I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

VAR

when I played Marley's ghost in a middle school production of ACC, I mostly shrieked wordlessly at him or wailed, you could say

Imagine a Linda Perry/Steve Tyler screech duet

― DJP, Wednesday, December 2, 2020 9:18 AM bookmarkflaglink

i love that this poll is on ile

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 9:20 AM bookmarkflaglink

Finally, a Tyler Perry that white people can understand.

― pplains, Wednesday, December 2, 2020 10:00 AM bookmarkflaglink

Ha. I once used "Tyler/Perry's 'Dude (Looks Like a Lady)'" as a display name -- thinking of Joe Perry in that case.

I was getting ready to post about how I was tired of 95% of excelsiors being puns/wordplay, but Jacob Marley - Jah Humbug is ace.

aren't jokes inherently wordplay to some degree

sometimes it's just being really fucking mean to someone

those are called "pranks bro"

World cup wind-ups

aren't jokes inherently wordplay to some degree

i had a very serious discussion about comedy with my neighbor and best friend down the street, when i was 6 or 7. back in the days when it made a lot of sense that your best friend just happened to live next to you.

he was always telling "jokes", and would ask me to tell "jokes". jokes as in "a 5-year-old walks into a bar..." etc etc. i told him (this part is serious, i remember it) that the kind of jokes i liked better were like -- i didn't understand "situational" or "physical" -- someone slipping on a banana peel

and in a way i still feel like that

would definitely support more EXCELSIORS featuring people falling over

or penguins

we need a bit more sophistication like people falling over penguins

or people stumbling over tricky passages in penguin classics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuhMtBHc5Z0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8

It's a pity lex checked out before he saw the real potential of ilx comedy

Last president to ok a guillotining iirc so

― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:26 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

more men shd be called valery

― mark s, Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:26 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

A lot of them are in Russia.

― ILXceptionalism (Tom D.), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:28 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Most humane method of execution imho

― facebook post with 12 'likes' does not count as peer-reviewed research (Matt #2), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:31 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Living in Russia?

― discogs marketplace of ideas (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:32 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

naw

Made me lol, sorry.

lolzhenitsyn

I would like to withdraw my nomination from the Excelsioscars, appreciated as it is, it's got the rhythm of a good joke but doesn't actually make any sense.

the tabes lol is the tabes lol

I will say this for Armond, he’s one of the few film critics my kids can name becz his reviews get trolled so much on social media.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, December 3, 2020 1:47 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

My kids have actually asked me, “What’s the deal with Armond White,” which is one of those parenting questions you’re never really ready for.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, December 3, 2020 1:48 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

you haven't had the talk yet?

― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, December 3, 2020 3:49 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

"When a man hates a critic very much ..."

Are you playing games here? Cabinet level officials are nominated by the president, and are subject to senate confirmation. But the senate can't appoint anyone. Only the president can.

― Respectfully Yours, (Aimless), Wednesday, December 9, 2020 2:09 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sorry, yes, games. I am sometimes triggered by your relentless pedandtry.

― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, December 9, 2020 2:13 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

it's pedantry

― rob, Wednesday, December 9, 2020 2:17 PM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I knew what it would be before I even clicked. I approve (of pedantry in general).

The only thing that could've made it more beautiful is if rob had also misspelled pedantry.

Ped and try.

If you don't ped and try, then try, try again

Please stop attempting ped

Stop trying to make ped happen

walk away

Walk away softly, that's the pedi-cure

Droll

That's a real ped xing!

StDroll

pedophiles, the lot of you

it's paedophiles

Stop being so paedantic.

it's pædantic

I rewatched Avatar last night and it is both totally captivating and such egregious horseshit

― DJP, Sunday, December 13, 2020 4:01 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

^^ i've already said my piece all over this thread but this. it's also still the most effective example of theatrical 3D to date

― Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Monday, December 14, 2020 11:38 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It still cracks me up that the primary theme of the movie is "got a problem? CONNECT IT TO YOUR SPACE DICK"

― DJP, Monday, December 14, 2020 11:52 AM

Play Bobby Dylan, play Murder Most Foul
You're still playing it, it takes round an hour

― loose Orwellian mobs (rob), Tuesday, December 15, 2020 9:09 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

so true

Seems like there must be a host of movies whose central problem could be solved with googling.

― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 19 December 2020 13:55 (thirteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

certainly Google would have saved all that time looking for the Maltese Falcon

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 December 2020 13:56 (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

could've checked the seller rating too

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 December 2020 13:57 (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Thats five star stuff imo

https://lmgtfy.app/?q=who+is+keyser+soze

Sorry for the insider I Love Hoops joke, but it's too good not to offer:

Kawhi Leonard, referencing his own potential free agency, said he's "just focused on this season."

Added that: "If I stay healthy, the best decision is to decline the player option but it doesn't mean I'm staying or leaving."

— Andrew Greif (@AndrewGreif) December 21, 2020

oh ok

― reggae mike love (polyphonic)

bored man gets paid

― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu)

I got that one!

feel like some people know it as the

*heart in a blender song
*the 'beautiful oblivion' song
*the 'rendezvous then I'm through with you' song
*the 'terrible' song

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, December 24, 2020 5:16 AM

It’s not that terrible. As a kid I liked it because it had the word “rendezvous” and a few other long words.

― treeship., Thursday, December 24, 2020 5:18 AM

you must have *loved* Bad Religion

― Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, December 24, 2020 5:20 AM

this is one of those threads that I am too old to feel anything about. ... This is a good part of getting older.

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII)
Posted: December 24, 2020 at 5:44:14 PM
merry merry ilx!

may your ribcage make for manger and your heart a throbbing Christ-baby