should ilxors be tempbanned for taking their beefs to other social media? (twitter/fbook/myspace/etc)?

one of the roles they've played is driving other posters off it for good

"given how invested they seem in the board "

Really? They're invested in only one or two threads, and only rarely show up anywhere else. They're not an active part of the community. Now, it's not that someone should, mind, but it also shouldn't be a question of if, and if so how much, someone is "invested". Let alone whatever role one has played in the past. No-one should get a pass for awful behaviour.

yeah fair enough. and i certainly try to stay out of their crosshairs so, you know, props once again to the posters who stood up to them. but they just seem very unhappy. the whole thing bums me out.

many people have over the years criticised sexism, ablism, racism and homophobia etc when they have appeared on ilx, and definitely there have been shifts in what is considered acceptable language and comportment over time. this has often involved conflict, fallings out, bad behaviour etc. This is all necessary to change. The alternative is assuming that people should have to put up with abusive behaviour from other posters or leave. And many have. So, as in all other areas of life, whatever positive changes have been made have not been (1) without some fallout, (2) driven by the frustration of some on the receiving end and (3) enabled by others willingness to learn (even if this was not always obvious immediately)

its true that it takes time and conflict to change habits of language and behaviour and that this is unfair and exhausting for those to whom it is left to initiate that conflict.

I think in this instance it is quite obvious that the poster in question has refused to learn anything from how their abusiveness is received by individuals and the board at large. In this most recent exchange they have once again dug their heels in and refused to see their role in any of this and have once again painted themselves of the victim. If this were a first instance i would be prepared to give them more time to reflect as its often hard to simply accept criticism in the heat of an argument, but this is part of a pattern that has gone on for years and has not to-date prompted any reflection or changed their behaviour in any meaningful way.

I agree that they seem very unhappy, but I don't think sacrificing more posters to be their punching bag next time is going to make them any happier.

I've said it before, I have a big killfile in my eyeballs and I can seemingly scroll past endless content that seems boring or nasty. However I recognise this is not the same for everyone, and in particular the way people have been targeted and bullied over the years has had a prolonged detrimental effect. banning them now is probably not going to bring back any posters they've driven away but it will stop them driving away any more.

They would find somewhere else to be like this. They don’t seem to get anything good out of it and other people shouldn’t have to take it

Going to say my piece on this once and then if we decide that it’s Chinatown and we aren’t ever going to be willing to do anything about it I guess I will go back to just pressing the button every few months, but if for no other reason I at least want to make it more difficult for them to conveniently paint all this as some personal campaign of gyac’s (more difficult in theory, I mean: in practice they didn’t even acknowledge the other people who spoke up in that thread because they do not give a shit about the feelings of other people)

I also stay out of their way and have never personally been a target, and I used to defend them as a difficult person who nevertheless had things to contribute. I thought the issue was just one of “shitting up threads” with their tantrums when in fact it was what everyone was saying: toxic, abusive, bullying. itt we have an example, trying to paint someone as delusional and then flagrantly lying about it in the face of evidence. I know the word gaslighting gets used carelessly but this is at least in the neighbourhood of the proper definition no?

And it’s not just this go-round, I have seen them behave appallingly to people who do not deserve it so many times - in one case among the cruellest shit I’ve ever seen on this board. And it’s probably not my place to say so but the list of non-male posters who I know for a fact feel unable to post in that “no boys” thread because of this one person is not a short one - isn’t this something we should be concerned about?

Sorry but this weekend really pissed me off. They don’t give a fuck who they hurt. Everyone who isn’t branwell goes under the bus. Enough is enough, don’t let them back in.

otm

xp, wins' post happened while I was typing, unrevised text follows:

I agree that they seem very unhappy

The poster in question often talks/types about how they are much happier irl these days, which is good to hear. They also often type about how actively refusing to consider, let alone modify, the ways that their words and behaviour cause in-the-moment distress or ongoing hurt to other people on ILX, helps them feel happy here.

They have, in previous decades, been an interesting and thoughtful poster engaging on a variety of topics, while also apparently being personally distressed and hurt by discussion here (when, to be sure, the level of discourse was about 900% cuntier in general). If they're happy elsewhere now, and only enjoy engaging with approx. two posters on one thread each here, maybe their net happiness would remain the same by not posting?


20 FPs in a day or two for saying - in the defensive heat of the moment or not - that they refuse to think about specific other posters as people, and gaslighting and projecting, seems a great indicator that the lowered threshold is working. A pre-emptive mod permaban in this instance might be both excessive and unnecessary, depending on whether the poster wanders off for one of their regular breaks and is happy elsewhere, and/or quadruples down next time they return.

But a permaban probably wouldn't surprise more than one remaining poster.

i cant process that last double negative

(flambo values and engages with BB's current posting style on one thread, and might not see the clusterfucks and abusiveness, so could possibly be surprised. sarahell has diligently and thoughtfully attempted to support BB's modes of communication, and shape discussions to include them, in the last year, but is obv well aware of this current conversation. everyone else who pays enough attention to this social space to notice a banning would one hundo get it.)

ok ty

i think it would be kind of cruel to ban this specific poster from ilx, given how invested they seem in the board and what a large role they've played in its history.

True. Why, the poster in question has played an integral role in this thread alone for nearly a decade already so it would be a shame if we weren't able to document another ten years of infractions.

A pre-emptive mod permaban in this instance might be both excessive and unnecessary

It’s a problem if we always view it as “this instance” when we are talking about a decade-long pattern of abusive behaviour with occasional breaks

Thats absolutely accurate and key and is almost never faced squarely on these unrare occasions

Making one poster a constant special case is as much as telling the forty other posters in that time who have been that day's chosen cause of all the world's ills that they are not special enough cases

that's valid enough of the time to have held up, but on more than a handful of occasions it's been damaging and unfair on other users who deserved consideration

this feels like a case of "missing stair" where we've excused the behavior for years, but after telling Brad "I have too many dogs in this fight, and as far as I can see you have none" in the transgender thread a few years ago, I feel like that was the final straw.

For sure, it’s all egregious. I think this all grows out of their real belief system though, whether that makes all this better, worse, or the same, idk.

We live in a society iirc

I'm free to believe whatever I want to believe within the sanctity of my own mind but if, upon externalizing those beliefs, I cause real-world harm which I refuse to take ownership of, I shouldn't be surprised when real-world consequences follow.

when i'm pretty sure when people eat u, they get e coli, right?

You are what you eat iirc.

ilxors should get 8 FPs removed every time they take their beef to myspace tbh

You eat what you are tbh

tweat

there goes my FP up over my dn
oh my

F+P Music Factory: Gonna Make You Tweat

just adding to the "permaban this time please" chorus

xp My final straw was when they got religion (briefly) and told all of us nonbelievers not to talk about our lack of belief on ILX. That was 10 years ago. They take every new idea and diagnosis as proof of their superiority.

They've had a hard life. They're damaged. They've been given every opportunity to break the vicious cycle and stop hurting other people. She needs to go away and stop hurting us.

(I didn't see the misgendering in the last sentence, and I apologize for it.)

this feels like a case of "missing stair" where we've excused the behavior for years, but after telling Brad "I have too many dogs in this fight, and as far as I can see you have none" in the transgender thread a few years ago, I feel like that was the final straw.

― if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Monday, February 22, 2021 8:02 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao i forgot about this. in retrospect what the fucking fuck

I came out as NB on Discord two months ago and on FB one month ago. I took so long to come out here because I was afraid that they would notice and try to make everything all about themselves again.

sarahell has diligently and thoughtfully attempted to support BB's modes of communication, and shape discussions to include them, in the last year,

??? how should I respond to this??

i'd say positively— you're trying to make space for someone that no one else has been able to make space for, or is through with, and that isn't a mark against you, more a mark against them that you've had to take the energy and time to make that space.

in any case, i was away during many of these previous incidents with said person, and don't remember much about them on the boards when they had a different user/dn, so i have little fur to lose in this situation, except they seem to be exceptionally awful imo.

Ugh, not totally following the latest wrinkle, tried to peek at the relevant thread for a second, although I don’t even feel comfortable reading it so I stopped, but just want to say I am sorry for those who are having to deal with this (again).

what are we talking about itt?

ALSO still waiting for an apology here

lol ... that reminds me of that classic post with GWB aboard the aircraft carrier ... like we are all treeshy's "colorful friends"

― sarahell, Sunday, February 21, 2021 9:15 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

this picture is really cracking me up its like a dream bush is having abt when everything works out just how he planned and all his colorful friends are congratulating him
― ice cr?m, Monday, December 1, 2008 12:05 PM

― sarahell, Sunday, February 21, 2021 9:18 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

i apologize for remembering your post fondly and riffing on it. i apologize for comparing ilxor treeship to former president George W Bush. i apologize for comparing ilxors to aircraft carrier staff in the context of us being treeship's "messageboard people"

(table read my meaning right)

Any time I post something cool on ILX, treeship tweets about it.

Oh wait. That's lag∞n who does that.

no it's me

this whole thread is going on my shit_ilx_says account

I read sics post as only positive sarahell

I think sarahell is very thoughtful and does a great job

never really beefed with the ilxor in question thank god except one time I ended up calling them the "mayor mccheese of suicide" which I don't remember the specifics and probably regretful

im sorry but lol

literal irl lol

is there something you can be the "mayor mccheese" of that would not be lol tho? not to diminish matt's very well earned lol.

i mean tbh, i just went through any number of possibility in my head, it felt like i was trying to title a bunch of Prurient albums.

never really beefed with the ilxor in question thank god except one time I ended up calling them the "mayor mccheese of suicide" which I don't remember the specifics and probably regretful

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, February 22, 2021 1:17 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

best thing i've read on here for a while. going on my tumblr

omg Prurient -- that reminds me of when Prurient was touring w/Merzbau a couple years ago, and I forget what the context was, but Merzbau blocked our friend s1nuba on twitter for ... I forget why ... but his comment was something like "Merzbau disapproved" and we spent like an hour making memes of random images and putting "Merzbau disapproved" on them.