the crimes of george lucas ('90s on)

maybe that was the greatest gift george lucas ever gave us :)

seriously, he's like the most reliable punching bag in cinema history

http://www.icanhasforce.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/star-wars-darth-maul.jpg

what's funny is i do think there is some good shit in II and III (very sporadically in II, mostly when obi-wan is off playing detective on other, weird planets), but it's all trumped by epic fuckups.

I thought the prequels had ruined the originals for me, but when Return Of The Jedi was on Spike I went into childhood nostalgia overdrive even as I groaned through the new CGI and admitted to my star-wars-ignorant gf that "this is really stupid."

the opening sequence of III is pretty great as is the big fight at the end, as long as you forget about monty python

did we bring up darth's NOOOOO in III yet?

ya

http://www.mickeyxtreme.com/images1/news%202005/22705glucasa.jpg

sorry i mean yaaaaaaaaaaaaa xp

what 2 has going for it is that it's better than 1. could never bring myself to watch 3.

2 is worse than 1

although they're both pretty bad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgCGyzABAxM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBsm2HiLubY

how lame is it that he doesn't actually kill her

ok the thing about 1 is that in addition to being terrible it provides absolutely nothing to the story arc. i mean it could literally not exist and you could pick up just fine w/2.

there are some neat visuals in episode ii. i like that rainy clone-maker planet and that harryhausen monster gladiator arena toward the end.

but yeah, the movies are garbage.

This thread is depressing me. I've been living in an OG bubble with my precious memories and was unaware of the extent to which Lucas had totally ruined everything.

2 has some bigger peaks than 1 imo but the valleys are abysmally deep

love scenes between two of the most wooden actors in cinema history in ep. II

yes the clone-maker planet or whatever in II, that's pretty great. everything else i guess is pretty horrible.

i like this picture, because vader is all "NOOOOO" but the emperor is all, "dude, yesssss!!!!"

http://i330.photobucket.com/albums/l436/elc1247/darth_vader_nooo.jpg

i guess all i am saying is that even tho the romantic scenes in 2 are some of the worst ever committed to film, they advance the overall story--more than could be said about anything that happens in 1.

i liked the wookie planet, was that 3? it has some crazy name like kashhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyykkkkkk

not sure if portman is less embarrassing in the star wars prequels or in garden state

wasn't the original Anakin - as in, the one revealed at the end of Jedi - British?

maybe being British is just indistinguishable from being half-robot and not having had sun on your skin in decades

that's what i call pod racing!

Thought Hayden was pretty good in Shattered Glass, and have liked Portman in some things. I hear that Lucas didn't exactly do a lot of takes, or give notes, or etc.

didn't mind dude in shattered glass but he was a toolbar in Jumper and I have yet to see his Dylan

lucas is a closet bressonian

i will never get tired of complaining about these movies

its a way of life

May the farce be with you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDCjIjsZp_Y

i guess all i am saying is that even tho the romantic scenes in 2 are some of the worst ever committed to film, they advance the overall story--more than could be said about anything that happens in 1.

Yeah, I mean: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

immortal dialogue imo

christensen is great in shattered glass but he's supposed to be playing unlikeable

whereas anakin should have SEDUCED the audience with his charms before turning bad... you really should have been onboard with him for like 2.5 of the movies

that would have been awesome. rip childhood :(

he never "turned bad," though, he just sort of had a tantrum and then eventually fell in some lava

um he slaughtered an entire school full of jedi

i think another problem was starting anakin's story when he was a child, i think that all we needed to see was maybe some flashback to him being born and then flash-forward to him as a young adult, skipping all the other shit.

he might as well have huffed off to his bedroom, slammed the door, and then come out Vader the next morning

lol

I find it hard to blame the actors in these fucking movies at all. Yeah Christensen might be a shitty actor (though I'll echo the praise for his performance in Shattered Glass) but Lucas just obviously did not give a shit about the human performances.

This isn't nineties, but I ate this a couple of times as a kid, making faces a lot like the one below:

http://www.thestencil.com/archives/images/cthreeps%20pic.jpg

it was like when butters turned into professor chaos

xpost - haha Que I mean despite the attempt at a drawn-out exposition filled seduction of Anakin to the dark side, he generally just seemed like he got pissy and decided to be bad, there was nothing even resembling like a tragic and conflict-filled change of character

I find it hard to blame the actors in these fucking movies at all. Yeah Christensen might be a shitty actor (though I'll echo the praise for his performance in Shattered Glass) but Lucas just obviously did not give a shit about the human performances

^^^^ Although it does make me wonder if the rumors about the Tom Stoppard polish on Episode Three are true. What good was it if none of the actors knew how to deliver the dialogue?

hahaha "C-3POs -- the breakfast that's both effeminate and contains metal"