you can throw a man at a cement mixer
Dying
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 December 2020 19:00 (three years ago) link
by using your dick you can hold your beer and put your flexfit kangol in there too
I...am in awe
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Monday, 28 December 2020 19:01 (three years ago) link
words that have never been posted on ilx.im). Fortunately the password isn't stored in plain text on the servers and can't be used to reset the credentials.
Access to the accounts themselves is limited to a secure shell (SSH) session only. Any further action with the accounts requires authentication and therefore the credentials can't be extracted.
OK, now that the demo has been set up and verified that no critical data was exposed I thought I should test a few limits. So I took a look at the command-line tools we have to create and
― DJP, Monday, 28 December 2020 20:58 (three years ago) link
Something evil's watching over youComin' from the sky aboveAnd there's nothing you can do
To stop it 'cause it's inside
And it's too powerful
— R.E.M.
― peace, man, Monday, 28 December 2020 21:09 (three years ago) link
The crows assert that a single crow could destroy the heavens. This is certainly true, but it proves nothing against the heavens, because heaven means precisely: the impossibility of crows. A collection of prophets is the most dangerous thing in the world. It takes the form of the highest goods. Goods are useful: if crows would simply prosper, then their existence would be valuable. A collection of books is also dangerous: it takes the form of a life, and as a life, it takes the form of what it becomes a life for, and of what it will become a life for. What is the most dangerous? I'd say it's a collection of snakes: a snake is useless if all it does is provide money or pick a
― ledge, Monday, 28 December 2020 21:22 (three years ago) link
The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind, and another, his mother called him a horrible brat and sent him to his room. He couldn't get to sleep. He dreamt that he was flying, swooping and falling through the clear night air. Stars twinkled and the moon was dazzlingly white. The children at school whispered that a meteor had exploded over the forest nearby. He glimpsed charred and broken wood and twisted metal. Everything glowed red-orange, as if it were about to burst into flame. A crumpled metal jug and a gas can lay like charred matchsticks. And among all the
― ledge, Monday, 28 December 2020 21:26 (three years ago) link
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, in a far away story, there lived a fair princess. Her mother gave birth to her and one of her brothers, a runt - boy who seemed to be destined for a life as a traveling merchant. All was happy until one day, the little boy was taken to the royal nursery and left to be fed by the cold, stone fireplace. The fire spit out embers and was fed upon by rats, which gnawed at the little boy's tiny legs. The queen, overcome with grief, had no choice but to beat her child
― ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 28 December 2020 23:08 (three years ago) link
part two:
i look up at the window to see if the raven is there, and it is.
it's sitting on the ledge, wings outstretched, watching me with its serene eyes.
i stare back, and the raven tilts its head as if to say, "do you want me to sing for you?"
so of course i say, "of course i do."
and in between the quivering sounds i'm making, the raven sings.
it sings songs about my lover, songs about our love, and the raven sings about my husband, about our perfect marriage, and our perfect union.
there is a song about my husband being the man of my dreams and being the greatest husband in the world, and about him being the man of my heart, and how i'll never be able to live without him.
there is a song about the day that i'll never forget, a day that I don't want to forget, and how happy i was.
there is a song about the birth of our first child, and how much we love her, and the song continues on to being a song about a new baby, a girl baby that we'll call Evie, and how we'll make another little girl of our family, but this time we'll name her Bella. then it continues on, and continues to be a song about our little girl growing up, and what she'll look like, how smart and beautiful she'll be, and how she'll look like my husband, and how she'll look like me, and how she'll look like her father.and it ends with the most beautiful song i've ever heard, and the most beautiful word i've ever heard.
i watch the raven, and the raven seems to watch me. it is a strange experience, being watched by an animal, and i have to admit, it's a little unnerving, but i know that if i keep staring at it, it'll be scared away, and so i keep staring.
this is when i'm waiting for the raven to leave.
i wait a little longer than i should have, but i have things to do, and i'm not scared.
i don't know why the raven is there, but i think it's someone just showing me, once again, how awesome my life is.
― slugbuggy, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 05:59 (three years ago) link
act three, in which i run out of characters and don't want to upgrade to the paid subscription service, also, the point where the algorithm abandons the ostensible premise and starts talking in its own voice:
"You can tell a lot about a person just by seeing what they do to comfort themselves," my shrink, my therapist, said.
i don't remember if she said it or if i read it somewhere.
but it was a recent epiphany.
i used to do a lot of things.
i didn't like myself a lot.
but a lot of things were out of my control.
now, my biggest fear is to live for the day.
i take things one day at a time.
a good friend told me that i'm the one who has to do it.
it's about acting from the place of no fear.
if i do that, i'll be okay.
my life is pretty fucking great.
i tell people that a lot.
i'm okay.
i'm in a good place.
i need to be more relaxed about things.
i should stop working so hard.
i've got the talent.
i just have to figure out what to do with it.
i think part of the problem with my life is the outside world, the crazy fucked up people, the fucked up things they say.
i'm different.
i can't get all sucked into their lives and feel the depression in their eyes.
i'm not a bad person.
i know that.
my life is easy, too easy.
i work a job that i love, i'm married to someone who loves me, and we live in a beautiful house.
i'm not lacking.
i'm a little afraid.
i'm not saying anything negative.
i'm not trying to sound pessimistic.
i'm just expressing my normal, every day, "what - the - hell - is - going - on - in - my - life - ness." it seems more permanent, more permanent, but i don't think it is.
my shrink says that this is all about choice.
if you want it to be permanent, then it's going to be permanent.
i don't think it's permanent.
i feel like i could leave tomorrow and be okay.
but then, what if i don't?
what if i just stay here forever?
i have a life, but i don't feel like i'm living it.
i wake up and go to work and come home and do the same thing.
it's repetitive, and that's boring.
i need to do more.
i think it's my job, my life, to decide what the hell i'm going to do.
so, i'm going to make some decisions.
i'm going to start writing again.
i'm going to start writing about all of this.
i'm going to start writing about other things, too.
all of it.
you should know this about me: i have two tattoos.
one is my side - the scorpio - and one is my back, the dancing man.
they are so intertwined, and the man is so much a part of my daily life, i wanted to tattoo the two of them together.
― slugbuggy, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 06:29 (three years ago) link
I got, I got, I got, I gotLoyalty, got royalty inside my DNACocaine quarter piece, got war and peace inside my DNAI got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNAI got hustle though, ambition, flow inside my DNAI was born like this, since one like this, immaculate conceptionI was raised like this, since one like this, I cannot keep my hands off of you baby
I have a treasure chest full of luck and illusion inside my DNA
I got a sense of euphoria inside my DNA
I got a sacred date on the GPS inside my DNA
Cocaine quarter piece, got war and peace inside my DNA
I got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNA
I got hustle though, ambition, flow inside my DNA
I got a treasure chest full of luck and illusion inside my DNA
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 29 December 2020 06:56 (three years ago) link
My name is Special Ed and I'm a super-duper starEvery other month I get a brand new carGot 20, that's plenty yet I still want moreKind of fond of Honda scooters, got 74I got the riches to fulfill my needsGot land in the sand of the West IndiesEven got a little island of my very ownI gotta frog, a dog with a solid gold bone
Read some silly magazines, (I must have 19, tops)
I don't even have to ask and I know I'll get my way
An infinite supply of rubber bands for my pocket
What can I tell ya? I'm special
These things I have, most don't even know
It’s still morning, I have one more full cup of coffee
Ooooh and it’s my favorite, I call it wine
There’s no way I could possibly have enough of it
This is no ordinary road, there’s many twists and turns
A puppy with a red ribbon around his neck
A chihuahua from
― peace, man, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 12:59 (three years ago) link
I still haven't made it past the story CAAL posted
― DJP, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 14:14 (three years ago) link
Chestnuts roasting on an open fireJack Frost nipping at your noseThese nostalgic holiday treats all have one thing in common: they're all "seasonally inappropriate."
Seriously, doesn't the phrase "less is more" ring familiar? Take away the ice cream, or the stuffing, or the pecan pie, and what's left is what we all crave: simplicity.
The mess-free, time-tested meals that nourish our bodies from within are more than festive: they're life-affirming, too.
So here, in no particular order, are a few easy, "paleo" recipes that'll make you and your family healthy
― DJP, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 14:15 (three years ago) link
Inbetween Days by The Cure
Yesterday I got so oldI felt like I could die
I wanted to put on my eyeliner and
put a toner on
ask my wife
what the fuck she thought of me
with a look in my eye that I didn’t like
and she was like
I know you’re doing your work
I’m being real
I
― DJP, Tuesday, 29 December 2020 14:17 (three years ago) link
hahahaha
― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 December 2020 15:24 (three years ago) link
We are the champions, my friendAnd we'll keep on fighting, til the end of the season
But at home we shall stand our ground
For we are with Wolverhampton Wanderers!
But we have to stay strong
For we are the champions, my friend
And we'll keep on fighting, til the end of the season
--Wolverhampton Wanderers Supporters' Club
WILWAM.COM - 18 APRIL 2008
Link to the petition:
https://secure.avaaz.org/en/petitions/30194/WCS-999
― he said that you son of a bitch (Neanderthal), Monday, 15 February 2021 03:03 (three years ago) link
I'm using WindowsWindows, Windows 386So all my app-li-cations are running at onceMy report right now, is scattered all over my deskW-w-w-windows will pull these files together real quickI got pieces in one spreadsheetI got pieces in another spreadsheetI got my slideshow up right now in iMovieIt's just a p-p-p-picture of a dinosaurThat I made a couple of days agoWhile sitting here at home, drinking my coffeeI went to the m-m-m-mall, just trying to get a wordI was looking at all those old peoples houses, just to see what I would doThat old house over thereThat house right thereAnd the f-f-f-fish tank...it was exactly the sameI didn't need the perfect photoA green screen, three monitorsEight or nine layers of photosIf I could
― John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 20:18 (three years ago) link
perfection
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 20:19 (three years ago) link
Well that's David Byrne's next song done
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:25 (three years ago) link
The next day when I'd be going out you know, I took control, like uh, I put bleach on my hair in California.
So I was a big bleached - head.
W: Yeah.
So that was the first thing I did.
And then I had very little time, so I thought if I got, well I could always go back for a haircut, so I got a very short hair cut.
I was like twenty - two, and I went out.
I went out and I had a big car, I drove a big '73 Charger.
W: uh, yeah.
And uh, it was December, it was a short year, and it was in Indiana, and it was a shit - ton of snow.
It was about five o 'clock, and I - it was snowing, and I was goin'
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:29 (three years ago) link
NBD etc
This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.
Here, sorrows are celebrated with jubilant, defiant, and self-congratulatory gestures of disrespect. This is a place where crowds of people step on the graves of the dead, hang toys on the tombs, throw candy, and do all sorts of things to desecrate the memories of those who died before them.
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 22:53 (three years ago) link
Talk to Borges
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 23:46 (three years ago) link
I love "self-congratulatory gestures of disrespect" as a turn of phrase
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 23:50 (three years ago) link
!
The universe (which others call the Library) is composed of an indefinite, perhaps infinite number of hexagonal galleries. If the viewer stands in the center and thinks of a poem, the entire structure (which is eternal and never ages) will begin to mimic the particular pattern of words at which it is standing, much in the same way that a reader's subconscious mind may receive specific associations from the different books on a library shelf. The repetitive ordering of the paintings, which may never change, results in the equivalent of a silent clock: since the viewer is thinking of words at the time, all the spaces
― John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 23:53 (three years ago) link
did it just fill in straight borges?
― That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 23:57 (three years ago) link
Hey I want to read the rest of that
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 23 February 2021 23:59 (three years ago) link
I was just wondering that...I mean is it referencing the full text and/or borges in general to spin this out, using more than the voice/vocab/syntax provided?
― John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 00:06 (three years ago) link
Sunny dayKeeping the clouds awayOn my wayTo where the air is sweet
And the silence is deep
Where blue jays and cardinals sing and chicks hatch
You pull the car over
And what do you see?
Chickens
In the neighbor's back yard
Waving their bills
Tearing into a rooster
And a turkey
On the front porch
Crying
To tell us it's dinner time
In your car
That's where I see it.
I see things.
I think.
I worry.
I trust.
I go.
Sometimes I wish I was more willing to see the beauty and wonder in the small things.
We had company this weekend.
Aunt Fay and
― if you meh them, shut up (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 01:10 (three years ago) link
Sesame Street did do Twin Beaks. A full-on Lynchian reboot is the obvious next step
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 26 February 2021 18:26 (three years ago) link
Adrian Chiles: "Shopping is a whole new world now I have to wear a mask."
Adrian Chiles: "Seven weeks in, what have I learned from my new life as a dog person?"
Adrian Chiles: "It doesn't matter how clever you are - talk for more than a minute and you've lost me."
Adrian Chiles: "In Spain, I go to my 'pet hotel' - 'Lobotomia' - to pamper him and shave his coat to give him a clean, boyish look."
Adrian Chiles: "Now, to my knowledge, [the Spanish sausage] is only in the tapas bars around here but, in truth, I don't care. It doesn't suit my taste anyway. No hard bits!"
Adrian Chiles: "And now it's time to teach you to ring a bell. I'm ringing this bell and you're going to ring the bell and then we can move on. And... bell rings, old boy, you know what to do."
Adrian Chiles: "Are we having some hiccups? Do you need some help? We are."
Noel Edmonds: "This is a nice enough woman."
Adrian Chiles: "What do I do? Do I stare at her? I love the challenge."
― Bastard Lakes (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 4 March 2021 15:04 (three years ago) link
Fatboy Slim is fucking in heaven here. What a vibe, what a place.
It's going to be another stellar year in the company's history, we reckon. The space is awesome, the playlist is awesome and the change in look and feel is fucking awesome, and that's just to the outside.
That includes the super-fun, super-cool Shed. The new education and childcare hub, located underneath Shed 1, is super new, super cute and super a great space to spend an hour with the kids.
Art
David Sleath.
Two of this year's new exhibitions are also
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Thursday, 4 March 2021 15:17 (three years ago) link
defend the indefensible: glenn fucking greenwald (unaffiliated) The New York Times is not your enemy.
stop ignoring the rise of right-wing extremism: annie kurkosky (unaffiliated)
call on leadership in newsrooms: john flory (unaffiliated)
scrap the Trump strategy: tracy olson (un
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Thursday, 4 March 2021 15:18 (three years ago) link
TS: "Rockefeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim VERSUS "Block Rockin' Beats" by the Chemical Brothers .
TS: "Rockeel Station" by English rock band Coldplay VERSUS "Noisecontrollers".
TS: "Rockeel Station" by English rock band Coldplay VERSUS "Thieves Like Us" by The Clash.
TS: "Rockeel Station" by English rock band Coldplay VERSUS "The Pus/Worm" by The Smiths.
TS: "Rockeel Station" by English rock band Coldplay VERSUS "Intro" by Four Tet.
TS: "Rockeel Station" by English rock band Coldplay VERSUS
― Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Thursday, 4 March 2021 15:21 (three years ago) link
For a long time I would go to bed early. Sometimes, the candle barely out, my eyes closed so quickly that I did not have time to tell myself: “I’m falling asleep.” And half an hour later when my head cleared, I would groan, and follow that groan to the kitchen, where I’d grab a pint of Tang and slither into bed. No matter how often I told myself that it was a foolish addiction, that Tang was a drowsy swill that was overpriced and artificial, that it would stain the furniture of my new house, and that no one in the whole world besides me drank it, I couldn’t help myself. Tang was in the cupboard, and I could not sleep without it.
― jmm, Thursday, 4 March 2021 16:36 (three years ago) link
https://www.c-span.org/video/?509520-1/york-governor-cuomo-apologizes-actions-resign
YOU CAN FIND PICTURES OF ME KISSING PEOPLE. IT IS MY USUAL AND CUSTOMARY WAY OF GREETING. YOU KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU HAVE WATCHED ME FOR FOR MORE YEARS THAN I CAN TO REMEMBER. IT WAS MY FATHER'S WAY OF GREETING PEOPLE. YOU WANT PEOPLE TO FEEL COMFORTABLE AND REACH OUT TO THEM. I KISS AND HUG LEGISLATORS. I WAS AT AN EVENT IN QUEENS THE OTHER DAY AND DRESSED UP AS A QUEEN. I SPOKE ABOUT IMPROVIZING MEASURES FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES. OF ALL THE PEOPLE I MADE COME OVER TO ME AND TALK TO ME, ONE WAS A SENATOR WHO IS A COUNSELOR AND WORKS WITH PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.
DRESSED UP LIKE A QUEEN, YOU'RE AT AN EVENT FOR YOURSELVES. BECAUSE YOU ARE PROUD. BECAUSE YOU HAVE WORKED SO HARD. THAT IS WHAT I AM, PROUD OF MYSELF AND MYSELF AND BECAUSE I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY LIFE AND MYSELF. I LIKE TO HUG AND KISS MY FRIENDS.
― G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 4 March 2021 18:10 (three years ago) link
next question?
, I would groan, and follow that groan to the kitchenthis is world class prose.
― Ranch dressing improves everything - I'm dreading it... (ledge), Thursday, 4 March 2021 18:16 (three years ago) link
Yeah, I liked that.
― jmm, Thursday, 4 March 2021 18:21 (three years ago) link
That whole thing is almost too well written to believe
― Evan, Thursday, 4 March 2021 20:04 (three years ago) link
a 'blind squirrel finds nut' event or to use a different cliche, monkey with a Markov chain finally types Shakespeare.
― Judge Roi Behan (Aimless), Thursday, 4 March 2021 20:26 (three years ago) link
Transformer has gotten too good recently, it’s not as funny.
― Bruno Ganz and Babaloo Mandel (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, 4 March 2021 20:35 (three years ago) link
Adrian Chiles though.
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Thursday, 4 March 2021 20:53 (three years ago) link
Some other account of self which isn't captured by any of these options is that X is a named entity of not m arbitrary variable set , which I think is what I meant to convey.
Ok, so here's the slightly surprising thing.
The fix
As I've said, my first stab at it was wrong, so I'm going to look at something else.
Here's a comment around line 111 from section 7.4.9.2 of the original source. It starts as a strict subset of
Does not commute with pure laziness (nor with partial laziness) and is left unchanged when scalar is partial and lazy: ( ... ) ( self = pure (
― pomenitul, Thursday, 4 March 2021 20:55 (three years ago) link
JIMYou're not a permanent part of her life. You're a distraction.
LLOYDI'm the distraction that's going to England with her sir. Are you alright sir? Are you okay?
JIMI'm incarcerated, Lloyd! It's that damn divorce that's thrown me into prison.
LLOYD
(Laughs) Well I'm actually headed to England for a trip. You know what? Maybe I can talk to this English guy and get his advice. He's quite the expert in political investigations. He'll know how to free you.
JIM
You'd let me leave just to talk to some fucking expert?
Absolutely not!
Who's going to pay your taxi fare?
I'll find a way!
The fuck you will!
(Briefly) Just give me that purse.
JUDITH
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Thursday, 4 March 2021 22:48 (three years ago) link
why you coming homeat 5 in the mornsomething's going oncan I smell your dick?
my friend is right,
can't stay
under the same roof
with a skunk
dancing inside your skull.
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Thursday, 4 March 2021 22:54 (three years ago) link
Vigilante Shipbuilders- a new Manics-style band!??!VGA Videostars- Daft Punksters!!!!Get Carter- some London indie band's probably already used this!!!!Uncle Bulgaria's Catflap- "quirky" Betaband type "experimental" "collective"!!!
Yer Uncle- Las Rosas style Guapo
1-2 Beat For Sample- Class War/Moderndeveloped Indie, kinda "big wave"/Uncle Bulgaria, sound like Adoptive Family/Cipherme, similar to Propaganda/Uncle Bulgaria/Daft Punk-y!
Podgefyh- Smartass Jackal- style Godspeed You Black Emperor
Zambino- like OHEM|YHVH but really...
From last months!
Pyramid House- Guapo
Stray Dogs- CHAMBERLAIN BLOCK PARTY!!!
Sooty Pud- Campout Song stuff, like CAVALIA + CHAMBERLAIN BLOCK PARTY!!
Big Regards,
DAMIEN
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 02:55 (three years ago) link
1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard2. I'll move to San Francisco3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used before
5. Drink someone else's blood on Halloween night
6. Decorate my entire apartment, exterior and interior, with a prominent shredder logo.
7. Swap out weed for cocaine with an acquaintance (regarding the last one)
8. Shag my coat like a dog
9. Shag my face and share it with my twin, simultaneously making my twin pass out
10. Grunge as I pretend to be Marley, performing “Satisfy My Soul”
11. Take a thousand pictures of my twin (and have the mutual consent to publish the best ones)
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 08:52 (three years ago) link
More:
5. Write the BBC reality show Roxanne's Mum
6. Make Xena my girlfriend
7. Create the two slush buckets from Highlander
8. Invite John Cleese to live in my shed.
9. Join the St George's Day Parade as an infantryman carrying a spear, when really I just want to get a takeaway from Ikea.
10. Groom Mrs Rossiter
11. Become a gay lion for a photo shoot.
12. Accept a challenge to lose seven stone in seven days.
13. Create a scale model of the Titanic
14. Join the choir of a church
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 08:54 (three years ago) link
Become a gay lion for a photo shoot.
― Red Nerussi (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 09:18 (three years ago) link
Continuing a rolling Spotify playlist:
Masego - Mystery Lady (ft. Don Toliver)Pirra - Limousine Lies (Lindstrom & Prins Thomas Mix)Tkay Maidza - ShookDillinja - Hard Noize (Break Remix)The 1975 - Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless AmericaIntence - Yengo (Jannis Krell Remix)System Algol - PhactJackal Kid - DorobMarvin Humes - Come OnShellback - Sky DancerAtmoshpere - SpitfireFete - Prince Fatty (Da Quiet Dude Remix)Cheeky - Le Ray Ennio MorriconeLara Jane - Bite MeSlash ft. Wyclef - Up All NightBusy P - FeelKing Dizzy - VinsanityKero One - PaybackAfrojack ft. Slander - Rockafella (Skepta Remix)Wolfgang Gartner ft. Mind (Porter Robinson Remix)Philip Selway - Fifty Six And 16Big Data - The Bags
― Party With A Jagger Ban (dog latin), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 15:29 (three years ago) link