abysmal real names

Saw a name on a ticket in the queue last week and I had to wonder if it was cute or cruel if your last name is Duckworth for one to name their son Donald.

Gus Dudgeon

counterpoint: that one's good

I find Uegene O'Neill quite appealing visually

Oo-ezhenn

"Gus Dudgeon" just sounds like someone choking to death on a boiled parsnip to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyVfkr6nsrk
cmon man

Albuquerque Cosper Head

I was reading a story about the Iced Earth guitarist who was arrested for the Jan 6 thing, and another person indicted was listed. Had to re-read it a couple times to verify that "Albuquerque" wasn't where he was from, but his first name.

counterpoint: albuquerque is a bitchin' name and should not have been wasted on a treason larper

I actually thought to put it in the great names thread, but didn't want to honor the dude.

Tory Kittles

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooper_Cronk

blake flayton

Painter-of-cowboys Frederic Remington's mother, Clarissa (Clara) Bascom Sackrider

I found a real life last name of "Dingus".

Susan Spain-Dunk

Oops I meant that for the great real names thread!

You just know she was called Dain Spunk at school

Libby Purves

Hugh McHugh

https://www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/19432603.hugh-mchugh-gangster-caged-major-etizolam-plant-haul/

"a known associate of Barney McGrew..."

Colin Pitchfork

4.3

Dook LaRue

https://www.showbizpizza.com/rae/characters/dook.html

a member of my rockafire explosion this morning

Ole Kock Hansen, Danish Jazz pianist

saying it in a Sun City Girls Horse Cock Phepner voice forever in my head

Rougned Odor

it’s also kind of awesome though

and he’s the only consistent player the Yankees seem to have

The backstory of Rougned Odor's name makes it even more awesomely abysmal. "Rougned" is a combination of his grandfather's name Douglas and his grandmother's name Nedia... but since all the males in his family have names beginning with the letter "R" they changed the "D" to "R." And who would want to be called Dougned Odor after all.

hahaha i am dying

incredible

Rougned Odor more like RaggNed Odsbloodhathilxnothreadforanticipationofthor. If you ask me

From today's Dear Prudence column at Slate:

"Help! My Parents Gave Me a Wacky, Offensive Name.
I had it legally changed, and they still won’t stop using it."

Dear Prudence,

My parents gave me a really terrible name, that half-rhymes and contains a racial slur--think “Gypsy-Pixie,” and misspelled. (We are a white family.)...

So what could her name really be? (Is it really obvious and I'm being dense?)

Tipsy Dixie?

sorry, Typsi Dick C.

I don't think it rhymes with Gypsy-Pixie, it has an internal rhyme

Hammond Gammon

please to insert the misspelling yourself

His uncle, Rouglas, played for eight seasons in Minor League Baseball for the Cleveland and Milwaukee Brewers organizations,[4][7]

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTrl1AJclpQu0oKUD_wcjpujruerVit-fVA3FNyxRi4vFO4vE-YG1vWHfMysr5tf6Lodnw&usqp=CAU

thanks for the new dn

https://i.redd.it/k4z7vvh8ozd21.png

LOL

"Mummy, I did a Poppie Platt in my pants".

Amelia Gentleman

...mindbending chemicals

for reference

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNm66KzI7Vk

Didn’t know whether to put this in the great or abysmal category so I went with both:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penda_Hair

Named after the 7th Century King of Mercia? or at least named after his hair.

steele fortress

https://i.imgur.com/ecbCJhN.jpg