Kim Gordon thinks Cobain was murdered

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Apparently Kim Fields is about to hold a press conference where she plans to announce that Kurtwood Smith gave JoJo Cobian a government-created dose of the clap.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 02:27 (eighteen years ago) link

dude that was the least coherent post I've ever read and I've been here a while and shit

just sayin'

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Thursday, 10 November 2005 02:50 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: The film doesn't explain why Kurt killed himself. Can you?

GORDON: I don't even know that he killed himself. There are people close to him who don't think that he did...

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that JoJo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling is loosely based on Richard Pryor's own life?

GORDON: I do, yes.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:12 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: penis

GORDON: Flash, aa-aaaah! He saved every one of us!

UNCUT: sausage

GORDON: Trust the Gordon's fisherman.

― Fellow Player Alonger, Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:16 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Shall we go, then?

GORDON: Yes, let's go.

They do not move.

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:30 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: You're forgetting one thing

GORDON: What's that?

UNCUT: Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:41 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: I am uncut.

GORDON: Me too.

UNCUT: Do you believe a theory?

GORDON: I have evidence.

BEAN COBIAN: I am jojo.

GORDON: Your dad was murdered.

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:49 (eighteen years ago) link

YAKOV: IN SOVIET RUSSIA, MURDER DADS YOU!

UNCUT: That is very fascinating

JOJO BEAN: I AM DOGFACE BOY

JOE PISCOPO: smell my panties

GORDON: FUCK OFF

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:58 (eighteen years ago) link

GORDON: I WAS THE ONE WHO MURDERED.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:59 (eighteen years ago) link

GORDON HAS A BEER AND CHEETS ON HIS WIFE

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:01 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: So, after all that has happened, who do you think murdered jojo's father?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

dying here

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

JOJO Gordon-Bean: YOU ARE UNCUT.

UNCUT: I am, yes.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:07 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: But setting that aside, what do you think really happened?

JJG-B: YOU ARE UNCUT

UNCUT: ok you got me

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Kim Mathers and actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("Third Rock from the Sun") have apparently united in an effort to educate the public about the fact that beans can lead to suicide-by-AIDS.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:08 (eighteen years ago) link

In a story that may or may not be related, Gordons Gano and Shumway have given an exclusive interview to Bikini that reveals their shared belief that Lil' Kim sent a harmless AIDS-o-Gram to Kurt Schilling (sic).

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:13 (eighteen years ago) link

GORDON: Eww, it looks like a pig in a blanket.

UNCUT: ;o(

― amon (eman), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:14 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: S

>GORDON goes south.

>You are in a stately mansion. Exits are N and W. You see: COBAIN, a SHOTGUN.

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN

>What do you want to kill COBAIN with?

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN with shotgun

>GORDON shoots COBAIN

― zebedee (zebedee), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:40 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread is murder. Launch a criminal investigation already.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:41 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost, ha ha Infocom.

UNCUT: LAUNCH criminal investigation

> I'm sorry, I can't do that right now.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:46 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you want to come back to my place?

GORDON: I thought you'd never ask.

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

This is an ex-thread.

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.jerzbear.com/media/music/images/17648f.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Kurt was killed by someone else?

GORDON: It was Il Duce in the loft with the shotgun!

UNCUT: By deuce you've done it again, Holmes.

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:49 (eighteen years ago) link

hey, this thread got way better.

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:52 (eighteen years ago) link

jesus i'm crying

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"I didn't do it!"

http://www.nrk.no/img/376318.gif

(#1 google image search result for "courtney love", btw)

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:14 (eighteen years ago) link

she needs an adams apple

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:15 (eighteen years ago) link

lolz

― rentboy (rentboy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:20 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah he definitely killed himself

― gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:25 (eighteen years ago) link

*collapsing in tears of laughter*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:33 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: 'twas beauty who killed the beast.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:44 (eighteen years ago) link

KIM GO-GO Jordan: or...er, perhaps not.

UNCUTE: yeah.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:45 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you believe Mojo Jojo killed Mojo Nixon?

GORDON: I do, yes.

UNCUT: WATERGATE.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

"Didn't do it! Nope!'

http://www.deansplanet.com/images/celebs/broads/courtney_love/kurts_mistake/scary_courtney_07.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"Tell me, was it Courtney?"

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

it's really too much, I shouldn't read this in public!

― Jacobs (LolVStein), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Kurt Cobain's childhood dream that Kim Gordon is his mother comes true in Heaven.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

"Mommy you won't let them kill me, will you?"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

"Darling, they already have..."

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

(cue eerie music)

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:30 (eighteen years ago) link

"So my daughter CocoBean has been taking to a...g-g-GHOST!?!"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Buzz around the magazine industry is that the upcoming issue of Sam Goody's in-house magazine Request will contain a controversial interview where Courtney Cox reveals that she believes that NASCAR legend Jeff Gordon kidnapped her daughter, Coco Cox-Arquette, and filmed a D.I.Y. "AIDS is good for you" PSA with rock spawn Kim Stewart.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 23:11 (eighteen years ago) link

"Of corz I dinnint do dat, no?!"

http://www.strangecelebrities.com/images/content/101530.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Friday, 11 November 2005 05:30 (eighteen years ago) link

ten years pass...

I've settled into being agnostic when it comes to whether or not Kurt was murdered, thinking about it just puts me in a bad mood... I think there are equally compelling arguments on both sides. But these new pictures of the gun he used are really fucking me up... Look at how long that thing is. How the fuck do you shoot yourself in the head with that thing without using your toe? (he had his shoes on...)

http://nypost.com/2016/03/18/kurt-cobains-suicide-gun-revealed-for-the-first-time/

― flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 16:40 (eight years ago) link

otm. that's insane. you would have to be stretch armstrong.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 18 March 2016 16:56 (eight years ago) link

they should have had Sarah Palin pose with it

― There was a hole bunch of problems whit his campaigns (crüt), Friday, 18 March 2016 17:12 (eight years ago) link

did they ever explain how they thought he used that gun? there is one way I can think of to pull the trigger, but it's sort of difficult and there would be evidence that this was the method.

― Poliopolice, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:18 (eight years ago) link

the explanation was he lied on his back and shot himself in the mouth using his thumb to pull the trigger... fucking impossible with that thing! the SOAKED IN BLEACH documentary debunks the physics of the official explanation...that doc has some problems (mostly the cheesy, unnecessary dramatic re-enactments), but it's arguments are pretty compelling.

― flappy bird, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:36 (eight years ago) link

i could totes shoot myself with that gun but I have long arms. cobain was kind of short.

still don't think he was murdered.

― uncle tenderlegdrop (jim in glasgow), Friday, 18 March 2016 17:37 (eight years ago) link

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