Worst TV adverts of the moment

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WICKEEEEED!! SOOOORRRRTEEEED!! BANGIIIIINNN!! BACK TO THE OLD SKOOOOOOOOL!! (cue Yazz.)

Alternately, that car ad where the teacher yaks on about how she will be there for the kids, doctors deliver babies ect... because Something Inside Is So Strong. So buy a fucking car.

Al, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

All the Red Bull ads. Every single one.

Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

the FedEx one where they poach the ambulance man to work for them is pretty tasteless. i presume it was made for the US originally, where they don't have the NHS which needs all the help it can get

michael, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't like the Orange one with Jason Euell - eventhough he is scoring and celebrating against Arsenal. I hope everybody who watched the Arsenal v Charlton match said the same thing when he scored, namely "I wonder if he's going to run out of the ground and go and find his mate?"

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I really hate that one for Ocean Finance with the smug quiz-show host asking the contestants, "For ten points, tell me a reason why somebody might be.....refused....a loan?" I find it really irritating the way that the word "Advertisement" appears on the screen in the top left hand corner throughout...as if there would ever be a quiz show with questions about loans! Aaargh!

MarkH, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Head and Shoulders advert where the ad agency honestly think the shampoo buying public are going to be duped into believing they're talking about infidelity and shagging when really they're speaking about shampoo. I mean, since when has anyone been "seduced by the novelty" of an alternative hair product? Come on!

The whole Shampoo = sex thing is utterly cringeworthy. The only "urge" I get during the Herbal range ad is to dive for the off button on the TV remote.

[And I wish Jason Euell HAD ran out of the stadium on Wednesday - I would have settled for 4:3]

Trevor, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Halifax one where the woman does a doctored version of 'Livin' la vida loca' *shudders*

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The two blokes watching a Nivea ad in the Nivea ad! Who on earth came up with this? And who on earth paid them to come up with this? Also, there's first love and there's Muller love. The guy eats his yoghurt with a polaroid fer crissakes. Can you imagine the chemical- induced madness that must surely ensue?

Somebody on the best ads thread mentioned the Lupo ads, but the big flashing face that pops up every time you click on *anything* at nme.com is really, really, really, really, really, really, really annoying. Grrr!

Madchen, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The one that gets my goateee is the man who has hung up about ten blue shirts on the clothesline, then reaches into the basket for another blue shirt an sais it's his favorite.Lol He's nuttier than me!!!! lol Gale

Gale Deslongchamps, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Vodafone. The Dandy Warhols. That smug faced curmudgeon bloke who wandered about the desert before they took the next step into hellishness. The crusties. Their adverts when sponsoring POP IDOL with ha ha look it is HAMPSTERS making things BEEP (actually sounds okay) but this is NOT okay when it is advertising their cnutish BRAND NAME WEBSITE of vizzaavviitytytutwankwankwankwankOHPLEASE. They are DOT COMMUNISTS.

Also, Argos.

The Virgin Mobile advert with Nicole Appleton photocopying her knickers is also rather shit but then again they have ADAM AND JOE (!!!!) on another advert so perhaps I'll have to sign up with them. I hate Vodafone. Bastards bastards bastards. Adverts are SO GREAT though, I love adverts. They are often better than the telly.

Sarah, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Hi Sarah! Adverts are better than the programmes that frame them because more time and money went on them!

Wil, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Sponsorship idents: all shit. I only ever watch commercial TV on a saturday morning so that is all I can talk of BUT two stand out for me as Pete can testify:

1. Argos christmas ad using Slade and the cheapest, shittest, most fucking awful bogus product montage ever. Totally moronic, makes all the goods look like the heap of crap they are - when that fucking cut- out Santa comes by on his skis it might as well be Jive Bunny. There's a real trend lately for mass-market store ads to be this low- rent and vile, probably because the ad people all want to work on high-budget drinks brands and actually lavishing any skills on an ad aimed at the proles would be *so* uncool. Or of course it might be that the focus groups saw the ad and wuvved it, grr.

2. Harry Potter computer game - "FOOTAGE NOT IN GAME" i.e. the game itself has graphics that would shame an Oric. Not in itself a terrible ad but seen five times an hour it gets wearying.

Also! "I'd rather have a bowl of caramelflavouredcocopops" and the Olly the Octopus choosing his cereal are vile, the latter because it is untrue - every child knows which are the nice cereals in a variety pack and it's simply a matter of getting to them first, it's not a dilemma at all you eight-limbed sea bastard.

Tom, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'You're every one to one you've ever had' DIE GOLDFRAPP DIE.

alext, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I get so depressed when I watch ads on the smaller channels like ITV2 - they are invariably all for loans for sad, stupid people with no jobs and no money, somehow implying that rather than ending up with even less money and self-esteem, taking out a loan is the key to happiness! Celebs who do voice overs for these kind of ads (and I know the bloke who does that fucking blue telephone - how could he stoop so low?) are, IMHO, worse than those who advertise MacDonalds, Starbucks, any of the mega-corporate Incs that people seem to get so worked up about.

As for the Nivea "you know, I might buy some" ad, you can gain some kind of succour by imaging what he's going to be getting for Christmas from all his hilarious mates...

Mark C, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

oh the parade is offering me many bad ads. the lottery one with a parade of people singing the barenaked ladies' 'if i had a million dollars' is a v bad one.

BUT WAIT NOW THERE IS ONE FOR AMERICA WITH THAT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HERO SONG. oh no wait it's for jeep! jeep LIBERTY, at that!

maura, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

They have a gospel choir in the Lottery ad. Morons should read the bible .

anthony, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I have sky, there's no need to watch adverts.

chris, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Like Samantha, I'm not very good at remembering the ads I hate. I will put a pen and pad by the TV and make a note.

Can I just say that I think the Argos ads are totally wicked.

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

That fuckin coke ad. I mentioned it before. The one where the guy is on the train and all his "mates" are asleep and he's drinking a can of coke, and he says "it was the best night of my life". "I was gonna miss these guys". And the way he says "these guys" like as if theres a coloured history, and they're some bunch of mad tossers who do crazy stuff but despite it all he was going to miss them. Oh the things they do! Falling asleep on trains, AND drinking coke.

Then at the end of the ad there's the final insult, that annoying high pitched "life tastes good coca cola" jingle. It reminds me of those films where one corporation runs the radio stations and keeps pumping out muzak to keep people happy. it's ok everyone, LIFE TASTES GOOD!!! and you're all allowed to try it!

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The Argos ads are pitched perfectly at target market = 'good' ads, even though I personally dislike them.

Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.

Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah - I'm surprised no one has mentioned the horror of the Dorritos 'friends' adverts yet. Has that reached Ferrero Rocher/Alanis Morisette levels of flogged to deathness or something?

Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I make conscious efforts not to buy things if I think the ads are stupid. though I fail.

Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The smug-faced wankism that is Archers. Stop fucking winking at me you bastard I hate you and will punch you, and oh hahaha isn't it so funny that the girl stays out later than him because she drinks Archers hahaha I bet her and the Lambrini girls love each other the stupid fucking wenches.

emil.y, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Did you say urge? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

george foreman's imac grillpan thing, WHAT THE FUCK IS ThAT!!!! "it's like a grill pan", okay, "it's ridged so you don't get as much fat in your food" riiiight "it's got a pretty coloured lid and it cooks both sides at once" okaaaaaaaaaay "george foreman say's it's really GRATE" WTF, GEORGE FOREMAN, cognitive dissonance, brain MEEEELLLLLTTTIIIINNNGG....

carsmilesteve, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

the RETURN OF THE GRILL-SHILL!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

1 Bacardi Breezer. It is undignified for a cat to be seen behaving like a cheap male nightclub smoothie.

2 The fabric conditioner one where the people are made out of - duh - fabric. It is disturbing to look at 'people' made out of fabric, and in fact they look horribly disfigured, like burns victims or people with hypothermia.

Ellie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

i mean GRILL SHILLAZ !!!

mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't stand those crappy Dani Behr McDonalds Premiere advert. They make me want to hurt Dani Behr more than usual.

(I really like those Argos adverts - they cool)

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

helen fordsdale, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

Blimey, isn't it usually the other way round?

jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

LAMBRINI GIRLS ARGH.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

(though they oppress me from posters not the telly)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Another hated poster ad - what do these people have in common they all drink portugese wine (or something, I do not know what horrible drink they all drink all I know is that it's yet another poster with Tony Parsons gazing at me, best selling author yes)

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

That German wine ad is shit as well. The one with that ex-goth lass who now is a city worker of some description and has noticed the wine changing with her. I am also dismayed by by the cheesiness of that Hardys ad with the bottle making an impression on the car, hur-hur- hur. Are all wine adverts rubbish by law or something? I can't think of a single good one off the top of my head.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Ah now whot about the S. African wines one dominating the Northern/Victoria lines? With the funny reptile lying back in a tshirt with the S.African flag on it? Ha ha that is funny ha ha ha fetch me a bottle! As long as I can smash it OVER MY OWN HEAD argh. Tube adverts surely don't count. I still want to know why they are all so crap for car insurance (if yer on the tube = good chance you don't drive and not target demographic SURELY) and LET YER BODY KNOW WHEN TO CONCIEVE helff fads. Sheesh.

Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I have never seen a wine ad except 'le francais adore Le Piat D'or' which I doubt even counts as wine. Is wine advertising targeted at the metropolis, or have I missed my demographic?

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"In France it's part of the language" => very very very angry RickyT shouting at television.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Spitfire Ale is even worse though.

Wine ads infest the London Underground system. That and ads for ten- week 'philosophy' courses.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'I AM DRUG FREE' screams trophy winning golfer.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Are any of the common ads on the tube any good? Travel insurance = shit, cheap phone calls = shit, wellwoman pills = very smug detoxified woman therefore shit, cartoon strip style loan ads = even shitter, car insurance ads = dreadful with particular brickbats going to Diamond (car insurance for girls NOT men) and Admiral (Tim and whatserface 'soap opera' type affair only the fuckers can't even be bothered to use the same models from episode to episode) and as pointed out above why do I want car insurance when I'm on the sodding TRAIN anyway?

Must. Calm. Down.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Scientology helped me become a successful photographer', yes yes but it also made you look like Greg Evigan.

RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Sorry John, try as hard as you like, Diamond is only for women'

John is a c**t.

Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I am a Planet Talker. It is you who are mad.

Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"You know what I'm like with shoes! Anyway, today's paaaaaaaaaaaaayday." Lock the bitch up.

Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I've just remembered I have to turn away when that drink ad with the piano playing dog appears. It really freaks me out. I hate that dog.

Lambrini girls are classic. As David Bell, chief executive of Cheetham Bell JWT, which devised the campaign said:

"It is a drink for salt-of-the-earth girls to drink before they go out, maybe while chatting or putting their make-up on. While they do that, they probably crack jokes about their boyfriends. I've never heard of any men being offended by these ads. They're quite clearly just a bit of fun.'

Who'd have thought that one day computers would allow us to watch adverts at work

Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

"At the link it's eeeezzeeee...." Interminably dull. Young lady trades in her "embarassing mobile phone" cuz it doesn't play the latest blingin' tunes, to the accompaniment of the blandest sub-Shed Seven dirge imaginable.

Millions of years of evolution and THIS is what they expect us to aspire to.

Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'You don't have to be wild and wacky to enjoy Lambrini, but it helps!"
You don't have to be wild and wacky at all! JUST GO AWAY.

will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

The anthropomorphized dog works on teh same principle as the Breezer cat. I mind less about the dog because dogs have less dignity to be besmirched. It's also the same principle as those creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

We're usually in tuned to ads where the audio has been redubbed from a different accented English, I didn't get any hint of that from the oral b ad.

I did see they added a "Hello, I'm a dentist, and I use this toothbrush too" addition.

Mark G, Saturday, 17 August 2019 08:14 (one month ago) link

How are we only just talking about the oral b ads that turn up twice in every single ad break on UK telly in the past two years? I've seen these women more than my closest friends and family

or something, Saturday, 17 August 2019 08:29 (one month ago) link

i mentioned it 5 months ago and brought it back up again yesterday because i'd noticed they'd messed around with it somehow and removed the offending line

koogs, Saturday, 17 August 2019 09:19 (one month ago) link

oh right, carry on

or something, Saturday, 17 August 2019 09:26 (one month ago) link

For some reason the dentists in (these?) toothpaste adverts often seem to be Irish, or have I imagined that?

Boulez, vous couchez avec moi? (Tom D.), Saturday, 17 August 2019 10:03 (one month ago) link

oral b toothpaste is good, i haven't seen the ad my dentist told me to use it

mark s, Saturday, 17 August 2019 10:11 (one month ago) link

they're all shills for Big Toothpaste

PMS change (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 August 2019 10:20 (one month ago) link

the spookiest toothpaste related person is that woman with the unnaturally white teeth and white hair who i'm sure i saw on the bridge in one of the star trek reboot films.

koogs, Saturday, 17 August 2019 11:05 (one month ago) link

stand-up comedy *and* financial advice? Nationwide, you are really spoiling us

what's wrong with being centre-y? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 18 August 2019 12:38 (one month ago) link

^ this. and they get worse with repetition.

koogs, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:01 (one month ago) link

the paxman ad where he asks "why are politicians so ________ ?" is grinding my gears

bcz you and yr pals do yr job badly jeremy

mark s, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:13 (one month ago) link

i guess it's a trailer more than an ad

mark s, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:13 (one month ago) link

(actual thing is on ch5 tonight at 9)

koogs, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:36 (one month ago) link

good that means i can watch law and order reruns from tomorrow without seeing it again

mark s, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:38 (one month ago) link

Horrific double-length little fingers to advertise chocolate biscuits, sure why not.

The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 6 September 2019 18:35 (one month ago) link

"hi I'm Harry Kreddknapp and I'm an enormous cunt"

Ant & Dec: HOLD US PINTS

Joe Proroguin' (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 September 2019 20:32 (one month ago) link

Was going to complain about that "is it Monday? Because it feels like a Thursday" bollocks but ledge already has. (Only noticed the fingers last night - I tend to look away during the adverts so i hear them more than see them)

Graham is still climbing those stairs.

koogs, Sunday, 8 September 2019 23:47 (one month ago) link

You know you've been sat in front of daytime TV too long when you start seriously worrying about how your family will pay for the cost of your funeral

a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 08:26 (three weeks ago) link

And have stilted and badly acted conversations about it to boot.

Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 September 2019 08:28 (three weeks ago) link

Badly stilted and acted conversations?

Mark G, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:28 (three weeks ago) link

Yes.

Oppo (Mark G), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:29 (three weeks ago) link

But there's nothing badly stilted about the rising cost of funerals. Did you know the average funeral can cost over £4000 pind?

a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:37 (three weeks ago) link

The deliveroo one though? With the woman who comes across like Jess Phillips.

gyac, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:40 (three weeks ago) link

trying to picture it, dunno if i've somehow missed that one. if it's not Smithsonian, PBS or Yesterday there's a good chance

a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:46 (three weeks ago) link

took me fucking forever to find
https://youtu.be/UG2JEURpGkQ

gyac, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:54 (three weeks ago) link

no i haven't seen that thank god, tbf if it was Jess P she'd have had to pretend to be really angry at her KFC chips being cold or something

a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:57 (three weeks ago) link

that's another ad that i've heard but never seen (until now)

koogs, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:59 (three weeks ago) link

the Twirl girl

Number None, Saturday, 21 September 2019 10:38 (three weeks ago) link

Why so aggressive, Kevin?

Also, it's probably the new iPhone and not the avocados that means you can't afford a mortgage.

koogs, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:50 (three weeks ago) link

I feel like there's a bumper crop of terrible adverts at the moment. Apparently there's different versions of this particular monstrosity, byut thankfully this is the only one I've seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd9uYTCCYyc

Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:54 (two weeks ago) link

Nationwide are the patron saint of shit adverts.

Dan Worsley, Monday, 30 September 2019 18:00 (two weeks ago) link

Ant and Dec advert for Santander also terrible - I hate those cunts anyway but nonetheless.

Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Monday, 30 September 2019 18:00 (two weeks ago) link

> Apparently there's different versions of this particular monstrosity

i've seen 3 different comedians. think i complained about it upthread (comedy doesn't bear repeated watches)

GET READY FOR BREXIT.

koogs, Monday, 30 September 2019 18:17 (two weeks ago) link

This one is just disturbing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svsBtauYUkE

Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Monday, 30 September 2019 19:42 (two weeks ago) link

As you say..

Those comedy ones are probably the best of that type of ad (remember the "Smug Google" one?) but twice each (tops) is enough.

Mark G, Monday, 30 September 2019 20:00 (two weeks ago) link

we are in a very poor time for adverts

the only one I've seen recently that I quite liked was for...that new innocent smoothies blue drink. that's what i've sunk to

mind you it is quite a nice drink ngl

imago, Monday, 30 September 2019 20:24 (two weeks ago) link

oh, it looks like you're on the phone but then the scenery pulls back and you're there in person. cool effect.

oh, it looks like you've on the ipod but then the scenery pulls back and you're there in person. ok, we've seen that before.

oh, it looks like you've on the laptop but then the scenery pulls back and you're there in person. zzzz.

koogs, Friday, 4 October 2019 20:00 (one week ago) link

I really wanna punch Drew from the Aldi advert in the nuts

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:21 (six days ago) link

lots of companies pushing hallowe'en tat this year.

koogs, Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:04 (six days ago) link

I've started thinking the grumpy teen on the right in the Robert Webb advert for Now TV is how Laura Pidcock looks in the shadow cabinet.

So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:23 (six days ago) link

Every time the Gucci advert that uses In Every Dream Home A Heartache starts up, I laugh. Did they never listen to the lyrics?

So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:25 (six days ago) link

there's a local artist - who is disabled and on income assistance - who gucci contacted about doing something with, they had some back and forth and then they then cut contact (without saying they were doing so). shortly afterwards they've got someone else to just rip off her work completely and she hasn't seen a cent. so fuck gucci basically

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:30 (six days ago) link

the kid in the Mr Kipling advert looks like a motherfucker with some dark secrets

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Monday, 14 October 2019 20:20 (two days ago) link


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