if ilx has taught me anything* it's that all woes are real, and blueness is a shifty concept that never fully matches up to a set of tangible causes. also maybe nonsense is some kind of fertile mulch idk it comes and it goes, hope yours goes soon
*it has not**
**ok it really really has but there's nothing funny about sincerity
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 October 2020 14:21 (three years ago) link
listening to youtubes of the Heart Sutra with a grand miserable empty feeling of empty lostness, nowhere to go, nothing to do, absolutely out of touch
might get dressed and take this outside, can't shake it lately, actual problems should be gently receding but as they do the aloneness swooshes up the beach to fill their place
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:13 (three years ago) link
something something attachment something something the web of following on Twitter
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:16 (three years ago) link
I was thinking of you yesterday! Sorry to hear you’re feeling down, but I hope the 🤞🏻 we have been talking about helps somewhat?
― liberté, égalité, scampé (gyac), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:17 (three years ago) link
it will help? this emptiness is happening in the waiting, i guess. but also when you're in limbo that's when the real things - which are lol irreal - have the time to come out and play maybe
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:23 (three years ago) link
and of course lockdown brings down the psychic shutters a bit, again.
but this is the real emptiness, this is what's always here even when you're not looking
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:24 (three years ago) link
Is it rude to ask you to put your clever brain to work to think of a new dn for me in the hopes of distracting you from the abyss
― liberté, égalité, scampé (gyac), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:38 (three years ago) link
lol let's see if a walk kickstarts some kind of brain function
i came up with one the other week and didn't want to change this one because i was still running it in and now i've forgotten what the other one was
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:40 (three years ago) link
It’s really unfair because yours are by far the best
― liberté, égalité, scampé (gyac), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:41 (three years ago) link
oh stop
throw enough scamp at the wall
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:42 (three years ago) link
Probably because I’ve been thinking about both Rome (2005) and Hadrian I’m like trying to think of a Latin type oneLike, x, y, scampus
― liberté, égalité, scampé (gyac), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:44 (three years ago) link
have we had scampus fugit?
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:46 (three years ago) link
We have not!
― scampus fugit (gyac), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:48 (three years ago) link
Imo the struggle of, and with, sunyata is real... Being awfully far from enlightenment (=acceptance somewhat of the void, or: accepting the void, but... then what remains? where does that leave me, if not dead?) myself lol, I always took the conclusion of the sutra ("Gate, Gate, Paragate, Para Sam gate Bodhisvaha", something like "Gone, gone, gone to the other shore, awakening, svava") as a transcendental journey of the spirit, or the all, that crossed over from outside our emptiness, from out of all emptiness, to what comes after emptiness (enlightening). But it's very hard to even see the other shore, let alone... etc.
That's on me because I'm a terrible Buddhist lol, but if what you mean is the strong desire to even catch a glimpse of the other shore, of leaving emptiness (and any desire, for that matter) behind to the state of just (non-)being, then boy I hear you.
<3
― A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 9 November 2020 11:57 (three years ago) link
It turns out that long dark nights, lockdowns, deadly pandemics, shitty politics, minimal interaction outside your immediate family, and an ever-growing list of serious/chronic physical health issues is not good for one's mental resilience.
Feeling blue.
― here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:14 (three years ago) link
<3 sorry to hear that bud. everything on top of everything else is a lot right now
don't know if a long walk upped my serotonin but at least i'm knackered and sweaty and can lie back on the settee with a clear conscience
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:23 (three years ago) link
Long walks always help - though my walk on Saturday was cut short by a herd of HUGE cows that were big enough to provoke a Dark Souls style 180.
― here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:40 (three years ago) link
cowvid ruins 2020 yet again
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:46 (three years ago) link
bovid-180 shurely
― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:47 (three years ago) link
something something imMOOOOOn
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:48 (three years ago) link
*theme music from Cbeebies Blue Cow in a loop*
― calzino, Monday, 9 November 2020 14:51 (three years ago) link
udderly awful punning, thank you
― here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Monday, 9 November 2020 14:52 (three years ago) link
time to stop milking it now
― kinder, Monday, 9 November 2020 15:25 (three years ago) link
^^^ quota maven- "nevermore"
― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Monday, 9 November 2020 15:34 (three years ago) link
There is this tedious gobshite composer blokey bloke cunt on Pointless. He loves The Beatles.
― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 14 November 2020 18:16 (three years ago) link
That Burnistoun sketch where Rab Florence goes "sorry mate, just remembered about death for a minute there."
― Clean-up on ILX (onimo), Saturday, 21 November 2020 08:24 (three years ago) link
That’s how I felt when I woke up about an hour ago and realised I had to tear myself out of bed to work. Oh it’s fine really tbh, I’m off all next week.
― scampus fugit (gyac), Saturday, 21 November 2020 08:42 (three years ago) link
Hope you can use the time off well. I've been off this week and enjoyed not reading work emails but don't feel incredibly refreshed. I think annual leave needs more of a plan, at the moment, compared to normally.
― djh, Sunday, 22 November 2020 00:35 (three years ago) link
i think the fuckery of plan vs not plan is part of my confusion from day one
and of course i want to cuddle all of y'all like i want to cuddle myself?
djh like everybody else posting you feel like you love geo/graphy/ology?
which i get it
i dunno sorry i'nm ramblihng
hope you use the time off well
the things are out there
cuddles <3
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 00:40 (three years ago) link
There's a partyAnd everyone's thereAnd everyone will leaveAt exactly the same time
and when this kiss is overit'll start againand not be any differentand be exactly the same
it's hard to imagineTHAT I LIVE IN A COUNTRY FULL OF REACTIONARY MURDEROUS CUNTSBUT THERE IT ISFUCK YOU CENTRIST CUNTSYOU HATE LIFEYOU WANT TO CUDDDLE THE STATUS QUOBECAUSE YOU LOVE YOUR SHIT MIDDLE CLAAS PRIVILEGECUNTS
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 03:27 (three years ago) link
― scampus fugit (gyac), Sunday, 22 November 2020 13:06 (three years ago) link
Lol at least I've found out what I was doing last night
Looootta repressed anger, apparently
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:08 (three years ago) link
I do remember listening to "Heaven" on a loop for a long time
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:10 (three years ago) link
Some cuddling, too, but it comes with the territory. Hope you're feeling ok, NV.
xp
― pomenitul, Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:13 (three years ago) link
Nice to see you admit it, pom!
― scampus fugit (gyac), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:16 (three years ago) link
Hangover is surprisingly low key at the moment, thanks pom
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:16 (three years ago) link
I mean I haven't actually got out of bed yet so
Oh ffs Villa. Brighton? Ffs
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:20 (three years ago) link
can't remember which Sabbath song it is where Ozzy wails "Oh no no no" in despair but that's my life now
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:42 (three years ago) link
I assume you're thinking of this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lVdMbUx1_k
― pomenitul, Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:44 (three years ago) link
that's the one :D
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 November 2020 15:46 (three years ago) link
the sun's shining, it looks lovely outside, i don't know why i'm sleeping later and later, i don't know why i feel so bottomlessly sad
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 November 2020 12:20 (three years ago) link
this is a day when the absence of the pub is really hurting
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 November 2020 13:04 (three years ago) link
❤️ come chat shit with us later
― scampus fugit (gyac), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:00 (three years ago) link
lol i thought i already was
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:01 (three years ago) link
i apologise in advance for the mess tho
Is there a thread where you're not depressed you're just totally fucked but it doesn't matter because you've got nothing to say anyway? Is this it? Hi. I have nothing to say.
― Clean-up on ILX (onimo), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:04 (three years ago) link
this is v much it
hi omino
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:05 (three years ago) link
this is where we badly document a tawdry world with the icing picked off
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:06 (three years ago) link
hi NV
tonight I am going out to break the law and sit miles away from a couple of friends in a freezing garden because everyone feels sorry for me
I will drink and do the brave face
― Clean-up on ILX (onimo), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:11 (three years ago) link
i'm sorry shit is so messy i truly am
friends and drink and that, at least they're worth it
― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 November 2020 14:12 (three years ago) link