the unstoppable local-biz-swallowing pseudo-monopoly that is AMAZON

wow that was fast. hopefully they keep tweeting dumbass lies

oh, they will

irl lol

Ok, not so thinly sourced!

ken k going ftw. grate graphic too.

I'm beginning to worry that there's a problem with UTIs across the country, given how frequently many of you need a bathroom break?

You really should see doctors about that.

Which you can do if you work full time at an Amazon FC, since we get comprehensive health benefits!

— Lulu at CMH1 📦 (@AmazonFCLulu) March 29, 2021

Waiting for somebody to reveal they got a turd bag accidentally packed in beside their Big Bang Theory BluRays.

Imagine feeling good about tweeting that out, assuming that's not a deep level of parody.

personally I think this new branding strategy is a winner

what brand doesn't want to be immediately associated with piss?

I believe that one's a parody in response to Amazon firing up a bunch of their totally not being held hostage Amazon ambassador accounts to combat the piss bottle stories and union drive.

Okay, yeah, now that I've scrolled further down that timeline, definitely leaning towards parody. Or else her amazon overlords might wanna have her back down a little.

ah ok yeah that's a parody. This one though? https://twitter.com/AmazonFCDarla

How are they so fucking bad at this

The... parodists?

Well, Amazon has been so consistently bad at spin & PR of late that it's a bit difficult to discern even the most ott parodists from the real deal.

If they're not on Sprinklr, it's likely they're not real.

tbc sic I'm 99% sure the one I posted is legit

lol, 5 tweets, 1 of which is apologising for the previous one

I mean "legit" isn't really the right word for this sort of thing, but I don't think this account was made by someone to mock amazon's own-brand fake workers

If you think $30 is all a union will charge us you're crazy! I've heard stories from management about plants where unions come in, make everyone interview for their own jobs again, and in the end they make the same amount but shell out hundreds a year. I'm not that gullible!

— Darla at GYR1 📦 (@AmazonFCDarla) March 29, 2021

🔎

actually never mind, I don't think the ambassador tweeter program exists anymore

Can someone please explain the turtle thing? People keep asking me about turtles, is this a movie reference I'm missing?

— Darla at GYR1 📦 (@AmazonFCDarla) March 29, 2021

🔎🔎🔎

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-49372809

The Amazon ambassadors were posting things just as embarrassing as the parody (and possible parody of Darla) even before the company became one big piss-up.

thank you to amazon for employing 19 year old grandma Rafael, who is 100% real pic.twitter.com/yDJds0VXcD

— pierre menard (@PierreMenard) August 15, 2019

not quite "in defense" of amazon but pissing in bottles is common for people who work deliveries for DHL/UPS ime (having know a few guys who do this for a living)

it's the fulfillment center workers who have to piss in bottles, the drivers are the ones shitting in bags

oh yeah

terrible working conditions without even bathroom breaks are more widespread than just amazon is my point i guess

Absolutely. And anyone spending their work day in a vehicle is going to face this problem. I read a bit about this w/r/t women who drove for uber/lyft sharing tips online about safe bathrooms

It's like Xerox or Kleenox, their brand is tied (for some/many) to terrible workplaces that don't have to be, as Wal-Mart was in the '90s and '00s.

It's easier for people to yell at one name (that keeps shitting itself publicly - Wal-Mart didn't have twitter to deal with) than all of capitalism.

A few years ago I had a Lyft driver who was eight months pregnant and really needed to pee, so she asked if it was okay if she went a few blocks off route to stop at a gas station she trusted and she kept being like super, super apologetic. I was like, "seriously, it's absolutely fine, I don't want you to have to drive around in pain".

I would have thought one of the perks of being an Amazon driver would be getting to piss in a bottle and then pour it out the window on passing motorcyclists or convertibles.

buddy only bezos get to pour his piss bottle on america

The recent official “You don’t really believe the peeing in bottles thing, do you?” tweets were so aggressive that engineers filed internal reports assuming the account had been hacked and were being sabotaged.

^that and this making me feel better about being so confused yesterday: https://www.vice.com/en/article/5dpnb5/twitter-is-banning-amazon-ambassadors-and-its-a-total-mess

More from the Beeb: https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-56581266

it feels wrong to keep this video to myself pic.twitter.com/uQjqHElIr7

— Alex Press (@alexnpress) March 30, 2021

who?

Chet Haze, fresh from heralding a White Boy Summer

Amazon’s Twitter Army Was Handpicked for “Great Sense of Humor,” Leaked Document Reveals

obviously the solution to all this is a new startup called toiletr where everyone rents out their bathrooms

airpee'n'poo

I've long thought that it was downright criminal that well-maintained public restrooms aren't just a basic part of every mid-to-large city's governmental function.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/06/opinion/sunday/public-toilets-united-states.html

It is downright criminal. Nothing worse than having to end a pleasant walk somewhere early and return home because, god forbid, we provide a place for the general public to use a bathroom.

But, America. People are so freaked out by the possible bad things that someone might do in a public restroom that they'd prefer to just revoke it for everyone.

it's not just an American problem tbf. I had to stop chaining my volunteer deliveries for this reason!

I guess I just assumed it was more of an American thing.

Anytime people are visiting from out of town, I have to maintain a mental map of where they can comfortably use a restroom in any part of the city.

America has plenty of public toilets. Like this one:

https://i.imgur.com/0O0Bf9s.png