Most pooterish Adrian Chiles column

His Beatles Band book is good not bad! As is his Princess Margaret book. His PE parodies are variable, but this one works pretty well. Or maybe I was so thrilled to see it, that critical faculties were suspended...

Chiles is just getting started tbh.

This one is the odd one out. He is playing it straight and political.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/oct/13/in-the-pandemic-27bn-worth-of-was-committed-why-arent-we-angrier

Not that I've read any of it beyond the headlines. But I might read that one.

https://www.gawker.com/media/adrian-chiles-does-not-miss

Chiles is bad now.

He's baconed but hey I don't think it'll change him

The baconing continues: he's going to be on the Taskmaster end of year special.

along with "Claudia Winkleman, Paralympian Jonnie Peacock, rapper, Lady Leshurr and former Conservative Cabinet Minister Baroness Sayeeda Warsi."

soon hes gnna thanos the h8as, cant be me dustified

Would not have predicted Chiles as being the breakout star of the one-off New Year edition of Taskmaster

I think Adrian Chiles is acutely aware of how surreally mundane he is, and it makes him all the funnier for it. He's like a performance piece on how weird normality can be. #Taskmaster

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) January 1, 2022

I feel like seeing him consciously play up the surreally mundane thing just brings it to the point of curdling into schtick, it's only funny when you can at least half-believe it might be ingenuous

Disagree in this one instance tho normally id probably cosign

Cant even say why, the man has a dull power

maybe what makes Chiles surreal is that he's trying to tread this well trodden path of John Peel's Home Truths style 'self-consciously banal in a quirky way' vibe, but there's something *off* about it, so he comes across not as charming eccentric but as genuinely mental, in which case it was always a combination self-conscious and oblivious?

Oh hes a genuine threat, its like seeing boris on HIGNFY in 2004 or whatever

damn right! when he gave that right-wing QC free rein on his show to state blatant falsehoods about Hillsborough some might say that is part of his guileless persona - I just think it makes him a class A cunt tbh.

Tim Dowling seems to cornered the 'self-consciously banal in a quirky way' market in the Guardian. I'm astounded that he regularly gets 700 - 600 comments a column.

it was the last thing I cared about, and the squirrel ruined it

it would probably work as a Chiles column heading but when you see Tim's insufferably smug looking byline pic you immediately feel he's trying too hard and fuck off!

Reader, I clicked

https://i.imgur.com/Ujcmqcf.jpg

Perfect.

Next week's column:

"Does anyone
have tips about
how to unblock
a toilet?
Adrian Chiles

As someone who suffers from IBS I approve of comrade Chile's solidarity on this matter.

I'm in Kyiv and awake at the darkest hour - do you need to use my toilet?

I have a question for Russian tank drivers...

Fascinating

having a good dump after a Chile

Piles of Chiles: The collected columns

Chiles has really excelled himself this time:

I have a urinal in my flat and it has changed my life – so why are people appalled?

tbf this is like the anti-pooter

👑

Undefeated. Undefeatable. pic.twitter.com/bukRbsWEEr

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) May 4, 2022

just getting into this guy, such a life

not only did my mum have a favourite wooden spoon, but it was so chipped and ancient and gnarly that HER mum wd refer to it (with affection) as "e coli"

I've got one.

i do too, coincidentally the cheapest one we have. here's 8 paragraphs about it.

I still haven't forgotten the time Chiles just sat there while some right-wing barrister cunt was talking barefaced lies about Hillsborough victims on his R5 show, and he didn't challenge him at all. When he's not being ingratiatingly Chiles he's just basically another BBC cunt.

I've got a stainless steel Prestige saucepan that is probably from the 1950's. It was given to my mum by my grandmother when she was still living in Ireland in the early 60's. It doesn't even look old, no dents, can still tighten the handle tight with a driver, the thread and screw still fine. It's more of a design miracle than any NASA project.

Kevin came bursting into my office this morning, asking if I'd read today's Chiles column... because "that's me, that's me, I have a favourite spoon too!"

(He doesn't read Private Eye, so knows nothing of the Me And My Spoon column.)

Gotta admit I kinda resent my wooden kitchen implements for having to be handwashed.

tbh i dishwash my wooden spoons (all of which were my mum's before me and are decades old and in fine fettle)

(not e coli tho, my sister says that went on the bonfire when we closed up mum and dad's house: she was less of a fan than my grandma)

Cometh the Hour, Cometh the Man pic.twitter.com/15HvMl1gM5

— HMP Groverhaus (@EssexFront) July 6, 2022

"Many men can look good wearing a codpiece. I am not one of them."

Wise words. I went one step further than Chiles and downloaded a fauna-identifying app and deleted it as soon as it started aggressively prompting me for bank details before I'd even tried it out.

I downloaded a couple of mushroom identification apps but they completely failed to tell me the one thing I wanted to know about mushrooms

it's not like identifying the edible ones and fatally poisonous mushrooms is any big deal!

"yes, it's definitely a pebble"

lol "it's a fucking cob"

I got a back-to-front West Brom tattoo - and I love it

Column doesn't say much more than the title so no real purpose in linking to it.

calzino at 9:14 6 Jul 22
it's not like identifying the edible ones and fatally poisonous mushrooms is any big deal!

In the nation’s hour of need

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/sep/21/i-recently-saw-something-in-a-petrol-station-toilet-southbound-on-the-m1-that-i-can-never-unsee

Misread the last sentence as Adrian offering his services to clean the bogs himself! No chance, best left to those who earn in 6 months what he was probably paid to dribble out this bilge.

yeah I was thinking exactly the same tbh - "I'd make sure the toilet cleaners did a proper job" is not exactly "he never misses". But I realised he was a lickspittle that day he gave some barrister arsehole free reign to slur Hillsborough victims on 5 live.