I LOVE NFL DOUCHEBAGS ROSTER: PART I, ED HOCHULI

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Seriously the horsecollar he just threw was nonnnnnsense, and I'm saying that as a gints fan.

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 04:04 (twelve years ago) link

I'm not watching anymore but I'll take your word on it cuz horsecollar calls always seem to be wrong either way. also the brandon jacobs thing was bullshit, but I don't really blame him for the bullshitness of the rule.

get yr coat luv uve jes bin pulld (Adrian Langston), Monday, 13 November 2006 04:08 (twelve years ago) link

Well in fairness they also called a bullshit "celebration" call on the Bears a few minutes ago because the interceptor shook his ass for approximately 2.5 seconds. I'm not sure how the word "fairness" works in there but there you have it.

THIRD MONIMATION OF THE DOUCHEBAGS: TOM COUGHLIN

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 04:32 (twelve years ago) link

at any rate the guy makes so many "ehhh?" calls it makes the game seem dirty and fake and not cool, both coaches are guaranteed to get infuriated with his shit every time; I understand that might be the definition for some of a "good ref" but for me I figure well enough if you just let things go and be RIGHT on the calls that matter instead of doing yr absolute hardest to be a rulebook prick.

cf. Urlacher getting away with slapping dude after the whistle, fuck this, you know?

LISTEN U TURBO CROUTON (TOMBOT), Monday, 13 November 2006 06:09 (twelve years ago) link

also frankly that fumble thingamabob SHOULD HAVE GONE FOR THE BEARS
the knee was clearly on the dirt
guy SUCKS
fucking A.

LISTEN U TURBO CROUTON (TOMBOT), Monday, 13 November 2006 08:17 (twelve years ago) link

Dude what are you even talking about anymore?

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Monday, 13 November 2006 15:26 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

can't believe this didn't get a revive last night.
collinsworth's explanations were worthy of a presidential campaign

TOMBOT, Monday, 15 September 2008 16:33 (eleven years ago) link

http://views.washingtonpost.com/theleague/ratetherefs/2008/09/fumbling-the-call.html

That Ref should die slow

POSTED BY: MIGUEL | SEPTEMBER 15, 2008 9:06 AM

celebrated pop troubadour Stefan Dennis (Roberto Spiralli), Monday, 15 September 2008 16:36 (eleven years ago) link

collinsworth's explanations were worthy of a punch in his fucking smugass baseball announcer wannabe face. why do they keep letting this guy talk when olbermann and patrick are sitting right there next to him, available and ready for talking??

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 15 September 2008 16:39 (eleven years ago) link

also just as a general commentary, hochuli isn't looking quite so buff this year. age comes to us all, and makes us saggy. lol @ hochuli's hanging underarm skin.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 15 September 2008 16:42 (eleven years ago) link

also, as another general commentary, i cannot bring myself to care at all about this, given the amount of horrible calls that happen every fucking sunday that no one cares about. no accountability! omg but norv turner is angwy so now we should give a shit? ;_;

whatever! i mean jesus you guys were the ones that gave up 500 points prior to that play, get over yourselves.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 15 September 2008 16:48 (eleven years ago) link

but i assure you: it would NOT be a norvteam (tm) if they had a defense w/ any sac.

j.q higgins, Monday, 15 September 2008 17:20 (eleven years ago) link

Hochuli has always been the "darling" of the NFL because of his rugged, all-American looks.

dude needs his own fathead

brownie, Monday, 15 September 2008 17:21 (eleven years ago) link

Was Norv supposed to say "hey no worries". It's not like he has a reputation as a firey guy. I think he would have been crucified if he didn't say something.

Also, AFC championship game last year. Just sayin'.

polyphonic, Monday, 15 September 2008 17:22 (eleven years ago) link

I thought it was peyton who had a sac removed, and the chargers d was just missing two or three ligaments

TOMBOT, Monday, 15 September 2008 17:23 (eleven years ago) link

i noticed that in another big game that ldt was nowhere to be found. seems like he has some a-rod in him. so to speak.

chicago kevin, Monday, 15 September 2008 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

ade still OTM

Norv has every reason to be pissed, but that's why they call 'em "road games"

rogermexico., Monday, 15 September 2008 17:52 (eleven years ago) link

you guys are absolutely retarded if you read my comment as "norv turner had no right to be irritated over this call" and not "i don't give a shit about this call considering the fact that hochuli makes horrible calls every second he is on a football field, and i don't see why you should, either"

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 15 September 2008 18:01 (eleven years ago) link

hi tombot are you rooting for the jaguars or what?

horseshoe, Monday, 15 September 2008 18:31 (eleven years ago) link

I LOVE NFL DOUCHEBAGS ROSTER: PART II, DEION SANDERS

^^^shall i start this thread?

horseshoe, Monday, 15 September 2008 18:36 (eleven years ago) link

except i mean it. i love him.

horseshoe, Monday, 15 September 2008 18:37 (eleven years ago) link

I have yet to venture out to a joint what has sunday ticket, for fear of ultra-liver-damage GET, so really no I haven't been exactly rooting for the jags. perhaps if I can watch them play, ever, they will win?

El Tomboto, Monday, 15 September 2008 18:50 (eleven years ago) link

i have to go to the bar to watch the Bills play, and I find that if i start with a bloody mary i end up drinking less! except this season the Bills are all winning and stuff so there are rounds of shots like every quarter. looks like that is not a problem for Jacksonville fans thus far, tho lol.

horseshoe, Monday, 15 September 2008 19:54 (eleven years ago) link

Jacksonville fans break out their Foot Locker credit cards at halftime.

Pleasant Plains, Monday, 15 September 2008 20:06 (eleven years ago) link

horseshoe, do you still go to delilah's to watch the game?

chicago kevin, Monday, 15 September 2008 20:08 (eleven years ago) link

yeah! <3 that place.

horseshoe, Monday, 15 September 2008 20:10 (eleven years ago) link

you guys are absolutely retarded if you read my comment as "norv turner had no right to be irritated over this call" and not "i don't give a shit about this call considering the fact that hochuli makes horrible calls every second he is on a football field, and i don't see why you should, either"

I thought I was agreeing with that, except for hochuli's really not that bad. As a victim of some spectacularly bad calls (Andre Reed vs. Mike Carey 9/2/98 NEVAR FORGET), I'm not sure why Jints fans feel entitled to specific hochuljihad.

In fact, Broncos fans are at least as entitled, which may be why this is the first Broncos game he's officiated in SEVEN YEARS!

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?columnist=sando_mike&id=3462384

rogermexico., Monday, 15 September 2008 20:13 (eleven years ago) link

(btw that's 1/2/98 obv but it seemed a little weak without the 9)

rogermexico., Monday, 15 September 2008 20:13 (eleven years ago) link

....

ok seriously dude what is wrong with you that you think that giants fans feel "entitled" to specifically hate this dude, i was under the impression everyone except for bob costas and a mr. "adrian langston" hated this dude.

can we do douchebags part III: http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=9330

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 15 September 2008 20:29 (eleven years ago) link

fwiw i don't even remember the giants play being referred to in the top portion of this thread -- i've basically always thought this dude was a whorebaby.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 15 September 2008 20:30 (eleven years ago) link

can we do douchebags part III: http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=9330

There's low, and then there's that shit. Note that Pennsylvania is a critical swing state.

rogermexico., Monday, 15 September 2008 21:35 (eleven years ago) link

[quote]I was about to say ARE YOU GUYS HIGH but then i remembered "giants fans lmbo"

he's the best ref in the league, seriously. he explains shit as well as anyone, he does a good job, and he's like the only ref who DOESN'T come off as a huge dbag. anyway this is the worst football i've seen all year (both teams), and i watched an oakland game too.

nfl all-dbag team captains: fucken fagets on the giants who keep doing that "ballin" shit

― get yr coat luv uve jes bin pulld (Adrian Langston), Sunday, November 12, 2006 11:01 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark[/quote]

lol ok i was clearly the one who was high

cankles, Monday, 15 September 2008 23:33 (eleven years ago) link

wtf happened to the quote tags

cankles, Monday, 15 September 2008 23:33 (eleven years ago) link

hochuli to be graded down

omar little, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 00:48 (eleven years ago) link

[quote]also, as another general commentary, i cannot bring myself to care at all about this, given the amount of horrible calls that happen every fucking sunday that no one cares about. no accountability! omg but norv turner is angwy so now we should give a shit? ;_;

whatever! i mean jesus you guys were the ones that gave up 500 points prior to that play, get over yourselves.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, September 15, 2008 12:48 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark[/quote]

this is also otm though i dont understand why anyone ever cares about blown calls, i mean i guess it sucks if it happens to ur team but still *shrug* ¯\(°_o)/¯

cankles, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 01:09 (eleven years ago) link

yeah, totally. football outsiders are always bitching about blown calls in their audibles. it's annoying.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 01:10 (eleven years ago) link

blown calls are about 87% of the game is the thing. it's fun to be angry about them when they happen but if yr the type of dude who holds a long-time grudge over ONE CALL (coughcoughseattlefanscough) i mean...don't you have some laundry to do or something? i care when it happens and then immediately forget, unless they're particularly L.O.L.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 16 September 2008 02:46 (eleven years ago) link

i can see why coaches bitch about them, i mean their livelihood is riding on the outcome of the games but any fan who has seen more than four games should realize there are at least three blown calls a game, right? who the fuck can bitch about it if you aren't drawing a salary from the nfl in some way?

chicago kevin, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 02:48 (eleven years ago) link

situations like sea-pit are the only time i will make a special dispensation, just because there's no way you can 'even out' calls blowing a superbowl. but i mean they still lost fair and square tho so w/e!!!

cankles, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 03:05 (eleven years ago) link

I liked the thing with Cutler after the game. He was like 'I haven't seen it but oh yeah, it was a fumble' very nonchalant.

earlnash, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 03:13 (eleven years ago) link

that is the thing, it is pretty rare that a call is so heinous that it actually costs a team a game, and you can make the argument that even in those situations, no team worth its gatorade should be in a situation where one single bad call would cost them a victory (ie the whole "if the bills were so great, then they shouldn't have been kicking that field goal anyway" argument that my dad loves to use whenever i say "the bills should've won that game").

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 16 September 2008 14:35 (eleven years ago) link

no team worth its gatorade should be in a situation where one single bad call would cost them a victory

Someone put this on a wood-carved sign for the clubhouse bathroom (to hang next to the Harley calendar).

Even if SD got fucked by Hercules (who I thought was A-OK as a ref, tho I never really noticed anything besides his guns) and malfunctioning replay equipment, they should've, at the very least, been able to stop a 2-point conversion attempt that, from what I could tell, looked EXACTLY LIKE the play that scored the TD. (I think I repeated what's already been said, but fuck it.)

Can't wait for the totally justified Cutler hype to reach Farve levels of fun.

David R., Tuesday, 16 September 2008 15:41 (eleven years ago) link

Even if SD got fucked by Hercules (who I thought was A-OK as a ref, tho I never really noticed anything besides his guns) and malfunctioning replay equipment, they should've, at the very least, been able to stop a 2-point conversion attempt that, from what I could tell, looked EXACTLY LIKE the play that scored the TD.

OTM. I can't believe that Hochuli getting "graded down" has been a front page ESPN story for two days now. He's a good ref. It was a bad call. I saw 2 or 3 other calls in Week 2 that were just as bad (though not in similarly game-breaking situations).

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:01 (eleven years ago) link

i openly lol'd when i saw the "graded down" announcement during last night's arena football game. it's like oooh demerits, does he go to detention too?

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:05 (eleven years ago) link

They should make him officiate the Area bowl next year ("The Wild Thunder have chosen to accept the opening kickoff").

brownie, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:16 (eleven years ago) link

Arena

brownie, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:16 (eleven years ago) link

oh, good; i was worried the Steelers-Browns game killed you, brownie!

horseshoe, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:17 (eleven years ago) link

I lost power at 6:30pm on sunday and probably won't have it back for the rest of the week.

brownie, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:19 (eleven years ago) link

oh no! because of the storm? that sucks!

horseshoe, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:20 (eleven years ago) link

yeah, you should've seen me scrambling like Stabler to watch the game.

brownie, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 16:21 (eleven years ago) link

could we have a thread like the one I started on ILG to list the major offenders in sports bloggerdom? I mean at least that way the complaints all stay in one place

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:10 (eleven years ago) link

take nominations in the postseason, and run a poll that closes super sunday

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:10 (eleven years ago) link

send the winner an e-mail virus that curses his bloodline forever

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:11 (eleven years ago) link

i have come to hate bill simmons, if he counts as a sports blogger

omar little, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:13 (eleven years ago) link

i like Bill Simmons. i used to be ambivalent but the more other people dislike him, the more i am moved to embrace him. i don't understand the hate, but then i am in Boston so maybe i wouldn't.

for mash get Smash (Roberto Spiralli), Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:15 (eleven years ago) link

tombot that's what my S&D futbol writing thread was meant for! also to point out to good stuff, but mostly to pile on the awful shit.

cankles, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:19 (eleven years ago) link

I just revived an old piss-and-moan blog thread per Tom's request. I'd prefer to keep the OMG AWESOME accolades far away from the FUCK YOU ASSHOLE complaints, but that's just me.

David R., Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:21 (eleven years ago) link

sounds good; your thread title is better anyway

cankles, Tuesday, 16 September 2008 20:23 (eleven years ago) link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/16/SWSL07_SP.jpg

forksclovetofu, Thursday, 18 September 2008 17:56 (eleven years ago) link

"Everything Ed" Message Board:
http://www.nfl85.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=2&sid=23e4e99c4549376400920635def70013

forksclovetofu, Thursday, 18 September 2008 17:59 (eleven years ago) link

why is that light coming from his buttocks?

Every Day Jimmy Mod Is Hustlin' (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 19 September 2008 00:05 (eleven years ago) link

Make that pic into a fathead and watch fathead profits soar like an Dawkinsesque eagle.

brownie, Friday, 19 September 2008 00:13 (eleven years ago) link

I can see SD fans being mad about the call, but they still gave up the TD on FOURTH down and then gave up a TWO POINT CONVERSION. Sometimes you got to nut up and just deal, criminy its week two not the AFC title game. You get the Broncos back at home in a few weeks.

earlnash, Friday, 19 September 2008 01:06 (eleven years ago) link

"Get him, my tiny Darren!"

El Tomboto, Friday, 19 September 2008 01:32 (eleven years ago) link

things blowing me away at this exact moment:

a.) the existence of the "everything ed" messageboard
b.) the overwhelming popularity of said messageboard
c.) http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/riversface.jpg

cankles, Friday, 19 September 2008 02:41 (eleven years ago) link

^OMG @ c).!!!!!!!!!

johnny crunch, Friday, 19 September 2008 02:50 (eleven years ago) link

lol where's his cape

Radiant Flowering Crab (Rock Hardy), Friday, 19 September 2008 03:13 (eleven years ago) link

yeah the rivers face in that pretty much makes the whole post

YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBODDDDAAAYYY!!

TOMBOT, Friday, 19 September 2008 03:26 (eleven years ago) link

is riversface a documented condition? like reche eyes?

j.q higgins, Friday, 19 September 2008 13:59 (eleven years ago) link

yeah, it's a terrible condition called douchebaggery.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 19 September 2008 14:44 (eleven years ago) link

it actually looks like he's trying for a job as bob's big boy spokesman.

http://michaelwitzel.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/bobs-big-boy-statue.jpg

j.q higgins, Friday, 19 September 2008 17:22 (eleven years ago) link

i was thinking more: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/146/401158444_2173264a14.jpg%3Fv%3D0

forksclovetofu, Friday, 19 September 2008 17:25 (eleven years ago) link

bleh, I mean http://liammitchell.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/stay-puff-marshmellow-man-film1.jpg

forksclovetofu, Friday, 19 September 2008 17:26 (eleven years ago) link

the stay-phil riversmallow man

forksclovetofu, Friday, 19 September 2008 17:26 (eleven years ago) link

Phil Rivers is the best.

polyphonic, Friday, 19 September 2008 17:51 (eleven years ago) link

like, compared to what and/or who?

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 19 September 2008 18:11 (eleven years ago) link

He completes me.

polyphonic, Friday, 19 September 2008 18:30 (eleven years ago) link

He completes my fantasy team... high hopes for stay-phil this year!

forksclovetofu, Friday, 19 September 2008 18:38 (eleven years ago) link

good call on the marshmallow man.

j.q higgins, Friday, 19 September 2008 22:06 (eleven years ago) link

nine years pass...

cu ed

man this thread is an artefact of another time

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 6 March 2018 20:27 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

Man, what the fuck happened to I Love NFL? This place used to be fun.

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:15 (one year ago) link

i’d say the answer is lack of love for the nfl.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 22:00 (one year ago) link

otm

i didn't watch a single game last season or the season before.

i still mod this place, but just for comedic purposes.

omar little, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 22:08 (one year ago) link

NFL’s more popular than ever wtf you drips.

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 22:54 (one year ago) link

i meant among the ilx posting community bro

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 23:14 (one year ago) link

cad is bored of winning and i guess snrub never gets tired of losing

mookieproof, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 23:24 (one year ago) link

and I live in Los Angeles

omar little, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 23:31 (one year ago) link

i stopped watching football

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Wednesday, 4 April 2018 01:16 (one year ago) link

winning rules; if i didn't follow a winning team i'd have been out ages ago. football is a fantastic game that is totally unsafe to play, and the nfl is a shitty institution. i don't love the fact that i still pay attention to it.

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 4 April 2018 01:25 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

ed hochuli was in my dream last night

he was reffing a college game because he missed the action

no idea why i would dream this; i watch even less college football than i do nfl

mookieproof, Thursday, 26 July 2018 20:35 (one year ago) link


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