Before I started blowing leaves to the curb last weekend, I moved the Honda from the driveway to the street. I don't drive it much anymore, so not much that I've even removed its chunky fob from my key ring. So after I parked it, I dropped the key into my left breast pocket.
Came inside, ate a sandwich, and then went back out, spending the next hour or so herding leaves. Finished up, put the rake and blower back in the garage, hung up my jacket and then realized that the key was no longer in the pocket. Or the other pocket. Or in my pants pockets. Or in the Honda itself.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It's not a huge yard, but it's bigger than a haystack. Started thinking about where I would've bent over, and sure enough, in this one section where there had been some thorny vines I had pulled up, there was half of the plastic piece to the fob. The key (and battery and other half) were still missing.
I dug around through the soil, the thorny vines, thinking that surely a metal key would stick out more than a black plastic fob. And if I had blown it down the driveway, surely I would've heard the sound of metal skidding down concrete, even with the blower at full blast. I notice other little non-organic debris, wouldn't I have spotted MY KEY?
It didn't make sense, but that defense couldn't stand up to the actual piece of plastic I kept taking out and looking at. The very scuffed up piece of plastic, that had been inside my pocket no more than two hours ago with the rest of its assembly. Something wasn't adding up, and looking at the four-foot high pile of leaves that stretched from my driveway to the neighbor's line, I was going to take a break,
Went inside, took my shoes off, went into the kitchen, instinctively opened the junk drawer to throw the fob into and there was my actual Honda key. I must've put it there for good keeping when I ate my sandwich.
Not sure where this other fob came from. If someone out there on Nextdoor has lost part of the key to their Red Herring, drop me a DM.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 12:19 (three years ago) link
spooky!
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 14:45 (three years ago) link
Maybe the junk drawer key was a spare that you put there long ago, and the current key is still among the leaves.
― nickn, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 17:51 (three years ago) link
When the absent-minded reach conclusions that satisfy them, best let it be
― calstars, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 17:54 (three years ago) link
I totally expected to look in my hand at that moment to find the broken fob had disappeared.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:18 (three years ago) link
I did look in the mirror to see I had aged 25 years, but that happens every morning now LOL.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:19 (three years ago) link
I was talking to Mr Veg last week & forgot ***mid-conversation*** what we were talking about. O_O
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 20:27 (three years ago) link
Ugh I do that a lot, especially lately. Menopause is a bitch!
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 21:22 (three years ago) link
Texted my wife, turned off the computer, put my jacket on and walked toward the lobby on my way home.
Get a weird feeling and ask the receptionist what time is it? "It's 3:08."
Like most, I usually don't leave until five.
So here's the weird parts to all that:
• I think my Android phone has done something funny. It said something about updating the time zones and then said it was only 3 pm after restarting. Out of frustration, I manually set it to five.• I walk across the office and see that sales is still here. Sales is never here after five on Fridays. Think nothing of it.• Check my computer and see that it's on Pacific Time too for some reason. Think that our office's whole IP address must've got messed up somehow, but eh, I'll mention it on Monday.
Serious as a heart attack on all of those. I wasn't trying to be cute.
I mean, I guess I really wanted to go home a few hours ago?
― pplains, Friday, 11 December 2020 22:50 (three years ago) link
Got some fancy noise canceling headphones and put on some vaporwave bullshitGo to the kitchen and wash my coffee cup and filter, put it to the side for laterGo back to the living room, sit on the couchFew minutes later I notice my kid yelling at me and waving his arms to get my attention “Dad! The waters still on!”
― calstars, Friday, 11 December 2020 23:54 (three years ago) link
(ignore the subtext of this which is that neither me or mr veg can stand to be wrong ... our conversations oftendevolve into did not/did too)Pulled up Chris Cornell’s cover of “Patience” to play for Mr Veg last night & was like “Hey check this out!” Mr Veg: you’ve heard this. I showed it to you sometime this summerMe: I have never heard thisMr Veg: sure you have! Me: (getting annoyed)Nooooo. i havent heard it thats why i’m playing it for you😬Him: you probably forgot, you have definitely heard it Me: GODDAMMIT I SAID I HADNT HEARD IT DONT YOU THINK I WOULD REMEMBER IF I HAD 🤬matter is droppedsomehow comes up again today at lunchtime.devolves in a similar fashion I mime choking Mr Veg bc I am convinced he’s gaslighting meHe’s like, dude i remember we watched it on the tv together. See, I even sent it to you & pulls up a text message he sent to me “hey check this out! + Cornell video link”sent July 29 of this year O_O... i stand corrected am now VERY concerned at the state of my memory loss :(
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 December 2020 00:58 (three years ago) link
Just take it slow, and I bet it'll work itself out fine.
― pplains, Saturday, 12 December 2020 03:35 (three years ago) link
looool
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 December 2020 03:36 (three years ago) link
ah we've had that conversation a lot!I used to have the better memory, now I just shrug and at least recognise that I've probably forgotten more than I'll ever know.
― kinder, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:18 (three years ago) link
actually my 'new' thing is there are certain people/celebs I can never remember if they're actually dead or not. I know there's a thread. But I really couldn't tell you if, say, Patricia Routledge was alive or no. (I just looked it up; she is).
― kinder, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:19 (three years ago) link
yeahy hate that, keep finding people on the relevbant threads saying this perosn just died and me thinking id heard it several years ago.~}May just be significant birthdays .Or is it me slipping between uinverses
― Stevolende, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:29 (three years ago) link
About an hour into the work day, I realize that my keys were not in my back pocket. Oh crap, did I lock them in the car?
Yup. Also, the car was still RUNNING.
One amused cop later, I've got my keys back.
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:57 (three years ago) link
we are all slipping through universes
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 December 2020 17:01 (three years ago) link
Recently went into the kitchen to make some tea. We have this old vintage Nally Ware set I got off my grandparents and I use the green one for teabags and the smallest one for sugar:
https://www.picclickimg.com/d/l400/pict/203064322997_/Vintage-Nally-Ware-Canisters.jpg
Went to put sugar in my tea and found a pile of teabags in there. Which Barney had stuffed in, on top of the sugar already in the bloody canister.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 14 December 2020 02:14 (three years ago) link
often when I'm cooking I keep earnestly opening the fridge door with a solid plan to get something I need and then drift off somewhere and wonder why I'm stood in front of open fridge.
― calzino, Monday, 14 December 2020 02:25 (three years ago) link
sensory overload and doing too much at once, probably, rather than brain damage. I rather hopefully tell myself!
― calzino, Monday, 14 December 2020 02:34 (three years ago) link
^ Same here except I tack on anxiety about keeping the fridge door open at the right angle on its hinge so that it doesn’t automatically start to close and hit my arm while I’m trying to get at the sour cream
― calstars, Monday, 14 December 2020 03:15 (three years ago) link
It wasn't the first time I cracked an egg and emptied its contents directly into the trash, and I'm certain that it won't be the last.
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Monday, 14 December 2020 03:24 (three years ago) link
Absolute favorite thread <3
― epistantophus, Monday, 14 December 2020 13:33 (three years ago) link
Certain seems a bit strong for this thread xp
― groovypanda, Monday, 14 December 2020 14:15 (three years ago) link
Making scrambled eggs, put some pepper in the eggs
[Five seconds pass]
Ew, there's a weird dark peppery thing in my eggs, better take it out
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 23 December 2020 12:33 (three years ago) link
Disrobing for a showerTurning the water onPutting on clean socks
― calstars, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 00:18 (three years ago) link
https://epn.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/best-water-socks-1.png
― nickn, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 00:23 (three years ago) link
All too often, as soon as I get into the shower, my brain says "Are you still wearing your glasses?"
So far, my brain has been wrong, which I'm clinging to as proof that I'm not senile yet.
― Hideous Lump, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 04:15 (three years ago) link
Don't you wear your glasses in the shower? Maybe it depends on how shortsighted you are?I find it helps to be able to see.
― Stevolende, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 07:58 (three years ago) link
I'm very shortsighted and I don't, don't really need to see much. Also helps me ignore how filthy the shower is.
― nickn, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 17:28 (three years ago) link
Go to the kitchen to make coffeeNotice the coffee jar is almost empty Refill the coffee jar from master coffee stashPut away refilled coffee jarNotice there is no coffee in the coffeemaker
― calstars, Wednesday, 3 February 2021 20:47 (three years ago) link
As I think I said before about something I posted here, this may be more for a general-stupidity thread; it's a fine line.
I moved into my house a little over a year ago. For the first few months, the dryer worked fine. The last few, though, it seemed to increasingly take forever--up to an hour to dry one load. Tried different settings, nothing worked. I was ready to buy a new one. Tonight, though, I noticed for the first time where the lint catcher is. I used to empty that vigilantly with my old dryer, but this one is a little less conspicuous, and it's the kind of thing I don't think of on my own. The lint was so backed up, I thought at first it was some kind of filter. Took me 15 minutes with a screwdriver to get it all out. I assume that was the problem.
― clemenza, Monday, 8 February 2021 02:02 (three years ago) link
In an AirBnB in Tokyo I wondered why the washing machine took a long time to drain, noticed it had a lint trap, which when opened contained what looked like a felt brick. It worked rather better after removing that.
― assert (MatthewK), Monday, 8 February 2021 02:31 (three years ago) link
Just cut the drying cycle from 60 to 20 minutes. It's another Festivus miracle.
― clemenza, Monday, 8 February 2021 02:58 (three years ago) link
My sister just pointed out something I was thinking too: I'm damn lucky I didn't set the whole house on fire.
― clemenza, Monday, 8 February 2021 03:14 (three years ago) link
IN the past few months we have lost 3 coffee glasses, a good knife, and the bottle of white vinegar.
The knife turned up hidden in thr bottom of the slot for scissors in the knifeblock.
The vinegar had been put under the sink among all the cleaning products.
The coffee glasses have *disappeared*.
Barney thinks hes done all this and now worries he threw the cups in the bin lol.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2021 03:40 (three years ago) link
been there :/
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 8 February 2021 03:41 (three years ago) link
For those of you thinking “hm, yes, I must empty my dryer lint trap more often” I offer you these words of wisdom: change your furnace filter.
― Guys don’t @ me because I tazed my own balls alright? (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 8 February 2021 05:08 (three years ago) link
amen
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 8 February 2021 06:03 (three years ago) link
Good thing it's early and I'm fully awake...I just ordered something on AbeBooks and noticed I'd accidentally put a collection of John Updike's Rabbit books in my cart a few weeks ago. I sometimes look at the most expensive version of whatever I'm looking for on there just for fantasyland kicks; this happened to be more than $3,000. Caught it immediately, of course; if I'd been ordering at two in the morning, who knows.
― clemenza, Monday, 22 February 2021 00:38 (three years ago) link
Not sure if I took a shower earlier but the wet bath slippers by the door seem to indicate that I did
― calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 04:56 (three years ago) link
the other day Mr Veg caught himself pouring milk into the water reservoir of the espresso machinei cheered because i was happy to not be alone in my dumb weird behaviour lol
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 27 February 2021 05:20 (three years ago) link
We've been using a bunch of different eco-friendly gels and tablets for the washing machine and dishwasher for a while now so it's amazing that I've only just got them mixed up. Washing machine gel pack in the dishwasher = suds all over the kitchen floor.
― Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Sunday, 16 May 2021 11:59 (two years ago) link
I moved in with my dad for one year, my senior year. He lived in the city, I had been living with my mom in the sticks with no cable, no sewer system and certainly no dishwashing machine.
To this day, he still brings up the time he asked me to load the dishwasher and start a run before I went to school. And how surprised he was at all the foam and bubbles on the floor when he brought his sleepy ass down the stairs at 10:30 am.
I had no idea that you weren't supposed to just squirt enough Joy dishwashing liquid into the little box and leave it like that!
― pplains, Sunday, 16 May 2021 18:15 (two years ago) link
um, real books don't have backlights, in going to need to turn the bedside light back on in order to read it.
― koogs, Sunday, 30 May 2021 22:18 (two years ago) link
otm
― AP Chemirocha (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 30 May 2021 22:24 (two years ago) link
it would seem so
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 May 2021 22:29 (two years ago) link
I have never yet actually done it, but sometimes when looking at an illustrated book or magazine I have the momentary urge to put two fingers on the paper and zoom in.
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Monday, 31 May 2021 04:12 (two years ago) link
omg i caught myself doing that ages agoi hate admitting that out loud
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 31 May 2021 04:22 (two years ago) link