Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

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I don't really get embarrassed by music instructional videos or even necessarily playing, there's just something specifically about those same dude/chick playing all the instruments overdubbed that gets me, like you're watching an adult compete in a school talent show or something. I mean I can't really talk shit about it because I post bullshit clips of me noodling on guitar to instagram and they're probably even more embarrassing.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 20 May 2021 13:52 (eight months ago) link

It's not 100%-cringe free, that's for sure.

Worst ones are when the same person wears different shirts for each instrument.

pplains, Thursday, 20 May 2021 14:08 (eight months ago) link

"signature model" musical instruments. I paid a premium to play a guitar that was custom-designed for someone else.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 24 May 2021 18:28 (eight months ago) link

look man if it's good enough for dimebag darrell it's good enough for you

adam, Monday, 24 May 2021 19:09 (eight months ago) link

Author bios written in the third person by the author themselves

just1n3, Tuesday, 25 May 2021 12:36 (seven months ago) link

If you're ever asked to write a bio in third-person, just say "XXX is a writer who lives in blahblah. In his spare time, he enjoys tennis." Don't even think about using the term "brain-crush".

Even if you don't play tennis.

― pplains, Thursday, June 14, 2012 8:59 AM

pplains, Tuesday, 25 May 2021 12:55 (seven months ago) link

they make us do that for theatre bios. I hate them. i usually write something self-deprecating and then thank a random celebrity

Feta Van Cheese (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 25 May 2021 12:56 (seven months ago) link

"Neanderthal has acted in 21 plays at the ~theater~ and has been a performer in central Florida for over 20 years. In his spare time, he enjoys tennis."

There. Just add to the numbers and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

pplains, Tuesday, 25 May 2021 12:58 (seven months ago) link

also said I was ranked #1 globally, I think I went a bridge too far.

Feta Van Cheese (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 25 May 2021 13:01 (seven months ago) link

Well yeah. I've never even seen you at Wimbledon.

pplains, Tuesday, 25 May 2021 13:02 (seven months ago) link

Yes. Plain fact bios in the third person are fine, but "quirky" ones make me wanna die from embarrassment

just1n3, Wednesday, 26 May 2021 00:44 (seven months ago) link

Wasn’t it Tim Rice who never changed his, in the more contemporary programme for Evita, whereas ALW updated and lengthened his?

Mark G, Wednesday, 26 May 2021 06:43 (seven months ago) link

four months pass...

when the local weather service says "on tap," as in "another cold night on tap." it's such a silly metaphor!

Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Thursday, 14 October 2021 21:09 (three months ago) link

the heat’s gonna tap out on Wednesday

brimstead, Thursday, 14 October 2021 22:08 (three months ago) link

two months pass...

people going "LET'S GOOOOO" in social media comments. you're posting online, it isn't a fucking action movie.

Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 22:53 (one month ago) link

i feel like it's time to call this thread what it deserves to be called -- thread for cringe

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 22 December 2021 23:02 (one month ago) link

mid- and post-credits scenes

STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Thursday, 23 December 2021 02:55 (one month ago) link

LL otm

sarahell, Saturday, 25 December 2021 03:15 (four weeks ago) link

saying "let's gooooo" in the fashion implied here is a terrible thing that's happened to the english language

i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 27 December 2021 01:13 (four weeks ago) link

kamala harris

towards fungal computer (harbl), Monday, 27 December 2021 14:09 (four weeks ago) link

I don't really get embarrassed by music instructional videos

There is only one music instructional video that I need in my life and it is this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_8iD5xS1hI

; (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 27 December 2021 15:02 (four weeks ago) link

lol lol lol lol / lol lol lol lol lol / lol lol lol lol

I actually was seriously thinking about this, like, is he gonna suggest you subdivide into three measures - 4, 5, 4 or 4, 4, 5 or ... years back I was in this experimental rock orchestra piece where the composer (who was self-taught) had a movement in 11/4 and it didn't really work out the way he intended. It was actually hilarious tbh ... because musicians in different sections cleverly suggested that we subdivide into 3, 4, and 4 ... but then couldn't agree whether it should be 3, 4, 4 or 4, 3, 4 ... based on how their section's part was written.

sarahell, Monday, 27 December 2021 18:48 (four weeks ago) link

Yeah, realistically, if given a piece like that I won't be counting, I will just be memorizing the tune and playing something that goes with it.

Back when I played jazz, people would give me advice about how to count a five or seven or thirteen or whatever and I'd nod sagely, say "yeah, got it." When the music started I would just do some amorphous brushing until the pulse became clear, then suss out some kind of ostinato that worked.

My college band played "Take Five" for years and I confess I never once counted to five. I'd just be singing "doo doot-doot-doodly-doodly doo doo" silently in my head the whole time.

; (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 27 December 2021 20:15 (four weeks ago) link

yeah, I think that's the smart way to go with those jazz gigs tbh ... I got nerdy enough about it to be able to count to five if needed, but musically, it would often sound stronger and tighter if I broke 5 out into 3 and 2. ... unless the piece was something where it would go from 6/8 to 5/8 ... but that was really just 1-and-2-and-3-and so ...

sarahell, Monday, 27 December 2021 20:19 (four weeks ago) link

I bow to your superior nerdery, sarahell.

Nowadays I am mostly on mandolin; everything's a multiple of four. When I try to break it down and explain it to someone, it just gets mushy. It is mostly a matter of finding the pulse, then putting accents where they make sense. If you're counting, you're probably lost.

; (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 27 December 2021 20:29 (four weeks ago) link

I'm so cringey I got hospitalised for it. I was put on the awk ward

Urbandn hope all ye who enter here (dog latin), Monday, 27 December 2021 21:28 (four weeks ago) link

three weeks pass...

the phrase "you got this!" / "i got this!" makes me want to commit seppuku

Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 02:43 (six days ago) link

agree

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 03:21 (six days ago) link

i see my embarrassment at this language use as entirely rational tbh ... the people whose use of it tends to make me cringe have "personas" that seem fake in other ways, like they are afraid to be authentic and use words and phrases that are what they are actually thinking

sarahell, Tuesday, 18 January 2022 21:38 (six days ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/A73jWyA.gif

pplains, Tuesday, 18 January 2022 23:31 (six days ago) link


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