New Yorker magazine alert thread

kevin k, are you saying it would be unusual for someone to get off on the thought of sexual gratification in "public"? Like, that's a pretty common porn trope.

smh man lol

He might have liked the transgressive quality of knowing he was technically on a zoom call. But i find it implausible that he actually wanted to get caught.

You can not want to get caught and also get off on the possibility of being caught.

Right. But does the latter put him in louis ck territory? That is the moral quandry that faces us tonight.

Like, the most likely scenario to me is he was wacking it and had a "technical difficulty", lol.

xp

That is the moral quandry that faces us tonight.

As an attorney, I'm less about assigning moral blame to him than never wanting to listen to his legal analysis again because he is a stone cold moron.

all he wanted to do was zoom a zoom zoom and a poom poom

I honestly never paid much attention to him. I hate reading about law outside of work and he wasn’t even one of the analysts I thought was especially sharp. Someone gave me a copy of “The Nine” in law school and I found it very boring.

IN A poom poom

pon de boner

my typo with the poom poom

You know, accident or not, someone who a) uses a 10-minute break to have cybersex b) in spite of the fact that cybersex and election Zooms both require the camera and c) not making extra extra extra sure you’re not beating it in front of all your editors and WNYC all proves that you think the rules don’t apply to you. And when you’re seconds away from blowing rope in front of David Remnick it’s evident that you’ve either forgotten the basic tenets of HR or you actively get off on flaunting them.

That actually reminds me of a "Dept. of corrections" (or something) item at the bottom of a column in the New Yorker some years back.

From the San Jose Mercury News.

An item in the July 12 News of the World column about police confronting beachgoers incorrectly reported what the beachgoers were doing. They were not flouting their breasts, they were flaunting them.

So fucking glad I've never shared a workplace with man alive

cool

going on record, if trump brings this up tonight i'm voting for him.

The stolen valor piece is a good example of why I'll always subscribe to this magazine.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/10/26/how-to-spot-a-military-impostor

It would take a lot of their staff jerking off on camera to make me stop subscribing, though I don't think I've been able to read a single issue since Covid.

I only buy it for the articles.

My father always had a stack of New Yorkers and New Republics on the back of the toilet.

Among my earliest memories have to do with leafing through them to see the cartoons, not always understanding them but absorbing the visual style and the general vibe.

Some weeks I read every page, even the poems. Some weeks I just look at the cartoons. I can't imagine not having it.

Oh def, same. I read the New Yorker before I read the New Yorker. I liked the look and feel of it and flipping through it.

For some reason I always read backwards (starting at the back). The caption contest has made this more fun.

Why haven't any of the people in that chat room come forward in any way beyond, like, Foster Kamer’s DMs

to what end?
(don't say the head)

johnny ryan's first cover (NSFW)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CGq9O0_hihi/

used to work in a bookstore with him

he was, if you can believe it, a prick

quelle surprise! he's kind of a dick in "Feels Good Man"
however all is forgiven for his work on this year's HBO Looney Tunes remake

Just starting a Zoom trivia contest with 10 other people (in lieu of the real one we attend every year). I had to ask: "Is Jeffrey Toobin part of this?"

toobin out

wasn't that the problem in the first place?

Probably the only possible thing to do with an employee who jerked it on a work zoom.

I’m not allowed to move any accumulated New Yorkers to our new house, oh well.

wtf, what are you supposed to do with those, recycle them or something?

I was hoping I can trade them in for one much larger New Yorker

You could make him write "I will not jerk it on work zoom" 100 times on a blackboard like Bart.

Then fire him, but make him do the blackboard first.

Ditch the New Yorker, subscribe to the New Worker

still don't understand the logistics of this -- never had a zoom call where anyone's camera was on their crotch

Have you considered that Toobin’s penis might be freakishly long?

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/15/style/jeffrey-toobin-zoom.html

I think it’s perfectly understandable to fire someone for (in essence) masturbating in view of their colleagues and leave it at that. Being fired from the workplaces where the incident didn’t occur is more eyebrow-raising but also only comes up for rich famous people. Ongoing interest is mostly driven by it still being funny that a famous guy in late middle age had his dick out on a work zoom.

yes

plus that his name sounds like what he was doing

NYer URLs should all contain (or not) a /print/ section so you know whether to burn a click or wait a week or two

https://www.magazines.com/the-new-yorker-magazine.html
$2 an issue is very reasonable imo

For as many people were excoriating Mr. Toobin for lewd and inappropriate behavior in a virtual workplace, others were thinking, or even saying, “there but for the grace of God go I,” acutely conscious of all the private or potentially embarrassing moments they’d stolen in this odd new zone where we now meet our colleagues.

Don’t think God’s intervention is required to not masturbate while on a work video call tbh.

Gladwell's response to this was really fucking primo material

$2 an issue is very reasonable imo

yes but if you already have a print subscription it's annoying to skip a click on the erroneous assumption it will be on paper soon, or to burn one of five clicks on something that turns out to be literally a) two sentences long and b) in the print version one day later

if you have a print subscription you can read stuff online for free

yeah, print = unlimited digital access to current and old issues