Damage ContrLOLz 2: LOL Harder

7:00: Okay, T-Bone! Time for some serious crunching!

I'm using Windows
Windows, Windows 386
So all my app-li-cations are running at once
My report right now, is scattered all over my desk
W-w-w-windows will pull these files together real quick
I got pieces in one spreadsheet
I got pieces in another
I got pieces that have never been close to one another
Some are in the da-ta-base where things are pretty stuffy
Some are in the word pro-cess-or, that's where it gets fluffy(?)
W-w-windows, W-w-windows, Windows 386
Will pull these parts together and do it mighty quick
I'll cut and paste, cut-and-paste until it's in Pagemaker
Then I'll slick it up to be T-Bone's heartbreaker.

(Linda takes off her clothes)

"Here's the spreadsheet data you asked for Linda..."

WILLIAM!

"Linda! Uh-oh. These are 1-2-3 files. That doesn't look like 1-2-3."

8:13 - It's Na-Na-Not!
1-2-2-2-3! But don't wo-rry Will-iam, just hand the disk to me!
BARK BARK BARK
I got! Several applications looking mighty slick
Running un-der Win-dows 386!
BARK BARK BARK
In one of the win-dows I've got 1-2-2-2-3
Running at the same time as the others, can't you see?
BARK BARK BARK
I can cut and paste your files in-to my report
Or I can make them look bet-ter with Mi-cro-soft Chart
Charts is Charts is Charts is what I got
CYMBAL SPLASH
Now I'm gonna show you how to make the thing look hot!
BARK

"I'm in accounting! Nothing ever looks hot!"

SYNTH SOLO

Stand! Back William, stand b-b-b-back
Windows 386! IS ON THE ATTACK!

CYMBAL SPLASH, SYNTH SOLO CONTINUES WITH VAGUE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE INTERPOLATIONS AND VINYL SCRATCHING

"Wooooooow..."

forks, i'm really sorry but we're going to need you to use your 386 to update that draft. we LOVE the hyphens, but there aren't enough of them! Linda's song should have hyphens between each-and-ev-e-ry-syll-a-ble. Due-by-end-of-Day!

w-w-w-why

So many urges to say out loud "MOM! Like, OMG stop! Ughhh seriously oh my GAWD mom please"

WATCH: Police in Karachi, Pakistan are training an armed rollerblading unit to better prevent theft and harassment on its streets. pic.twitter.com/IX5CrM6tep

— CBS News (@CBSNews) February 23, 2021

For a few seconds, the generic background music in this Reuters video sounds like it's going to resolve into a rendition of North American Scum. Just so you're not as disappointed as I was, let me tell you up front that it takes a different musical direction. But don't let that detract from your enjoyment of the rollerskating cops of Karachi.

Some serious Police Academy vibes in portions of that clip

a rollerblade jumping over a motorcycle forever

sorry but cops never equal lolz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpKxtTPQ1Q8

pic.twitter.com/SqpRgdZf5E

— 𐑤𐑨 𐑐𐑩𐑤𐑐𐑦𐑵𐑩 (@la_polpino) March 16, 2021

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zb5gKw6q3o

I see your blessed vacation and raise you a helicopter ride pic.twitter.com/KUOaFpEGLD

— avery💝s data📝charts📈& finance💹✊🌹 (@averygrrl) October 28, 2020

ha, that's awesome

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NUJQxNj_jo

They added a roundabout in rural eastern Kentucky pic.twitter.com/tkb19bTEuK

— Oregon Rolled A 20 (I Do Stick Figures) (@OregonRolledA20) April 25, 2021

aaaagh

https://twitter.com/i/events/1389710145249157122?s=20

https://pbs.twimg.com/semantic_core_img/1389710415836319745/0H8K2G_M?format=jpg&name=small

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLI-X4HldmQ

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E2KhyGZXoAMEUsj?format=jpg&name=900x900

pic.twitter.com/nmU6VHGE0U

— Geoff Bisente (@GeoffBisente) June 3, 2021

love it

Brilliant

I'm not going to even look, just guess.... does he remove each page, one-by-one, from the back instead of the front?

Because I saw the same gag with a construction worker last week.

yr no fun pplains

that was great

I see that so much now though! The same bit getting repeated over and over again by different people. And no one seems to mind!

It's like a global version of this conversation.

https://i.imgur.com/vXlsoBA.jpg

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/196650252_10157712933096227_8941164341357829366_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=ebY0GhmlITwAX_fqtrm&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=52147d4aa7171c7855e814f366b29f82&oe=60E86312

hee hee

who did this pic.twitter.com/NsAeH0HEJm

— Jason S. Canon (@uncanonical) October 26, 2018

...

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oh ffs, forks.

lmao i had to count

nice!

95 reeses nailed to a door but a mensch ate one

ok 96 reeses, then a mensch ate one

Respect to the true pioneers of the UK grime scene. pic.twitter.com/g3x4NAMvXw

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) September 28, 2021

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/police-warn-public-not-approach-13230681

equal parts lol and O_o

love is love is love ❤️ https://t.co/dpSqMOAWgU

— giabuchi (@jaboukie) October 17, 2021

pic.twitter.com/cbT6lc8E4x

— Bad Vaccine Takes (@BadVaccineTakes) November 21, 2021

"It's def possible !"

Now that's a Hot (Burrito) Take.

How The Grinch Stole Someone’s BBL Appointment pic.twitter.com/0I5ieqHVUQ

— Richard Nevels 🏁 (@Richie_l0c0) December 6, 2021

pic.twitter.com/GnZ0491RuE

— Will (@iamwillb_) December 6, 2021

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JPGxefdbHc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSAp9sBzPbc

u have to LOVE to WORK pic.twitter.com/fv5bb5fJpQ

— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) March 9, 2022

i'm literally the only one who posts anything to this graveyard of a thread anymore but i gotta put it somewhere

In 1663, the partial fossilised skeleton of a woolly rhinoceros was discovered in Germany. This is the “Magdeburg Unicorn”, one of the worst fossil reconstructions in human history. pic.twitter.com/rmV1vcB3LY

— Brian Roemmele (@BrianRoemmele) August 14, 2022

Lmao! That looks like a far side cartoon.

it totally does lmao

10/10 unicorns proven
also that Rick Astley pitch-bend makes it sound like Front 242 which is a very good thing

lol, thank you so much for that unicorn. Amazing.

Imagine your kid can’t talk yet and they’re already making fun of you

pic.twitter.com/geDlwNQGy3

— PointsBet Sportsbook (@PointsBetUSA) September 15, 2022