worst wedding I ever went to was when my auntie married this guy known as Yellow Eddie (he worked in a dye factory and looked like a yellow corpse) and I can't remember which stupid religion she'd converted to but the strongest drink there was appletiser.
― calzino, Friday, August 13, 2021 1:18 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
lmao @ yellow eddie
― brimstead, Friday, August 13, 2021 1:30 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
Eddie Yeller, worst pearl jam cover bandember ever
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Friday, August 13, 2021 2:03 PM (forty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
yellow edbetter
― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Friday, August 13, 2021 2:20 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago)
― criminally negligible (harbl), Friday, 13 August 2021 18:48 (two years ago) link
the Lawrence of Arabia cosplayer has called Biden "continuity Trump"
hadn't pegged him as a trenchant ILX politics poster
― in a bar, under the (seandalai), Thursday, 19 August 2021 09:40 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
What does he roleplay when you peg him
― since you are a big fan of adult websites (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 19 August 2021 10:00 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Friday, 20 August 2021 10:03 (two years ago) link
if steve harvey was the next jeopardy host:
---
How're you gonna ANSWER. Without PUTTIN it. In the form of a QUESTION! I mean DANG, Jason; you damn sure been watching this show since... since when?"...like... the 80's..."And you still gonna come on here and - you know what, I ain't even gon' stress, any of you other big brain baddies want some of this one?
― think “Gypsy-Pixie” and misspelled. (We are a white family.) (forksclovetofu), Friday, 27 August 2021 04:44 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 August 2021 13:17 (two years ago) link
I just encountered the word "glocal" and may need to lie down for a while
― and after eel, you're my Wonder Wheel (Ye Mad Puffin)
was it written by thomas friedman y/n
― mookieproof
it’s how birds have oral sex
― Tracer Hand
― it is to laugh, like so, ha! (Aimless), Friday, 27 August 2021 18:51 (two years ago) link
for sure, some of the best engineers on the planet are probably working for Tesla and SpaceX, Elon himself on the other hand seems to have no good car ideas at all. maybe I'm wrong!!
here's a fun story, my little brother owns a Tesla and something got messed up with the security system, idk if he hit the wrong button or something but the car just started freaking out, like honking and flashing lights and all that. apparently when it thinks its getting "broken into" the stereo system also starts playing Trans-Siberian Orchestra at max volume, which you can't turn off. the problem was my brother's wife and his 1-year old son were trapped in the car, and now there's this deafening music playing while my brother literally has to Google how to turn the shit off, and you just know fucking Elon Musk brought that up at some meeting, "ha ha, here is funny idea, also very smart because it disorient the thief, ha ha" and everyone around him is afraid to tell him no so they just start working 90 hour weeks instead of 80 to make it happen, and now my nephew might have hearing damage
― frogbs, Sunday, 29 August 2021 16:28 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
― he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee (imago), Monday, 30 August 2021 08:52 (two years ago) link
…
― a gentle push against my Wonder Bread face (DJP), Monday, 30 August 2021 12:51 (two years ago) link
This week I learned mom knows who Brian Jones is. Sort of.
― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:09 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink
She phoned a couple of days ago and mentioned that the drummer for the Rolling Stones died "again".
― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:11 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink
I said, no, this is the first time a drummer for the Rolling Stones has died, are you maybe thinking of the drummer for the Who?
And she said no, his name was Barry, who is Barry?
― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:13 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink
"You mean the guy from the Bee Gees?"
"No, the Rolling Stones."
Eventually we figured out that she was thinking of Brian Jones, but she thought he was the drummer and that his name was Barry.
"You don't know who Brian Jones is."
"Yes, I remember he wore yellow corduroy pants. Mustard yellow."
"OMG, you know who Brian Jones is."
― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:17 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 30 August 2021 18:45 (two years ago) link
Ha! Plus the Rutles stuff afterwards.
― Gwar ina Babyon (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 30 August 2021 19:36 (two years ago) link
that was cool, glad they did the whole song and not just part. What was that from?
― akm, Monday, September 13, 2021 3:54 PM bookmarkflaglink
that was my question too. apparently maya rudolph had a show with martin short?? it lasted 6 episodes.
― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 13, 2021 5:26 PM bookmarkflaglink
That sounds like plenty.
― a hallan shaker loon (dowd), Wednesday, September 15, 2021 10:22 AM bookmarkflaglink
― a gentle push against my Wonder Bread face (DJP), Wednesday, 15 September 2021 14:55 (two years ago) link
simple. elegant. excelsior.
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 15 September 2021 17:56 (two years ago) link
maybe he's born with it?
maybe it's excelsior
― "HYYOOOOOOONK!" is the sound I make (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 15 September 2021 18:04 (two years ago) link
I wore a Dead Milkmen shirt and a fellow student ran out crying because her dad was a milkman who was dead
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Monday, September 20, 2021 5:54 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Monday, 20 September 2021 20:10 (two years ago) link
Lmfao
― Nature's promise vs. Simple truth (bernard snowy), Monday, 20 September 2021 20:15 (two years ago) link
yeah that was great
― you had me at "giallo" (Neanderthal), Monday, 20 September 2021 20:17 (two years ago) link
Must be a problem for any punks going to college with the Kennedy kids.
― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 20 September 2021 20:52 (two years ago) link
Well it soured it somewhat
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, 20 September 2021 22:13 (two years ago) link
imo people are going to need to adjust their expectations about when and how they put energy into their cars. like, it mainly happens at home, and if you’re going far enough that you need to do it on the road then you’ll need to combine that with a bit of a break. a meal. watch something on your ipad. yes that feels less convenient than spending 5 minutes pumping poison into a tank but one of the tradeoffs is that you never have to pay $1000 to replace a $50 HVAC sensor or deal with a main seal or whatever.
― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 20, 2021 5:03 PM bookmarkflaglink
I'm fairly sure my uncle got an EV just to have an excuse to stop for a burger wherever he goes
― kinder, Monday, September 20, 2021 5:50 PM bookmarkflaglink
fair play
― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 20, 2021 5:51 PM bookmarkflaglink
You know that someone is going to have beef with electric cars
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, September 20, 2021 6:11 PM bookmarkflaglink
― talkin' about his flat tire (DJP), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 14:27 (two years ago) link
(I'm a simple man)
I think we should always keep a baseline yknow
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 14:48 (two years ago) link
Henceforth known as the beefline.
― i carry the torch for disco inauthenticity (Eric H.), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 14:55 (two years ago) link
Anything below it will be considered unbeefhitting
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 14:57 (two years ago) link
i get my kicks above the waistline, bovine
― sarahell, Tuesday, 21 September 2021 15:31 (two years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/z0qFlW1.gif
― typo hell #5: maybe you get an idea of what went into, or (Karl Malone), Saturday, 25 September 2021 22:37 (two years ago) link
I have no idea why this made me just lose it so badly:---
Fans of Sonic onion rings will know that they have a particular sweetness -- I found out yesterday it's because they soak the cut onions in their ice cream mix, or at least a variation on it, before breading.
― Profiles in Liquid Courage (WmC), Thursday, October 7, 2021 12:26 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
that also explains their peculiarly oniony ice cream
― hundreds of millions of (cat), Thursday, October 7, 2021 12:31 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― joygoat, Thursday, 7 October 2021 18:08 (two years ago) link
lol
mystery solved
― typo hell #12: a hundreds of millions of people (Karl Malone), Thursday, 7 October 2021 18:25 (two years ago) link
I imagining some alternate universe where people complain "Man, I can't believe Hendrix went from Electric Ladyland to this bland Babyface shit! I bet Clapton wouldn't have done this had he survived that heroin overdose."
― birdistheword, Monday, October 11, 2021 5:45 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 17:40 (two years ago) link
Tweet: Colin Powell dies from Covid complications
The chemical weapons finally got him
― St. Twel'mo, or the Cuneiform Cyclopedist of Chattanooga (President Keyes), Monday, October 18, 2021 10:24 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― adam t. (abanana), Monday, 18 October 2021 14:57 (two years ago) link
in the MCU, dr strange scans an incomprehensibly large number of possible futures for music consumption, desperately searching for timelines that restrain Hot Hot Heat to obscurity -- there's only one.
― John Lakeman gives pipe lecture (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, October 18, 2021 12:29 PM bookmarkflaglink
― talkin' about his flat tire (DJP), Monday, 18 October 2021 16:31 (two years ago) link
I feel like there hasn’t been a lot of funny lately, what with all the creeping horror and impending doom in the world, but this got me good:
Can we be shown cool white evangelicals + Mike Love?― John Stockton buying a used car from (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 20 October 2021 17:47 (two hours ago) link
― John Stockton buying a used car from (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 20 October 2021 17:47 (two hours ago) link
― epistantophus, Wednesday, 20 October 2021 20:37 (two years ago) link
FTR this predated Nirvana. I first noticed it at a Red Hot Chili Peppers show in 1990
Yeah I meant more like They Might Be Giants where I saw slamming and crowd-surfing in the era
― chr1sb3singer, Tuesday, October 19, 2021 5:06 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
the height of this for me was watching some concert on MTV and people were crowdsurfing to "Linger" by the Cranberries
― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, October 20, 2021 6:36 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
do u have todo u have todo u have to mosh to "linger"
― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson)
― Communist Hockey Goblin (sleeve), Thursday, 21 October 2021 00:34 (two years ago) link
every time i tell my son i love him or that he did a good job he rolls his eyes and goes yeah yeah that’s what every dad says― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, October 26, 2021 3:31 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglinkthats when u reply with "ok fuck u then"― class project pat (m bison), Tuesday, October 26, 2021 3:36 PM (fifty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglinkyou don't know what you got till it's gone― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Tuesday, October 26, 2021 3:37 PM (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
― war mice (hardcore dilettante), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:36 (two years ago) link
you don't miss your water 'til dad's "fuck you, guy"
― John Lakeman gives pipe lecture (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:46 (two years ago) link
look if you’re not going to engage with the different facets of ChAdOx1 nCoV-19 or BNT162b2 vaccination then i don’t know what you’re posting on this forum for tbh
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:35 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
ChAdOx1 is my name on counterstrike
― certified juice therapist (harbl), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:37 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 23:51 (two years ago) link
I've seen clips on Pornhub that are designed to be watched while wearing VR goggles and they're fucking bizarre to look at, like footage of conjoined twins shot through the world's most warped fisheye lens.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, October 29, 2021 12:01 AM (sixteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Thank you for your sacrifice
― maf you one two (maffew12), Friday, October 29, 2021 12:24 AM (sixteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Friday, 29 October 2021 15:54 (two years ago) link
like tears in rain
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 29 October 2021 15:55 (two years ago) link
^lol
― brimstead, Friday, 29 October 2021 20:06 (two years ago) link
my dewey youthfulness is due, in part, to never having seen forrest gump
― mookieproof, Sunday, October 31, 2021 5:00 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
I was forced to watch it five years ago as a DYING MAN’S LAST(ish) WISH and I am still pissed about it
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, October 31, 2021 2:40 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
On the bright side, he's dead now ...
― Milm & Foovies (Eric H.), Sunday, October 31, 2021 2:48 PM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Sunday, 31 October 2021 15:49 (two years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FCZwmJ_X0AYYtpP?format=jpg&name=small
robert plant jus thinkin baout his new song, in my time of djing
― o shit the sheriff (NickB), Sunday, October 31, 2021 9:29 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Sunday, 31 October 2021 17:05 (two years ago) link
Oh, I also bought a standing desk when I couldn't sit for about a month (long story lol), but I now stand while WFH and let me tell you, I feel so much better about working. Back, shoulders, everything.
― I'm a sovereign jizz citizen (the table is the table), Thursday, November 4, 2021 2:59 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink
Donald Rumsfeld's greatest legacy.
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 4, 2021 3:00 PM (fifty-two seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Thursday, 4 November 2021 19:02 (two years ago) link
Alfred been on fire today, this just made me actually lol
"let's build up a high sensitivity to fluctuating milk prices" a common tinder line from dogs― What it's like. Havana Syndrome. What it's like. Havana Syndrom (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:40 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglinksounds like a D. Boon lyric― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:41 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― What it's like. Havana Syndrome. What it's like. Havana Syndrom (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:40 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
sounds like a D. Boon lyric
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:41 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― I'm a sovereign jizz citizen (the table is the table), Thursday, 4 November 2021 22:26 (two years ago) link
Hahahaha
― the utility infielder of theatre (Neanderthal), Thursday, 4 November 2021 22:28 (two years ago) link
Starmer on Boris Johnson saying ‘fuck business': "I can promise you that the only 'F words' I'll be using are ‘foreign investment’, 'fair trade', 'fiscal policy', and 'fiduciary duty'"— Jon Stone (@joncstone) November 22, 2021a lot of debate going on in the QTs as to which comedy character this is most reminiscent of (Alan Partridge? Mark from Peep Show?), but I'd like to put a word in for Mark McKinney as Darryl on Kids In The Hall― soref, Monday, 22 November 2021 14:11 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglinkIncredible.― Daniel_Rf, Monday, 22 November 2021 14:14 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglinkPrincipal Skinner also making a strong showing― Critique of the Goth Programme (Neil S), Monday, 22 November 2021 14:24 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglinkIt immediately called to mind the abortive Marge Simpson musical number that began "morals and ethics and carnal forbearance" before she accidentally bulldozed the burlesque house― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 22 November 2021 14:37 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglinkDefinitely Mark from Peep Show.― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Monday, 22 November 2021 15:10 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglinkLet's talk about the real C-bomb. Common sense.― nashwan, Monday, 22 November 2021 15:15 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― soref, Monday, 22 November 2021 14:11 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Incredible.
― Daniel_Rf, Monday, 22 November 2021 14:14 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Principal Skinner also making a strong showing
― Critique of the Goth Programme (Neil S), Monday, 22 November 2021 14:24 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
It immediately called to mind the abortive Marge Simpson musical number that began "morals and ethics and carnal forbearance" before she accidentally bulldozed the burlesque house
― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 22 November 2021 14:37 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Definitely Mark from Peep Show.
― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Monday, 22 November 2021 15:10 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Let's talk about the real C-bomb. Common sense.
― nashwan, Monday, 22 November 2021 15:15 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 22 November 2021 23:50 (two years ago) link
dr pimple popper my favorite Walmart soda flavor― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Monday, November 22, 2021 5:49 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Monday, November 22, 2021 5:49 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
this is terrible and i can’t stop giggling at it
― cookie hat, esq. (cat), Tuesday, 23 November 2021 02:01 (two years ago) link
brb creating a sock account so I can excelsior my own posts
― sarahell, Tuesday, 23 November 2021 03:26 (two years ago) link
We wanted a turducken, but vegetarian, so we're having a tofucken.― Hideous Lump, Friday, 26 November 2021 10:42 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
― assert (matttkkkk), Friday, 26 November 2021 02:40 (two years ago) link
Marcus was born Greil Gerstley in San Francisco, California, the only son of Greil Gerstley and Eleanor Gerstley (née Hyman), a Jewish woman.
Does that mean he is related to Joey Ramone?― Duck and Sally Can't Dance (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, November 28, 2021 10:24 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Why Joey Ramone, a Jewish man?
― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Sunday, November 28, 2021 11:56 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Same last name.
― Duck and Sally Can't Dance (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, November 28, 2021 12:01 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
Pretty common name.
― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Sunday, November 28, 2021 12:41 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
No need to be a Dick about it.
― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Sunday, November 28, 2021 2:57 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
― peace, man, Sunday, 28 November 2021 21:30 (two years ago) link
Back on the sauce
I’m not sure if this is an appropriate tweet but In the sixties some of the models shaved their minges. I always thought it was a turn off I always liked women to look ‘au naturel’— Dave Davies (@davedavieskinks) December 2, 2021
― Alba, Friday, 3 December 2021 08:38 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
omg i thought he diedphew
^^^^^^^^^^
― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Friday, 3 December 2021 09:17 (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink
christ that tweet is so embarrassingget a grip dave!!
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 3 December 2021 14:43 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
Sir this is a Wendy’s etc.
― A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 3 December 2021 14:50 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
I never heard the term "minges" before. Still learning something new everyday!
― birdistheword, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:11 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
I hope Karl Minges has a good sense of humor. (He popped up when I looked it up on Google.)
― birdistheword, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:13 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink
For some reason, this makes me think of John Mendelssohn's shock at Ray's choice of underpants circa 1969.
― Halfway there but for you, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:40 (fifty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
‘au naturel’ is such a pleasant term!
― meisenfek, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:41 (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
'minge' is such an unpleasant term
― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:42 (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
bottom line: he should not be tweeting about thisno one wants to know dave davies' opinion sbout this
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:51 (forty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
otm
― Goofy the Grifter (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:53 (forty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
why are you kinkshaming
― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:59 (thirty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
― imago, Friday, 3 December 2021 16:40 (two years ago) link
Front bottom line - to be precise
― Luna Schlosser, Friday, December 3, 2021 4:00 PM (forty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
he really was "having a stroke"
― licorice in the front, pizza in the rear (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, December 3, 2021 4:18 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Friday, 3 December 2021 16:43 (two years ago) link
There are minges among us.
― DJI, Friday, 3 December 2021 17:07 (two years ago) link
and they're merciless
― Chappies banging dustbin lids together (President Keyes), Friday, 3 December 2021 17:10 (two years ago) link