New Yorker magazine alert thread

surely the equivalent would be going for a break from a meeting and jacking off in your office and being seen through the door that you left ajar by the people sat in the meeting room

poor vanilla ice

remember when paul reubens jacked off in an adult theater and was basically kicked out of show business for 20 years

don't know how to post this without it immediately seeming like i'm a jeff toobin creep, but

there are ways that you can, pretty innocently, accidentally expose yourself. perhaps toobin, like me, has a big computer monitor that he uses for multiple machines. i have both my mac and work computer plugged into one large screen. it's really useful! sometimes i do picture-in-picture and have work and non-work stuff side-by-side, other times i switch one or the other to full screen.

i haven't read all the toobin details so maybe it's already been embarrassingly and painstakingly revealed (no pun intended) to everyone. but to me, it's plausible that on Work Computer, he's in the New Yorker zoom call and everyone takes a break. he mutes his line, and thinks he mutes his video as well. then he switches to the other screen and decides he's feeling really horny and goes for it. meanwhile, on the other screen, Andy Borowitz is watching in shocked horror and fascination. there are other scenarios, too, that aren't quite as evil and malign as lots of people (here and others) immediately seem to gravitate toward, and all of these scenarios also involve Andy Borowitz, and are thus not funny.

there was a side discussion somewhere about the inappropriateness of jerking off at work. Regardless of your take on that, I think it's fair to argue the lines between work/home are extremely blurred right now. it's not appropriate to watch fast and furious 4 at work, normally. but how many people working from home have movie/tv/music playing in the background? not saying it's the same deal, just saying i'm pretty sure there are a loooooot of people who are doing intimate things during work hours right now.

i'm sure someone will immediately point me to the vanity fair article where it is reported that toobin revealed himself in the most despicable, hurtful, unforgivable way. and based on other links upthread, yeah toobin seems like a likely candidate for getting caught masturbating on zoom. but people do all sorts of things in their homes, and pandemic work is the same location as the home, for many people. i haven't read anything about the toobin incident in weeks, but even the retelling of it by borowitz unnamed eyewitnesses made me think that toobin was doing his masturbation routine and made a tech mistake

if you decide that immediately after a work video call is the best time for your "masturbation routine" and you don't first leave the meeting, quit the app, turn your computer off, throw it out the window and buy a new one, then you deserve whatever comes your way.

again, i think it's fine toobin got fired - that's what happens when you get caught masturbating at work, in general. but i don't think he's a monster for it (unless, again, there are newer details i missed)

i don't know that anyone is calling him a monster for this particular dumbfuck activity on his part, just that his public shaming and firing are hardly unjustified!

firing = justified
public shaming = unjustified, imo

and i guess i do see "public shaming" and "being a monster" as highly related

like, we don't resort to public shaming for people who accidentally mess up, we reserve it for people like michael vick

I think it doesn’t seem like he deliberately masturbated on camera

wasn't the entire point that he was deliberately masturbating on camera, but forgot to log off from one meeting before jacking off on another

or "forgot"

wasn't the entire point that he was deliberately masturbating on camera, but forgot to log off from one meeting before jacking off on another

i believe that was the version of the story that everyone told themselves, but again, i think it's very possible that what he was doing was very much NOT deliberately masturbating on camera

like, i have a webcam hooked up to my computer. it's usually not on. i hate to scandalize people, but sometimes i masturbate near my computer. and the webcam is probably pointed in my direction!

maybe i'm misunderstanding something. but a lot of people have cameras on their computers that have absolute 0% to do with masturbation

honestly, i think people are just afraid to talk to each other about this stuff, even here? like, i think a lot of people jerk off to webcams these days? personally, i don't. but maybe some people (here and elsewhere) are just immediately gravitating to "and then toobin switched over to the cam model he was video chatting with" or something similar? and believe it or not, since a lot of people don't talk about it, i'm sure some other people gravitate toward something like "and then toobin reached into his drawer and pulled out his dirty magazines", or "and then toobin grabbed his fleshlight and proceeded to replace the AA batteries", or whatever our personal idea of forbidden masturbation is

whatever it is, i'm not sure anyone really knows toobin's work computer/display setup. there are many different arrangements that lead to something that is much more of a embarrassing human kind of error, as opposed to a willingly sleazy risk that deserves shame

my assumption would be he was beating it to porn and just had a spell of "being a boomer online" and did not mute his video from the meeting

Why not assume the people who saw and heard him during the call drew their conclusions from what they saw and heard him doing? idgi

Mr. Toobin switched to a second call that was the video-call equivalent of phone sex, according to the two people familiar with the call, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

People are focusing too much on whether Toobin "deserves" to be fired, as though it's a judgment of his character that necessarily must take into account his intentions and his past behavior. But it's not really about him at all. It's absolutely in Conde Nast's interest as an employer to draw clear lines when it comes to sexual misconduct. By enforcing a zero-tolerance policy, it sets an example across the organization and helps protect employees in circumstances that aren't as seemingly silly, or who may be less able or willing to shrug off seeing their coworkers' junk on camera.

I mean, I get that Karl is furiously jacking it rn, posting with one hand while a script autoscrolls through every wdyll thread on a third monitor, but it's okay to say so

it's how i've always done it, and i assume that all of you are doing it too

i dunno, maybe i'm not expressing myself well, or i'm just wrong. to me, confirming that he got caught via video sex (as opposed to the other dozens of ways you can be naked near your computer) is an embarrassing detail, but ultimately irrelevant. i don't think he did it on purpose, and i don't think anyone else does too. like jim said, i see him as a boomer who made a dumb tech error.

maybe that's all anyone else is saying, too, who knows

Has anyone even thought that maybe Toobin was in the middle of masturbating and *then* all those famous people from the New Yorker called? And he thought, gah, now!? Of all times? And sort of dutifully put a pause on his activities, took part in the call, and the second it was over thought, OK, where was I? Oh yeah, back to business!

In other words, it's all *their* fault.

he was seen lowering and raising his computer camera, exposing and touching his penis, and motioning an air kiss to someone other than his colleagues

fixed

i see him as a boner who made a dumb tech error.

ok, so it was cam sex

just innocently pounding away with the cam girl he speed dials the second a work meeting ends

everyone else on the call should be fired for watching pornography at work imo

Karl, you realize that what you have there is a neglected potential income stream, right?

i just like chatting with mr toobin, ok

Why not assume the people who saw and heard him during the call drew their conclusions from what they saw and heard him doing? idgi

Mr. Toobin switched to a second call that was the video-call equivalent of phone sex, according to the two people familiar with the call, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.
― huge rant (sic), Wednesday, December 16, 2020 12:30 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've been sic'd

fair enough, I suppose I didn't care enough about the story to delve in, but then I shouldn't comment from a point of ignorance.

Toooooobin'
On a Sunday afternoon

everyone else on the call should be fired for watching pornography at work imo

https://newrepublic.com/article/160595/new-yorker-japan-rent-family-fabricated

I mean.... listen you get caught wacking off at work you're gonna get fired I have no idea what type of debate there's supposed to be

Debate was getting fired vs getting publicly shamed, I think, as well as what constitutes “at work” and how the pandemic has arguably changed things. But I think I was the only one who thought any of those things might be relevant, which would mean the debate was more of a dumb guy saying things

you get caught wacking off at work you're gonna get fired I have no idea what type of debate there's supposed to be

Can't get caught if no one is looking. Takes two to tango.

not sure he for sure would have gotten fired had the story not leaked

Was it just the story that leaked?

(Sorry, I'm twelve)

km otm

someday this thread will be in SNA and it will be about a New Yorker article rather than Toobin's dick

nah

maybe we need a new thread: New Yorker magazine alert thread: post-Zoom Jackin' incident edition

(this is petty but at least not toobin-related...) had a hard time with this sentence in anthony lane's 2020 roundup article: "covid-19, an affliction that, like a notable Burgundy, will forever bear the date of its vintage."

ah yes, thank you for finding a way to invoke the mental image of you decanting a fine wine while referencing this tragedy

"September 11, like one's first visit to a favorite Montparnasse brasserie, was a morning that will always be remembered"

Does Anthony Lane have photos of David Remnick’s Toobin or something because he’s the absolute worst

Isn't Lane married to arch-fuckwit-COVID-denier Allison Pearson?

someday this thread will be in SNA and it will be about a New Yorker article rather than Toobin's dick

The Lawrence Wright piece in the current issue about the critical first months of US COVID response is more interesting than Toobin's dick, and substantially longer

Whoa I was not even aware of Allison Pearson, much less her connection to Lane. She seems pretty terrible.

It's also depressing to realize Lane has now been a New Yorker critic for five years longer than Kael was. They need to shake that up.