I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

I was in a band for all of five minutes called Dick Move

Did it end up going anywhere?

i feel my dick
move
under my feet

offered with love:

Christopher Cross: "Twerking takes me away to where I'm going"
Eddie Rabbitt: "I'm twerking my life away."
Lindsey Buckingham: "Twerkin' out for love."
Etc.
― display names are for n00bs (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, February 26, 2021

i been twerkin my way back to you babe
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Friday, February 26, 2021

Twerkin' in a coal mine
goin down down down
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, February 26, 2021

Yeah, must be the lack of an updated FAQ keeping the new posters away.
― pplains, Friday, February 26, 2021

lol

lol x2, so proud 2 have engineered that trainwreck

omg lol

oof haaa

with some friends recently and staved off our starving kids by tossing them an unopened package of crackers which someone referred to as a 'sleeve of ritz' and it got compared to 'slivovitz' which led to the concept of some sort of delicacy where plum brandy is injected into sealed tubes of ritz crackers and left to macerate until a boozy gelatinous paste forms.

We pictured an overly earnest 2010 charcuterie provisions restaurant with a tattooed mustachioed person lovingly preparing grey tubes of slivovitz sleeves-of-ritz to hang and age in their brooklyn/portland storefront

― joygoat, Wednesday, 3 March 2021 14:49 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

The Resultant Pasterie

― Canon in Deez (silby), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 15:02 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

that's good stuff

Kudos to both parties and the resultant post

groan

now that's an excelsior-worthy exchange

my use of “paste” there was deliberate but silbys response is absolutely next-level

please, no hateration, holleration

Ruth bader have my money

― beware the ídes of mairt (darraghmac), Thursday, March 4, 2021 11:08 AM (yesterday)

At the least I wouldn't want to be accidentally captured by some comedian bounty hunter.

Updog's methods are brutal but he gets results.

― stimmy stimmy yah (Simon H.), Monday, March 8, 2021 9:09 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

my junior year HS history? Every week we had to turn in a report on a current event and my friends started doing them on things like BJ and the Bear article from the "TV Stars 1982" book in the library or the trading cards of En Vogue and Linear from the side of a Pop Tarts box. A guy named Wilhelm found an article in the weekly world news about a car called the wilhelm that ran on urine and turned it in as if it had been from popular mechanics. The teacher came in the next week with a stack of Popular Mechanics from the past year to prove Wilhelm was lying but didn't do anything because he was too lazy.

― joygoat, Wednesday, March 10, 2021 8:05 PM

Was just coming here to post that. I'm still laughing.

Like full-on wiping away tears laughing.

it got me too

That ol' Wilhelm scheme.

Ah!

Um, ok

I did read somewhere that the UK is looking into whether there's increased effectiveness when they mix up the first and second dose providers (so here it would be AZ for one and Pfizer for the other), but haven't seen any results.

This is called the Arnold pharma

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, March 12, 2021 3:32 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

70,000 Tons of Metal cruise was amazing and life-changing. but apparently one year on that cruise the pool area was cleared out and someone was thrown in the brig because he ate this lady's ass in full view of everyone in broad daylight while in the hot tub

― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Monday, March 15, 2021 2:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

Yknow, yeah, the more I think about this, the funnier I find it. I was also picturing, like, Cannibal Corpse playing.

who eats ass in the hot tub

anywhere but the champagne room tbh

Even regular sex in a hot tub is a little strange, ime.

Regular sex in any body of water not a shower or stall is impossible if you imitate the callisthenics in Hollywood films.

yeahhhh. also hot tubs are just gross imo.

Hungry4Protozoa

even the local swingers club doesn't allow sex in the hot tub area.

don't ask how i know.

I bet this never happened on the NRO cruise, mostly because participants were too busy berating the crew to get around to eating ass in public

lol, berating attendants is basically sex to those people and the real thing is inaccessible to them anyway

And I wouldn't be fond of swearing but when I do go at it, I go at it awful and very hard.

I do have 45 ‘cunts’ in about two hours. I'd have a smatter of ‘fucks’ then, and a maybe an old patter of ‘gobshite’.

And I'd go for probably, I'd have ten more anyway. And I'd get up the following morning and read back ilx and the husband would have the stern eye on.

And I'd go at it again. And there'd be no fucking stopping me. I'd take the shirt off any man's back. Bastards.

― Scamp Granada (gyac), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 21:42 (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

gotta earn that username

an early st patrick's felicitation

xp ♥

oh so i don't

lj

st patrick's fellatiation?

^^^i know i call excelsior dead ten times a twelvemonth but i reckon this might actually have done the job

Lol failure phadraig

superb work mo chara

you cant buy lingual like that cinnte

i think i like this one even better out of context:

At one point a very drunk guy stood up and yelled "OK BUT WHAT'S A GENITAL CAT????"
― intern at pepe le pew research (Simon H.), Thursday, March 25, 2021

I guess if you're comfortable dealing with Python packages, there are some QR generator packages.

― o. nate, Monday, 29 March 2021 21:20 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i for one am super comfortable dealing with python packages

― John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Monday, 29 March 2021 21:21 (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

"meanwhile the US is taking a nationalised approach to a public health matter for the first time in decades, and finding its way more efficient than the local and private bottlenecks once the vaccines arrive"
What US is that?
― the last unvaccinated motherfucker on earth (PBKR), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Philadelphia is still in Phase 1A
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

xp yeah maybe thats how they do it in Upper Samaraland but here in the home of the brave we're still hanging out behind walgreens after closing time
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Wednesday, March 31, 2021

^^ sharpest line Lana Del Rey ever wrote
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, March 31, 2021