Jesus Fucking Christ: evangelical bigwig opposed gay marriage "because it takes the dirt and danger out of clandestine sex with rent-a-men"

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while tweaked out of my mind

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe he has a chronic agonizing back problem that can only be treated by a combination of meth and massage, and the fact that you can't do meth with a legitimate massage has driven him into the shady underworld of non-professional ... massage.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I want to see a comprehensive breakdown of the dates and times this guy was actually in the White House, just to see if they match up with Jeff Gannon's visits.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

he advocates the laying on of hands, while partaking in the ephedrine of the soil

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Richard Cizik, vice president for government affairs for the evangelicals association, expressed shock.

"Is this something I can imagine of Ted Haggard? No," he said.

i love how theres always some dude who says this - yeah i dont spend alot of time imagining a wrinkly old dude getting teabagged in some econolodge neither!!!

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

id love for them to ask somebody from his church or whatever and hes like 'yeah i gotta say, ive imagined ted haggard fucked up on crank getting his balls sucked by a grandpa plenty of times'

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

MIKE JONES ON MSNBC RIGHT NOW!!!!

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

That'll be in the bonus features on the Jesus Camp DVD, I'll bet.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

(xpost)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

PRETTY HOT FOR 59 TOO!!!

XPOST

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

ROFLZ

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha wait he bought meth from the gay escort, but apparently "HE NEVER USED IT."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:37 (seventeen years ago) link

"I was just buying it for uh a friend Dick Cizik."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:38 (seventeen years ago) link

"AND AS FAR AS 'JUST A MASSAGE'... WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO CALL IT, THAT'S UP TO HIM"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

DIDNT REALIZE WHO HAGGARD WAS UNTIL HE SAW HIM ON DISCOVERY CHANNELS SPECIAL ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST!!!!

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

pwn3d

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

am I alone in kinda sorta hoping that there actually IS a gay cabal out to undermine the religious right...? that after years of being scapegoated and being used as a wedge issue maybe some angry fags got together and said "allright, this election cycle = PAYBACK TIME".

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

"TYPICALLY $200, THERE WERE TIMES HE WOULD GIVE ME A LITTLE EXTRA!"

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

just as long as you dont hope their next mission is raping the shit out of rachel ray

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

how would that advance anyone's political cause?

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Mike Jones is Grade-A man meat for a 59 year old hooker.

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha isn't he 49?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

omg I so ashamed of running joke abt rachel ray between me n the wife

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

49. sorry. Def. hot for 49 though, too.

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

http://slacktivist.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/mike.jpg

media/blog coverage:

-from Time Magazine

-Reaction from the guy who wrote that Harper's piece

-my usual go-to-guy for stuff like this, who mentions that Haggard was one of the guys who supported the fundies running amuck at the U.S. Air Force Academy(also located in Colorado Springs, where I almost attended)

-Dan Savage and here

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

omg I so ashamed of running joke abt rachel ray between me n the wife

???

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha

http://static.crooksandliars.com/2006/11/haggerd-bush.jpg

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

awesome!

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:02 (seventeen years ago) link

(ethan's ref'ing a post of mine on the thread about TV chefs for no apparent reason)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

The portrait of George Washington there has no comment.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

glad something came along to boot Kerry offa the headlines

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:07 (seventeen years ago) link

unfortunately, no TDS/TCR tonight, which their writers must be kicking themselves over, since this story will probably be overtaken by whatever happens next by sunday/monday.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

remember katrina-gate happening when they were on vacation for a week?

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

unfortunately, for certain select die-hard evangelicals, i think this is only going to cement the belief that no one, NO ONE!! is safe from the temptations of TEH GAY MENACE.
-- elmo argonaut (elmo.oxyge...), November 3rd, 2006 8:57 AM.

I'm starting to believe that people who say "homosexuality is a choice" and believe that exposure to the very concept opens the door to "conversion" are... well... telling the truth as they know it.

― hearditonthexico (rogermexico), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Is it as good and even-handed as everyone is making it out to be?

I'm waiting for the DVD also. In other news, the Jesus Camp camp won't be in ND anytime soon.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:45 (seventeen years ago) link

How much meth can you get for $100-$200?

― Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:59 (seventeen years ago) link

He'z on MSNBC again right now.

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:03 (seventeen years ago) link

telling the truth as they know it.

yeah, similarly, i think that these folks' fucked-up view of gay people comes from the few massively closeted & dysfunctional gay folks in their own midst. In other words, when you repress that much, that deeply, for that long, shit's gunna manifest itself in even more fucked up ways.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:11 (seventeen years ago) link

"How much meth can you get for $100-$200?"

An 1/8th probably.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Which would last this guy, like, how long?

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:18 (seventeen years ago) link

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=65374563

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:19 (seventeen years ago) link

excellent find.

Movies Napoleon Dynamite

oh and like this is a big fucking surprise

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:21 (seventeen years ago) link

"Which would last this guy, like, how long?"

Depends. Probably last a serious user a week if they only used it themselves. If he was sharing it with a bunch of folks, maybe as little time as a long weekend.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

very dissapointed Pastor Ted's myspace has disabled comments.

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Who I'd like to meet:

Jesus... after I die.

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Ross Parsley

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Ross's comments are NOT disabled...and he has music! His own!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=57573578

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:36 (seventeen years ago) link

scary amount of dudes have him as a friend & unironically list him as one of their heroes

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Of that I have no doubt, sadly.

Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

Wasn't that a King of the Hill episode?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 21:39 (seventeen years ago) link

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