L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

and raiders fan

Oh my god

it's worth scrolling through every last photo imo

lol the basement

If there's one thing that makes worse sense than a toilet set into carpet...

Enjoy summer bonfires in your own fire pit...

Or on Samhain! Whatever fits your lifestyle.

lol the basement

― ciderpress, Monday, March 29, 2021 7:29 AM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

who carpets a dungeon smh

I can't imagine the owner of that house looking like anything else except the bassist from Korn in the Falling Away From Me music video.

You'd think a vampire would go easy on the mirrors.

as it happens, the realtor will not confirm the owner is a vampire
https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/03/baltimore-sexy-funeral-goth-house-realtor.html

a vampire wouldn't have mirrors over the bed, what would be the point?

to easily check if they're lying on their dog

shit happens

afraid to ask what those additions on the foot of the bed are for.

Something looks missing from bedpo-
Oh. pic.twitter.com/EZPDFLHtLe

— Justin Fenton (@justin_fenton) March 29, 2021

i jumped a bit when the red pillow showed up, v unexpected

Amazing level of aesthetic commitment

Schindler's Listing

omfg no

oh, ok, a decorative carving

i need mcmansionhell to do larry hogan's ugly new house https://www.bizjournals.com/baltimore/news/2021/04/26/hogan-estate-purchase-11m-davidsonville.html

I’m going to dig the fuck in https://t.co/ldCc5fZ8LI

— wout van aerchitecture (@mcmansionhell) April 27, 2021

Well, yeah, it's ugly AF, but not out of character for the area. Price is actually pretty reasonable. In my neighborhood, $1.1 M is a four-bedroom townhouse with a slate patio.

so you're saying we need to carpet bomb the whole area? makes sense.

Totally read that as Barry Hogan at first and was like, "is this where all the ATP band fees went????"

so you're saying we need to carpet bomb the whole area? makes sense.

I'm on board with that plan, but can we wait till he moves there?

Jesus will still got almost two more years of the Hoog.

Boss Hoog

https://i.imgur.com/EdJExa6.jpg

One lesson I've learned is if your first reaction to a feature is "Ooh, the cats will love this!" it will become one of the most useless areas of the house.

he got it for like 250k below asking, i'm sure for very innocent reasons (no i won't give him the benefit of the doubt because i fucking hate him). there are more photos here. so many carpets! https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3415-Timberlake-Farm-Rd-Davidsonville-MD-21035/117513358_zpid/?

Suddenly realizing how some of these new fangled "McMansions" that should be going out of style at any moment now ... are getting to be about 30-35 years old.

They're not going to age well.

The oppressive blandness of that property would make being there at, say, dusk on a gloomy winter day feel unbearably suffocating. Imagine! It has all the sensibilities of a corporate office property (including the uninviting purgatory of a lawn that nobody will venture onto except to periodically mow; a stagnant arbitrarily framed backdrop for one to watch snow slowly accumulate and then melt over endless monotonous days and for nothing else) that was furnished in 2002 mixed with a dentist office waiting room in an middle class suburb (likely even complete with the echoes of never-ending HGTV episodes that follow such a strict template you would swear that a computer is merely randomizing the humanoids each time in an otherwise repeated artificial simulation). That's the general vibe I get from it.

I hate those little cocktail sinks that are popping up in the living areas.

i think "oppressive blandness 2024" is larry hogan's presidential campaign slogan

the uninviting purgatory of a lawn that nobody will venture onto except to periodically mow

They have people for that

I was listening to this podcast about the lumber industry/current lumber price spikes, and one of the things I learned is that lumber yards sell homebuilders pre-arranged "framing packages" of the various types of lumber you need to frame a house, and it made me think about how there's probably a strong economic incentive to build mcmansions, because the relative standardization cuts costs and simplifies things for the builders. At the same time, you'd think that these goliath national builders could have paid for better standard designs.

Well yeah.

yeah, along the same lines i often think of the sears catalog houses people used to build, they're still standing all over the place and are generally pretty nice looking. but now you need to have at least 8 gables to look successful.

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/150-N-74th-St_Kansas-City_KS_66111_M70735-09751#photo3

19000 sq ft????

lmao

some times this is the best thread on ilx tbh

Property listing photos recovered from GoPro feed of unknown person's final moments.

"And that's where it cuts off?"
"Yeah. The last one is right about where we found the camera and the glasses."
"Dammit... who were you running from? Who were you looking for?"
"Sir?"
"Sorry- it's this damn case. Nothing makes sense.
"...What do we do now?"
"Hmm? Err-sweep the perimeter again, I'll check... the house."

now that you mention it, i'm surprised there hasn't been a gimmicky "Internet browser window found-footage" horror movie specifically based around real estate websites.

why is the garage door so tall

Guys...

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1204-S-18th-St-Saint-Louis-MO-63104/2934915_zpid/?fbclid=IwAR2huu7sKv2Nmv8_SlWQEMhBhgzXeA3vHCO6jtixvdTBS2gcioM6cK6Qw_8

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise, what is, it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be, it would, you see. This is entirely bonkers but I'll tell you a secret, all the best houses are. Sunken conversations rise to incredible heights. Tables that clearly show the wonders of the deep. Waterfalls and rooftop gardens. Outside/inside and angles of peculiar destinations. Mirrors that reflect upside down. Bridges that lead to spaces with no faces. Closed windows with light from unexpected places. Somethings real, somethings created - all things coming together to form an unexpected adventure through the mind of a visionary man. This could be your dream and you could decide where it goes from here. Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.
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Listing courtesy of:

Fritz McAvoy

McAvoy Realty

fbclid=IwAR2huu7sKv2Nmv8_SlWQEMhBhgzXeA3vHCO6jtixvdTBS2gcioM6cK6Qw_8

A child kept calling my name while I was looking through that slideshow, but I was never able to find them.