Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

him Branson and Cliff and Capt Tom in a four way dogging orgy

apologies for not bringing Branson's recently deceased mum into that Barbados dogging orgy as well!

I somehow can't get my head round Russ Abbot being 73 and not like, 110

I think because he went bald in early middle age, and unlike many in showbiz, didn't bother to hide it, people tend to think of him as older

Unlikely to see out the year having hung out with Typhoid Tom.

I hope he does hang out with Branson then

Abbott frequently hid his baldness with a Tam o'Shanter and ginger mullet tbf

A man who is paralysed from the waist down is walking 112 miles with the help of an exoskeleton suit to raise funds for the NHS pic.twitter.com/4Ug9U834l1

— PA Media (@PA) February 3, 2021

ffs enough is enough

Barbados or bust

UK Can't Close Its Border Because It's An Island 'Unlike Australia', Says Grant Shapps

No claps 'round my way either, though I did hear some faint honking in the distance. Put Yakuza on pause for 5min on purpose to check.

JUST MAKE PEOPLE PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE OF TAX FFS

all in 1 day. from the mirror and the new statesman. he's gone. pic.twitter.com/lY28Wmp23M

— aaЯjan (@aarjanistan) February 3, 2021

Obviously there's no point crowing about this, with the new stitch-up voting rules it'll be a far worse ghoul in charge, Starmer was always a cypher

yes, it is good that he is potentially so shit that he'll be out of a job, but who is going to replace him? we've already seen that all but 8-12 Labour mps are completely useless.

I think by the time Kieth has gone I will at least be able to watch on with more amusement than anger at the piece of human garbage that replaces him. He was only a cypher but his *greatest* achievement was absolutely finishing off dead any hope I (and others I presume) had of being able to bring about any meaningful change through the Labour party.

and he's such an odious tosser I am enjoying his slow death tbh!

Starmer is a stooge, absolutely, but a new contest will either fully expose how dead the Labour Party currently is or put the fear of god into the right wing star chamber

Labour has been consistently approaching the 40 per cent mark in the polls. Clawing back 12 percentage points since April 2020 is a brilliant achievement by Keir Starmer and a vindication for those who backed him.

Brutal stuff.

Both articles are along the lines of ‘Starmer has done good, solid work and now needs to generate some excitement’, which feels incredibly generous.

Keigh

I mean Corbyn polled solidly around 40% for around a year and a half until the fucking EU parliamentary elections, and even led the Tories by 8 points at one point, but yeah, great stuff.

Paul Mason's got some nerve eh?

Kieth has clawed back points from the time when a recently defeated Labour Party had just elected, um, Kieth

he's done great cos less people think he's shit than they did shortly before the government killed tens of thousands of people

The tweet above is odd, as it says 'Mirror' but shows Independent; not Mirror.

And I'm not sure that a Mason column in the NS carries much weight re: what happens in Labour.

https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/uk-england-bristol-55904361?

All these babies will be Tory

no way would that ever be a feel good news story if they weren't, you know,

UK Can't Close Its Border Because It's An Island 'Unlike Australia', Says Grant Shapps

vg btw

"There are lots of young couples starting families in the street because it's an amazing location."

_(´ཀ`」 ∠)_

littlejohn truly beyond all parody

attacking black people for doing something they haven't done to a statue that doesn't even exist, standard pic.twitter.com/pjtojZnrXJ

— Sarah 🇪🇺🌹WEAR A FACE MASK (@sazmeister88) February 5, 2021

I would love to know how a yoga teacher is paying a mortgage on a house like that over the past ten months

As a Bristol resident, I can confirm that the St. George area full of gestating mothers-to-be is increasingly inundated with ex-Londoners who moved to Bristol and price the locals out of the housing market. Tory status of babies tbc, would't be shocked.

only the bbc would try and cook up a sickmaking attempt of a feelgood story about gentrification

well not only the bbc tbf

all babies are tories though

Born this way

Too many Breton tops in that item to be anything other than LibDems tbh

HOW LONG BEFORE BLM PULL DOWN SIR TOM MOORE'S STATUE, asks richard littlejohn in an incendiary column accompanied by a picture of a statue that blm didn't pull down

he's a statue pro-lifer defending poor helpless unborn memorials

I look forward to more property-smug London evacuees writing pieces in the Graun, with a murderously smug pic in their huge designer kitchen: "now we can afford two cleaners and a private tutor with the money we've saved and it's a great location".

They've already covered the ones who have friends with empty flats they can lend them gratis whilst they renovate their hugely expensive home or do some planning for a wellness journey of self-discovery up their up own rectum.

As a Bristol resident, I can confirm that the St. George area full of gestating mothers-to-be is increasingly inundated with ex-Londoners who moved to Bristol and price the locals out of the housing market. Tory status of babies tbc, would't be shocked.

Is that anyway to talk about dog latin?

mark your calendars, lads, it'll all be over by june

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2021/02/04/14/38880386-9222857-At_a_rate_of_345_000_first_doses_per_day_the_current_average_it_-a-32_1612447353834.jpg

Get me off this godforsaken island pic.twitter.com/9cuq7woAj4

— Lou Stoppard (@LouStoppard) February 5, 2021

Genius.

This is getting better as the days go by.

it doesn't even look like a real photo, she might as well have used a face app and saved lots of needless fucking about

Not reading the link to find out but did she go out looking like that?

I hope so

these days, if you say capt tom was a [redacted] then you get arrested and thrown into a jail

usual philistine cobblers on ilx