Wustfil drinking
― Qanondorf (darraghmac), Sunday, 31 January 2021 02:24 (three years ago) link
OK when I'm listening to "Sex Weed" on a loop that's bed time
― Scampi reggae party (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 31 January 2021 02:38 (three years ago) link
Playing SAW I in bed as a John Harris tribute
― Scampi reggae party (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 31 January 2021 02:41 (three years ago) link
that thing inside youit were outside youmalavarice eats us up
― Scampi reggae party (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 February 2021 06:50 (three years ago) link
the urge to sneak into saturnonymity
― Scampi reggae party (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 February 2021 07:06 (three years ago) link
and that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic
― Scampi reggae party (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 February 2021 07:12 (three years ago) link
Don't have time to be fanciful, just noting how sweet the sadness is of gazing into the shifting shades of blue at a slight remove
Which is just a way of being pointlessly always a bit sad I guess, always missing some little object, eh?
― Mommas, don't let your scampoes grow up to be bacon fries (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 09:03 (three years ago) link
The difference between melancholy and gloom? Perhaps I’ve misinterpreted that first one.
― scampless, rattled and puce (gyac), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 11:00 (three years ago) link
It is, also it's a soft melancholy, like when you're tapped into the universal blue.
Lots of defrosted feelings at my end, tho I believe in the collective blue of the universe
Just needed to whitter and jot it down here, lol havent felt the urge for ages for some reason.
― Mommas, don't let your scampoes grow up to be bacon fries (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 11:21 (three years ago) link
twhitter nest pas
― scampsite (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 11:25 (three years ago) link
Well now.
― scampless, rattled and puce (gyac), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 11:27 (three years ago) link
I never really know how to define melancholy. Instinctively i think of it as sort of sadness tinting everything, diluted but pervasive? Sadness itself is almost a pain (at least for someone who feels all their negative emotions physically it is too), stronger and harder to ignore.
― scampless, rattled and puce (gyac), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 11:34 (three years ago) link
Melancholy = there is a fundamental sadness underpinning existence and it's beautiful so that's ok
(nb there is also a fundamental joy underpinning existence probably but joy feels much more atomised/personal)
I can bask in melancholy but joy is more unsettling idk
― Mommas, don't let your scampoes grow up to be bacon fries (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 11:48 (three years ago) link
melancholy is the pretty rainbow colours shifting across the surface of the dark petrol gloop of sadness
― you are like a scampicane, there's calm in your fries (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 13:38 (three years ago) link
That’s a great way of putting it
― scampless, rattled and puce (gyac), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 13:52 (three years ago) link
A little bubble of black nihilism stuck in my lungs today for no obvious reason.
It's good to observe this stuff calmly until I can cough it up
― The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 10:03 (three years ago) link
There's a feeling I get sometimes when the sun's coming out, it's very nebulous and complicated and of course blue, it has wistfulness and hope and nostalgia for hope and possibility in it, unfocused memory maybe, awareness of the seasons changing in time, I get it in the Persona games sometimes too, it's like being 18 somehow or wishing I was
Lockdown spoils it tho
― A bot scamping on a human face, forever (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 11 March 2021 12:34 (three years ago) link
I'm living in a sleepy fog of netflix and biscuits. Sometimes the biscuits are good.
― Suggest Banazir (onimo), Friday, 19 March 2021 22:50 (three years ago) link
there isn't much good to say about netflix, apart from that it has all 7 seasons of Voyager!
― calzino, Friday, 19 March 2021 23:00 (three years ago) link
New last chance u dropped tbf
― Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Saturday, 20 March 2021 00:47 (three years ago) link
Having a bacon
― calstars, Saturday, 20 March 2021 01:49 (three years ago) link
Yet another curfew Friday night before Blue Saturday #419432490.
― pomenitul, Saturday, 20 March 2021 01:50 (three years ago) link
I thought about trying to sketch my blueness but fuck it, silence and diversion is easier.
I'm here to listen and nod along to all of youse tho
― Call of Scampi: Slack Nephrops (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 22 April 2021 07:29 (three years ago) link
This probably isn't the place for it but I drank far too much on Saturday night. It was with good company, round a fire in a garden; there were cigars and glorious peaty whisky. But I didn't eat enough and had an appalling hangover and jesus do I still feel wobbly today. This always manifests, particularly when the end of the night is hazy (to say the least), as me thinking I was probably a prick and have offended people/changed their view of me. I know it's ego and guilt and booze (a heady mix) and I've checked and everyone seems fine but I can't shake it and mostly I think 'just give this shit up already' or 'why can't I have some self-control?'.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 17:30 (two years ago) link
feeling that. be gentle with yourself imo.
― John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 17:41 (two years ago) link
"the fear" is a real thing the few days after exactly that situation and i used to think i knew what it was when i was in my twenties but at some stage over the last few years its an absolutely predictable mood that lingers after im out with a group and have had more than is good for me- and its never related to anything ive done (unlike, say, in my twenties)
― flagpost fucking (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:05 (two years ago) link
I have that all the time after social events, even (especially?) ones I was completely sober for.
― Lily Dale, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:08 (two years ago) link
Oh yeah, hate that fear, though a reprieve from it has been one of those rare pros of the pandemic. I too get it even after big social events where I'm sober, but if I do imbibe that just adds an extra layer of "what dumb things did I possibly say" anxiety to the mix. And, yeah, as I've aged it's never really anything I did do, it's more just stuff like "damn, did I really talk about to that guy about Sopranos for as long as it seems like I did? that must have been insufferable".
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:13 (two years ago) link
i have this fear about ilx often enough
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:19 (two years ago) link
its never related to anything ive done (unlike, say, in my twenties)
This is key. My hangovers are predictably longer than they used to be, but they're nowhere near as panic attack-inducing.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:20 (two years ago) link
Solidarity! Mine is more 'stuff I did in my 30s' rather than anything I do now but yeah it's very much part of any social occasion, pissed-up or otherwise. And I totally get that 'god, did I talk to them for 2 hours about...?!' cringe thing. Awkward bastard.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Tuesday, 4 May 2021 18:59 (two years ago) link
I know those heebie-jeebies, crawling-in-my-skin fear, and as I've aged I've learned they can be managed somewhat: less or no whisky/rum/gin/etc., stick to milder (sub 7%) beers. Even if I drink eleven of them, I can still remember most everything and don't feel as godawful
― Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 4 May 2021 19:08 (two years ago) link
there is no dignified death
― Lage Lage Lage Shooting (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 6 June 2021 02:27 (two years ago) link
Hope you’re ok…I’m kind of hoping for it to be reasonably peaceful and pain free, with someone quietly chanting:[
] O nobly-born, that which is called death hath now come. Thou art departing from this world, but thou art not the only one; death cometh to all. Do not cling, in fondness and weakness, to this life. Even though thou clingest out of weakness, thou hast not the power to remain here. Thou wilt gain nothing more than wandering in this Samsara. [
― Luna Schlosser, Sunday, 6 June 2021 12:55 (two years ago) link
❤️
coke and booze and tiredness
I'm ok
Still time for wandering in samsara
― Lage Lage Lage Shooting (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 6 June 2021 12:59 (two years ago) link
Take me - my little pastry mother take meThere's a pie shop in the sky
― Take me home, Jordan Rhodes (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 June 2021 03:36 (two years ago) link
(Phil Collins plays double-time on overdubbed 2nd drum kit)
― Halfway there but for you, Friday, 25 June 2021 03:41 (two years ago) link
:D <3
― Take me home, Jordan Rhodes (Noodle Vague), Friday, 25 June 2021 03:43 (two years ago) link
and why not
gloomy day getting nothing done -- one paragraph tinkered with, knowing there's something off abt the whole long piece -- but mostly stuck feeling the best is past and the good ones are gone― mark s, Saturday, 15 September 2018 18:42 (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― mark s, Saturday, 15 September 2018 18:42 (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink
back here again tbh: i've done better than just one paragraph 2day but the news abt dawn foster has honestly floored me -- i never met her myself but i know several ppl who knew her well and are devastated :(
― mark s, Friday, 16 July 2021 14:36 (two years ago) link
I think a lot of people who never met Dawn will have shed some tears over her death, it was terrible - even if a lot of us fans knew she had serious health problems - it didn't diminish the shock of it.
― MoMsnet (calzino), Friday, 16 July 2021 14:49 (two years ago) link
cosines
― Southgate Serves Imperialism (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 July 2021 00:46 (two years ago) link
is it better to have no chance of interpersonal relationships or to actively destroy the chances
― mookieproof, Saturday, 17 July 2021 04:33 (two years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/6Mli5lJ.jpg
― calstars, Saturday, 17 July 2021 04:42 (two years ago) link
Tried hard to stay healthy all week, for work, for survival, for what? And now it's Saturday morning lying here listening to Flip Your Wig, frightened of how these 2 days of freedom will run away from me and having no clue how to use them except to run headfirst into boozblivion
― Southgate Serves Imperialism (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 July 2021 08:15 (two years ago) link
I know that was probably rhetorical, but use that store of health and go for a long walk. At least earn that first beer man!
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Saturday, 17 July 2021 08:45 (two years ago) link
earn while you walk is my motto and is partly why I've enjoyed so much success in recent years!
― MoMsnet (calzino), Saturday, 17 July 2021 09:11 (two years ago) link
My 2020/2021 motto:
Unbearably gruelling non-stop work in intense solitary confinement conditions that stretch the limits of human endurance - and the weekends are even worse!
― Luna Schlosser, Saturday, 17 July 2021 11:07 (two years ago) link
Catch a pint with you later dudes
― calstars, Saturday, 17 July 2021 12:22 (two years ago) link
EyyyySo what did you tossers end up doing today
― calstars, Saturday, 17 July 2021 22:32 (two years ago) link