Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

https://assets.website-files.com/5aece6d7c3605124d5c9c30b/5b5d3e515bb9b02a990e466c_Givebutter%20Logo%20Main.png

Yarraville news @AsFarce: https://t.co/fwyOS6rzVA

— unwanted fuckery (@hailants) March 22, 2021

“I actually put that question to the grade sixes at St Margaret’s Primary School in Maribyrnong, and all 41 kids were very clear that they wouldn’t run onto the road just to look at circles,” he said.

lol

Ordered a book from a second hand place that looked quite good, the type of company you're happy to give business to. And then they emailed this confirmation

(Your book(s) wanted to write you a personal note - it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)

Holy moly! It's me... it's me! I can't believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over half a million books but you picked me! I've got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can't believe I'm leaving Dunfermline, Scotland already!

I can't wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol' brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?

But hey, enough about me, I've been asked to brief you on a few things.

We sent your order to the following address:

And now I dont want to deal with them ever again

that is terrible

that's hands down the worst

omg -- that is so horrible it is hilarious!

Oh dear god.

i would've thought hard about cancelling my order

my heart is breaking imagining the clueless lonely dork stuck in dunfermline behind that

better world books

the first child of results here

child couple

Yeah I didn't want to name names but fuck it, throw them under the bus

this did lead me to this google excerpt gem:

You are so far off base it will be an easy pick-off when the terrorists decide to march ... If your guy wins, good luck in the socialist system you will be living in, Denise! ... It's funny how I can't remember what I had for breakfast, but I can close my eyes and see ... Besides, it's what Kerry did when he returned that makes me sick.

that particular brand of deeply-fucking-irritating has an origin story:

https://sive.rs/cdbe

nnngh

bring me death pic.twitter.com/IwKkNPNl3P

— Luke Bailey (@imbadatlife) June 2, 2021

the crossover event of the century

what bothers me even more is the fact that there do seem to be people who aren't immediately repulsed by this, who think it's cool/cute/funny. i want to believe most of them are bots or paid for their engagement. but brands have been doing so much of this it must be working

Good username, good tweet

These are just slides in the next Amazon antitrust case pic.twitter.com/6xKAuWwaL4

— Edward Ongweso Jr (@bigblackjacobin) June 2, 2021

Brewdog is an Innocent-adjacent aesthetic, perhaps an unpleasant older sibling.

An open letter, to BrewDog. pic.twitter.com/xEd3B83qot

— Punks With Purpose (@PunksWPurpose) June 9, 2021

do we have a "toxic work environment" thread? think we need one if not.

i shouldn't say i'm not surprised because i'm sure many of these egregiously "nice" companies are just as toxic. but i'm not surprised

there is definitely some connection between the superficial opposites of insufferable tweeness and hipster edgelordism (presumably some of the same people involved in marketing). it comes together a bit in some of the more passive aggressive stuff on this thread

disheartening that brewdog actually has a "fanbase" which includes "zealots". it feels like they just kind of forced themselves into the market

the response from brewdog is classic startup cunt boss stuff

Why wait? When you can have the future TODAY! 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/TZSqNCQnvG

— Werewolf Beer - Coming Soon to Camden! 🇺🇸🐺💂 (@WerewolfBeer) June 9, 2021

wanker(s)

the brew dog owners have always seemed like obnoxious posho scottish tory twats tbh

obnoxious posho scottish tory twats in flannel and keffiyehs

brewdog beer is dull as ditchwater

they obviously went to the states and drank a bunch of hoppy ipas and thought that it was exciting to bring that to the uk. which was wrong. autochthonous, stuffy uk real ale culture > "craft beer"

they lost me when they used the word 'ballsy' in the reply

their punk shit is fucking everywhere now, in places you’d never expect to find anything except bad lager and old man ale before. it’s frustrating there are so many better things that could be filling that niche but they’ve been way too successful at taking up all the space

all you can taste is hops and metal

uk beer culture IS hoppy ipas now, it is a fucking atrocity

https://twitter.com/mr_considerate/status/140297256150014771

try again

They’re the Zer0 Books of Brewing. They’re Kill All Normies in a can. This has been obvious for … a decade, maybe?

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) June 10, 2021

I've often bought some of their brands in cans when they are close to the expiry date and marked down to 50p cos I'll drink just about any cheap swillwater and the smaller sized cans is good for walking about with and not looking as much of a pish-head. But it is very unremarkable stuff and I think a big element of their success is more down to distribution than their nauseating marketing and branding. Like has already been said at some point in the last decade, suddenly this stuff was bloody everywhere.

uk beer culture IS hoppy ipas now, it is a fucking atrocity

― imago, Thursday, June 10, 2021 12:06 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

reject modernity, embrace tradition

lager and lime>>>autochthonous, stuffy uk real ale culture > "craft beer"

I get that the banality of the product is part of the shame but tbrr if Brewdog or Innocent made the tastiest shit in the world they'd still be scum and therein lies the point

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20210610/11453246967/oatly-sues-pureoaty-trademark-trade-dress-infringement.shtml

https://i.imgur.com/5UqjWXV.jpg

More proof that oatly are wankers: https://www.theguardian.com/food/2020/sep/01/oatly-vegan-milk-sale-blackstone

Spotify "no one listens like you" ads a new low in this approach imo.

those spotify multimedia analyses of your tastes are so bleak. i assume they happen because they "drive engagement" and "unearned media" but i don't think anyone on earth has ever felt pleasure looking at them.

Dominos new delivery progress bot just did a fake-out joke about there being an error with the order. If you're feeling bad enough to order Dominos then you really don't need that.

Surprised no-one has mentioned the truly awful Innocent advert that is running on UK tv at the moment. The apotheosis of the genre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLcgkY2g3pU

Real "exterminate the brutes" energy that ad

Inevitable deployment of the 'different people speak-sing a line of the song' method of presentation just to add to that energy

While I'm here can i just register my hatred for the current advertising fad of introducing the fictional person in said ad. Idgaf what Georgie/Tom/Dan/Suzy are up to cheers

scum

https://i.imgur.com/muBhiS5.jpg?1

https://i.imgur.com/hkhXh7a.jpg?1

https://i.imgur.com/hj2xH7L.jpg?1