Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

at this stage lab leadership seems to be just conning melts by promising them they are conning red wall voters instead

10 year prison sentences for defacing statues of murdering slave-traders is absurd and totally wrong.

Today I will be voting against the #PoliceCrackdownBill

— Zarah Sultana MP (@zarahsultana) March 16, 2021

Time to see how kieth is doing with the red wall people is it?

Mike Hill (Labour, Hartlepool) has resigned as a Member of Parliament.

— Britain Elects (@BritainElects) March 16, 2021

Only kept it last time because the brexit party didn't stand down, for some reason.

If anyone is interested, Lab had 15000 and con has 11000 roughly. pic.twitter.com/8CuRKXZ11O

— Matt (@BirnieMatthew) March 16, 2021

I think I can guess how this one's going to play out.

They didn't stand down because that approach nationwide ended up giving the Tories 30-odd seats and a strong majority. I was surprised this wasn't one of them.

didn't they elect a teenager in a monkey costume as their mayor a few years back?

maybe the tory candidate last time out was a vocal remainer? seems unlikely.

I suspect it was mostly down to Richard Tice's ego.

those days of Mandy getting a whopping 17000+ majority from the monkey-hangers will soon be as long forgotten as Hartlepool FC are as a regular L1 fixture.

20 years ago, almost to the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7p8hfaVz6E

Labour sources tipping Dr Paul Williams, former Stockon South MP and current candidate for Cleveland police and crime commissioner, as likeliest bet to win selection https://t.co/AhZawHePbQ

— Patrick Maguire (@patrickkmaguire) March 16, 2021

lol

Can't they just nominate a cardboard cutout of Churchill fucking a flag?

it looks like Dr Paul is mates with ennobled sex pest Woodcock, another ex-Labour with a failed anonymity bid in court after sexual harassment accusations.

Lab might win.

6th govt gain at a by-election since the war coming up pic.twitter.com/YMj2ou3pAq

— John Rentoul (@JohnRentoul) March 16, 2021

how can you deduce which war he's referring to?

since it's Rentoul it could be the War of the Spanish Succession, or the Pelopenesian War, take your pick really

Give it Cranney rest of the season

Cromborne was so bad voters are still booing him 12 months after Kieth has taken the stage

You joke but that is 100% the approach lab leadership are gonna take when elections go bad for them.

they'll be still saying it was Corbyn's toxic legacy that finished him off years from now if he lasts that long, because they are not going to admit how very very wrong they were about what a sharp operator the foremsic QC is!

some of them still go along with the idea that Brown tanked the international banking system, i've got no illusions about how long Jermy will be an excuse for

We can't afford to feed the poor and yet

On Nuclear Weapons ☢️

Britain will lift the cap on the number of warheads it can stockpile, from 180 to 260

— The Times (@thetimes) March 16, 2021

Disgusting.

The #PoliceCrackdown Bill is an assault on the right to protest. We will not be silenced speaking out. pic.twitter.com/dPaoBPh0yk

— Apsana Begum MP (@ApsanaBegumMP) March 16, 2021

uh lol?

EXCL by @PippaCrerar - Tory chiefs 'pull plug' on funding for Shaun Bailey’s London mayor campaignhttps://t.co/8Gcxzam3eQ

— Dan Bloom (@danbloom1) March 16, 2021

brain feels foggy, scrambled and sick tbh, what are we truly up against

even a diseased regime that considers talking up an extra 80 US nukes added to the arsenal and one new aircraft carrier and some spurious talk about military AI bollox = "scientific superpower" is realistic enough to know the limits of Shaun Bailey.

Was just treated to James Cleverley saying nuke-ular over and over again on Newsnight. The dumb prick.

Just popping in here to SHOUT"FOR FUCK'S SAKE" at the top of my Internet lungs

^sent down for 6 years, was v sad

Sorry, was that too annoying?

Keir Starmer's net favourability rating has fallen below Boris Johnson's for the first time since May 2020 - when Starmer had just taken over and the government was enjoying its COVID bounce

Starmer 👍31% 👎49% (net -18)
Johnson 👍41% 👎52% (net -11)https://t.co/BdEjlgRMdm pic.twitter.com/XJM9FKbhEL

— YouGov (@YouGov) March 17, 2021

lol Minus fucking 18 now!! "it's an outlier is that poll and the vaccine bounce" Remember when L666s Utd started on -15 and still got to the Wembley playoff final (and got beaten by Doncaster Rovers). It sucks a bit having a quivering establishment marionette like Kieth who somehow contrives to be almost as *unpopular* as Jezza was

ARIA will not be covered under FOI

I asked Dominic Cummings if he considered eugenics a science and does it need more research?

He seemed to pivot quite quickly.

Find out who what he said @CommonsSTC👇🏾 pic.twitter.com/MxyjtGFqxf

— Dawn Butler MP✊🏾💙 (@DawnButlerBrent) March 17, 2021

(1)Labour stumble into a nuclear bait-and-switch : John Healey announces nukes are great, to win over the red faced men. Then Boris increases the Nukes : So the Sun and Mail both attack Boris for being too Nuke-happy , leaving Labour outside the conversation. pic.twitter.com/WFMnOCy5yO

— Solomon Hughes (@SolHughesWriter) March 17, 2021

as Hughes says here, you might be quite surprised to see The Mail quoting the Iranian foreign minister to highlight the hypocrisy of Boris in today's paper.

important we don't miss out on growth deals

+UPDATE+

FCO staff have been instructed to communicate to LDC countries that post Brexit-Britain will no longer be concerned with adherence to ILO rules including those pertaining to child Labour or worker safety as part of the UKs “global Britain” strategy & break with the EU.

— Nick🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@nicktolhurst) March 17, 2021

disregarding international labour standards is very global indeed, just need to do away with domestic standards next.

Is it time for a progressive alliance in Hartlepool? https://t.co/QWLV0dgoX2

— The New European (@TheNewEuropean) March 17, 2021

I have wiped most of december 2019 out of my memory but not this part of it. Fucking jokers.

A happy and safe St. Patricks day to all Irish people in Islington North and around the world.

Let's hope for a year of peace and happiness, and continue to work for the full implementation of the Good Friday Agreement.#StPatricksDay

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) March 17, 2021

Kieth didn't even mention the GFA in his

he did a moving eulogy for the Diplock courts tho

If I could pass a law on jokes I would make a law that jokes had to be funny.

Joke rhymes with woke COINCIDENCE OR CONSPIRACY?

— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) March 17, 2021

it's not every day you get your mind blown

I'm told Labour's Hartlepool selection process has produced a longlist of one. No confirmation from party so far.

— Sienna Rodgers (@siennamarla) March 18, 2021

two's a crowd one is a longlist

This gimp they've chosen knows fuck all about the area and was a Remain ultra. They aren't even trying.

Mandy was talking up what tough guys him and Blair were, with no reference to their mayoral candidate getting beaten by a football mascot in a monkey costume.

Let’s not forget, Jeremy Corbyn’s first by-election was Oldham West and Royton. Another “Labour Heartland” Red Wall seat in the post-industrial north.

Labour won with a 7.3% increase in their vote. That’s the bar for Starmer in Hartlepool.

— connor 🤝 (@C_Slomski) March 18, 2021

👀👀👀

You have 1 million followers. You knew, or should have known, that you were sending a bunch of tankie shitposters my way and this is your justification? Imagined hypocrisy? Wind your neck in.

— Dorian Lynskey (@Dorianlynskey) March 18, 2021

Lol, guy’s a prick and a half

i started to pull at the threads of that and jesus my life's worth more