The Bobby Gillespie Bullshit game

sympathies with wee Boaby on this occasion

bravo

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/primal-scream-star-bobby-gillespie-23420856

Boab has called a band meeting on Zoom.

Boab (cheerily): "Afternoon, troops!"

Andrew Innes (wearily): "It's 10 o'clock at night, Boab."

Boab: "Away wi' ye! Is it? *stares myopically at the corner of his screen* Here... so it is! Ma fuckin' body cloack is aw' tae pot wi' this fuckin' lockdoon shite!"

Andrew: "That clock stopped years ago."

Martin Duffy: "He needs winding up."

Andrew: "And I'm just the boy to do it."

Boab: "Here, less o' th' lip. Wherr's the other two? *unsure* Therr is two mair o' them, int' therr?

Andrew: "Aye, we're a five piece these days."

Boab: "Aye, ah knew that, ah knew that, ah'm oan toap o' 'hings, Andra, nae fuckin' flies oan me, mate. So wherr is... eh... don't tell me... don't tell me.... Robert?"

Andrew: "He's deid, Boab."

Boab: "Aye right enough, so he is, fuckin' Covid. Anyway, disnae really matter, the other two are fuckin' English, it disnae concern them..."

Martin: "I'm English, Bobby."

Boab: "Ur ye? Who ur you again?"

Martin: "Martin Duffy? Keyboards? I've been in the band for 30 years?"

Boab: "'zat a fact? (to Andrew) Here, whit's wi' aw these English cunts in the band, Andra? It's like we're no' even a Scottish band anymair!"

Andrew: "Well, we're not, you and me are the only Scottish members of the band and we've been based in England since the 1980s."

Boab (curtly): "Beside the point, Andra, beside the point."

Andrew: "And what exactly is the point, Boab?"

Martin: "Yeah, why have you called this band meeting, Bobby?"

Boab (ignoring Martin): "Ah've decided, we're in favour o' independence."

Andrew: "Who is?"

Boab: "We ur."

Martin: "Who's we?"

Boab: "Us."

Andrew: "Independence from who?"

Boab: "The fuckin' UK."

Martin: "Who, the band?"

Boab: "Aye, the band."

Andrew: "UK?"

Boab: "Aye, UK!"

Andrew "You mean, UK, the British progressive rock supergroup originally active from 1977 until 1980, composed of singer/bassist John Wetton (formerly of King Crimson, Roxy Music, Bryan Ferry's band and Uriah Heep), keyboardist/electric violinist Eddie Jobson (formerly of Curved Air, Roxy Music and Frank Zappa's band), guitarist Allan Holdsworth (formerly of Tempest, Soft Machine, The New Tony Williams Lifetime and Gong) and drummer Bill Bruford (formerly a full member of Yes and King Crimson, and also a tour drummer for Genesis), who was later replaced by drummer Terry Bozzio (formerly of Frank Zappa's band)?"

Boab: "Here you Innes, ya cheeky article, ah mean, oor band! The fuckin' Scream!"

Martin: "Primal Scream are independent of er ... sorry you've lost me, Bobby."

Boab: "Gie me fuckin' strength. Primal Scream, the band, oor band, is in favour o' independence fae the UK."

*silence*

Boab: "... fuckin' Scottish independence fae the UK! For fuck sake!"

Andrew: "We are?"

Boab: "Aye."

Martin: "Who is?"

Boab: "Here, let's no' stert that shite again! It's a fuckin' done deal, ah'm fuckin' announcin' it oan the fuckin' twitter the morra."

Andrew: "So why call this meeting?"

Boab (patronisingly): "Because we're a fuckin' democracy in this band, Andra, no' a fuckin' dictatorship, aw' voices must be listened tae..."

Martin: "... well, in that case I'd like to..."

Boab: "... never let it be said that ah'm no' open tae hearing the views and opinions of other, lesser, members o' the band..."

Martin: "... if I could just make a..."

Boab: "... because ma international socialist / class politics background has left me wi' an unshakeable fuckin' commitment tae fuckin' democracy in a' its forms an' if ye fuckin' dare suggest otherwise ye're oot the fuckin' band, capiche?"

Martin: "Oh, I fucking give up."

Andrew: "So what about the 'people in Liverpool who have been hammered', and in Manchester and in Southampton?"

Boab: "Listen, Andra, ah've no' goat time tae worry aboot the plight o' a bunch o' fuckin' bevvy merchants in fuckin' Manchester or wherever - when ah get hammered ah take the consequences. If ye cannae haud yer drink ye shouldnae be fuckin' oot boozin' in the first place!"

Andrew: (heavy sigh) "I thought 'Nationalism has never done it for me. It leads to fascism.' Quote."

Boab (indignant): "Now, haud oan a minute, ca'in' me a Nazi, that's bang oot 'o order, mate! Just to be clear. I am not a nationalist. I come from an international socialist / class politics background....

Andrew: "... aye, you told us."

Martin: "Can I just make an interjection at this point..."

Boab (sharply): "Naw, ye fuckin' cannae! Be fuckin' grateful ye're still in the band efter whit your lot did at Culloden and don't think ah've forgoatten 1975 either! Fuckin' Gerry fuckin' Francis! Ye might ah beat us five-wan but yer team wis fuckin' shite then and it's shite noo...an' who picks fuckin' Stewart fuckin' Kennedy in fuckin' goal instead o' David Harvey??!! But we goat oor fuckin' revenge two years later, did we no'? King Kenny stickin' the ba' through fuckin' Ray Clemence's fuckin' legs! And then fuckin' wreckin' the fuckin' goalposts at Wembley efterwards! Helloooo! Get it fuckin' up ye ya fuckin' English bastards! *sings* "... And stood against him/ Proud Edward's army/ And sent him homeward *emphatically* TAE THINK AGAIN!!!!!!""

Andrew: "Right, I think the meeting is officially over."

Martin: "Yes, see you later, Andy".

Martin signs off.

Boab: "... here Andra, afore ye go. Ye'll be sure an' let Robert know aboot this meetin'? Ah'm sorry he missed it, like."

Andrew (resigned): "Aye, Boab, later".

Boab (cheerful again): "Aye, see ye, wee man!

Andrew signs off.

Boab: *distractedly singing to himself* "There was a soldier, a Scottish soldier/ who wandered far away/ and soldiered far away...."

Every few years or so, I find the letter that was written to Smash Hits regarding Bobby Gillespie, from 1990. pic.twitter.com/0gqe2x9BYf

— siân pattenden (@sian_superman) February 24, 2021

https://www.uncut.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/bobby-gillespie-cover-1392x1044.jpg

Christmas has come early!

https://www.uncut.co.uk/news/bobby-gillespie-announces-memoir-tenement-kid-129727/

So now we know what Bobby has been up to during the lockdown.

Cover needs more burning bikes/cars and appropriately gritty urban wasteland background

Unfortunately Bobby grew up in Mount Florida, which is not very gritty.

When I finally went to East Kilbride I was shocked by how unlike an urban hellscape it really was - just another bland, slightly ugly suburb.

lmao that cover. look at those mean streets!

Glaswegians (and environs) have been pushing No Mean City narratives to credulous Englanders for years.

memoirs of a super-tenement kid

he could have at least photoshopped himself into one of them classic Raymond Depardon pics

Wee Boaby, pictured here as a bairn with his Ma

https://www.history.com/.image/ar_1:1%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_1200/MTU3ODc4NjAxMzY1NzI2OTQz/migrant-mother_loc.jpg

Jim Kerr will be in hysterics when he sees Boab's book cover

Think the revised draft has now been issued

https://i.ibb.co/XDCd9nb/boabie.jpg

"His story, in his own words, up to the recording and release of Screamadelica." so, further parts to come then.

disappointed Tom D is not ghostwriting it tbh

Monorail are offering a signed edition if you're especially keen:

https://www.monorailmusic.com/album/675fa84b-80d8-11eb-9798-06d730498058/Tenement_Kid_%3Cb%3ESigned_By_Bobby_Gillespie%3C_b%3E.html?fbclid=IwAR3Nkbtz5IgOohMTN9A2qRyKdWxbgXqycB01U5kT1HwOA2GAGBBqWdvEXo8

So he lived in a tenement for 10 years*, I wonder where else he lived?

(*I could be a Tenement Kid AND a Tenement Adult in that case)

When I finally went to East Kilbride I was shocked by how unlike an urban hellscape it really was - just another bland, slightly ugly suburb.

― Ward Fowler, Wednesday, March 10, 2021 9:58 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I flew up for work purposes back in 86 or thereabouts, the area is wo lovely, rolling hills etcet. Then again, the J&MC never struck me as urbanites..

So, I'm intrigued.

Could be great, could be awfy.

Oh go on then.

I see waterstones is doing a signed edition that isn't snobvalue

in fairness to EK if it were in america it would ba city (it's about 70,000 population iirc).

EK also has one of the (many) architectural gems of south lanarkshire: st bride's catholic church

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/08/bobby-gillespie-i-am-lead-singer-i-love-myself

* When did you last cry, and why?

When Maradona died, I cried for three days.

lots of pretty ok answers in there actually

Yeah, it wasn't as car crash as you might have expected. To be honest, I was more irritated by the absence of Alys Fowler's gardening column.

all timer URL

I heard Alys Fowler's garden was ravaged by a gang of teenage wild boys. No flowers, no shrubs, just scorched earth. The most beautiful thing I've seen since last night's evening sky. The city is alive and on fire. Long may it burn.

There was a spate of wheely bin burning near where Alys Fowler lives so you're not far off there.

Here is some early evidence that despite Boaby's eloquence in bullshit, his mate Alan is the master.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XQH1JiRreg

Great video!

"they're basically uncreative fools and I despise them" HARD CUT TO Primal Scream limp Byrds pastiche

lol I thought you were kidding but the musical clips were really that

love how the tambourine man looks like he’s dressed to offer you a cut of unseasoned beef at the end of a catered buffet dinner

> When Maradona died, I cried for three days.

i read that as Madonna. it took me until the next morning to remember that madonna hasn't died.

I only watched McGee into jangling but that’s basically the direct inspiration for the Fast Show’s “Indie Club” sketch, isn’t it.

Bold stuff, having a pop at Simon Le Bon in 1987!

Guess he didn't like Notorious

In contrast, Bobby is such a meek little soul in this video.

i feel let down that tom d refers above to 'bobby' as 'bobby' because entirely due to his posting on ilx whenever i see primal scream or mr gillespie mentioned i always think 'boaby'

Bobby had yet to blossom into Boaby.

Boaby is busy signing complementary copies of "Tenement Kid" when the phone rings, it is Thurston Moore with a proposition.

Boab: Fuckin' aye?

Thurston: Bob?

Boab: Who the fuck's this?

Thurston: It's, uh, Thurston Moore?

Boab: Sorry pal, no' ringin' any fuckin' bells.

Thurston: Thurston Moore, um, from Sonic Youth... back in the day...

Boab: Thurston Moore! Big man! How's it fuckin' hangin' mate? Whit can ah do ye for?

Thurston: Um, what it is, is I've been asked to contribute to an all-star version of the first Velvet Underground album...

Boab: ... sweet, big yin, sweet .... (*quizzically*) but how come naebody asked me?

Thurston: ... uh, that, that I don't know. As I was saying, I've been asked to contribute to this album and I'd like to ask you to...

Boab: ... say no more, big yin, say no more! Nae mair waitin' fer yer man, ah UM yer fuckin' man!

Thurston: ... yeah, well, um, I'd like us to do Heroin.

Boab (soberly): Come again?

Thurston: Heroin, I'd really like us to do Heroin.

Boab (sotto voce): Here, keep it doon, mate, the wife might be listenin'.

Thurston; Um, I want to do Heroin and I really want you to do Heroin with me.

Boab: Jesus, does mah fuckin' reputation proceed me or whit? Listen, man, ah'm no really intae that scene anymair, ah'm a respectable husband, father and soon to be published author. Talkin' o' which, wid ye be interested in readin' "Tenement Kid", my vivid and evocative memoir which is fizzing with an infectious passion for the magic of rock music...

Thurston: ... well...

Boab: ... haud oan, ah'm no feenished yet... It begins in the district of Springburn, soon to be evacuated in Edward Heath's brutal slum clearances. Leaving school at 16 and going to work as a printers' apprentice, Bobby's rock n roll epiphany arrives like a bolt of lightning shining from Phil Lynott's mirrored pickguard at his first gig at the Apollo in Glasgow. Filled with 'the holy spirit of rock n roll' his destiny is sealed with the arrival of the Sex Pistols and punk rock which to Bobby, represents an iconoclastic vision of class rebellion and would ultimately lead to him becoming an artist initially in the Jesus and Mary Chain then in Primal Scream....

Thurston: ... if I may interject...

Boab: Interject away, big yin, interject away! Ah think ye'll have goat the gist o' it by noo anyway.

Thurston: About Heroin...

Boab: ... here, ah'm no' sure aboot that.

Thurston: Don't you like Heroin?

Boab (brightly): Like it? (singing) I love it ah!

*pause*

Boab: D'ye get it? (repeating) I love it ah!

Thurston: ... um...

Boab: Ah suppose "Dreadlock Holiday" might no' huv been a hit in the States. (conspiratorily) Here, ye know how ah tell fuckin' journalists and the like that ah'm like this massive roots reggae and dub fan and ah was listenin' tae fuckin' Augustus Pablo or whoever when ah wis in short troosers? It's aw fuckin' pish, man, "Dreadlock Hole-i-day" is mah favourite reggae number tae this fuckin' day. Pure fuckin' class so it is!

Thurston: Uh, yeah, if we could get back to the album and the track I was discussing. Here's what I'll do, I'll record the backing track...

Boab (suddenly serious, nodding vigorously): ... mmm-hmm mmm-hmm...

Thurston: ... and I'll send it off to you...

Boab: ... mmm-hmm mmm-hmm...

Thurston: ... and you can add your vocals and...

Boab: ... Boab's yer uncle! Here, ah'm oan fuckin' fire the day! Though ah say so masel!

Thurston: Yeah, so, um, I'll be in touch about that.

Boab: Here's this is a fuckin' good line this!

Thurston: What?

Boab: Ah mean, it's a good line fae the States, clear as a fuckin' bell!

Thurston: Um, I'm in London, I mean I live in London.

Boab: Nae fuckin' way, ya cunt!

Thurston: Um, yes, I live in Stoke Newington.

Boab: Stokey? Get tae fuck! And how does Kim like it?

Thurston: Pardon me?

Boab: How does Kim like livin' in Stokey?

Thurston: Um, I, I really wouldn't know, listen I gotta...

Boab: Here we should meet up some time, wance this pandemic shite is oot the wey.

Thurston: Yeah, maybe...

Boab: Maybe a fuckin' foursome, you and Kim and me and the missus, ah hear the Rose & Crown does a fuckin' great Sunday roast..

Thurston: No, I, I don't see that happening.

Boab: How no'?

Thurston: I don't think you will be meeting with me and, um, Kim.

Boab: Well, jist the two o' us then, a proper lads night oot, a few swallies, the Shakespeare, Rose & Crown, Ryan's, end up in The Auld Shillelagh then a fuckin' doner.

Thurston: Well, maybe.

Boab: Here, huv you goat a wee burd oan the go that ye don't wahnt Kim tae find oot aboot, is that it?

Thurston: Now listen, I really have to go....

Boab; Nae bother, big yin, mum's the fuckin' word! Ah'm nae clipe!

Thurston: Yeah, OK, I'll be in touch.

Boab: No' if ah see you first! Naw, that disnae really work... ah said that disnae really work... oh, he's gone.

*turns to shout to wife*

Boab: Here, doll, ye'll never guess who that fuckin' wis!

A+

brilliant

great boab

Lol

extra marks for a respectable Newington Green/Stokey pub crawl itinerary.

would buy an NFT of this.

from the ever-entertaining Norman Records weekly email: "Altered Images roadie Bobby Gillespie has an autobiography out."

I saw too that Boab and his old mate Irvine Welsh were "in conversation" in this week's Observer, but I didn't have the heart to tackle it.

I'm assuming Norman Records have some old Glasgow scene guy working for them

it still rankles that Bobby made it big, as it rankles with us all