There Will Not Be Blood: What Menopause Means to You

Here’s another symptom I didn’t know was a thing - itching! My boss was itching like crazy last year. She is 47 so went to the doc and the itching was hormonal! She’s perimenopausal but she thought she was too young and was shocked.

sadly the kavanaugh shit was fall 2018! i completely lost it around then too and went back on the HBC shortly afterward. i don't plan to ever stop taking it bc the PMDD is still there it's just not as bad. i am actually quite worried about what menopause will do to my emotional state.

She went out after work with girlfriends for a drink and mentioned that her dry skin was driving her nuts and they were all like oh uh . . .

xp esp as i am trying to rebuild life after losing my longtime job that i felt very strongly about
i guess we'll see!

i do have a weird itch on my head that won't go away!!!

Thankfully that’s one factor I won’t have to wonder about. I’ve had a copper IUD since 2006 and haven’t been on hormonal birth control since college.

Good grief, so that took two years (there were other complicating factors, so it wasn't just menopause). I do remember us losing it together. <3 xp

My mom was really good about prepping me for it because she felt rough through hers, and I had really bad fibroids starting in my late 30s which were so awful/huge I had to have a hysterectomy three years ago (kept the ovaries though, for the hormones).

I was dreading menopause because my aunt got such bad hot flashes she steamed up the windows of any car she was in when it happened. Even after the hysterectomy I would have ridiculous hot flashes but they seem to have stopped.

Symptoms I have known:

- CONSTANT fatigue and something I learned is called "crashing fatigue" where I have to just go lie down because I'm overwhelmed to the point of feeling drugged
- hot flushes/being overly hot esp at night
- copious, heavy sweating (i suspect alcohol aggravates that)
- dry eyes to the point they feel like there is grit in them
- phantom cramps
- really sore boobs
- occasional flashes of irrational, uncontrollable anger and/or upsetness a la PMT
- aching joints (this one might just be general poor fitness/too much drinking heh)

Vitamin D, zinc, magnesium. All helped me.

I also had the breast tenderness for the whole summer of 2019 (I thought I was pregnant trr).

Re flashes of irritation: How would you know?? I'm irritable at the best of times. :D

Aching joints were a horrible problem for me all last winter & spring & summer. I just started getting better recently by dealing with the inflammatory effects + moving and stretching more. I'm taking daily turmeric & Vit D now.

I'll def give the supplements a go, certainly cant hurt.

Magnesium did actually hurt me; apparently some people are sensitive to it. It made my heart skip like crazy and I couldn't exercise for a summer until I figured out what was going on. I think that's pretty rare but just a heads up.

Way to bury the lede, horseshoe!!!! So happy for you <3 <3 <3 if anyone is going to parent I'm glad it's you and your partner (who I don't know but I trust you implicitly).

thanks, io! wanting to get pregnant is so weird and vulnerable and also seems totally irrational given...the world. and yet! he and i feel v lucky/happy.

IO right? That’s how I felt when I realized. :)

When I was a kid it seemed unbearably embarrassing to me to think about being seen to be pregnant bc it would force everyone to acknowledge that you had had sex. :D

I don't know how long I was in the peri part, maybe 6 years? I would get horribly painful skin eruptions in the weirdest places a day or two before flow would start (tentative diagnosis: testosterone influx) and it was (oddly for me) copious. I switched to cloth pads and period underwear to see if I was reacting to something in tampons and commercial pads, which helped some. But then things went off the rails and those outbreaks got more frequent. Nothing helped prevent them. Mystified doctor. Hair started thinning dramatically (this freaked me out more than anything else for some reason). Hot flashes and dramatic blushing at nothing, always worse when I drank. Husband is diabetic and wanted to try a Whole30 and paleo eating, so we did that. And the hot flashes stopped and no outbreaks for multiple months.

No idea if it was no more alcohol or what but the relief was worth just sticking with it. A year later I had a knee injury and at the doctor for that she asked when my last period had been...and had been 6 months. She wrote down post-menopausal. I was 53 then and that was that. No more periods.

7 years later and now I have my first IUD because last April I had some odd discharge that turned out to be pre-pre-endometrial cancer and a little direct progesterone can keep that at bay. I had to use estrogen cream for a few weeks prior to insertion and felt like absolute crap from it but all's good now. I like the basic even-keel-ness of postmenopausal existence after so many years of mood swings.

Congratulations horseshoe!!!

I mean that’s why I still feel weird when people say they’re trying. I know I shouldn’t but there will always be a part of me that’s like hee hee you’re doing it!

thanks, Jaq!

i resent menopause in advance for trying to take booze away from me!

It can take booze out of my hot, flushed, sweaty fingers. Fuck that.

Haha thats my eternal struggle. Ive cut back a lot on drinking, but yeah.

Now that recreational weed is legal, I don't miss it (much). But yeah.

It's not taking my nightly glass or two of wine, that's for sure.

My mother sailed smoothly through menopause. Hopefully, I will too.

Here’s another symptom I didn’t know was a thing - itching! My boss was itching like crazy last year

I did not know this was a thing until now ... i had awkward itching/rashes this past summer/fall (which, I guess I am grateful to covid because no one could see me scratch/avoid it ... I am now a natural fibers snob when it comes to bedding and sleepwear (mostly) ... I have been 100% cotton only in re underwear for several years because prior to that I would have a WAP of the monistat required variety

omg congrats horseshoe!!

Sarahel - yeah I had no idea but I’ve seen it mentioned since this came up with her. Apparently it’s a real thing!

See I know my mom took HRT and that it helped but she also got post menopausal breast cancer which I think had a link to HRT? This is what I need to research.

A paternal aunt was the only immediate family member of mine to go through non-surgical menopause - my mom and her 3 sisters all had hysterectomies while in their late 30s. She was thankfully easy to talk to about it. I've tried to be open with my daughter so hopefully it won't all be a surprise.

I wouldnt know if I had meno related itching, I have such bad eczema... which hang on, started flaring up about 18 months ago. hm.

Sarahell's ref to monistat reminded me - the thinning hair for me turned out to be related to seborrheic dermatitis caused by an overgrowth of some scalp-loving yeast. This resolved by using shampoo containing ketoconazole, which is similar to another azole found in monistat etc. And in addition to killing yeasts, azoles also make hair grow.

I guess I've been peri for a couple of years now and...is there any diagnosable or physical marker of when you're "done"? Aiui medically you're considered "menopausal" when you simply haven't had a period for a year, which seems like quite a backward way to ascertain what's happening inside our bodies??

actually according to my medical provider -- yes, it is pretty much backwards in just that way

Yeah same. Maybe an egg count? My last was during an internal ultrasound and I was told I had "2 left, but some might be hiding" (!? I assume he just meant the scan cant always see everything)

Dont know if that is a medically viable approach though.

Enbb inspired me to ask my mum some questions - she was around 50 and it was uneventful, just much heavier bleeding. The dr wanted to get her a mirena iud to help with that but then it stopped before the appointment was arranged. This has turned out to be very helpful info bc I was considering getting a tubal ligation after my iud is due to come out at the end of this year but now I think I’ll just get another one put in.

Congrats horseshoe!

No one has ever offered or tried to measure my remaining eggs. I mean I never asked either but it would be cool to know?

I feel like maybe the last one deserves a going-away party? That is what I would do if I had that information.

thanks kinder and just1n3!

I find the idea of a last egg going away party delightful!

Is the egg count an invasive test? I’d be curious to know mine too, just for the sake of it

omg last egg bon voyage party!! ... now I'm thinking about the thematic menu for said party ...

this is a great idea, it's like the antithesis of gender reveals

Husband is diabetic and wanted to try a Whole30 and paleo eating, so we did that. And the hot flashes stopped and no outbreaks for multiple months.

Oh I also wanted to say, in relation to Jaq's post, that my hot flashes also seemed stress-affected. I was having them way more while I was working but since I got out of that job they're negligible & infrequent. More likely to be me throwing off the duvet if it gets too warm than "need to stand literally in a freezer to compensate."

xp haha I know! I was just pondering how many eggs it would be healthy to consume on one occasion.

Le ultimate oeuf at least deserves a fruit basket for making it to the last train out of town.

And deviled eggs. There should definitely be deviled eggs.

omg yes!

That reminds me: I need to make a gynecologist appointment. My sister just had a hysterectomy for fibroids and I'm almost envious of her. I had endometrial ablation a couple years ago to cope with fibroids and really heavy flows, but my endometrium grew back like a weed. Our mother didn't complete menopause until 58; I could be in for several more years of this.

The one i had (and I didnt know they'd count them either! it was a more general gyno checkup) was an internal US and those are... quite invasive and unpleasant. Not painful, but embarrasing for sure.

Eh I have to get that type of ultrasound when I get an iud put in anyway. Maybe I’ll ask about it then.

Justine - there are non-invasive ways to test egg reserve. The levels of AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) indicate the size of your egg reserve. It measures quantity not quality but it can be added to any blood panels and is a good thing to know imo. I want to get it done again soon.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/rmanetwork.com/blog/anti-mullerian-hormone-amh-testing-of-ovarian-reserve/amp/

Xps linen is expensive but really good for keeping cool

Hmm I haven’t heard of it causing itchiness (that’s usually wool). Does it feel like an allergy type of itchy or is it more sensory?

Sensory. I have the same thing with some types of wool.

Maybe look for cotton-linen blends, they’ll probably feel a little softer/smoother

Thank you! Yes! I have a few and love them, also in re blankets