the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

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I liked the conceit of two lowliest characters being the true heroes of the series, and I wish Lucas had made them more self-serving and avaricious like in Hidden Fortress. It would have been neat for the prequels to see them in the employ of Palpatine, then defecting to rebels after some bumbling infraction makes them fear for their lives. Along the way R2 can spot the plans for the Death Star and swipe them hoping for riches on the black market. C3P0 catches him and demands a 60/40 cut and amusing bot slapping ensues.

Hey let's play game -- 70s trilogy or 90s trilogy?

'The loudness, the smash-and-grab editing, the relentless pacing drive every idea from your head; for young audiences “Star Wars” is like getting a box of Cracker Jack which is all prizes.'

'Lucas has got the tone of bad movies down pat: you never catch the actors deliberately acting badly, they just seem to be bad actors'

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 16 July 2009 18:51 (fourteen years ago) link

Ben Burtt invented Swahili?

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 18:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Ben Burtt invented Swahili?

I was thinking more Huttese.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 18:53 (fourteen years ago) link

Burtt also invented Urdu.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 18:54 (fourteen years ago) link

that is the kind of technology Lucas should've concentrated on after THX (esp. as he said himself he wanted kids to understand what was going on in the films without having to rely on the dialogue, not that that explains it's general poorness).

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:47 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

am i crazy or do i not remember lucas talking about how he wanted the prequels to effectively be silent movies, which is why the dialogue is so artless and perfunctory i guess

'The loudness, the smash-and-grab editing, the relentless pacing drive every idea from your head; for young audiences “Star Wars” is like getting a box of Cracker Jack which is all prizes.'

kael quote, so that's the original trilogy imo

cankles, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Kael actually loved The Empire Strikes Back, disliked SW, and despised the one with the Ewoks.

My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:05 (fourteen years ago) link

I've met a fair number of people who have worked with George Lucas at LucasFilm or ILM

I think most everyone here works on ILM! Or at least contributes.

kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:05 (fourteen years ago) link

xp 'loved' Empire seems like a stretch, but she rightfully pointed out that it was the most imaginative and artfully made of the movies

cankles, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:06 (fourteen years ago) link

there's no star wars poll? like which one of the three is the best? it's #2, right?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:07 (fourteen years ago) link

of course it's V

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:08 (fourteen years ago) link

a Star Wars poll would just force us to do our routines one more time.

My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:09 (fourteen years ago) link

Do you know what, I say "use your HATRED Anakin" all the time. the Viceroy picked up one of those kids picture books that has 10 buttons that make noise and did a PERFECT job recreating III with it. "Use your HATRED Anakin" "I must return to Naboo" "volcano sounds" "I must return to Naboo"

kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link

and "NOOOOOO"

kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link

a Star Wars poll would just force us to do our routines one more time.

nah-we'd be talking about highlights rather than talking about what makes the new ones suck balls

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I wouldn't hold your breath there...

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:11 (fourteen years ago) link

of course it's V

oh right--sorry forgot the crazy number scheme

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:11 (fourteen years ago) link

Half the complaints about Jar Jar and other aliens in the movie would have been taken care of if they'd gone the route with Greedo, Jabba, etc. in the originals and had them speak in Ben Burtt-invented languages with appropriate subtitles, I figure.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, July 16, 2009 1:49 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah none of that happens in the prequels does it?! that stuff was so cool. how does a man get so much lest trusting of his audience as he gets older...

goole, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:12 (fourteen years ago) link

A poll of our least favorite bit of Lucas dialogue would be sweet, though.

My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

there's probably more than fifty chunks of bad dialog though

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

like i'm trying to think of GOOD dialog

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

some of chewbacca's musings, certainly

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

flububu

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:14 (fourteen years ago) link

The theatrical rescreening of the original trilogy was a revelation in how blatantly awful Luke was. I was rooting for him to get eaten in the ice cave.

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:14 (fourteen years ago) link

he's our cocky flyboy

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:16 (fourteen years ago) link

I liked that one song the cantina band played

cool app (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:16 (fourteen years ago) link

I think any "great dialog" poll is going to be all Han, Leia and Vader with a couple of Lando quotes thrown

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:17 (fourteen years ago) link

laugh it up fuzzball

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:19 (fourteen years ago) link

tbh the only actor who manages to pull off his dialogue 100% convincingly throughout the entire series is alec guinness

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:20 (fourteen years ago) link

which is a miracle if you actually read what he says, rather than listen to him say it

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:20 (fourteen years ago) link

but then again guinness wasn't necessarily reliant upon having a decent director, the dude sleepwalked through that role beautifully

"he said...all things passantino the night" (omar little), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I think most everyone here works on ILM! Or at least contributes.

It's weird to roll one's eyes and laugh out loud at the same time.

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:26 (fourteen years ago) link

how does a man get so much lest trusting of his audience as he gets older...

my guess = did not originally quite conceive of his product as being "for children," was gradually convinced that it was, then later put awkward position of trying to make product that was both "for children" AND "for adult geeks"

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:28 (fourteen years ago) link

interesting theory but mine is that he is a sociopath

goole, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:29 (fourteen years ago) link

hahaha

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:30 (fourteen years ago) link

I think if someone finds an animated GIF of a beardo fucking a gigantic pile of money, you will have a more accurate representation of what was going through Lucas's head

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:30 (fourteen years ago) link

beardo shot first!

Philip Nunez, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean I think of the difference between Star Wars and Ewoks really being the drift from "I am making a sort of B-movie sci-fi fun-action epic" to "I am also part of a newish genre of fantastical entertainment children enjoy, so something should be small and fuzzy"

nabisco, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

animated GIF of an Ewok fucking a pile of C3PO

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link

also what is the difference between these two things, really? weren't B movies like designed for kids, originally for Saturday afternoons at the Bijou?

I am making a sort of B-movie sci-fi fun-action epic" to "I am also part of a newish genre of fantastical entertainment children enjoy,

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:33 (fourteen years ago) link

You know, they could have played the Ewoks exactly as they did and no one would have complained if they'd added scenes with them eating the fallen Stormtrooper clones.

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:35 (fourteen years ago) link

oh man cannibal Ewoks would be golden

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link

i don't think it's cannibalism if ewoks eat humans. just dinner.

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:36 (fourteen years ago) link

I mean I think of the difference between Star Wars and Ewoks really being the drift from "I want to impress and show up my buddies Steven and Francis" to "I rule and want to make more and more shitloads of money and who cares what anybody thinks"

― nabisco, Thursday, July 16, 2009 3:32 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

saddam hoosteen (s1ocki), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:37 (fourteen years ago) link

http://evilewoks.ytmnd.com/

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5XG1nSlxuI&feature=related

now imagine them passing around fingers and munching on them in the midst of this

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

they already have the heads near the beginning of the song, just take that next step and have the human allies kind of afraid of them

suddenly, everything was dark and smelly (HI DERE), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:39 (fourteen years ago) link

http://hawtaction.com/2008/08/20/GeorgeLucas.jpg

mark cl, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link

http://blog.gamer20.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/george_lucas.jpg

mark cl, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link

La-de-da-de-dah
KILL THEM
La-de-da-de-dah
EAT NOW
EAT THE HUMAN SCUM
EAT THE HUMAN SCUMMMMMMM!

"Directed by DAVID LYNCH"

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link

i love those fuzzy bastards

kiddie rabies: attacked by brats (latebloomer), Thursday, 16 July 2009 19:42 (fourteen years ago) link


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