R. Kelly - "Trapped in the Closet - Chapter 6"

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Well, for starters you're acting like comparing hstencil to a racist dipshit is somehow germane to the discussion at hand and brings a new dimension to this argument and not a completely random, nonsensical aside that seems to serve no purpose than to provide a datapoint for the theory that you are a pissy little bitch who doesn't like it when the gigantic logical fallacies in your arguments get called out.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Hey Dan apparently i'm not 'deej' i'm 'dolt,' so can you PLEASE underline for me where this GIGANTIC LOGICAL FALLACY is?

deej.., Monday, 29 August 2005 20:57 (eighteen years ago) link

deej just walk away man. this isn't worth your time. you'll thank me later.

oops (Oops), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Hey Dan apparently i'm not 'deej' i'm 'dolt,' so can you PLEASE underline for me where this GIGANTIC LOGICAL FALLACY is?

that people were applauding because Rufus had decided to go back to his wife, not just because, it was an awards show and it was the END OF THE SONG, like ethan suggested.

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:02 (eighteen years ago) link

you guys, can't we settle this christian-like

maura (maura), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Where will we find lions at this time of night, Maura?

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:03 (eighteen years ago) link

M@tt, like I said upthread, I understand people felt that way, I was just saying that I felt differently. I don't see how ethan is unquestionably right or how my disagreeing is a HUGE LOGICAL FALLACY.

deej.., Monday, 29 August 2005 21:05 (eighteen years ago) link

"Deej says 'Yes'"
Dan says 'No'
Deej say 'Yes'
Dan says 'No'
stence says 'I shoulda known you woulda gone and do some bogus shit up on this board!"

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Also Dan my remark re: pumpsta was pretty below the belt but to be fair I was saying it as a joke because hstencil had mentioned in that thread that he knew who pumpsta was, calling people out for liking pumpsta isn't my new rhetorical technique or something.

deej.., Monday, 29 August 2005 21:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Okay, this has offically become a GREAT thread turned to shit by name calling and idiocy. Seriously, let's get this back to a discussion of the significance of the the whole song suite here ... it's pretty damn revolutionary for R&B, I think. And maybe for pop music. The world's simplest and greatest "to be continued" production.

Trapped in the Closet, Part 117 -- in which Rufus and Chuck reunited in the down-low retirement home.

Chris O., Monday, 29 August 2005 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Um, you guys should all stop fighting and feel a little more than embarrassed that you watched anything on MTV in the first place.

MTV = dumbing down society

FACT

this stupid fight is only backing it up

MTV has grown into such a monster, I don't really think it matters whether or not their audience is homophobic. Look at the reality shows, the beach party shows, the "total request live" shows, fucking Beavis and Butthead.

The only thing to conclude is that MTV's audience is CHILDISH and FUCKING BORDERLINE RETARDED.

jsoulja (jsoulja), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:22 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost

The only thing similar I can think of is EPMD's "Jane" saga, but that went album to album, and didn't have such cohesive narrative.

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:23 (eighteen years ago) link

The very thought that "Trapped In The Closet" has cultural or artistic significance makes me very, very, very depressed.

(xpost: I didn't even watch the VMAs but that doesn't change the point that being snotty about other people's television habits is a rhetoric technique that most people should really grow out of after they leave high school.)

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:25 (eighteen years ago) link

MTV's been downhill since they cancelled Charlie Rose! : (

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:26 (eighteen years ago) link

jesus you'd think R had reinvented the wheel rather than just made a mediocre --at best-- long rnb soap opera.

oops (Oops), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:34 (eighteen years ago) link

wether it was ridiculous or brilliant, i don't think one can deny kels' performance was pretty intense and one of the most bizarre thing ever done at such a pop/mass media event (and by an artist amongst the biggest sellers of the last decade).

AleXTC (AleXTC), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Whatever oops, life is way more fun when you get excited about Trapped in the Closet! It's bonzo bonkers! Life is short, play hard! Just do it! etc etc....

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

'most bizarre thing ever done at such a pop/mass media event'

as opposed to my 9th grade drama class, when doing this sort of thing was an assignment

maura (maura), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Your 9th grade drama class couldn't make slow-jams for shit, though.

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

That sounds like a challenge to me.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 29 August 2005 22:02 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.rfdc.ac.uk/past_news/Photoimages/rochelle-students_web.gif

"My niece has got it/ Cherise has got it"

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 29 August 2005 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

now THIS is ILM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

amon (eman), Monday, 29 August 2005 22:15 (eighteen years ago) link

amen to that

less MTV fights

more slow-jam challenge throw-downs!!!

jsoulja (jsoulja), Monday, 29 August 2005 22:36 (eighteen years ago) link

wether it was ridiculous or brilliant, i don't think one can deny kels' performance was pretty intense and one of the most bizarre thing ever done at such a pop/mass media event (and by an artist amongst the biggest sellers of the last decade).
-- AleXTC (alexandre...), August 29th, 2005.

this is exactly what i thought
there is no circumstance where that performance was not absurd- the only debate is "brilliantly absurd or just absurd?"

he was marcel marceau'ing his ass off...

i may never say "what the fuck?" with any greater conviction again in my lifetime

natlawdp, Monday, 29 August 2005 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

OK people can we get to the uber-important business of predicting the remainder of this saga?

I say Rufus keeps vacillating between Chuck and Kathy until they both get sick of him; he's outed and disgraced before his flock; he becomes a preacher to homeless gay men, ending up so destitute and dejected he takes $55 to do a video from the site bumpee.com where these two obnoxious frat boy types pay homeless guys to receive golden showers; um, R. Kelly sees the video and recognizes Rufus as the guy from trapped in the closet and takes pity on him; on the eve of R.'s sentencing for his k1dd1e pZrn conviction they escape to a secret island R. owns.

Episode 100: they spoon all night.

jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Monday, 29 August 2005 23:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Brothers, spare me the details.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 00:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I will cut this bitch right now.

Turn your brains off, it's just fun, you know?

Rollie Pemberton (Rollie Pemberton), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 07:14 (eighteen years ago) link

wow. i cant believe the amount of respect ILX gives this corny fuxor. r kelly is terrible!

urinal, Tuesday, 30 August 2005 09:34 (eighteen years ago) link

guys i have to say that well, this trapped in the closet saga is the worst piece of music anyone in R&B or modern popular music has done this decade. and i should know.

ghostofaaliyah, Tuesday, 30 August 2005 09:57 (eighteen years ago) link

guys i have to say that well, this trapped in the closet saga is the worst piece of music anyone in R&B or modern popular music has done this decade. and i should know.

well, that alone would make it an accomplishment !

AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 11:07 (eighteen years ago) link

guys i have to say that well, this trapped in the closet saga is the worst piece of music anyone in R&B or modern popular music has done this decade. and i should know.

You're Macy Gray?

Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah right, like this means Chuck is out of the picture. OMG A RUBBER.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

(rub-bah rub-bah rub-bah rub-bah rub-bah)

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 16:48 (eighteen years ago) link

the "try it" bit is so great also that couldn'ta even been sung straight up coz of the effects.

Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 16:53 (eighteen years ago) link

R KELLY WAS JUST ON EXTRA SAYING HES UP TO CHAPTER 25!!!!!

huell howser (chaki), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 01:10 (eighteen years ago) link

DAMN THATS A LOT OF RUBBERS AWAITING DISCOVERY

amon (eman), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 02:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I kinda hope he never stops.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 02:46 (eighteen years ago) link

has any video footage of this appeared on the internet yet?

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 02:51 (eighteen years ago) link

he should make "impromptu" performances every now and then in ceremonies, tv shows, restaurants, streets...

AleXTC (AleXTC), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 10:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Chapter 6
__________

Now soon as I left Cathys house, they all get up of the floor
then Rufus says Chuck are you okey, then Cathy closes the door
then Chuck said Rufus what the hell just happened, then Rufus said I'll tell ya
she just almost got us shot, right here in this room
then Cathy says you got nerve, almost got you shot? when you sneeking in and out of hotels with him and not telling what I got
Chuck says and what do you mean by that?
Cathy looks at him and says: figure it out!
he says: uhhhhhh Rufus, she do'nt know me, I will cut this bitch right now
come on and try it
wait I swear to God, try it
just try it
Rufus I swear to God, try it
come on, try it
come on, CALM YOUR ASS DOWN!
Rufus says, Rufus says Chuck we'll talk about it later
then Cathy says this shit is said
Chuck says Rufus I'm leaving, are you coming?
Cathy says Rufus, then Chuck says Rufus
Rufus looks at Chuck and says: Chuck you know I love you
Chuck says well lets go he said but I love her too
then Chuck says Rufus what about the things you told me, the things we did, the places we went, the love you made to me..
then Cathy says wait a minute, now I've heard enough of this bull
Chuck says me too, Rufus lets go can't you see the stunt she's trying to pull?
Rufus says I said nobody's going nowere, to we figure this out
Cathy says like I said, it ain't nothing to figure out, so get this fool up out my house
then Rufus said: your house is my house too and I say he stays
Chuck says Rufus Im out of here
Rufus says Chuck hold up, just wait!
Cathy says let him go, Rufus, I need you and Chuck says Rufus I need you too
then Rufus says Chuck, Chuck says Rufus if I loved you(???) aint no telling what I would do (???)
then Cathy says Rufus,
Rufus says Cathy,
Chuck says Rufus,
Rufus says Chuck
then Cathy grabs him
then Chuck pulls him
then Cathy says Rufus, please, if you love me, dont let him ruin our lives
then Rufus looks at Cathy, then he lets go of Cathy, then he looks at Chuck
he walks over to Chuck, and then he kisses Chuck, then he says to Chuck: Chuck I'm sorry, but I'm going back to my wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife!!!

RKelly88, Monday, 12 September 2005 05:04 (eighteen years ago) link

I finally saw this. A large portion of me feels that ILM is very easily entertained.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 September 2005 11:09 (eighteen years ago) link

But what does the OTHER portion feel?

Baaderonixx and the choco-pop babies (baaderonixx), Monday, 12 September 2005 11:11 (eighteen years ago) link

The other portion feels like it needs coffee.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 September 2005 11:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Very entertaining thread, can't believe any of you can't see what utter, utter self indugent dross that song is though.

lexurian (lexurian), Monday, 12 September 2005 11:52 (eighteen years ago) link

"any"

The Ghost of Reading Comprehension Isn't Your Forte (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 September 2005 12:18 (eighteen years ago) link

A large portion of me feels that ILM is very easily entertained.

Yup. Easily entertained right here. It was kinda like listening to a Madea play without paying a shitload of money.

Candicissima (candicissima), Monday, 12 September 2005 12:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Ha! Okay, I can buy that. I recognizie that the mere fact of the performance's existence is kind of a watershed "WTF????" moment in MTV history but that doesn't change the fact that I thought it was incoherent, haphazard and not nearly as entertaining as it should have been.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 12 September 2005 12:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I think at this point in the Trapped ILM saga, whether or not a given installment turns out to be incoherent or "as entertaining as it should have been" is a good portion of the entertainment all in itself. Especially given that so many people were upset at the soap-opera presentation of the Chapters 1-5 videos and wished it was R. acting it out with minimal props, some of these will have been delighted that he tried it, and many others will have learned, as Most Holy taught, that "you can get what you want and still not be very happy."

Me, I found the performance completely half-arsed and disappointing, but enormously enjoyed watching how Kelly's disconnect from reality enabled him to deliver something so half-arsed and disappointing in such an earnest manner.

kit brash (kit brash), Monday, 12 September 2005 22:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Does anyone know when chapters 6-10 vdeos are coming out?

Mouse77749, Thursday, 15 September 2005 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

wish I knew...........I cant waaaaaaaait

ccgffd, Sunday, 18 September 2005 11:38 (eighteen years ago) link


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