marketing of masculinity

xp - apparently they were anticipating a deluge of returns due to "heat shield packaging failure"

what's with all the (joke) anti-gay stuff in the comments like "Don't eat regular gummy bears like some homo!!! NO REFUNDS"? Does the world of tactical gear sales intersect with homophobia?

I'd be surprised if it didn't?

Gummy bears are fine, gummy worms might as well be tiny soft dicks.

This brand name popped into my head one day....and I looked up in TESS and it's not trademarked:

Brobiotics

should I form the worst startup ever?

guys

let's talk about GUT health.

new dannon for men is specially formulated to deliver optimal gut performance in a portable, TACTICAL yogurt capsule.

hell yeah

Meaty, manly dumps like your father used to take... where have they gone?

I still make a splash

ew

Ranch Water?

https://www.adweek.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/ryan-bingham-lone-river-2021-652x367.jpg the camel photographer was still cooler

https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/ranch-water

dadssanity
Rating: 3 stars
07/17/2021

Followed recipe and just couldn’t get a taste that I was happy with. It’s a shame because I had to buy all of the ingredients.

I've been making that drink for years, but never knew it had a name... Always just thought of it as diluted fizzy margarita. Now that I know it's called Texas Ranch Water and is consumed by real cowpokes, I feel at least 10-15% more masculine.

I’m not making my own ranch water

Ranch water is decent. Similar to a gin rickey, which I also like

So it’s a tequila gimlet?

But jim, the rickey comes from Washington, so it is inherently unamerican and effeminate and wrong for a manly man. It is, in current parlance, "cucked" (ugh). Because no one really lives there or comes from there, it doesn't count as a real place and won't ever.

Texas, and cowboys, now THAT'S real. So manly you can smell the manure on its boots. The sweat in its Stetson. The oil on its holster.

a friend of mine here (not texas) has been calling that drink 'ranch water' for a long time

yea it’s been established that Ranch Water (TM) was not the first ranch water I apologize for reviving this thread

ok let me try this again lol I’m 9 years old btw

I’ve just never seen ads for… cans of *non-beer*
alcoholic bevs that appeal to the Marlboro man/classic tough American cowboy thing but I guess the guys in these ads are a little cleaned up.”

“It’s ok you’re still a man if you drink this sweet thing instead of beer.”

in the new west, the claw is the law

Somebody asked for ranch water at the bar on Friday -- takes a while for trends to trickle down to the hinterlands.

Ranch water is great, like a margarita but not as acidic and sugary, combo of good quality agave tequila and Topo Chico means very low incidence of hangovers, excellent summer drink - A

i don't know anything about ranch water but i went to a concert last weekend and this was the water available at the concessions:

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61Zia-RBy7L._SX679_PIbundle-12,TopRight,0,0_SX679SY431SH20_.jpg

i hadn't heard of it but maybe this is a well-known thing? it's a bit off from the archetypal consumer good in this thread but it's in the same genre, no?

liquid death makes me ia to the max

just noticed in that image it refers to the cans as "tallboys." of water. water, the source of life, that is marketed as death

i know that it's a naive and dorky thing to point out but... you are selling water, literally the source of all life you stupid attention-addicted tattooed motherfuckers!! 🖕🖕 xp lol

Does it say 'murder your thirst'? That's some Apprentice-contestant-level shit

water, the source of life, that is marketed as death

It's truly awful! At least they didn't literally go with "water is death", I guess?

At least where I am, Liquid Death started popping up as a semi-common backstage thing at music venues a few years ago. The experience of actually drinking a tallboy of still water is horrifying in an almost psychedelic sense. With every sip, your brain screams at you that this is the worst beer you've ever tasted, and ime this completely precludes any feeling of "refreshment."

is 'mountain water' molecularly distinct from H2O?

presumably meant for straightedgers to fit in

They were handing out Liquid Death cans at the grocery store a couple of months ago - probably placebo but it tasted metallic. Can't imagine actually buying one.

xp Always had the impression that the point of being straightedge was NOT fitting in, but that aside, the cultural profile of canned seltzer over the last several years has been a godsend for a lot of the no longer young touring musicians and stagecraft people I know who can't drink for historical and/or medical reasons.

it's true that the proliferation of canned seltzer water options has been very positive from my pov

i get this rambler "texas limestone filtered" seltzer all the time, it's good and not really marketed in a masculine way at all, cute cans.

The Topo Chico shortage has been very painful.

one to watch!!

A new, vaguely tech-adjacent tea startup wants to free the beverage of its close association with femininity and hippies. "Entrepreneurs and creators and rainmakers," said one co-founder, "are going to be the ones to see through some of the stereotypes." https://t.co/s5x5ePEh3Z

— Motherboard (@motherboard) November 19, 2021

funny, i always associate teabagging with hypermasculinity, but

Remember: the correct way to make tea is to microwave a cup of water then dunk in a torn Lipton tea bag and add some half-and-half.

variation: dip your balls in some lukewarm milk for 16 hours to improve testosterone

What the fuck is a rainmaker now

Also there's this place called "not the US" where everyone drinks tea

the latest and greatest in a rich tradition of native american racism xp

tech-adjacent tea startup

fuck me

'rainmaker' sounds kinda like a feminist hippie to me

"founder" is fucking awful. People found stupid shit that fails. big fucking whoop

is it okay to add soylent to my bro-tea?

million dollar idea: put testosterone in your tea and call it T+

“Hey bro, want a brew?” “What kind of IPA?” “Nah breh, I’m talkin something hot” *high fives* *chest bump*

Introducing Testos-tea