Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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ooh! i finally get to contribute! the first post of this thread always makes me laugh. i don't work full-time, but at my campus job, there's this one guy who asks me out every time I work with him (which, luckily, isn't every shift; he's very fun to work with but it's kind of annoying to have to repeat rejection so many times, really makes me feel like a bitch). recently he got a girlfriend and i was like "oh yay now we can stop being all awkward!" so last time i saw him, he mentioned his girlfriend in conversation twice and then asked me out again! argh. poor girlfriend.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 24 February 2006 03:35 (eighteen years ago) link

ok, when you're peeved that the '100 funniest moments', ended too late, at 12.30pm, you may as well just call it quits and do yourself in right here. i really wouldn't mind.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 12:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I have found out that the reason I'm getting all the phonecalls to the training department bouncing to my phone is because the admin girl there is deliberately logging out of the phone system, so that she only gets personal calls who call her directly rather than, you know, answer the customer enquiries that she is being employed to do.

― armalite roffle (haitch), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:04 (eighteen years ago) link

let's quickly sidetrack the thread for a sec: how would you approach a problem like this? because I have basically had my fill of incompetence from certain people at this organisation. I just think that a) it's appallingly unprofessional and b) it's me who is having my own work disrupted. apparently the management know about it though and haven't done anything?? going and confronting person in question off my own bat, otoh, seems pointless.

― armalite roffle (haitch), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Are you 100% sure that it IS her job to answer these calls? If so, check that management more than 'apparently' know about by speaking to them yourself. Or specifically to her line manager.

Why is it pointless confronting her yourself? Is she a difficult character?

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I'd blind transfer the calls back to her direct extension.

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Good idea.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:41 (eighteen years ago) link

What about a vaguer comment to a manager/tech person about how there seems to be a problem with the phone system?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Open a formal problem report with the administrator of the phone system. "For some reason, all of the training calls are coming to me..? There must be something wrong with the system." Wasting the administrator's time looking into a problem that is caused by someone not doing her job will go a lot farther than you complaining that you have extra calls to answer.

xpost

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:49 (eighteen years ago) link

haha, comments that "there's a problem with the phone system" was how she got found out in the first place!

archel: it's definitely her job. "pointless" - I get the feeling that I would be ignored whereas a manager wouldn't be.

― armalite roffle (haitch), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Tell her conspiratorially that you don't want her to get into trouble so she'd better fix it before Top Brass come round?

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 14:00 (eighteen years ago) link

i have a co-worker with an unbearable laugh which pops up after he tells vaguely sexist jokes. he looks like tv's frank.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 15:12 (eighteen years ago) link

My co-worker is not Catholic, but she is doing (doing?) Lent. She is not Jewish, but she insisted that my place of business put up a Menorah in the lobby with the XMAS trees. She also had one on her desk. She also has a Buddha statue on her desk. She wears a red ribbon on her wrist to ward off evil eye (It doesn't work, I'd know!).

She really irritates me.

― ai lien (kold_krush), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Draw an evil eye on your hand and keep waving to her.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.gm.tv/media/images/david_blane_main.jpg

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

hmmm...ye-e-esssss...

― ai lien (kold_krush), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

ai lien - maybe she's hedging her bets for the afterlife! ;D

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 23:40 (eighteen years ago) link

And haitch: if its any comfort at all, a guy on my old helpdesk at Conn3ct used to pull a similar trick: we were all logged into the helpdesk call pool, but when a call hit his phone, he'd immediately xfer it back to the wait queue. It thus looked like he was still taking calls, so no one twigged for some time, until the stats showed all his calls were 1-2 seconds in length.

He was frogmarched out of the building and fired not long after that.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 February 2006 23:41 (eighteen years ago) link

three things i DON'T want to know about:

yr baby's sportswear
yr baby's poo
yr baby's penis

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Wednesday, 1 March 2006 12:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh God, the endless debate over the rights and wrongs of having a toaster upstairs when downstrairs toaster was removed after upstairs person made toast downstairs and set all the fire alarms off. Followed by the debate over who from upstairs is to blame for thos e downstairs knowing we still have a toaster. Jesus, three months ago everyone was all about giving up wheat.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 1 March 2006 13:37 (eighteen years ago) link

oof, i just got ZINGED.

i work with a dire, racist new zealander; it was pointed out that when our cuntwit colleague ****** leaves i will be the only male in the department. and she cam back 'more like the only girl', presumably because of my slender build and dynamic cheekbones and non-kiwi ways.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:35 (eighteen years ago) link

not from me, but from a friend of mine:

So part of my job is posting finished real estate transactions on a dry-erase board for everyone to see. I do it after I have reviewed the contracts and approved the sale, but some people CAN'T FUCKING WAIT for me to approve the sales, so they write it on the board themselves, which they're not supposed to do.

So this morning, I saw this one sale on the board written in red ink. I promptly erased it, expecting the lady to come in and complain, at which point I would explain to her that I write the names on the board, not her.

Five minutes ago, in she comes.

Her: "Did you erase 999 Fuckmyass Rd. from the board?!"

Me: "Yes, I did. My boss told me that we don't write sales on the board until he and I approve them."

Her: "Well, don't ever do that again. I write my sales in Red on the board, because it symbolizes the blood of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Without Him, none of us would be able to sell real estate."

Me: *stunned*

― wangdangsweetpentangle (teenagequiet), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:39 (eighteen years ago) link

She was kidding, right? Right...?

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"I write sales in black which signifies the devil, who is behind all capitalism. Check."

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

If I ask you what your arbitrary, made-up column title on your matrix means when you want me to tell you what should go against it, it means I DON'T KNOW. Saying "it's the column that used to be other arbitrary, unhelpful, made-up title" like I'm supposed to know what that was SINCE IT'S YOUR MATRIX AND YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T EXPLAIN IT EITHER doesn't make it any clearer.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:48 (eighteen years ago) link

(.. after long discussion about planning & days)
CW: how does 3 + 3 = 5?
Me: because I'm using logic, not formulas. Starting on May 3 + 3 days of work means it finishes on May 5. It's *inclusive.*
CW: I think you have your methodology mixed up.

methinks: You are on a totally different plane.

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Thursday, 2 March 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Constant foot-tapping Kansas-listening no-eye-contact deadly-party-throwing engineer guy from upthread is now MY OFFICE MATE. Truly, this is the point of no return.

― Jaq (Jaq), Monday, 10 April 2006 23:55 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Quote from the director this morning: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the tyranny of numpties"

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 15 May 2006 10:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Leave work on my chair instead of in the inbox? Fuck you you fuckin' fuck.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:16 (seventeen years ago) link

My chair is my inbox :/

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 15 May 2006 12:19 (seventeen years ago) link

please send me no more chain emails of soldiers in iraq holding puppies that say 'break this chain and you will suffer tonight'. you cretins.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 15 May 2006 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

FUCK THAT HSTENCIL GUY

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Monday, 15 May 2006 18:08 (seventeen years ago) link

oh, you're-fired-paws

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 15 May 2006 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

"have you ever seen a picture of the solar system? don't you think it's weird how the water on earth just doesn't fall out?'

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 15 May 2006 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

"i can't help swearing, it's the way I was brought up."

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 15 May 2006 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

"Ugh, Indian people. They all smell."

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 15 May 2006 19:11 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't even understand the 1st one?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 15 May 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

"He won't like that. Change it to something dull"
"Shouldn't we let him not like it first? I think he'll like it"
"No. Something dull."

― stet (stet), Monday, 15 May 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

HAHAHAHAHAH o god, no, really? no. i'm so glad i'm not there tonight.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 15 May 2006 20:39 (seventeen years ago) link

FAMILY GUY QUOTES ALL DAY

― city of gyros (chaki), Monday, 15 May 2006 21:21 (seventeen years ago) link

SERIOUSLY THIS HSTENCIL GUY CAN"T MAKE UP HIS MIND ABOUT WHAT TO LISTEN TO!!!!

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Monday, 15 May 2006 21:30 (seventeen years ago) link

hpencil changed songs. (June Is Finally Here - Don Caballero)
hpencil changed songs. (My Home Is The Sea - Matt Sweeny & Bonnie Pr)
hpencil changed songs. (Esoterica of Abyssynia - Sun City Girls)
hpencil changed songs. (Stuck On You - Rose Tattoo)
hpencil changed songs. (Venus In The Morning - Mayo Thompson)
hpencil changed songs. (sleeping is the only love - Silver Jews)
hpencil changed songs. (A Child's Lullaby - Philip Lynott)
hpencil changed songs. (God's Song (That's Why I Love Mankind) - Ran)
hpencil changed songs. (Instant Archaeology - Sun City Girls)
hpencil changed songs. (Think About Me - Fleetwood Mac)
hpencil changed songs. (Goat And Ram - Matt Sweeny & Bonnie Prince
hpencil changed songs. (Emerald - Thin Lizzy)
hpencil changed songs. (emerald - Thin Lizzy)
hpencil changed songs. (Without Epression - Terry Reid)
hpencil changed songs. (Lost Love Blues (unissued alternate take #2))
hpencil changed songs. (I Have Always Been Here Before - Roky Ericks)
hpencil changed songs. (punks in the beerlight - Silver Jews)
hpencil changed songs. (Stevie (For Steven S.) - Royal Trux)

― JW (ex machina), Monday, 15 May 2006 21:34 (seventeen years ago) link

my co-workers are finding the hypothetical name 'mike hunt' hilarious right now. they've never heard this amazing joke ever before.

― the confusing situation Enrique currently endures (Enrique), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 12:13 (seventeen years ago) link

have they heard mike omicallyunderdevelopedsenseofhumor?

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 12:37 (seventeen years ago) link

my new team leader fell asleep in a meeting with a government client!! thank god it wasn't a meeting for one of my projects, he was good enough to stay awake for those.

― lil' merzbow wow (haitch), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 12:43 (seventeen years ago) link

also the senior programmer basically went on a one-man crusade today to make alterations to the company style guide, which has been in service for several years without complaint, and which he won't ever need to use because he's a programmer.

― lil' merzbow wow (haitch), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 12:46 (seventeen years ago) link

whereas the six people in the organisation who actually create content will have to go through and manually change every occurence of what he wants changed through company documentation and what-not.

oh and now I remember my story about the admin girl who won't answer her phone. I spoke to my old team leader, who went and spoke to the area manager, who then got in a fight with two other managers for 'leaking information' to me!! when it was another manager entirely who tipped us off to the slackarse's ways in the first place.

― lil' merzbow wow (haitch), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 12:52 (seventeen years ago) link

YOUR DREAMS BORE ME

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Thursday, 18 May 2006 11:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Conversation between my boss and me this morning.

Boss “have you seen The Da Vinci code?”
Me “Erm no, i haven't read the book either”
Boss “it’s .......”
Me “like I say, I haven’t seen it”
Boss “oh, sorry.”
Me “right! I’m just going downstairs”

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Monday, 22 May 2006 09:38 (seventeen years ago) link

thankfully, and even in an office as large as mine, there hasn't been one discussion about the da vinci code movie/book yet.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 22 May 2006 09:47 (seventeen years ago) link

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