I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

deems otm

Every month, an excelsior ballot poll nom thread. Then a separate results rollout thread with graphics.

laugh tracks

slap bass interludes

that Apollo theater guy with the hook

The guy from i know what you did last summer with the hook

Dustin Hoffman dressed as Hook

Painted in the style of pieter de hooch

We finally know who got de hooch

Its pronounced de hooch

i know, and he's not even swedish. Those guys were drunk!

Peter Hook on^ slap bass

The ancient ghost story about the bloody hook on the car door handle.

I saw him at a hockey game a few years ago and I told he sucks and it wasn't him.

― Van Horn Street, Monday, 8 February 2021 22:57 (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

One of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Now I dislike him even more.

― Van Horn Street, Monday, 8 February 2021 22:58 (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

Beautiful

dying for more detail

Jordan Peterson

Follow up:

I have a friend who shares the name of famous actor Richard H@rris, and who one day in Prague spotted an old aquaintance from Bucharest up the street, disappearing into a crowd. He started calling after him, "Mike! Mike!" and then took up chase, weaving in and out of others, calling "Mike!"

Finally catching up to him, winded, he took him by the shoulder, "Mike!" The man turned around. "Mike! It's me, Richard H@arris! From Bucharest!" The man was startled, and nonplussed, because he was Dustin Hoffman.

― John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII),

I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Girlfriend in a coma, yeah

― baelien (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, February 9, 2021 12:25 PM bookmarkflaglink

the fuck is a paralyzed penis

― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, February 16, 2021 9:45 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Opposite of a dick move.

― pplains, Tuesday, February 16, 2021 9:50 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

"oh wow, 100 new answers about the great rap group de la soul, this should be fun!" i thought to myself before i actually started reading the posts in this thread
― tiwa-nty one savage (voodoo chili), Thursday, February 18, 2021 9:28 PM

I was in a band for all of five minutes called Dick Move

Did it end up going anywhere?

i feel my dick
move
under my feet

offered with love:

Christopher Cross: "Twerking takes me away to where I'm going"
Eddie Rabbitt: "I'm twerking my life away."
Lindsey Buckingham: "Twerkin' out for love."
Etc.
― display names are for n00bs (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, February 26, 2021

i been twerkin my way back to you babe
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Friday, February 26, 2021

Twerkin' in a coal mine
goin down down down
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, February 26, 2021

Yeah, must be the lack of an updated FAQ keeping the new posters away.
― pplains, Friday, February 26, 2021

lol

lol x2, so proud 2 have engineered that trainwreck

omg lol

oof haaa

with some friends recently and staved off our starving kids by tossing them an unopened package of crackers which someone referred to as a 'sleeve of ritz' and it got compared to 'slivovitz' which led to the concept of some sort of delicacy where plum brandy is injected into sealed tubes of ritz crackers and left to macerate until a boozy gelatinous paste forms.

We pictured an overly earnest 2010 charcuterie provisions restaurant with a tattooed mustachioed person lovingly preparing grey tubes of slivovitz sleeves-of-ritz to hang and age in their brooklyn/portland storefront

― joygoat, Wednesday, 3 March 2021 14:49 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

The Resultant Pasterie

― Canon in Deez (silby), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 15:02 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

that's good stuff

Kudos to both parties and the resultant post

groan

now that's an excelsior-worthy exchange

my use of “paste” there was deliberate but silbys response is absolutely next-level

please, no hateration, holleration

Ruth bader have my money

― beware the ídes of mairt (darraghmac), Thursday, March 4, 2021 11:08 AM (yesterday)

At the least I wouldn't want to be accidentally captured by some comedian bounty hunter.

Updog's methods are brutal but he gets results.

― stimmy stimmy yah (Simon H.), Monday, March 8, 2021 9:09 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

my junior year HS history? Every week we had to turn in a report on a current event and my friends started doing them on things like BJ and the Bear article from the "TV Stars 1982" book in the library or the trading cards of En Vogue and Linear from the side of a Pop Tarts box. A guy named Wilhelm found an article in the weekly world news about a car called the wilhelm that ran on urine and turned it in as if it had been from popular mechanics. The teacher came in the next week with a stack of Popular Mechanics from the past year to prove Wilhelm was lying but didn't do anything because he was too lazy.

― joygoat, Wednesday, March 10, 2021 8:05 PM

Was just coming here to post that. I'm still laughing.

Like full-on wiping away tears laughing.

it got me too

That ol' Wilhelm scheme.

Ah!

Um, ok

I did read somewhere that the UK is looking into whether there's increased effectiveness when they mix up the first and second dose providers (so here it would be AZ for one and Pfizer for the other), but haven't seen any results.

This is called the Arnold pharma

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, March 12, 2021 3:32 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

70,000 Tons of Metal cruise was amazing and life-changing. but apparently one year on that cruise the pool area was cleared out and someone was thrown in the brig because he ate this lady's ass in full view of everyone in broad daylight while in the hot tub

― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Monday, March 15, 2021 2:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

Yknow, yeah, the more I think about this, the funnier I find it. I was also picturing, like, Cannibal Corpse playing.

who eats ass in the hot tub