Lucky for you, I got all these daddy issues: Queer Summer, 2021 (LGBTQQIAAP+++)

I didn't realize that about the chemistry. It's definitely tricky to navigate, sometimes it can be dormant until you start making out or w/e other times it just isn't happening. It's all very foreign to me as well, has been for years <3

I know Cold Spring Harbor intimately well, of course. I was just there a couple of weeks ago en route to Caumsett. Had a bunch of friends scattered around Huntington at one time (it's huge!!) but I've still gotta make it out to Stony Brook/Pt. Jeff area.

I'm too nervous to learn to drive actually. I am a space case with a slooow reaction time. Someone once told me if I can walk around without bumping into stuff, i should be ok to drive. But like, I've broken my nose 3 times walking into walls.

Omg. No I totally hear you, I'm deathly scared because I'm such a nervous nelly. But honestly nothing would make me feel more liberated than to be able to get the f*** out of the city. You're also right about the chemistry, I really don't know if it's there or not yet. I think I just have to figure out how to move forward if it isn't.

Port Jeff is actually pretty beautiful. It's charming over there, without being fussy.

my favorite hang buddy is back in town after a long time - i have to tell u I'm honestly not sure when the last time I had sex is and i think I'm def ready lol

I had a fun night the other night going out to the local bar and hanging with a really cool trans lady I met there. we came back to my place after and just talked and hung out for the rest of the night it was super nice. sometimes you just meet somebody who's flow goes with your flow ya know?

Had my first hookup with a young feller; we'd danced around each other since late June, a friend of friends. He's quite young, and for the first time ever in this sort of thing I sense the differences

I sense the differences

uh, vive la différence?

go away

I've given this a lot of thought and here's a broomstick. Go fuck yourself.

Wtf

Flagged

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6d/66/26/6d6626999a0306532878ecb034966a47.gif

omg what's happening in here!

Alfred what's he look like? good chemistry?

Fight, fight, doesn't anyone eat anymore?

i'll tell you what i'm gonna be eating is popcorn when i go see CANDYMAN tonight

I'm going to be eating candy when I go to Popman tonight!

what is popman??

ok candyman was good y'all

I ate candy last Friday night!

what kind?? i'm also here to tell u that if u come across a twizzler alternative called RED VINES - run, don't walk, away!

i think me and a fb have set a date for Saturday - it's been a minute i hope i remember how it's done

The hairy moist kind. It tasted good.

Red Vines are really good

omg

lol! i respect this opinion my friend.

my thing fell throughhhhhgggg grrrrr 😶😶😶 although i did bring home an amazing human the other night, a trans chicka who i met at the pool table ( she was kicking ass ). we had a great time but there was no sex. it definitely fed my mind tho.

um SO - i talked to another man this weekend who loves red vines. i honestly think this might be like a missing taste bud issue for me. wassup y'all. give me the late summer updates. i want it all.

red vines are ok, just think of the mention of them as sexual come-ons

just that that kind of banter sounds flirtatious to me

hey so i went on a date with a costume designer with a mustache - i think there might be a second date - he's real sweet. tall and handsome, thinks i'm cute. not mad about it.

Elvira is one of us!: https://www.avclub.com/elvira-actor-cassandra-peterson-comes-out-1847719555

Just in time for Halloween!

i saw that! she's so gorge

hey so what are our thoughts on manscaping

i've just had a bit of a buzzer accident lol....

Mandatory for much of the population.

yes ... granted it does make me look beefier lolo

the only thing i take a razor to is my face

ok let's be VERY CLEAR - i take no razors literally anywhere on my face or body lol

ugh gross

Having my first come-over date since early 2020!

ok let's talk about this - have you met in person before?

No razor except for the neckbeard, but clippers in plenty other spots.

you can't have that much fur tho yah?

xp i'm just sayin' - i had my first coming over date since lockdown started a few months ago and i realized only AFTER i opened the door that i should have done a more exhaustive quality check

Yes! We had one petting session four weeks ago; now I hope to perfect it.

<3<3<3<3<3 excellent!

I'm can only accept a beard for the first couple of days, it looks good for those two days only, then I have to shave

i don't really do any manscaping but you know what bothers me more than ever these days is my eyebrows. i have to snip random wild hairs every few days, they drive me crazy. there are always more a day or two later. i had a dream about it last night lol.

honestly trimming and shaving is such a pain in the ass but i always feel so much better afterward. i'm still doing the covid buzz. i've gotten used to it. going to a barber used to feel like a luxury but now it just seems like a big headache.

i much prefer under manscaped to over manscaped tho i generally found most guys to be w/in some acceptable normal range. a teeny little trim is prob all i require tho in the end

i had a fun summer, we went to provincetown for the first time and wow, lots of naked guys and having sex on the beach. we had sex on the beach! (twice). we met this one kid there (he was prob like 22 or 23) who came down from montreal by himself & had just had sex w/ a couple behind us while we were having sex. we talked for a while and then went and got drinks, then we dragged him to a party w/ some of our friends from new york who happened to be there at the same time. then the three of us went back to our hotel room but he had taken too much ketamine so we didn't end up doing anything except sleep in the bed chastely & then he had to leave the next day. i really don't like ketamine! i've never taken it but it's very popular here & i find it turns ppl into zombies

I tried ketamine once on Fire Island, I liked feeling loose but it was only momentary bliss. We had to prop my friend Joe up because he almost passed out

I trim my underarms and my chest hair, but not down to the nub, just to a manageable level. Having a haircutting kit with multiple different sized stand-offs is very useful.

on the non-monogomy subject, i've been talking with my boyfriend about opening things up. we played with a third once in the summer, but my boyfriend wasn't that into the guy, and the guy ended up becoming too demanding, so i guess our first foray wasn't successful. i've always liked dark rooms and cruising and that sort of thing, and my boyfriend isn't necessarily opposed to that, but i'm honestly not sure what i want. we're going to try a couple scruff profile - that way we can block the ex and look for chemistry and so forth.

Full disclosure on both sides; prior disclosure to any potential third parties;

^^this is def necessary if you're gonna be open. we had a long talk about it at first where we laid down ground rules (friends are off-limits, if we do anything with anyone we tell the other person no matter what, etc), even bought a book to guide us through the process. our openness has evolved as time has gone on; at first we were doing things with other people whenever, but right now we're at a stage where we only do things with other people if one of us is out of town. having said that, i quit using hook-up apps even before COVID struck, haven't rejoined and don't particularly want to. (i did have a finsta for a spell but have since deleted that too.)

I'm glad that hook-up apps weren't around in my heyday; they're not for me. I had Grindr for about a year, 2010 to 2011, but mostly used it to chat to my friends. It did come in useful while I was working in Manila for six weeks, when the only other social alternative was visiting the same ex-pat sports bar with my colleagues night after night. My best hook-up from that time is still a friend to this day, and he's stayed with us a few times.

We've been with friends! Hasn't been a problem!

We've had hook-ups here and there and had a regular third with a friend for a while, but nothing in a long time. I think if Covid hadn't happened, we'd probably have had a more recent conversation about opening things up, though we're still technically open. Tbh, I just really want to suck dick more often! But I'm fine with waiting, too.

Fwiw, we were friends with that regular third, and while I wouldn't say we're "not friends," let's just say that they tested our boundaries in a way that pissed us off, and we won't be inviting them back to bed any longer

part of our issue with opening things up is where we live. my boyfriend has lived in salt lake city for a long time and let's just say he has a history with a lot of guys here, lol (it is truly a small town). his last partner was super dishonest but they were playing around with a more visible cohort of play-around types who he feels were also disrespectful. i feel like both of us would loosen up a little bit if we could turn over a new leaf somewhere else. thankfully we mesh as far as what we want from play, except he is more cautious about protection than i am (understandable considering positions iykwim), but we already have some agreements about disclosure and testing etc.

typing all this out is making me think that we might want to revisit the discussion and focus less on play-together, more on play-apart, since we have different needs, histories and comfort levels. but he's a voyeur and i'm an exhibitionist, so if we can find something that works together, it would be fun for both of us.

my previous bf and i were open & it worked great bcuz he was traveling to DJ a lot or playing late in nyc & staying out all night etc, we had a lot of time apart where seeing other ppl made sense and was clean & easy. (mostly, anyway -- i had a lot of fun w/ one guy for a while but eventually he wanted more out of me than i could give.) tho it did eventually trigger our (much needed) break up (my ex met a guy in europe he thought he could be with & that did not end up being the case) it did, for the last year plus of our relationship, relieve a lot of latent tension and bring us closer together. (we're still very close friends, probably closer in a lot of ways than we were as partners.) i'd like to be non-monogamous to some degree in my current relationship but our social lives are much more intertwined and i'm not sure what i would want, or what would make sense, given that we rarely spend nights apart, neither of us regularly travels w/o the other etc. i don't think i want to be on apps & stuff like that, but i would like to enjoy the scent of another pair of balls, basically. we did have an aborted threesome in ptown this summer because the third took too much K and passed out in our bed, but i'm not sure i'd want to become a threesome couple. but maybe i would! i guess i've never tried it, perhaps it's a path forward

lol at "threesome couple." there is a funny power dynamic to that arrangement, isn't there? is it a cliche? i'm so unfamiliar with whatever the standard-issue open relationship arrangements are, haha. sometimes i feel a little bit weird about how uhh object-oriented i am when it comes to playing around. but i guess it's not that weird if my emotional needs are met in a primary relationship? and there are plenty of guys out there who enjoy being objectified i guess.

i have this fantasy of getting to know some other men through sex and then just being friends or even just smile-and-hug-on-the-street friends.

sometimes i wonder about just keeping things closed - that can have a really hot element to it. and if it's more of a bother than a stimulation opening things up in the first place, it would make sense. but i definitely have the itch for some variety. and sorry to go there, but let's just say there are two votes itt already for one of the activities i like to be on the other end of, lol. my boyfriend has a very small mouth - though he does an admirable job with what he has! - and that's probably the thing i would most like more of.

more small mouths?

we had a lot of time apart where seeing other ppl made sense and was clean & easy

i have this fantasy of getting to know some other men through sex and then just being friends or even just smile-and-hug-on-the-street friends.

One of the joys of the gay life. I still talk to tricks and ex's from two decades ago.

I have definitely stayed friends with a number of former flings and exes. I also hate-follow a few of them, one guy in particular is the most annoying type to me: US expat into leather and sex culture in Berlin, makes so called "art" related to leather and sex culture, clearly works out a fair amount. He was fun when we were in an orgy together but Christ he's such a cliché, it makes me embarrassed.

such a wide array of experiences! i never fully realized how open my x and i were (wouldn't need to tell the other, friends not excluded...)

sometimes i look around and get really judgy about it, and then realize i'm not in an entirely different boat. i think judginess in the gay community can strongly mimic the way girls judge and are mean to one another, which is its own issue and something i'm trying to watch out for. don't want to be like that, or get embittered like that etc.

and of course, all of this with a grain of salt since my relationship is no longer. anyways, i'll be conjuring up a fall thread title shortly but talk amongst yourselves until then!

I'm Only Happy When It's Gay // LGBTTQQIAAP+ // Fall 2021

i have this fantasy of getting to know some other men through sex and then just being friends or even just smile-and-hug-on-the-street friends.
― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Tuesday, 26 October 2021

In the meantime you can disabuse yourself of sex and treat this existential problem by reading all 1200 pages of Juliette. No shirking when it gets too sadistic!