Talk to Transformer

pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

twitter was created before Twitter was cool (#3134997990724865167769 in a series.)

do not tweet this

don’t tweet this

don’t tweet this

don’t tweet this

@pitchfork is dumb

do not tweet this

DON’T.

Don’t do it.

DON’T DO IT.

Don’t.

Don’t.

DON’T DO IT.

1. a the number of times the number 1 occurs in a list.

2. the number of people who were telling me to do this in response to the #1337Manifesto.

3. “Duckmoo”, an “ok mr f is thinking this should go in the discography” observation.

4. last names beginning with the letters D and L.

5. “Duckmoo” and “don’t tweet this”.

Talk to Transronan

can we put this burrito out of its misery and stop eating it now

awwwwwwww man

HOLY SHIT I'M A RAVEN!!!

This here's just a bunch of video I shot just before she ate my burrito

good job raven you cool

but can we please get back to racing

LAAAAAAACHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

or jeez it took me a minute to get here

This is perfect, I'm gonna get to stay in first and first = first place

Heyyyyy, up here by the front

I think I'm gonna pass out before my turn

Did you hear that? I think I heard raven 's pain

Uh... so why did you go so far out?

I wanted to try my hand at some competitive driving!

THE VETERINARIAN IS IN THE BUILDING!!!

Please wait in the truck until I get my dogs!

I know it's only me and the owner here... but can we get back to racing now??

THE VETERINARIAN IS IN THE BUILDING!!!

Horrible 70s album titles like I've Got My Own Album To Do and Things Can Only Get Better often feature in lists of bad album names. It's no surprise, then, that the 1979 soundtrack album to the film The War Of The Roses will also feature in this feature. There's only one way to title a soundtrack album, after all - and that's "The War Of The Roses" (not "War Of The Roses"). A bit pedestrian, perhaps.

2. Kill The Beauty Queen

Kill The Beauty Queen was written and recorded at a time when Zoot Money's vocals were a mixture of New York and Broadway, and a string quartet. The War Of The Roses is no exception.

3. Sin City

When the cover to the original 1968 Oasis record the Bends appeared, it was instantly baffling. There were stripes on it, and what seemed to be a skyline painted onto a bag.

But who were Sin City? Not a band, and not a record - this was simply some of Oasis's best work painted on to a heavy metal band's back. The scene was a nod to Oasis's Manchester beginnings. The Oasis documentary Supersonic reveals that Noel Gallagher had planned Sin City as the band's name, but the record company (EMI) had to take it out before anyone bought it.

4. Elton Sings Cole Porter

Elton John actually sang lyrics written by Oscar Hammerstein II. But it still sounded terrible.

5. Cradle For The Dead

Cradle For The Dead is not a great album name. But that was the band who put it there, with a very poor sleeve design and an album entitled "Not For Sale".

Cradle For The Dead was the name of a famous meeting between Stalin and Hitler in 1943, when Stalin agreed to invade Finland from the east, but it was codenamed "Cradle For The Dead" after the first line of the poem Cradle of Filth by Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution. Stalin wrote on it: "I will not forget the ravages of war."

6. The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers

The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers was a case of poor marketing and bland indifference.

The album was originally named after the opening track, but changed at the insistence of the press. Rolling Stone magazine complained that it sounded too like a Kinks album (the critics can be very picky sometimes). The band themselves said that it had nothing to do with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. But the Stones didn't even bother with a nod to Hendrix, sticking with just the number two from the Hendrix song Purple Haze. And for this, they received the worst possible title in music history.

7. Sonic Youth - Cereal Killer

Worth a single look? Or just a miss?

8. Priest - Lionheart

Nothing says "I want to get your junk off" like a t-shirt featuring a naked man with a cross through his genitals. A cross may not be the most powerful of weapons, but it's certainly an easy target - if it's not too late, you can buy one from this snazzy new website.

9. Kiss - Power Station

This was in response to a controversy surrounding the use of the word "God" in KISS songs. Perhaps that's not so bad, but the cover is... well... it's basically a cartoon of a dragon urinating on a poster of Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons.

10. Bob Dylan - Infidels

This is more a case of the cover reflecting what is on the inside. One of the most iconic covers in rock history, "Infidels" is probably the only time that Bob Dylan has been beaten for ugliness, along with the band Manfred Mann.

guys you gotta do the bold thing so we know what the exact prompt was

sorry, thought it was obvious i was using thread titles

Well yeah speaking generally though

Brimstead, that one is amazing. I keep rereading it and laughing out loud.

The record cover one, that is.

but it was codenamed "Cradle For The Dead" after the first line of the poem Cradle of Filth by Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution.

Dying

The three most crucial events in the history of smoothcore music are probably the setting up of the Edinburgh Smoothcore collective and its associated labels Bakeshop and Luv-It Records in late-2013.

At a jam-packed Smashers And Beats party at the Roxy in London in April 2014, made up entirely of old friends and new and previous collaborators in the scene, the three acts in the room that have recently emerged as central figures in the scene - Slow Murderer, Black Freckle Red, and Laivyn - came together in one room.

Meanwhile, on a small corner of the web, overseas

i kinda like "Black Freckle Red"

It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time, August 29.

On August 30, it leaps to the summit of Mt. Aconcagua, the tallest peak in South America, at 15,879 feet.

The grain bag is then dropped to the bottom of a rain gutter on the 9th floor.

A review of the film in "The Chicago Sun-Times" described the work as "a piece of snappy humor", and "essentially an exercise in slapstick on an epic scale" with the author, Wilson, playing himself.

The story starts off when the self-aware robot gets a package of clothes from his supervisor.

me: i wonder what would happen if i trained the neural net gpt-2 on christmas carols?

me: ...

me: oh NOhttps://t.co/yabUIwvDgh pic.twitter.com/MRdEZX37Nr

— Janelle Shane (@JanelleCShane) December 24, 2019

Ice ice baby.
Enjoy.
Hey guys!
I'm going to try to post some photos and videos for you today.
The first is of a brand new bread I discovered while at an artisan market.
I have heard a lot about these European Breads from friends and their love affair with bread is starting to grow on me.
I really like the look of them and the taste is great as well.
They are called Capponi and the market we went to had a huge selection of different flavors.
I decided to try the Chocolate Capponi.
It was yummy!

forks, you need to listen to the songs based on that, they're ace.

reading this thread from the beginning last night was very therapeutic, multiple hard lols

5. The fact that he brought my girlfriend's photo and asked for a pic with my name attached

― jane (@jane4me)

This destroyed me

gah wrong one. meant to post this:

3. The fact that a couple of times during the interview, a white guy in a cowboy hat walked by the camera without taking any time to say hello

― dana lewis (@danalee)

lol, thanks for the heads up em; these are great!

Capponi breads seem like they could be reasonably bluffed into actual existence.

you never her your son.

everyone in our family who got her said you never for no reason.

i mean for the she is crazy always she you know.

i hope you get her.

she will make a pass at you.

it might have been but it could be and who knows after a couple of months she might just calm down.

being around you could even do wonders for her.

someone told me in the first year they have depresion.

ive had one good time where my son and i went to the exersice park, and some old people asked him to play ball.

it

Still sounds like Marissa tbh

I guess NKOTB gotta make a living in retirement somehow.

step one: we can have lots of fun
step two: there's so much we can do

step three: we have loads of money

step four: let's do as much as possible

step five: we'll save for our retirement

Step six: people will want to come to our town

step seven: the town will be very famous

step eight: lots of people will want to visit

step nine: our town will be very prosperous

STEP FOUR: I really want to open a restaurant

STEP FIVE: We will start selling food and drink to people coming to our town

STEP SIX: We will make a lot of money in the first year

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus and then I remembered the more innocent times.

Then I felt warm and comforted by that memory and tears trickled down my face.

"Merry Christmas Eve, my dear," the stranger said, and pulled my daughter from my arms.

Her small fingers tugged on his sleeve.

"I want to go with her," she said.

"It's time for her to be on her way home, Holly."

The man turned to me.

"Would you like to meet Santa Claus?"

I couldn't speak.

My daughter tugged on the stranger's sleeve.

"Don't worry," he said.

one just went by. "grim reapah!" burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb. and sometimes like there's this kinda reggae dub sorta beat and other times it's just regular reggae beat and in the middle is just grumbly grumbly dub sound where it's like," how ya doin ', grumbly grumbly grumbly ganma for ya for ya for ya for ya.

"" how ya doin ', grumbly grumbly grumbly ganma for ya for ya for ya for ya. "And sometimes there's dub sound for a long time and sometimes there's regular dub sound.

and there's this one place where you can sit and watch all of this.

usually all you see are old men and old women with camels and a few

Boris Johnson is a fucking cunt.

I don't have a class system system to match.

My goal is to have another one.

A good one.

A really good one.

One that will be awarded the Nobel Prize for fucking rock - hard assholes who just want to love you and fuck you.

Even better, it will be held in Brighton, just for me.

This blog will deal primarily with sex.

It will present arguments on how your brain works.

It will ask why you have the urge to bang women you barely know on the butt.

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost its wheels, and Alfred was decapitated.

Nothing but bad news around here folks, I have to take a moment and smile.

I have a yard full of fish.

They are all black and most of them are pregnant.

I think that I am going to stop writing and go dig out some old wellies and gloves.

I am going to dive into that pile of dead fish and scoop them all up and take them to the ocean.

I am sure that they will appreciate this as much as I did.

I'll wrap up in my big wellies and rush headlong into that ocean and let

irl lol'ed at the first line of Camaraderie's

"grumbly grumbly dub sound where it's like," how ya doin ', grumbly grumbly grumbly ganma for ya for ya for ya for ya."

love this

it's the missing bit that will finally help us find the type of hip hop burt so wanted to nail down

why is a raven like a writing desk?

my friend tells me it is because ravens are smart, and writing desks are stupid because they get in the way.

but i don't think it's the writing desk that's stupid.

i think it's the raven, the stupid stupid.

i go downstairs and sit on my parents bed and have a cigarette and think about writing about what a shitty day it's been and how i don't think it will ever be a good day again.

i look up at the window to see if the raven is there, and it is.

it's sitting on the ledge, wings outstretched,

Quoth the raven - "dude."

Why aren't you listening to Fishbone right now?

Did you see the newest Hanson video?

Where do you get those clothes?

You should totally just wear those overalls while you play video games and stuff.

You know what you're getting with that.

You're gonna want to play outside in the yard.

Laurie Craycraft.

* Yes, I would really like to punch this girl right in her face, but I really don't have a reason to do so.

I mean, this is just such a random coincidence that this is the person I'm thinking of when I try to think of how I hate bats

You should totally just wear those overalls while you play video games and stuff.

And, I'm gonna show you all, I'll even do it for you, now that I know how good at cooking you are."

"First you have to cover the surface area," Lou explained.

"So, I'll take my... my, um... socks off and use them to lay down paper on the floor.

Then, I'll use this glue stick to stick the gloves on the paper so that it looks like they're holding hands.

Once that's dry, I'll do the same with Jigglypuff's; just use her to glue on the... you know.

And then I'll let you all have a go with her

britney can i get your sister email why because she look intersting

i want to stalk ellen because i am in love with her and what she did to jennifer aniston

i have a 13 year old sister, but im still old enough to put makeup on her and she likes to practice her beauty on me!

i am the oldest.

my other sibs are 14, 11, 7, 6 and 3.

i spend every weekend babysitting.

since the oldest one is taking the years of my tween and into my teen (as soon as i turn 13), i am the most proud.

i spent the time when she couldn't, so she could, and now i do everything with her

Hey hip-hop nerds. What kind-of hip-hop is this?
The only place I've heard this kind-of hip hop is blasting from these cars that drive down streets really slowly at night in Brooklyn just blasting this weird kind-of hip-hop. It's dark and slow-mid-tempo and kinda spooky, and talking about death and darkness and other night kinda shit. What is this?

What I'm about to tell you might sound dumb to some of you, so let me sum up what I'm about to say: Ghostface Killah is talking about something called metalcore.

Hold up, what?

Metalcore! That's what he's talking about, and it's crazy to me because Ghostface Killah is also one of my favorite rappers, so it's not like he's just making up this nonsense for the hell of it.

It's from a song called "Chocolate Rain." In the middle of the song, he sings, "I had to go back to my birthplace and see

Why are sweaters considered wussy? There seems to be this general opinion, at least in the US, that wearing sweaters is something kind-of wussy and fey.

I would never call this impression unfair. They're awfully warm and thick and practical.

But it's just about the most absurdly short-sighted view of human behavior I can imagine.

Because that's just about all sweaters are.

Every sweater, no matter how it's worn, is a celebration of physics, biology, and thermodynamics.

Of clothes as costumes, and our lifelong dedication to turning ourselves inside-out in order to stay that way.

Of cold as a lifestyle choice, and clothing as the means to

Every sweater, no matter how it's worn, is a celebration of physics, biology, and thermodynamics.

haha awesome

Every sweater, no matter how it's worn, is a celebration of physics, biology, and thermodynamics. But there's also something organic and almost hippie-ish about it, too: turtlenecks serve as a reminder to men that they're in fact a part of nature, and not just observers in it.

Turtlenecks are the sonnet of male turtlenecks: They're utilitarian, but they don't apologize for being so. They're unapologetically able to embody multiple identities, and tell the story of their owner. They go with absolutely everything in the wardrobe, but they're equally at home in outerwear and in indian cotton.

https://i.etsystatic.com/16432782/r/il/36e26b/1744180752/il_fullxfull.1744180752_2rg4.jpg

yo i put a flexfit kangol through the dishwasher with one of those platic hat cages and the shit never was the same

dont be a cheap ass, just buy a new fucking hat and have more than one favorite hat, you got to switch your style up, that way you always looking fresh

fuck washing a hat, just stick it in there with your dicks so you don’t have to wash it

the sooner you learn to live on your own, the sooner you can get that fucker in the dishwasher

make sure the fucking dishwasher is super hot. you want that shit to dry out as fast as possible so your hat stays looking shiny

by using your dick you can hold your beer and put your flexfit kangol in there too

every now and then pop in your flexfit kangol and run through the dishwasher

you can throw a man at a cement mixer

well then

I'm not sure why Transformer is telling me to put my hat into my beer using my dick but CARPE DIEM

ahaha

these don't always end so well but the final line of that

transformer at its most rambunctious

i want the name of the one person responsible for the white dude in the old man hat voice at work.

i want a good solid reason why he does it.

it's like he's purposely trying to suck the life out of everyone he talks to, and when he tells a joke his buddies all start trying to one - up him on the humor of it.

it's worse than mcdonalds, because instead of an extra large happy meal, he gets an extra large frowning face with an extra large mcfrump in it. and the phone?

well, lets just say that, all's fair in love and hate, and that if a phone could do that in a mall it would be a

you can throw a man at a cement mixer

Dying

by using your dick you can hold your beer and put your flexfit kangol in there too

I...am in awe