OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Tired of writers, all writers, using the term "banger."

Hear hear. They should just use "sausage."

all these words are entirely fine, plz don't let this never-exactly-great thread decline into the always awful "words and phrases" thread

I'd be cool with reviews using "sausage."

you want people to write reviews with their penis?

he said sausage, not sauseeg.

My sausage slaps!

mine's a banger

bangers 'n' smash

Sausage Slaps is a great name for a band.

Don’t know where to put this, but it’s amusing to me that this article refers to Megan Thee Stallion as “Stallion” on second reference.

lol that is very funny.

"Mr Vert"

Film not music but please enjoy this sentence with me

"Despite the film’s compact running time of just more than 80 minutes, some of these scenes drag out and never quite arrive at a level of depth and originality a filmmaker like Miranda July, whose distinct style the film brings to mind, possesses with her one-of-a-kind voice."

https://variety.com/2021/film/reviews/how-it-ends-review-1234896131/

OOf, that's bad.

that distinctive style is possessing a compact running time

something about the combination of arguments, bullshit postulates and crap writing makes this one special
https://www.slantmagazine.com/music/the-pixies-trompe-le-monde-retrospective-review/

https://californianewstimes.com/r-kelly-conviction-will-this-be-musics-metoo-moment/544694/

I'm guessing this is some translation problem but wow:

“Executives are paralyzed. They’re burying their heads in the sand,” said Drew Dixon, a former A & R executive who raped music tycoon Russell Simmons. “The idea that this dysfunctional culture is needed to create the magic of hit records is a crackdown.”

Former A & R executive Drew Dixon, who raped music tycoon Russell Simmons, denies him © Getty / Equality Now

Dixon in his early twenties got a dream job. A Def Jam Recordings scout talent who worked with artists such as Notorious BIG, she left the company after Simmons claimed to have been raped. She will eventually leave the industry altogether. Simmons denied Dixon’s allegations, stating that all his relationships had reached an agreement.

What the fuck is California News Times?

I think that's an AI bot, fam

^^^

most of these sites are bad at getting a lot of search clout but some sneak into google news or whatever. they just scrape popular headlines, grab some text from existing stories, and then use a halfassed completion engine to generate vaguely English-looking text in order to get clicks

cool world

there’s always been a lot of noise in the machine

are you saying there was as much noise in the machine, say, 50 or 100 years ago as there is today?

let me rephrase: are you saying today's noise is comparable to the noise 50 or 100 years ago?

static up in those hills

https://www.hometownsource.com/morrison_county_record/opinion/west-what-is-the-dumbest-song-ever/article_4f8dc4da-f0b9-11eb-b36c-3f39e888ef68.html

If that is bad music writing, I don't want to see good.

More reviews of 60-year-old novelty songs by retired editors of Minnesota community papers plz

Perhaps you will enjoy the follow-up column.

The shout-out to “critical race theory” really situates the dude in a milieu.

I would happily dance to a song called "Critical Race Theory" (I'm imagining Gang of Four styles) but I respect the views of those who would find it difficult.

With 10 minutes and a notepad, I could probably work up a critical race theory parody of Supertramp's "Logical Song."

I believe they're still accepting submissions for the ilx comp.

Maybe comp 9 should be devoted to dancing to critical race theory?

Bonded by a shared love of Eighties hardcore and Nineties hip-hop, the creators of @boredapeyc make more than NFTs— they built an immersive, fantastical world. See how Bored Ape Yacht Club took over the internet, and how the founders envision their future. https://t.co/708BlWQGEq pic.twitter.com/XQ00Ijmjsp

— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) November 1, 2021

‘Are we the Beastie Boys of NFTs?”

“Bored Ape Yacht Club,” folks

There is a universe in which they have taken over the internet apparently

Any universe I’m welcome to

If you like Gorillaz as much as Toad the Wet Sprocket, then you’ll love…

trashbat.co.ck

Immersive! Fantastical! Morally Corrupt!

It's broadcast media, so I don't know whether it qualifies for this thread, but there is a current BBC series on 80s music written and presented by GQ editor and biographer of David Cameron Dylan Jones that is just terrible.

So I guess the Express is some kind of britisher garbagepaper, but even our garbagepapers are better than this:

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/1530552/Richard-Cole-dead-death-Led-Zeppelin-tour-manager-Robert-Plant-instagram-tribute-news

Richard Cole dead: Led Zeppelin tour manager dies as Robert Plant praises his 'bravery'
RICHARD COLE, former Led Zeppelin tour manager, has died aged 75.
By MELANIE KAIDAN
17:17, Thu, Dec 2, 2021 | UPDATED: 17:53, Thu, Dec 2, 2021

Richard Cole, best known for his work as Led Zeppelin’s tour manager, has died aged 75, one month before his birthday. The London-born music manager worked with legendary rock band Led Zeppelin from 1968 to 1980.

He also worked with other music giants including Eric Clapton, Black Sabbath, Lita Ford, and Ozzy Osbourne.

Led Zeppelin’s lead singer and lyricist, Robert Plant, paid an emotional tribute to his late tour manager:

In view of his 615,000 Instagram followers, the singer referred to Richard as “brave to the end”.

He wrote: “Farewell Ricardo...

“Sadly no more tall tales... brave to the end.”

The candid caption was accompanied by a photograph of the pair laughing.

Robert received an outpouring of messages of support from fans on the social media platform.

_sha_nizzle typed: “Very sorry to read this..

“May he rest in peace.”

groupieplant added: “It can't be!

“I do not believe.”

_bella_jenn_ said: “Condolences for your loss. R.I.P. Richard”

That's it. That's the article.

Our nation turns its lonely eyes to _sha_nizzle

groupieplant

.

"hope he's on the 'stairway to heaven'" added _zep_mom_9456

Heh