Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

Why does Brabin have to give up her seat if fellow regional mayor Dan Jarvis doesn’t have to give up his?

She has already said she'll resign as MP.

Lol

Another Labour source confirms a reshuffle *IS* ongoing, however.

It sounds like this is how it may shape up ...

Demotions: Anneliese Dodds, Lisa Nandy, Jon Ashworth and Nick Brown

Promotions: Wes Streeting, Rachel Reeves, Jess Phillips, Sarah Jones and Steve Reed

— Rachel Wearmouth (@REWearmouth) May 8, 2021

I'm not sure tbh, perhaps it was just her personal decision and Dan can draft a minute and shoot a whole family dead , so he's used to multitasking

From the Times article on Rayner's sacking:

Since December 2019, Mattinson, a former pollster for Gordon Brown, has conducted focus groups for Starmer, asking voters in some to compare the leaders of political parties to animals. When it comes to Starmer, many choose an eagle: circling above events and opportunistically swooping down from time to time. The implication is clear: the 58-year-old former director of public prosecutions is aloof, detached and too far from his prey.

Not sure anyone in their right mind would see Kieth as an eagle, unless they meant Eddie?

Don Henley maybe

Nah really tho it's an outright lie nobody has ever thought Kieth is a competent predator

henley > starmer SITO

the implication is clear: the focus group was drunk and trolling

EXC: Angela Rayner was sacked hours after opponents leaked info about her conduct on the campaign trail — incl her using 1st class train tickets

Rayner says she did use them: for safety, travelling alone after Sarah Everard's murder

New level of toxicityhttps://t.co/UM3LkP8qrH

— Gabriel Pogrund (@Gabriel_Pogrund) May 8, 2021

Kieth swooping like a mighty Eagle from the "thoughts that have never actually occurred to anybody at all" series

Look who is cleaning up

👀👀 pic.twitter.com/oZSMslQG9E

— P.G. Chodehouse (@mynnoj) May 8, 2021

Just so fucking stupid, everyone in left twitter has those screenshots

I sit alone in my four-cornered room
Staring at candles, liveblogging what team angela has leaked to Times Radio

Fuck me there is a warehouse sized server of McShitter screengrabs!

Scoop by @cazjwheeler: Starmer has appointed Deborah Mattinson, Gordon Brown's ex pollster, as head of strategy

Mattinson often asks Red Wall focus groups to compare MPs to animals

Starmer is an eagle: circling above, removed, occasionally swoops downhttps://t.co/UM3LkP8qrH

— Gabriel Pogrund (@Gabriel_Pogrund) May 8, 2021

!!!

Labour source claims that Jenny Chapman has been banned from Keir Starmer’s house on the orders of Starmer’s wife. The plot thickens

— Tim Shipman (@ShippersUnbound) May 8, 2021

ooh trouble in paradise!

this is like the end of season finale for the shit spin-off show of the uk

Shippers Deleted!

who'd have thought someone else with the initials JC could have caused so much trouble for the Kieth Starmer project.

Guessing that was a joke that got out of hand

Defend Jenny Chapman at all costs! That must be the main goal, I tell you. Who is this woman? What has she got on Starmer? A failed red wall MP who has shown no evidence she has any understanding of politics https://t.co/9st6H9UWfg

— Tim Shipman (@ShippersUnbound) May 8, 2021

Can only think that the political calculation in the Starmerbunker right now is that it's better to proactively seize the news agenda as a deranged melt maniac rather than passively endure another Sunday depicted as pathetic loser? Like being firm and decisive, even in the most absurd way, is somehow good optics?

They seemed so determined to lose Hartlepool maybe it's all going to plan and that was their planned Reichstag fire moment to jettison all these soft-left shadow cabinet members that poor kieth was forced to impose on us as a sop to the membership in 2020. That lol everyone hates anyway!

https://www.cartooncuisine.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Boy-Our-Party-Sucks-Screenshot.jpg

Don Henley maybe

Definitely Randy Meisner.

Please let this happen

Sound of screeching brakes? I'm hearing the reshuffle may have stalled because of the backlash to Angela Rayner's sacking

— Rachel Wearmouth (@REWearmouth) May 8, 2021

"So Keir, do you prefer Oasis or The Stone Roses?"

Great to show the boss around Manchester today. pic.twitter.com/MmVUUMgqQC

— Angela Rayner 😷 (@AngelaRayner) April 29, 2021

whenever they try get a fake grinning shot of kieth in motion he looks a still some grotesque still from a Lynch movie.

Great stuff

Source from Oxford on Labour NEC member Luke Akehurst losing council seat:

“In Oxford there was a huge uproar amongst Muslim community about Labour, Starmer & Akehurst....Loads of WhatsApp messages going around all Mosque WhatsApp groups saying boycott Labour. We expected this”.

— Aaron Bastani (@AaronBastani) May 8, 2021

u love to see it

somehow missed that prick being booted out, brilliant stuff. just found out that our prick of a tory mayor also lost, he'll be completely toxic now, what an election.

Meanwhile, it's been a long day for Paul Mason

What animal are you?
Get it out there now before it's too late! Come clean! Me....Pine Marten. I love the little b***ers! pic.twitter.com/awZ4i42kZQ

— Paul Mason (@paulmasonnews) May 8, 2021

How did Starmer even get to be Director of Public Prosecutions when he is so incapable of anything? Both the idea that he should sack Rayner, and then it leaking and considering backtracking on it are signs of utter incompetence. He doesn't make good decisions and he can't effectively implement them.

He was elected as leader as safe pair of hands - managerial, unifying and good at winning elections. He's proved himself to be none of those things, and is completely bereft of ideas or sincerity. What does he bring to the table? He should resign.

I've thought for a minute and am no closer to working out what "b***ers!" means

Bloody hell! Labour have lost *Durham* council - the first the party ever won control of in 1919 - to no overall control. Northern Echo says it's the first time they've lost control for a century.

Tories have gained 13 seats on the council, Labour lost 16

— Dan Bloom (@danbloom1) May 8, 2021

Kieth will blame Arthur Henderson for that one

LONDON MAYOR SECOND ROUND

KHAN (Lab): 1,206,034
BAILEY (Con): 977,601

Sadiq Khan is re-elected for a second term.

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) May 8, 2021

I think it's safe to say at this point, without a trace of hyperbole, that Kieth is well on the way to being the worst ever opposition Labour leader in the party's entire history.

fucking hell Khan has only just done it on 2nd prefs!

one of my mutuals confirmed the WhatsApp story Bastani tweeted about upthread - revenge of the aunties

Buggrs.

I don't think that's accurate about pine martens, but.

Bailey only got .3% more first prefs than Goldsmith. Turnout 3% lower.

xp
if you don't realise putting asterisks on words that aren't expletives you're possibly not understanding social democracy correctly from a Marxist viewpoint

If you don't think KS will advance the class struggle you're possibly not understanding social democracy correctly from a Marxist viewpoint

— Paul Mason (@paulmasonnews) April 8, 2020

oh fuck it post this again

Might have been better if he'd been named after Ramsay Macdonald than Keir Hardie tbh.

I think a government of national unity would be about the the limits of him ever getting near power.

Strong European Super League energy about this supposed reshuffle.

not really fair on the ESL is that

they had a coherent plan that was a terrible miscalculation, this cunt apparently just does everything on the fly.