Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

Fuck's sake Laura must be bored

Also I'm mildly surprised Pickles is still alive, never mind an MP, never mind a "watchdog"

He’s not an MP, he’s a Lord now (ofc). No word on the biscuit bill.

That headline is just cruel because it’s clearly not his, it’s the department’s, but it remains a memorable Pickles story.

This is an interesting analysis. Triggering the libs for socially conservative voters could be bad not good.

I wrote something on 'the Blue Wall' - socially liberal suburban seats long held by the Conservatives but which are trending away from them. I think they get less attention than they should https://t.co/1SFV7vrCv2

— Steve Akehurst (@SteveAkehurst) April 15, 2021

Calz: Just turned 60

I don't remember where I was when JFK copped it, I just remember seeing the TW3 show on some (maybe) Noels TV addicts type show. Some years after, I found out that Willie Rushton etc were massively conflicted as to how to go with it. I think it was the last one ever, but.

Nationalise Colin the Caterpillar

— Northern Independence Party 🟨🟥 (@FreeNorthNow) April 15, 2021

xp

ah right, I thought you was coming out as a septuagenarian for a minute there.

I don't think many commentators have talked much about lol politically homeless socially liberal tory voters since the late days of May/early days of Boris regime. Some of them might, with a heavy heart, vote for Kieth in 2024 he hopes!

who is watching the watchdog's biscuit tin?

It's jezza tarnishing the brand not a vaccine bounce let's not be silly.

TIMES EXCLUSIVE

Tories *14 points* ahead of Labour with YouGov: their biggest lead this year AND since last spring.

Usual caveats apply, but these numbers would confirm Starmer's fears of a vaccine bounce.

Full analysis in @timesredbox this morning: https://t.co/XpaedmAxtE pic.twitter.com/wp7Ccfkrtp

— Patrick Maguire (@patrickkmaguire) April 16, 2021

Decent vaccine bounce from the Greens and Lib Dems too.

http://www.youtube.com/

sad attempt to link bounce it by juicy j on my phone!

I refuse to believe in bouncing, unless it's Kieth in a trampoline arena trying get down with the kids and he goes over the side and breaks his neck

I think it was the last one ever, but.

TW3 - carried on for a bit, but was pulled at the end of '63, as there was a GE campaign coming up. There were a couple more Ned Sherrin shows after that - Not So Much A Programme, More A Way of Life, and BBC-3 (Robert Robinson! Lynda Baron! Leonard Rossiter!). I am also not in my 70s, but I did have an unhealthy interest in all satire boom nonsense as a teenager.

how does it compare to the stilted horror of HIGNFY

Blame for this tragedy lies with Jeremy Corbyn the vaccine bounce.

Corbyn is to blame for all those awkward photographs of KS looking weird too.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EyD3_VgWUAcV7L-?format=jpg&name=large

The huge success of the vaccine roll out needs to be reinforced with the tightest possible border restrictions. It's hard for many with family abroad, but we there's no point in having the heating on when the window's open.

— Tom Tugendhat (@TomTugendhat) April 16, 2021

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ9J-dxEgY4

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzFTiGWWYAEro7d?format=jpg&name=360x360

a vivid picture of that vaccine bounce Kieth narcosis in polling

When I'm airing the house and it's cold I sometimes have the heating on and the window open for a bit

I can't bear to have the central heating without a window open, my excuse is I built up a lot of carbon offset credit in the 70's/80's and I'm spending it now on some profligate heating luxury.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2021/apr/16/tory-government-infected-with-widespread-cronyism-labour

idk why they keep talking about 'cronyism' and 'chumocracy' rather than what it actually is - corruption.

Johnny Foreigner indulges in corruption, the British don't.

what came of this from february?

Covid: Matt Hancock acted unlawfully over pandemic contracts
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56125462

or this from november?

Covid spending: Watchdog finds MPs' contacts were given priority
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-54978460

But but, the vaccine rollout...

xp Starmzy said that Hancock shouldn’t resign at the time iirc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Seen in Stratford, London. pic.twitter.com/FVZWyIArYx

— Sheridan Flynn (@sheridanflynn) April 16, 2021

apparently this is the work of Jeremy Deller

Yup. It’s on his Insta.

120k per hour

One of Greensill’s 4 corporate jets appears to have been the Cameron shuttle pic.twitter.com/Txd3ditvHu

— Andrew Adonis (@Andrew_Adonis) April 17, 2021

it's very unfortunate that one of these numerous flights the degenerate pig took on private jets didn't make season 3 of air crash confidential

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzPXsUaVUAQJLf0?format=jpg&name=900x900

pretty hard to attack the tories on corruption when your general secretary is one of your many party chums who are bang at it themselves.

You’re witnessing the early stages of a combover here. The five stages of bald grief pic.twitter.com/xPpmBbT47B

— The Gordon Jackson Five (in mourning) (@weemoxy1) April 17, 2021

it won't be Greensill that kiboshes Rishi's irresistible rise to the top, one day the wind will change direction and expose his combover!

From yesterday, when The Daily Star went agitprop.

Haha gotta love the Daily Star 😀 pic.twitter.com/cJYj5Rwrf5

— GlennA (@GlennAirey) April 17, 2021

the long 90's is back baby!

Tories are definitely getting the jitters over this. Doesn't take much to get a Tory worried about losing his seat though.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EzSs-4JUYAYyLrr?format=jpg&name=medium

Vote for Kieth he's a not very tall boss wanker and he doesn't like to talk about it!

Thread on 'hearts and minds / win the working class' proposals from Healey, Jarvis and others:

📚 HEARTS AND MINDS: WINNING THE WORKING-CLASS VOTE📚

To win an election the Labour Party needs to rebuild its connection with working-class voters in every corner of the UK. Read our new publication, edited by @JohnHealey_MP https://t.co/Hw4vkui1iG #heartsandminds pic.twitter.com/bOJFONkyFg

— The Fabian Society (@thefabians) April 19, 2021

Does not seem markedly different from the current Starmer bromides on any of the issues discussed, tbh.

"Little has changed since George Orwell decried the left’s hostility to patriotism"

little might have changed in Barnsley you flag-fucking moron, but otherwise the world is a completely different place to the fucking 1940's

"Little has changed since William of Ockham decried the temporal power of the Avignon Papacy"

What we could have had pic.twitter.com/idcsrWsJoZ

— Marcus Barnett (@marcusbarnett_) April 18, 2021

🚨⚽️ | BREAKING: Boris Johnson says he will make sure that the European Super League doesn’t go ahead as it stands

— Politics For All (@PoliticsForAlI) April 19, 2021

Boris in spotting an opportunity for some grandstanding shockah!

Kieitgh needs to get out in front of this one and be the first politician to enthusiastically back the super league

he's just requested all spurs fans get ejected from the focus group

Today's character.

Do millenials ever stop to consider how ludicrous it is that most are paying more in rent each month than they would if they had a mortgage on the same property? They're working to pay off their landlord's mortgage, funding their lifestyle. All for the sake of a mortgage deposit.

— Paul Sweeney (@PaulJSweeney) April 18, 2021

Keith Starmer finally meets the public pic.twitter.com/JCztF4JLE5

— black lives matter (@jrc1921) April 19, 2021

landlord is an anti-masker dick, but still is it really necessary for Kieth's gorilla to go in so heavy

Do millenials ever stop to consider how ludicrous it is that most are paying more in rent each month than they would if they had a mortgage on the same property? They're working to pay off their landlord's mortgage, funding their lifestyle. All for the sake of a mortgage deposit.
— Paul Sweeney (@PaulJSweeney) April 18, 2021

If Paul Sweeney would like to give me the money I had in my savings, trying to get on the property ladder, paying a shop landlord for a year I couldn’t open it after regular threats of getting the bailiffs in and wanting to take us to court, II would happily stop to consider this. But some of us don’t have time to be so angry we explode.

Starmer: He’s lucky I don’t just open up a 24hr court right in his pub and lock him up.

Bouncer: Yes Boss.

— The Trashies (@TheTrashiesUK) April 19, 2021

corbz would have attempted to engage with this fule, kieth is always in boss-wanker mode so he can't talk to the public in all the fucked up forms they come in and situations will escalate like they did here. He's such a hopeless cowardly lump of ham.