the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

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tbh the only actor who manages to pull off his dialogue 100% convincingly throughout the entire series is alec guinness

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:20 (fourteen years ago) link

which is a miracle if you actually read what he says, rather than listen to him say it

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:20 (fourteen years ago) link

but then again guinness wasn't necessarily reliant upon having a decent director, the dude sleepwalked through that role beautifully

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I think most everyone here works on ILM! Or at least contributes.

It's weird to roll one's eyes and laugh out loud at the same time.

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:26 (fourteen years ago) link

how does a man get so much lest trusting of his audience as he gets older...

my guess = did not originally quite conceive of his product as being "for children," was gradually convinced that it was, then later put awkward position of trying to make product that was both "for children" AND "for adult geeks"

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:28 (fourteen years ago) link

interesting theory but mine is that he is a sociopath

goole, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:29 (fourteen years ago) link

hahaha

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:30 (fourteen years ago) link

I think if someone finds an animated GIF of a beardo fucking a gigantic pile of money, you will have a more accurate representation of what was going through Lucas's head

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:30 (fourteen years ago) link

beardo shot first!

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean I think of the difference between Star Wars and Ewoks really being the drift from "I am making a sort of B-movie sci-fi fun-action epic" to "I am also part of a newish genre of fantastical entertainment children enjoy, so something should be small and fuzzy"

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

animated GIF of an Ewok fucking a pile of C3PO

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

also what is the difference between these two things, really? weren't B movies like designed for kids, originally for Saturday afternoons at the Bijou?

I am making a sort of B-movie sci-fi fun-action epic" to "I am also part of a newish genre of fantastical entertainment children enjoy,

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:33 (fourteen years ago) link

You know, they could have played the Ewoks exactly as they did and no one would have complained if they'd added scenes with them eating the fallen Stormtrooper clones.

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:35 (fourteen years ago) link

oh man cannibal Ewoks would be golden

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link

i don't think it's cannibalism if ewoks eat humans. just dinner.

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean I think of the difference between Star Wars and Ewoks really being the drift from "I want to impress and show up my buddies Steven and Francis" to "I rule and want to make more and more shitloads of money and who cares what anybody thinks"

― nabisco, Thursday, July 16, 2009 3:32 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

saddam hoosteen (s1ocki), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:37 (fourteen years ago) link

http://evilewoks.ytmnd.com/

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5XG1nSlxuI&feature=related

now imagine them passing around fingers and munching on them in the midst of this

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

they already have the heads near the beginning of the song, just take that next step and have the human allies kind of afraid of them

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

http://hawtaction.com/2008/08/20/GeorgeLucas.jpg

mark cl, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link

http://blog.gamer20.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/george_lucas.jpg

mark cl, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link

La-de-da-de-dah
KILL THEM
La-de-da-de-dah
EAT NOW
EAT THE HUMAN SCUM
EAT THE HUMAN SCUMMMMMMM!

"Directed by DAVID LYNCH"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link

i love those fuzzy bastards

kiddie rabies: attacked by brats (latebloomer), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:42 (fourteen years ago) link

btw listening to this over and over will make you slightly crazy

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Episode VII
Threat of the Ewoks

It is a period of fuzzy bastards...

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

It's striking how these movies have bad-ass themes like the main theme and the Imperial theme... and they also have "Yub Nub".

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:46 (fourteen years ago) link

CANNIBALS

At three a.m. he can’t take it anymore.

"Jedi?" he says loudly into the darkness.

"Hnnnh...wha?" says the archaeologist next to him, jerking alert from a deep sleep.

"I can't believe Jedi was your favorite," Jack says, feeling his balled-up jacket under his cheek as he turns his head to look at Daniel.

Daniel groans and rolls over, pressing his face against Sam's shoulder and pulling his own jacket over his head. "Make him stop, Sam."

"Even Teal'c thinks it's lame," Jack says.

"Indeed," Teal'c's voice echoes from the corner of their cell, where he sits attempting kel'no'reem. "The use of a second Death Star was derivative at best, although a number of the action sequences were quite entertaining."

"Oh, come on," Sam says, sounding a little muzzy. "The Ewoks were adorable."

Daniel mumbles something Jack can't hear, between the sound-absorbing quality of Sam's shoulder and the balled-up jacket Daniel still holds over one ear. "What was that, o tasteless one?"

"The Ewoks were cannibals!" Daniel says, sitting up suddenly and throwing his jacket at Jack. "When Luke, Han, and Chewbacca are taken prisoner by the Ewoks, you can see a skinned Ewok being roasted on a spit over a fire in the background. The Ewoks are the perfect example of a race that is underestimated and assumed to be ethical merely because they're cute, when all evidence shown suggests they engage in tribal warfare and devour their enemies."

"Cannibals? Daniel, they're like little teddy bears!" Carter says, aghast.

"Daniel Jackson, I believe you may be right." Teal'c sounds surprised. "I will view that film with a new perspective."

"Yeah, if the Pygmies of Planet Propaganda ever let us out. I think Daniel was making a little reference to our situation here."

"I said there was something fishy. You thought they were cute," Daniel scowls, flopping back onto the floor.

There's a moment of silence in the cell. Just when Daniel thinks he might get some sleep, Jack says, "So, if this is Jedi, do I get to be Han?"

"I am not Princess Leia!" Sam says, seeing immediately where this is going.

"You know, Teal'c, you'd make a great Lando."

Daniel swears he can hear Teal'c's eyebrow raise. He lets out a little sob, rolls onto his side, and prays for unconsciousness.

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:46 (fourteen years ago) link

that's true, they're not entirely dissimilar, but I do think there are some small formal differences between making a "fun" sci-fi/action movie and a fantasy thing that's aimed at kids -- or at least at this point I think those tend to be two strains that have to be balanced out in movies that do both (like, say, Spiderman movies, or the way the Harry Potter movies have hoped to move from one toward the other) ... I guess you could also put it in terms of demographics, like whether you're skewing toward 15-year-olds or 10-year-olds, or questions like that.

certainly there was stuff at the time that was totally both (Superman movies, for instance), but part of what I mean, really, is that ... wasn't it sort of during the course of the original trilogy that the idea of "high-budget, non-animated, fantastical movie aimed at kids" kinda firmed up and became more of a thing? like kind of a boom around, say, E.T. or The Dark Crystal or whatever? which somehow accounts in my head for the tone of Return of the Jedi versus the two before it.

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:47 (fourteen years ago) link

wasn't it sort of during the course of the original trilogy that the idea of "high-budget, non-animated, fantastical movie aimed at kids" kinda firmed up and became more of a thing? like kind of a boom around, say, E.T. or The Dark Crystal or whatever?

Definitely a demi-trend. The Neverending Story would count too.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:48 (fourteen years ago) link

like even in terms of money and popularity, surely it seemed more like you could sell a shitload of Ewok merchandise in 1984 than it would have in 1977

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Didn't this whole merchandising boom happen BECAUSE of the original trilogy?

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:49 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean, think about how many Star Wars toys were put out there before the Ewoks even showed up.

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:50 (fourteen years ago) link

probably in large part, yes! but that's what I mean about the guy possibly following his own success out in that direction and being like "hell yeah, if that's working, let's put teddy bears in the last one"

(note: I like Ewoks fine, I'm just saying)

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:51 (fourteen years ago) link

i think that has to do with the ewoks being cute and cuddly and more appealing to the masses--i knew someone who claimed that the ewoks were invented just so lucas could make $$$ selling teddy bears. star wars toys were insanely popular straight out of the gate.

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link

What the hell:

Ewok Festival of Love is an event. Ewoks are small creatures that are native to the forest moon of Endor. The trees of the forest provide not only physical shelter to the Ewoks, but also give the tribe a sense of protection as the trees watch over them.

The Ewoks live in harmony with nature and forage for food in the lush vegetation. Camby berries are given freely during the Festival of Love, celebrated once a year to honor the kinship and love between tribe members. During the festival, the Ewoks present this gift of their hard-earned food to other members of the tribe to demonstrate trust and acceptance.

As the Ewoks celebrate the Festival of Love, tribe members prepare meals, dance, and sing traditional songs, such as this ancestral chant often heard drifting through the treetops of the forest moon: Dugun duca lula ludia nuna, dounga, luna nudia!

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link

i mean INSANELY popular

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link

goddamn you Ned.

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

luna nudia

you have ruined my entire life

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:54 (fourteen years ago) link

Uh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdd0edT-BeE

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:54 (fourteen years ago) link

Behind the scenes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhyWRaSaPig

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

okay PHEW that was a Star Wars Galaxies thing and not a real life thing

nude Star Wars fans yub nubbing under the pale moonlight was going to give me night terrors

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:56 (fourteen years ago) link

As the Ewoks celebrate the Festival of Love, tribe members prepare meals, dance, and sing traditional songs, such as this ancestral chant often heard drifting through the treetops of the forest moon: Dugun duca lula ludia nuna, dounga, luna nudia!

This is some sort of furry/Star Wars crossover, isn't it.

Detroit Metal City (Nicole), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:56 (fourteen years ago) link

The 'guest star' in the video seems only appropriate.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link

furry/sw/ilx crossover

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link

Title: Ewok Murder Rampage: A Hero Emerges

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link

you know, the Ewok thing would be better if Billy Dee did the whole thing as opposed to the a capella reject

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link

http://circusfiretragedy.com/FanArt/ewok_murder_rampage.jpg

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link

my new favorite band

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link

you know, the Ewok thing would be better if Billy Dee did the whole thing as opposed to the a capella reject

Yes.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link


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