The Australian Zeitgeist Tracking Thread

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MASTERCHEF!!!!!!

I'm Australian or some other weird nationality (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 15 July 2009 12:35 (ten years ago) link

Yeah wtf is with everyone masturbating over that cravat wearing git.

Not that Ive seen the show, mind.

Apparently TISM had a spectacular rant about him recently I should go find it.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Thursday, 16 July 2009 04:45 (ten years ago) link

“By Christ, when your life's specialty is forcing another morsel of over-glazed lamb shank down your oily, globular, over-opinionated gullet, when, of all the things in the world men are called to do, of all the vocations of love and adventure,of all the trials of the emotions and amongst all the voyages of spirit mankind can embark upon, when, given this whole universe of possible callings, the one YOU choose is to sit on your crapulent crack and LAZILY WHINE about SOMEONE ELSE’S cooking, that's when YOU KNOW, you are at the very ACME of the BFW shit heap.”

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Thursday, 16 July 2009 04:46 (ten years ago) link

m.pres is a fantastic TV character. would bro down with him before any TISM members, that's for sure!!

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Thursday, 16 July 2009 04:52 (ten years ago) link

i love masterchef and haters can blow me

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 04:53 (ten years ago) link

i mean what are they doing at this point, whining about someone whining about food? certainly don't appear to be making records!

xp ^^ this cat knows what's up

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Thursday, 16 July 2009 04:54 (ten years ago) link

TISM split up in 2004 due to the terminal cancer of their guitarist, and the song Trayce is quoting came out eight years ago.

surm? lol (sic), Thursday, 16 July 2009 05:37 (ten years ago) link

OK so I had no idea it was an old song, I assumed RHB was just having a rant because of masterchef, the dude who posted it on his LJ was misleading dammit.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Thursday, 16 July 2009 06:47 (ten years ago) link

Also let me repeat - I havent seen the show.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Thursday, 16 July 2009 06:48 (ten years ago) link

probably not your thing

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 06:58 (ten years ago) link

Wait, what's wrong with cravats?

I'm Australian or some other weird nationality (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 16 July 2009 07:25 (ten years ago) link

haha sorry if that sounded like i was taking a pop atcha trayce. just thought it was funny that a band that hasn't been active for five years piped up about masterchef of all things!

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Thursday, 16 July 2009 12:05 (ten years ago) link

They didnt! I was misled into thinking they did by a nong on my LJ who said "masterchef is shit and TISM said it best" and then quoted what I pasted.

I love cooking shows fwiw, I'd probably enjoy it! But I dislike reality and vote em offs IMMENSELY, and... really, I know this'll sound snobby but I'm fed up with TV.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Thursday, 16 July 2009 12:32 (ten years ago) link

In actualy fact y'all have misunderstood me really (my fault) - all I was really meaning was "wtf is the huge immense fuss for".

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Thursday, 16 July 2009 12:33 (ten years ago) link

my personal fuss is that it's a good show n i dig watchin it

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 13:20 (ten years ago) link

also pls no offense but yr fedupness about tv is well documented and i'm a bit confused as to why you keep wanting to opine on tv when you don't watch it???

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 13:26 (ten years ago) link

also i am drunk and sassy

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 13:27 (ten years ago) link

sassiest boy in east funswick

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Thursday, 16 July 2009 13:33 (ten years ago) link

loool

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 13:40 (ten years ago) link

hahaha the beer dude got voted out!! it's down to poo and the other one

cymbal is more bronze than you (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 13:47 (ten years ago) link

beep

matt preston's cravat stand (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 14:00 (ten years ago) link

the 'bring me hong kong in a bowl' bit with the wind blowing and all that was so next-level dramatic and hilarious all at once

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Thursday, 16 July 2009 14:06 (ten years ago) link

the man really is a star

matt preston's cravat rack (electricsound), Thursday, 16 July 2009 22:41 (ten years ago) link

Julie The Mum won because her cookbook is gonna sell more than THE DRAGON LADY'S STRANGE ASIAN RECIPE BOOK??

challop matters (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 19 July 2009 13:05 (ten years ago) link

also pls no offense but yr fedupness about tv is well documented and i'm a bit confused as to why you keep wanting to opine on tv when you don't watch it???

Because maybe I was asking "what is the big fuss" so someone could actually EXPLAIN IT TO ME, jesus get some reading comprehension people, not everything I say is a complaint.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Sunday, 19 July 2009 23:24 (ten years ago) link

i fuckin hate that julie the won. she's an absolute idiot!!

also, srsly, does she have parkinson's?

wilter, Sunday, 19 July 2009 23:31 (ten years ago) link

julie the won u__u

wilter, Sunday, 19 July 2009 23:31 (ten years ago) link

julie the won-ton

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Monday, 20 July 2009 02:27 (ten years ago) link

julie the won-ton-tess

wilter, Monday, 20 July 2009 02:28 (ten years ago) link

can i just say, i would eat the hell out of that chocolate plate thing, omg.

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Monday, 20 July 2009 02:33 (ten years ago) link

totes. Gary's whingey 'you've changed me' call at the end about julie was barfffff

wilter, Monday, 20 July 2009 02:38 (ten years ago) link

also the host's tittays last night were her greatest contribution of the season

wilter, Monday, 20 July 2009 02:39 (ten years ago) link

i agree on all this tittays

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Monday, 20 July 2009 02:40 (ten years ago) link

haw

if i read "IT SHOULD BE CALLED MASTERCOOK NOT MASTERCHEF" one more time i'm going to destroy everybody and everything

matt preston's cravat rack (electricsound), Monday, 20 July 2009 02:47 (ten years ago) link

can i just say julie's husband looked kind of shitnuts

wilter, Monday, 20 July 2009 02:50 (ten years ago) link

ppl bitching @ lunch about how britishes masterchef is better. DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

easily-led zeppelin (haitch), Monday, 20 July 2009 03:44 (ten years ago) link

Julie's husband is LURCH!!!

challop matters (King Boy Pato), Monday, 20 July 2009 10:40 (ten years ago) link

hahhh OTM!!

wilter, Monday, 20 July 2009 10:41 (ten years ago) link

eleven months pass...

- Masterchef 2
- 1000 Boat People Taking All Our Jobs (Including The Children)
- A Pub-Style Parma You Can Have At Home

"The Dad" from Gay Dad (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 17 July 2010 09:37 (nine years ago) link

Fucking boat people. Fuck the fucking boat people. Cunts. Fucking come here and drink all our fucking water and live in our fucking houses and take all our fucking jobs and terrorist our fucking things. Cunts. We should blow up their homelands. Oh wait, we already did that. Fucking terrorists. Fuck them abodigines too, cunts. How dare they get here before us? We rightfully came here on boats and exterminated most of them, and now the ones what's left think they own the place. Poverty-line cunts.

http://images.2ue.com.au/2008/08/29/193415/021_2UE_SteveP_424x283-424x283.jpg

bettina arnderpandts (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 09:01 (nine years ago) link

Imagine if they got Steve Price & Andrew Bolt to cook a pub-style parma on Masterchef. That would get FIVE MILLION NASH at least, not even counting Reg or Tas.

"The Dad" from Gay Dad (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 09:06 (nine years ago) link

obv it would be made of terrorist flesh and the coating would be the dandruff of deceased indigenous people.

bettina arnderpandts (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 09:19 (nine years ago) link

btw be sure to watch Dumbo Abbott on the Hey Heys tonight. 1950s man meets 1950s television.

I, ahh, give the, ahh, the Jackson Jive, ahh, a ten (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 09:26 (nine years ago) link

No thanks, I'd rather watch The Human Centipede.

"The Dad" from Gay Dad (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 10:40 (nine years ago) link

This show is a giant Human Centipede. My fucking god. Every two minutes Daryl's gorging himself on Hey Hey clips from the '80s. I presume that at some point he'll develop a sewage-based mouth infection and shit-eat himself to death.

I, ahh, give the, ahh, the Jackson Jive, ahh, a ten (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 11:28 (nine years ago) link

Good luck with giving away the defrosted chickens from Chook Lotto then!

"The Dad" from Gay Dad (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 11:38 (nine years ago) link

With all that bonus salmonella, you know.

"The Dad" from Gay Dad (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 11:38 (nine years ago) link

hey remember when the press conspired to return the worst government in australian history and everyone blamed bill shorten? hilarious

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 June 2019 23:11 (two months ago) link

not having a go at you kbp, just fucked off with the sudden narrative that bill was “”””””unelectable””””””

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 28 June 2019 23:12 (two months ago) link

^^^^^^^ this

also hello COGH, I never forgot you

oh, boy, .GIF! That's where I'm a Viking! (edwardo), Saturday, 29 June 2019 06:30 (two months ago) link

everyone is to blame

(except me)

Tokyo Ghetto Stüssy (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 29 June 2019 13:51 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

The unflushable turd has popped up to bang on about wind farms.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Friday, 19 July 2019 08:19 (one month ago) link

Was about to start a weekly poll on here called "The dumbest, simplistic thing said this week by the mouth breather prime minister" but there's just too many nominations, folks.

Tokyo Ghetto Stüssy (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 20 July 2019 01:48 (one month ago) link

Just start a rolling thread

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Saturday, 20 July 2019 01:50 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

Fuck this tepid labor shower of shites. When even the liberal party can find room for a real live communist it’s time to stop vacillating on the progressive issues of the day. Some of the damper parts of Queensland are on fire and you’re still worried about pissing of the knuckle staggers in the bush.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 00:57 (six days ago) link

The policy of capitulation-but-worse doesn't even make electoral sense. You're going to spend three years standing up for homophobia and police states and fracking and complaining that the concentration camps aren't harsh enough, in order to... win over 3.2% of LNP voters? While somehow assuming that you're not going to lose a massive chunk of your regular voters?

Abbott got in by relentlessly spending eight hours a day, six days a week sledging a government that was actually doing pretty well and passing lots of decent legislation. Perhaps you might motivate people by deciding to be in opposition, and talking about how the govt are doing horrible things that will destroy individuals' lives and the ecosystem? Just an idea!

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 01:38 (six days ago) link

Appeal to farmers by talking every fucking day about how climate change is going to fuck them sooner and worse than everyone else.

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 01:39 (six days ago) link

What the fuck is the ALP for. They'd rather vote against anything worthwhile on the basis that the Green support it than actually stand for anything.

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 01:41 (six days ago) link

i have all but stopped paying attention to all politics since the election. we have no control, bigots and fuckheads have corrupted democracy, and the country is too fucking stupid to see any of this. it’s over. australia is over.

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 02:02 (six days ago) link

fuckheads have corrupted democracy

stopped-clock peripatetic PM Kev07 citing the Nine absorption of Fairfax as the death of free media in the country in a lecture about Murdoch

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 04:08 (six days ago) link

he’s our best ally right now

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 04:35 (six days ago) link

I feel like our governments are just running the clock down, concentrating on making as much money as possible while waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 05:42 (six days ago) link

that smug fucking head is THEE number one reason i refuse to watch leanback fta television under any circumstances

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 06:12 (six days ago) link

i refuse to be ambushed by neonazis on a daily basis tyvm

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 06:13 (six days ago) link

You're going to spend three years standing up for homophobia and police states and fracking and complaining that the concentration camps aren't harsh enough, in order to... win over 3.2% of LNP voters? While somehow assuming that you're not going to lose a massive chunk of your regular voters?

Thing is, Labor bet (not entirely irrationally) on votes lost to the left trickling back to them via preferences in most federal lower house seats. (Melbourne being the most reliable exception recently.) Greens first-preference votes, for example, end up in the Labor pile after distribution some 90% of the time. (That was Antony Green's estimate recently.) Labor may ridicule Green (et al) voters but they know they're unlikely to preference LNP over Labor any time soon no matter how underwhelming they are.

It's luvly that we can at least now let our senate preference exhaust without any risk of inadvertently helping install either Labor or LNP in the lower house. (After electoral changes vigorously opposed by Labor, naturally.)

Nag! Nag! Nag!, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 06:54 (six days ago) link

Er, "install either Labor or LNP in the UPPER house" rather.

Nag! Nag! Nag!, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 06:56 (six days ago) link

don't even know how fucking shit this country has gotten, I mean, it's more fucking shit than ever *and* it's going up in flames

anyway here's Chris Uhlmann taking photos of public toilets

Tokyo Ghetto Stüssy (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 11:32 (six days ago) link

I mean, you see stuff like this, https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/sep/10/australians-increasingly-fear-climate-change-related-drought-and-extinctions

and you think, well, they're not THAT concerned because they keep voting in the same coal shills and even then the ALP are a bunch of pissweak cunts when it comes to taking a stand on the environment

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Thursday, 12 September 2019 00:42 (five days ago) link

They fear its effect on coastal property values while declining to take any action that would impede them from driving around in large plastic living rooms and renovating their houses with acres of giant cream tiles and cement render.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 12 September 2019 01:18 (five days ago) link

Good things about Australia in 2019:

1. Baby John Burgess' Twitter account
2. Um, that's about it

Tokyo Ghetto Stüssy (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 12 September 2019 11:27 (five days ago) link

Oh, well, a whole bunch of those National-voting fuckwits are about to run out of water. I guess it's possible they MIGHT realise voting against protecting the land you rely on because the bigot arguing to destroy it is wearing an akubra is not a long-term plan for success.

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Monday, 16 September 2019 00:14 (yesterday) link

There might be a fatal flaw in this hang the environmental impact studies and let’s build more dams strategy - if it doesn’t fucking rain.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 16 September 2019 00:42 (yesterday) link

Also stop growing cotton.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 16 September 2019 00:42 (yesterday) link

We need Fran Kelly back on RN Breakfast. McCormac should not have been allowed to get away with his 'Fuck the Frogs, dig the dams and the rain will magically appear schtick'.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 16 September 2019 04:03 (yesterday) link

I'm pretty sure farmers more than anyone are well aware of climate change and its looming problems, theyre not stupid. But yes, why the fuck we grow cotton or rice in this country I dont know.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 16 September 2019 04:23 (yesterday) link

Oh, well, a whole bunch of those National-voting fuckwits are about to run out of water. I guess it's possible they MIGHT realise voting against protecting the land you rely on because the bigot arguing to destroy it is wearing an akubra is not a long-term plan for success.

just imagine how much worse it’d have been under labor! JUST IMAGINE

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 16 September 2019 05:39 (yesterday) link

The current lab hand-wringing and vacillating makes me worry that their policy might be to wear a different coloured akubra hat.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 16 September 2019 05:40 (yesterday) link

“sure, hitler started the second world war, but just imagine how much worse labor would have been!!!!!!!” <cry-wanks over a photo of john howard>

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 16 September 2019 05:41 (yesterday) link

(godwin can get fucked, we are at that point now)

times 牛肉麵 (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 16 September 2019 05:42 (yesterday) link

that’s a bit harsh given how Godwin has been tweeting for the last two years

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 16 September 2019 06:15 (yesterday) link


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