Most pooterish Adrian Chiles column

Feel like they bured the lede here: 'I have been idly wondering what the difference is between shallots and onions for a good 30 years' would have been a great headline.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/17/hamlet-small-village-grandad-generation-google-lockdown

I think Chiles is doing it on purpose now:

Isn't it irenic? It's time to bring back beautiful words we have lost

The lexicographer and etymologist Susie Dent tells me it comes from Eirene, the Greek goddess of peace, who also gives us the name Irene. What a pity, then, that you don’t hear of many Irenes these days. I’m sure my nan knew an Irene, but that’s about it in my life. I searched a list of 50 famous Irenes and hadn’t heard of any of them. However, I’m so glad I looked, because I came across the quite fabulously named actor and director Irene Miracle.

definitely doing it on purpose, yes

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/apr/22/gadgets-should-make-life-easier-so-why-cant-i-turn-on-this-no-touch-tap

It must cause resentment that he's paid for this blather?

I saw that headline and immediately thought of here.

It takes almost as much effort to update chileswriter (tm) as he puts into the columns.

to us mere mortals, frustration at getting a tap to work would be a momentary annoyance, forgotten within five minutes, maximum. to The Chad Chiles, it's worth £5000. makes you think.

The surprising truth about Brexit Britain – the wild garlic smelled lovely, but I didn’t want to die there

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/28/looking-for-a-plastic-free-way-to-discard-dog-poo-i-have-the-answer

fantastic thread. glad to be made aware of this human milquetoast. like jean teasdale of the onion transformed into a middle aged english man.

I want to be this guy’s friend

Adrian Chiles is a Guardian columnist

I always hated Adrian Chiles based solely on his stint as Match of the Day 2 host, but i have to say as this thread has continued i have more and more time for him. The dealbreaker was the immaculate first two paragraphs of the how to deal with dog shite column followed by the start of the third:
"Then I heard from a despairing farmer on my radio show. "

like jean teasdale of the onion transformed into a middle aged english man.

lock ilx

I resolved to heed this call, but, on my next country walk, when the moment came, I could find no means of picking it up. There wasn’t a large leaf in sight.

Adrian mate, flick it with a stick.

I really think it's only a matter of time until Adrian Chiles writes a 'whatever happened to white dog-shite?' column in the Guardian.

tbf if he was writing for the telegraph hed suggest quotas prioritised brown dogshite

"Why we need an inspiring team talk to get us through the pandemic" - Adrian Chiles

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/may/13/why-we-need-an-inspiring-team-talk-to-get-us-through-the-pandemic

He's started channelling his inner David Brent.

I really think it's only a matter of time until Adrian Chiles writes a 'whatever happened to white dog-shite?' column in the Guardian.

Saw some the other day and thought of Adrian Chiles.

xp
someone should finish off the heading for him, it's just slapdash bottom-tier Chiles!

every time you think he can't top his last column, and every time

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/may/26/an-ear-and-nostril-waxing-is-exquisitely-painful-but-just-what-i-needed

haha omg that picture

Hmm, they don't put those "you should pay us money so we can keep doing our valuable journalism" banners under his articles huh

that's a wonderful column, perfect little dose of memoir, this man is my hero

Lol just came here to post this

Of course:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jun/17/my-number-one-fear-in-life-being-boring

Amazing, beautiful.

next time he has a studio audience I hope they can organise themselves to all start yawning at him

breathtaking

It’s one of many reasons I can’t throw parties: one yawn from anyone and I want to throw everyone out.

go on

Thought this revive would be about Edwin Poots

For fans of Adrian Chiles, be sure not to miss his Antipodean counterpart: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/jun/18/my-microwave-door-got-stuck-with-food-inside-and-then-it-started-to-develop-a-malevolent-vibe

https://i.imgur.com/XFkgiYv.jpg

poll options not as enticingly phrased, but 3 Dec is a strong winner

i'm enjoying the laundry horror show tbqf

huge gratitude to this thread for introducing me to 'pooterish,' a perfect word

Chiles def. needs a Lupin Pooter figure to spark off; maybe the student son of his partner. Invent him if he doesn't exist: a columnist's goldmine.

this has definitely been a rookie of the year thread candidate

it's been a real joy to get to know Adrian

I hope one day he finds this thread and sees the joy he has brought.

I'm expecting ledge to end up being interviewed by Adrian Chiles about this.

― Wrote For Lunch (Tom D.), Friday, 5 March 2021 12:14 (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

I'm still assiduously updating the chileswriter but I've refrained from going public with it.

Obviously mike t-diva should also meet the great man.

The straight-razor shave and waxing one…it should honestly be taught in writing classes.

"Humans can be a wonderful species, as I was reminded on a journey to Plymouth last week."

Classic Chiles this week, on inimitable form: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/oct/14/a-stranger-on-a-train-and-a-small-stunning-act-of-kindness

Chiles's columns have also been parodied - rather well - by Craig Brown in the new Private Eye.

He's a master of the en dash.

"parodied - rather well - by Craig Brown"

^^^not having this, brown shd be chased into the thames with a cattleprod

he posted very reasonably

His Beatles Band book is good not bad! As is his Princess Margaret book. His PE parodies are variable, but this one works pretty well. Or maybe I was so thrilled to see it, that critical faculties were suspended...

Chiles is just getting started tbh.

This one is the odd one out. He is playing it straight and political.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/oct/13/in-the-pandemic-27bn-worth-of-was-committed-why-arent-we-angrier

Not that I've read any of it beyond the headlines. But I might read that one.