VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

otm

it would seem so

I have never yet actually done it, but sometimes when looking at an illustrated book or magazine I have the momentary urge to put two fingers on the paper and zoom in.

omg i caught myself doing that ages ago
i hate admitting that out loud

Vaguely related to that, I quite often 'click' my front door keys - as if they're my car keys and I can open the front door remotely.

i occasionally "flip swipe" actual paper pages without thinking about the fact that i am not on an ipad

I just had to google "opposite of foreground".

foresky?

about a year ago mr veg fixed our garbage disposal so that instead of having to open the cabinet under the sink & flip a switch to turn it on, there’s now a start button on the sink itself.

we have had this for a year.
i have used it regularly.

today i went to use the garbage disposal & for some goddamned reason i opened the cabinet & under the sink & flipped the switch.

nothing happened. i flipped it on and off a few times & i told mr veg the disposal wasnt working .

i showed him & he was like “yeah because you turned it off” - he flipped the switch under the sink back on (because it powers the sink button), and pushed the button on the sink & away went the garbage disposal.

and then i was like WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN DO THAT AAAAAAAGH WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

i swear i think i am losing my fkn mind

i’ll be calling the nursing home tomorrow to check myself in

<3

Yeah no that is extremely relatable.

Last week, opened the fridge to find a nice half-container of butter pecan ice cream soup. Checking this thread, it wasn't the first time.

How long before my aging brane can no longer notice that it is aging, is what I want to know

ATM I am keenly aware of how my memory has degraded and how daft I have become

Constant high stress plays holy hell with your ability to fix a memory in place. It's not a sign of permanent degradation of your mental abilities.

I have less stress than I've had at any other point in my life. There has been permanent degradation of my mental abilities. It's science, man!

(strokes chin thoughtfully) Have you tried blaming the internet?

I'm over 40, of course I have

wanted to moisturize my face because it felt dry. was standing at the bathroom mirror and put some...hmm smells minty. that's because it's toothpaste and it's in a completely different container than the face lotion.

oh no lol :(

wow

I had filled the sink with hot water to steep some dishes, and while that was happening, I took one of those sponges-with-a-rough-edge to clean the hob/stove.

After a bit, I thought I should rinse the sponge, so turned back to the tap. It's not one of the classic terrible UK 'two faucets, two spouts' deals, it's got the one spout and one of those 'turn for hot/cold, pull out for power' handles.

We're also new to the house, and I'd forgotten than when you turn it to cold you get a few seconds of what had been in the pipes, and in this case that's pretty hot water. So that happened and I thought oh silly me, but it'll turn cold quite quickly. It didn't, though, so I was faced with two problems - one that we might've broken the plumbing in some way shortly after moving in, and two that my hand was starting to get pretty painful.

What I'd forgotten, is that I'd poured the initial hot water straight into the sponge, and that's what was still burning my hand.

opened the half-filled dishwasher in search of a bread knife: didn't find the bread knife (it was hiding elsewhere) but i did find a HAMMER

this is an odd game of Clue i must say

love when i'm looking for some food item i just had in front of me and finding it in the fridge

when it doesn't belong there

this is an odd game of Clue i must say

fp'd

:/

god fine cluedo then jesus

forgetting yr roots, tsk

this is an odd game of Clue i must say

Just took a swig of my marinade and realized my dinner has been soaking in my cocktail for the last half hour.

lmao

... and boy are my arms tired!

Not really absent-mindedness, but an offshoot: how awful I am with names.

Teachers are supposed to be gifted in this department, and I've known many who'd have 25 names memorized by the second day of school. It generally took me three weeks before I knew everybody. Paired with strangers on a golf course, I'll be trying to remember names by the second hole. I usually make a preemptive joke up front about this.

There was a new guy at bowling last night, filling in for someone on my team. I followed him in the rotation, so all night I was looking at the scoreboard, looking for the arrow pointing to his name and knowing I'd be next. Three games, 10 frames a game, that's 30 times (at least) I was looking at his name in bright lights.

Ran into him getting coffee this morning; complete blank. All I could think of was "Gilbert," from the Guadalcanal Diary song "Gilbert Takes the Wheel," and that is most definitely not it.

me every day

I went out for a 3 mile walk earlier and took some money out of the cashpoint to pay for a taxi for tomorrow's dreaded dental extraction of a broken molar. Got back + was doing some cooking and suddenly had a "where's my wallet" panic attack. It wasn't in my pocket or in the *safe place* on top of a speaker where I usually put it.

Went into a panic and ran out into the dark with my torch retracing the entire walk but running and sweating a lot and trudging through mud, shining the torch everywhere I could remember walking. Thought fuck it - all is lost and cancelled my card, my smartphone screen was playing up because sweat was pouring off my head onto it and my glasses were steamed up.

Got home and just a cursory glance was good enough to see my wallet had fallen down the side of the speaker and I even remember it happening and thinking: wallet leaning against speaker, as long as the dog can't eat it that'll do!

oh that is the worst feeling

regular occurrence is me holding the thing i am frantically looking for or ive put it in a different pocket

It's such a dread feeling losing or indeed thinking you've lost a debit card, because there are so many bad scenarios to a shrewd villain being the lucky person to find it. Even in a couple of hours they could do some serious damage - but this isn't an expert opinion, it's just how a panicking, adrenalin pumped brane works!

I have plenty of experiences similar to that.

I'll collect my things at the end of the day and realize my wallet is missing. I'll pat myself down a few times and then imagine it sitting on my desk at home. "Hope that's the case!" I'll think to myself.

So far, I haven't lost it yet. (At least this particular one.) But I always get a very uneasy feeling, one that I link back to the last time I tripped acid 25 years ago. After losing my car in unusual circumstances, I walked five miles back to my apartment, all the while imagining it sitting in its usual parking space. "Hope that's the case!" I kept thinking to myself. I haven't forgotten the black hole in my chest that opened up after I rounded the corner of my apartment complex, and I hate coming so close to feeling it once again.

I think some of my worst nightmares are nothing like Hieronymus B. They are usually about lost items I can't find or trying to do boring jobs I used to do and somehow I've forgotten how to do them!

i “lost my wallet” once, reported my cards lost etc …then the next day found it tucked inside an inner pocket in my purse.
the purse where i had looked like 20 times, buuuut tbh i “looked” in that rising-panic way where by the 20th look you’re like throwing things in the air AGGH ITS STILL NOT HERE

This one really scared me: I went downtown to go to the ATM. I "saw a parking space across the street from the ATM" and pulled over. I got cash. I turned back around and my car was parked at the curb in the middle of a T intersection, right between the two crosswalks. Then I got in my car and tried to figure out why it wouldn't start. I was in DRIVE. Thank fucking god it was a flat road.

BTW, to be clear, it's not even like the ATM was anywhere close to right across from the parking spot (in fact, it couldn't have been, because it was a T, so the only thing "across" from me was a road).

That suburban air making you loopy

yup, must be that clean air

Ah, went to the supermarket right before the snowstorm, saw they had a 50lb bag of ice melt
For sale. Put it on the bottom of my cart. Remembered to tell the cashier it was there so she could charge me
For it. Pushed the cart out to my car. Put the groceries in my car. Drove away, leaving the 50lb bag of ice melt.

i: carefully fashioned a home-made sprinkler device for plants you need to be delicate with (a jamjar w/holes drilled in the lid)
ii: almost every time i deploy it i unthinkingly unscrew the lid and absolutely undelicately slosh a violent tidal wave of water onto the puir wee shoots

Tubes of hand moisturiser and craft glue can look surprisingly alike

D:

is fun to peel pva off your fingers though