L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

eyes baked solid by caustic HDR images

i know, i couldn't even see what was going on and didn't finish the slideshow

Didn't even notice that the Groverhaus was in KC while the Crowdhouse was in StL.

Never going to ask a realtor to "show me" a listing again.

The use of the word "bonkers" made me think of a writer -- George Saunders? Pynchon?

The first few sentences are a legit Lewis Carroll quote, then there are a bunch of misattributed ones scattered throughout the rest of that blurb. That bonkers sentence is a paraphrase of a Johnny Depp line from the Burton Alice in Wonderland movie. (I did some googling)

we are at Johnny Depth

internet says "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality" is Jules de Gaultier

putting in an offer on the St Louis one

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise, what is, it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be, it would, you see. This is entirely bonkers but I'll tell you a secret, all the best houses are. Sunken conversations rise to incredible heights. Tables that clearly show the wonders of the deep. Waterfalls and rooftop gardens. Outside/inside and angles of peculiar destinations. Mirrors that reflect upside down. Bridges that lead to spaces with no faces. Closed windows with light from unexpected places. Somethings real, somethings created - all things coming together to form an unexpected adventure through the mind of a visionary man. This could be your dream and you could decide where it goes from here. Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.

--Bob Marley

"this house, which is clearly shit, is actually good. more mess and gak when we come back!"
- marc summers

lol

that St. Louis one would look like a very intentional architectural essay in historical eclecticism, maximalist postmodernism, or something of the sort.... if not for the godawful real-estate photo lighting and "clarity" settings applied to the images. realistically it's probably the obsessive personal project of some tinkering eccentric/collector/salvage-rummager/bricoleur. which is also pretty cool IMHO but would also benefit tremendously from a different photographic aesthetic.

Looking at those pictures felt like:

https://images.hindustantimes.com/rf/image_size_960x540/HT/p2/2019/04/25/Pictures/_5183fa28-6760-11e9-b8c7-d9ea8f4e8ad0.jpg

just a lil plug

itt stomach-churning hdr photos

a bit of a fixer upper
https://www.redfin.com/CO/Colorado-Springs/4525-Churchill-Ct-80906/home/34515765

I love how most of the pictures are understandably showing the layout despite the damage, except for one photo that focuses on a specific patch of carpet with the words "THE SHIT".

After teasing the deck like that the least they could have done was have a photo. (I didn’t watch the video.)

i wanted to see the basement meat

ok i watched the video. the deck isn't in it. i don't understand how they're asking that much. they should just knock it down imo.

"Oh, and did I mention it’s in the pink of a geological landslide area?"

Nice way to sneak that in.

Ha ha we fucked up your house.

The music hah

Um, do you not see this is a "Hot Home"? Your loss.

Ok, watched the video. Poor cats. Fuck that tenant.

What's the CD left behind at 6:11?

"There's something fishy about the property manager's accounting...All of this damage was done after the tenant had been evicted."

Is she implying that the property manager did the spray-painting?

xp I think it's this:

https://www.theballadeers.com/noa/images/wm/2008_cw.jpg

Chilling.

across the celtic moors, a whisper -- "evict me bitch"

If you dream of owning your own little slice of hell and turning it into a piece of heaven, then look no further!

if you're a realtor and thought The Addams Family was a documentary, we've got your listing!

"There's something fishy about the property manager's accounting...All of this damage was done after the tenant had been evicted."

Is she implying that the property manager did the spray-painting?

― jmm, Friday, June 18, 2021 10:50 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

not enough info to figure out but i believe she was implying they had done an informal/illegal eviction of this person (probably changing the locks or something) rather than a sheriff's eviction through the court, which may be why the person was allowed back to get the stuff and cause damage, because they could argue they didn't get adequate notice or whatever

https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/06/slice-of-hell-realtor-colorado-house-vandalized-eviction.html

https://mimifosterbooks.com/romantic-escapes/

amazing bargain for buying all three parts of the Thunder On The Mountain trilogy as a bundle

This is too much. There should be a reality show where the landlord, property manager, tenant, and Mimi all have to live together in the house.

the bank doesn't want to foreclose because they know they're never going to sell this dump, mimi

i miss the days when making fun of real estate listings was just a message board thing

https://i.imgur.com/2fO5Zdn.png

how can there be so many things wrong with such a plain room, with only two objects in it

awesome

Me: "Hi, I'm a delusional paranoid solipsist agoraphobe. I'm also an unmployed psychotherapist, however, and I need a space in which to psychoanalyze myself."

Real estate agent: "I got you fam"

Love when furniture is lurking in odd places.

https://d1ja9tyo8nbkbc.cloudfront.net/54118364_S0009/S0009/S0009-R0100/21023190/21023190-10.jpg?width=1024

*opens trunk*

there is nothing in the trunk

I mean, we've seen enough of these wacky Grover houses to which it's probably not even worth it to share each one we find.

But, it was around these photos in the gallery when I started experiencing vertigo and other signs of a possible stroke.

https://i.imgur.com/poJT05r.png

https://i.imgur.com/DEAYE9C.png

escheresque

you left out the hanging framed box fans

By that point, I was all, "I dunno, maybe this is normal and I'm the outlier."

wow i didn't expect it to be THAT bad. it looks like it was built all from salvage building supplies. so many different browns. really disorienting.

More and more I am convinced the Winchester Mystery House is not so unique.

trying to think of a new place to move in the next 5 years or so and i confess to thinking "oh i could easily afford this" and hoping it would be a good house before seeing the pictures

high property taxes though, clearfield pennsylvania? not what i was expecting