A Big Bowl of Polish Candy

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (176 of them)

Crabs are pretty good.

Anything made by Roshen will be Ukrainian (former President Petro Poroshenko’s company).

Look for Belochka chocolates in a little green packet with a squirrel on it if you go back.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 11:48 (two years ago) link

I am so, so jealous of you. I had a girlfriend in high school whose parents were both Polish, and they'd bring back these chocolate covered plums from Poland when they'd visit, or find them at a specialty shop in LA. just impossibly delicious. thirty-odd years later I got to go to Poland and the day before flying from there to england I had enough time in Krakow to find a supermarket -- turns out these plums are an old-folks staple sweet at Christmas, and it was early December, so I hit the jackpot. sooooo good.

J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 12:45 (two years ago) link

Would eat a candy called forksclovetofu

Hideous Lump, Tuesday, 13 July 2021 13:09 (two years ago) link

Great thread. That apricot thing sounds fucking amazing.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 15:54 (two years ago) link

For Brooklyn-adjacent people interested in visiting and getting your own haul, here's the address
http://www.kensingtonbrooklynblog.com/2007/11/dans-select-meats.html

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 15:59 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/xomu0zC.jpg
This is very much like the first one that I posted, except that instead of an almond inside it, the apricot has chopped candied cherries on top. I prefer the flavor of this one and the texture of the first one but I will happily take either of these. JCLC, these are clearly the same species as your chocolate covered prunes... which I think I have several of in this pile waiting for me.
8/10, total keeper

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:08 (two years ago) link

Great thread.

Would love to see photos of the unwrapped candies next to the wrapper.

Carlos Santana & Mahavishnu Rob Thomas (PBKR), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:09 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/oYDo8SI.jpg
A thin finger of chocolate-coated fudge with ground hazelnuts mixed into the filling. As with many of these so far, the flavors are strong, the mouthfeel is unctuous and a little goes a long way. Five minutes later, I'm still picking out infinitesimal grains of hazelnut from between my teeth. A bit of diabetic shock in green and nearly worth it.
7/10, needs a warning label to eat no more than half.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:11 (two years ago) link

I will start adding pictures of the candies in the next batch.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:12 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/hlZAkbz.jpg
A small chocolate covered square. When you bite in, it's tri-colored: black currant jelly up top, a thin layer of french marshmallow and a citrus jelly below that. Decent chocolate, distinct flavors for each of the jellies and a nice overall pairing but i'm not much for sheet gelatin treats without the gummy chewability.
6/10, nice if you like that kind of thing

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:22 (two years ago) link

I hope you've got plums in chocolate somewhere in that bowl

Alba, Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:29 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/30PdyNq.jpg
This little foil-wrapped button is the size of a gumdrop. Imagine a big glass jar filled with these! I had assumed this would be something soft and gentle, maybe a simple chocolate bonbon or a caramel. Instead what I got was a thin chocolate coating over a super-dense pink sugar blob of... well, i'm not sure what. Hardened nougat? Dry fondant? Suffice it to say it's hard enough where you can't bite through it with your molars so you have to chip away at it while it dissolves in your mouth. I guess this is meant to keep children busy as a suck toy/choking hazard? Truly a weird and unique candy memory but I dunno about doing this more than twice.
9/10 for the packaging, 2/10 as candy, 7/10 as a one time experience

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:29 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/RiLiOrL.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/F8xqJZE.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/pB9xx6m.jpg

Lazy Cow is a thickly rectangular, chocolate-covered slab of styrofoamish wafers partitioned by thin sheets of supersweet vanilla milk frosting. Outrageously filling and a bit oversweet.
4/10, all-in-all just a bit too much.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:36 (two years ago) link

This is my fav thread rn

not up to Aerosmith standards (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:37 (two years ago) link

Lazy cow looks good to me.

forks, I'm worried for you if you've eaten these all today.

Carlos Santana & Mahavishnu Rob Thomas (PBKR), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:44 (two years ago) link

lol i am definitely done until evening!

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:48 (two years ago) link

is there a nurse standing by

not up to Aerosmith standards (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:50 (two years ago) link

this stuff is distinctly non-FDA approved

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 16:51 (two years ago) link

The gelatin one sounds a lot like those kosher-for-passover chocolate jelly things (which I don't much care for) - know what I'm talking about?

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:12 (two years ago) link

Roshen is a big Ukrainian company fwiw, and I notice some of those have cyrillic letters meaning they are probably not polish.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:32 (two years ago) link

I want the apricot one so bad.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:36 (two years ago) link

These do seem like Ukranian candies rather than Polish ones. But they are next to each other after all.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:39 (two years ago) link

The apricot one looks like Polish.

Also, I looked up Bucuria (the "DoReMi" candy) and apparently it's Moldovan.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:45 (two years ago) link

Yeah, first one is Polish.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:49 (two years ago) link

you're right about the jelly passover candies MA; it's in the same family.

Now I have A Big Bowl of Polish Candy. That's probably not right. Much of it is not Polish, it hails from Moldova or Spain or other places whose name doesn't appear on the label. But for the sake of this exercise, I'm going to consider it A Big Bowl of Polish Candy.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:51 (two years ago) link

(incidentally the apricot treats have chopped walnut inside, not almond; my bad)

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 17:54 (two years ago) link

Great thread. I've seen a few of these in my trips to Atlanta -- the Buford Hwy Farmers Market has a good-sized Eastern European section, including its own deli/cheese/bakery cases. They have most of an aisle of Polish/Ukrainian/Moldovan/Russian/Czech/Belarusian/etc candy and biscuits.

Profiles in Liquid Courage (WmC), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 18:07 (two years ago) link

xp - lol goddamnit, I don't read anymore!

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 18:12 (two years ago) link

Love this thread. This is reminding me of when I was fifteen and on a school exchange in Russia, and they took us on a tour of the Red October candy factory, which seemed to mostly make little bite-size oblong wafer-and-chocolate candies. It was like a kid's fantasy of being let loose in a chocolate factory; you could just reach out and grab chocolates off the conveyor belts. But they cleverly took us past the cheapest, sickliest chocolates first, so that by the time we got to the truly wonderful dark chocolate truffle wafers at the very end, we were all too full of bad milk chocolate to eat more than one or two.

Lily Dale, Tuesday, 13 July 2021 19:04 (two years ago) link

Cant help but notice a lot of this supposed polish candy is clearly of ukranian manufacture

fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 19:51 (two years ago) link

can't believe nobody has mentioned Juggalo candy itt yet

not up to Aerosmith standards (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 19:52 (two years ago) link

If you bought it in America it’s American candy

Clara Lemlich stan account (silby), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 19:52 (two years ago) link

if you bought it in Uruguay is it Uruguay candy or Myuguay candy

not up to Aerosmith standards (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 19:55 (two years ago) link

Now I have A Big Bowl of Polish Candy. That's probably not right. Much of it is not Polish, it hails from Moldova or Spain or other places whose name doesn't appear on the label. But for the sake of this exercise, I'm going to consider it A Big Bowl of Polish Candy.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 13 July 2021 20:57 (two years ago) link

if the first picture is the entirety of the candy you bought am genuinely amazed that 25 dollars got you that amount. seems insanely expensive.

oscar bravo, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 12:13 (two years ago) link

I am so, so jealous of you. I had a girlfriend in high school whose parents were both Polish, and they'd bring back these chocolate covered plums from Poland when they'd visit, or find them at a specialty shop in LA. just impossibly delicious. thirty-odd years later I got to go to Poland and the day before flying from there to england I had enough time in Krakow to find a supermarket -- turns out these plums are an old-folks staple sweet at Christmas, and it was early December, so I hit the jackpot. sooooo good.

Yes, those are classic Polish grandmother treats:

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/j_JzS84k9SB3LXKA-7BEcVyY4zc2ACvYSJ6bq0z5vvM_MNBCCsxAPEEU-vpEyWag7ULpVnd3vtEdzkVrdbZ5TAyb4f18IfGBjQlCu0O4roQnUU0OTnhkTVYwdCpfI4ylhMmE_bX5weZGPSwSauEerVWqHz7ew15Jjfw-FyT_0SpEnDBz8i5sMpIXkLMZXnZpp7WoLXknu3XrE3cU1SY3rU7r82f3zg

Sam Weller, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 14:16 (two years ago) link

damn, my polish grandmother would just give us unwrapped free cookies from the boat casino, claiming she'd baked them.

excellent thread, forks. looking forward to the next surprises. I can't criticize what my kids watch on youtube anymore -- I get it.

seems insanely expensive.

prices range from 10 a pound to 6 a pound so i didn't think it was too pricy? it's imported candy after all!

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 17:56 (two years ago) link

the polish aisle in my local supermarket is a favourite because it's significantly cheaper than english chocolate (and often nicer). polish particularly fond on wafers and coconut things based on the stock there.

tons of polski skleps locally too, but i'm never sure of the vegetarian status of things so...

koogs, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 19:24 (two years ago) link

(UK obviously closer to poland than the US)

koogs, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 19:24 (two years ago) link

I am somewhat addicted to Kucharek Universal Vegetable Seasoning but have never tried Polish sweeties, there are certainly plenty of opportunities to try them here!

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 19:48 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/4DL74lY.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/YtXJ1Dq.jpg
Here's the much requested chocolate covered plums. Well, prunes really but that makes them sound a lot worse than they taste. They do indeed hold up to billing: soft, juicy fruit and reasonable quality chocolate add up to a flavorful and tangy little morsel that anyone would love.
8/10, could definitely see having a small cache of these for visitors.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:00 (two years ago) link

Next time I go to Poland I’m going to have to try the ice cream version:

https://i.postimg.cc/15DSRxNk/BE85-B858-FED5-4-EDF-9-D2-A-9-BC4-EF01402-D.jpg

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:04 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/N2QFBA9.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/wzv6SQe.jpg
The taste of the chocolate-covered Pomawka Poweh soft nougat filling is disarming: lightly floral, as telegraphed by the packaging, but mostly grainy, sugary caramel with a whiff of alcohol on the tail end. It's strong with remarkably long legs and coats your throat like congealed honey.
5/10, might be more into this if I could completely identify the flavor.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:06 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/6o1ep5j.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/mYqCyJn.jpg
The by-now expected thin layer of soft chocolate gives way to a coarse tile of leathery halvah-like substance, a milky and rough slab of dense protein bar. You could probably live on four of these a day.
5/10, north of gross but south of enjoyable.

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:10 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/SgQ9dcA.jpg
Surprisingly delicate lump of puffed rice and nut butter filling in a chocolate-covered puffed rice shell embedded with tiny pellets of crushed nuts. Sort of a peanut butter flavored Ferrero Rocher with a vaguely coconut aftertaste? I'm into it.
7/10, nice find!

Yours in Sorrow, A Schoolboy: (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:14 (two years ago) link

the roshen Pomawka Poweh things are described as

"A Crème Brulee fondant filling with cacao and cognac flavoring coated with a chocolate glaze. Imported from Ukraine."

koogs, Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:18 (two years ago) link

it’s actually “Romashka Roshen”, because Cyrillic - meaning Chamomile Roshen (those Ukrainian candy guys again)

translating the names makes for some interesting results - would you say the name “Ladybug Soufflé” makes the milky and rough slab of dense protein bar above a) more or b) less appetizing?

ten man poland chasing this means hamsik feasts (breastcrawl), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:29 (two years ago) link

The chocolate covered chocolate thing looks pretty good to me.

Carlos Santana & Mahavishnu Rob Thomas (PBKR), Wednesday, 14 July 2021 20:32 (two years ago) link

you can, of course, get nice US-made chocolate

Oh yeah, you can nice US-made anything (or very nearly). I was thinking in terms of the typical, ubiquitous stuff.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:06 (two years ago) link

As for sucre à la crème, yeah, it's blindingly intense and I'm all for it – just not more than maybe twice a year? I'll definitely try Tablet when I get the chance.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:07 (two years ago) link

Anyway my Eastern European candy/chocolate challop which I'm allowed to state point blank is that 95% of them suck and are only worthwhile as exotic artifacts. The desserts are where it's at.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:08 (two years ago) link

absolutely, just want visitors to know it's okay to eat the fancy chocolate lol

isn't Hershey's not technically chocolate or something?

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:09 (two years ago) link

As for sucre à la crème, yeah, it's blindingly intense and I'm all for it – just not more than maybe twice a year? I'll definitely try Tablet when I get the chance.

You'd have to go to Scotland to try it, no-one else is insane enough to make it and feed it to their children.

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:10 (two years ago) link

Proper link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tablet_(confectionery)

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:12 (two years ago) link

I'll be on the lookout for it once I get there – it's a question of when not if.

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:12 (two years ago) link

I've never had Tablet or sucre à la crème but the image in that wiki article looks a lot like burfi, which is the only Indian sweet I really like

rob, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:12 (two years ago) link

tablet sounds like the babyface candy stuff upthread

ILX struggles with Wikipedia links that feature closing parentheses, so you have to copy/paste it.

2xp

pomenitul, Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:13 (two years ago) link

Fuck me, that link doesn't work either. Anyway, you can feel your teeth rot as you eat it etc. Indian sweets are even worse though!

Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 July 2021 21:13 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

Evan ate a bunch of these leftovers and lived to tell the tale

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 01:23 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Indeed! Not so bad. Lots of various waxy textures iirc

Evan, Tuesday, 26 October 2021 16:17 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

I got a bag of wrapped candies from the Swedish company Sockerbit. They’re good! Much better allocation of sugar than the last pile so I can eat a bit more in one sitting without feeling poisoned.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 January 2022 21:41 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/fw6UCGh.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ZrjiAxM.jpg
Gingerbread Caramel - Outrageously strong gingerbread flavor, tastes just like one of the gummyish corners of a tray of fresh gingerbread. Absolutely outrageous, totally delicious. Would eat a pile of these without noticing, probably lucky that I can’t immediately find these for sale on their own on the website. 10/10.

http://i.imgur.com/W5X373Y.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Ql6WNA0.jpg
Fransson’s Polkakola - Peppermint taffy with a slightly creamy flavor and consistency. Nothing exciting but the freshness and natural taste made it a treat. 8/10

http://i.imgur.com/1CVO5Sk.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/UBxIWjd.jpg
Grahn’s BRAVO - Thinner-than-Starburst-sized individually wrapped bits of flavored toffee. The Gräddknäck flavor is vaguely ginger and coffee, the Lakrits is a pungent but not unpleasant licorice and Choklad is exactly what you would expect. The size and relative kick of flavor makes me think that a jacket pocket full of these would be great to have for blood sugar emergencies or to pacify kids… or just me. 7/10

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 January 2022 21:41 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/KZBhpKC.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/lbKKsf7.jpg
Kick Original - Billed as “My Soft Licorice Toffee” on the wrapper, it delivers exactly that. Creamy after chewed and without the tannic leather flavor I associate with lower quality black licorice. It’s not going to win any converts but if you like that flavor, this is a great option. 7/10

http://i.imgur.com/dLVeiBn.jpg
Kolafabriken Lemon Toffee - Harder than many of these other taffies but possessed of a subtle, enjoyable citrus flavor. There’s lots of different flavors, but this is all I had at the moment. 7/10

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 January 2022 21:42 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/txevX5E.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/w7Xq2nx.jpg
Hem-Kola - Starburst-sized wrapped squares of toffee. Hasselnötter original is caramel, Chokolad is chocolate. Both are fine and would easily surpass most of the “original” big bowl but in this company it’s middling at best. 6/10

http://i.imgur.com/YBHcBgW.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/w5Qc27W.jpg
Marianne - Thin white peppermint shell over a chocolate shell for the red ones and over caramel for the blue ones. The blue ones are fine but it’s the red ones I love. The temptation is to crunch these, which makes them into lightly chocolate flavored peppermint candies but trial and error has taught me to breath them as lozenges to suck on. The peppermint is mild and sweet and eventually gives way to a now mostly liquid core of chocolate that gets much more flavorable now that it’s body temperature. I just bought a quarter pound. Blue ones are 6/10, Red ones are 10/10

http://i.imgur.com/bvj1Wjv.jpg
Pim Pim Klubba - Mellow strawberry flavor lollipop. Super-dense candy, not a chewing lollipop but a legit sucker. Not bad, but not the way I prefer to consume candy. 6/10

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 January 2022 21:43 (two years ago) link

does removing this from Poland kill the interest? Who woulda thought.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 20 January 2022 23:23 (two years ago) link

I've a swedish colleague that occasionally brings back marabou bars. The black saltlakrits are particularly great. I've read and enjoyed these updates.

Ssäm Sauce | Martha Stewart (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 21 January 2022 00:03 (two years ago) link

no, this is gold. xp.
always wanted to try maleco pastellfiskar.

The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Friday, 21 January 2022 00:05 (two years ago) link

I find the soft, salty licorice things smell faintly of urine, like the sheep kidneys in Ulyesses

Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 21 January 2022 00:53 (two years ago) link

This thread is great... thank you for sharing these candies.

visiting, Friday, 21 January 2022 01:05 (two years ago) link

i am avoiding the salt licorice stuff tbh; i've tried them once and it was like eating shoe leather in curdled piss. not something I'm looking to repeat.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 01:52 (two years ago) link

lol

but do u like regular black licorice?

bad milk blood robot (sleeve), Friday, 21 January 2022 01:59 (two years ago) link

standard licorice, when either mild or particularly raw anise, is fine by me. That licorice thing upthread was pretty tasty!

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 02:36 (two years ago) link

as long as i have your attention: where can i get grab bags of foreign candies online? Or better yet, buy them for me and then send them to my home. I will eat them for your amusement.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 02:53 (two years ago) link

not sure if they sell samplers tho

bad milk blood robot (sleeve), Friday, 21 January 2022 03:45 (two years ago) link

Not so much. Once Omicron blows over, maybe I can start going to places in the city.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 03:50 (two years ago) link

Polkakola is my favorite name, but I would love to try the Mariannes.

peace, man, Friday, 21 January 2022 12:20 (two years ago) link

my mom got me 6 months of universal yums for xmas and the first month is polish. i haven't opened it yet, though.

towards fungal computer (harbl), Friday, 21 January 2022 12:34 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/MSaBkyc.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/pzTuRKK.jpg

This elegant looking, ballet branded block of candy is sold as kinda premium chocolate and it mostly lives up to the price hike: silky chocolate, ground hazlenuts, no chemical aftertaste or overly harsh sugar flavor. Sort of a milder, richer Ferraro Rocher. 7/10 would eat again but could probably get better for the money.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:04 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/0dAwh1C.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/fs8BcK9.jpg
Another sort of hazelnut whipped, airy chocolate center, somewhat sweeter but without chemical aftertaste. 7/10, good and better than a lot of prior offerings in this thread but a little undistinguished.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:13 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/aesbaPb.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/qvjNHUn.jpg
Chocolate-enrobed lemon creams. As you might imagine from past reports, the lemon is outrageously sweet and somehow creamy. It avoids the dreaded evocative scent of floor wax, but really only barely. Its tastier than I'm giving it credit for but the INTENSITY of the goddamn thing is such that half of one might be a better snack. Eating a whole one (and they're the size of your first pinky knuckle) coats your throat in saccharine citrus. 6/10, a little goes a long way.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:16 (two years ago) link

are you ready for the next one? I wasn't.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:17 (two years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/wtpyXW3.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/F6GFEYF.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ocEAjxm.jpg

At $12 a pound, wrapper and all, the Boletto Premium was the most expensive item in the candy counter and, if not for this thread, I surely would've skipped it. But curiosity set in, so I got one. Imagine my surprise upon opening this treat to discover that the external advertising was all too accurate. This thing looks just like a mushroom and slips out of the cellophane with a pre-moistened glisten of lubrication. Alas, it turns out to be made out of the aforementioned and generally disgusting "bird's milk souffle" marshmallow, a dense and coagulated lump of oversweet hog fat. The "head" is covered in thick milk chocolate and the "stem" is inexplicably crawling with a generous smattering of poppy seeds and then split up the middle. This is presumably to allow for sharing but the effect is near-pornographic. 1/10, everything here is a bad idea and i feel bad for eating the little bit that I did.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:26 (two years ago) link

Oh no.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:27 (two years ago) link

Creamy mushroom souffle, hat covered with chocolate glaze, leg sprinkled with poppy seeds.

Unfolding the wrapper you will see just a 100% copy of this fungus)

Very original design.

A wonderful idea.

Incredibly delicate taste.

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:33 (two years ago) link

I don’t think it’s meant to be sweating like that.

Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:44 (two years ago) link

it was not very inviting

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 23:48 (two years ago) link

IRL LOLs, thanking u

bad milk blood robot (sleeve), Thursday, 17 February 2022 00:18 (two years ago) link

harbl, you need to post pix

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 17 February 2022 01:24 (two years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.