no boys allowed in the room!!!!

And the issues of "hate speech" and policing language do play a role -- because they affect the language habits of people, but the emotional/logic parts remain the same, but the expression of the misogyny will shift.

Ah, my mistake - apologies for the misread. Thanks for explaining further, that makes more sense.

I just ordered this unusual menstrual cup to try - it’s disposable and it sits higher up than a normal cup. I’ve never bothered trying a cup before but the selling point on this one is that you can have sex while wearing it. I got a referral code that gets you $5 off if anyone else wants to try it:

https://www.talkable.com/x/P8H02X

I keep getting these ads for a product called Lume Deoderant and they are kinda icky idk, do y'all know what I'm talking about?

Is that the one that has a weird musical commercial, because if so, yes. After watching that commercial, I decided I would never purchase it.

yes, I didn't listen to the sound of it, but that's what it appeared to be.

I can think of a handful of professions where the "problems" it is claiming to solve would be useful, but like ... working in an office? At an exercise class? ... it makes me think of those artificially scented kitchen garbage bags.

it also reminds me of those poopouri ads which made me irrationally angry

like ... this is why there are HVAC systems in bathrooms!!!!!

yes very weird ad. also the woman does a fake....french? accent

Putting on deodorant on your genitals before sex seems, I don’t know, silly? A bad idea? Just wash if you’re that concerned.

haha i didn't bother to look up what this was, i thought it was armpit deodorant

harbl, that is because you are a sensible intelligent person!

i accidentally bought scented tampons once & i imagine this deodorant smells like that (i didnt use them, they were weird af)

the last thing a vag needs is artificial fragrance in the mix. so stupid.

it also reminds me of those poopouri ads which made me irrationally angry

― sarahell, Wednesday, January 27, 2021 8:09 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

That stuff is great actually but not for institutional/office bathrooms, we keep it around at home for when a lot of adults are using one bathroom and no one leaves the house anymore.

the last thing a vag needs is artificial fragrance in the mix. so stupid.

― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, January 28, 2021 10:44 AM (twenty-three minutes ago)

yeah ... also I would feel very unsexy with something like that. Like I don't know a dude that's turned on by the smell of febreze ... it strikes me as a real boner-killer of an odor

not to be heterosexist ... I don't know any women that are turned on by the smell of febreze either. I certainly am not.

i am so anti-fragrance. i tried to use a dry shampoo for the first time and was so irritated by the smell i had to wash my hair anyway. to think people are fragrancing their hoo-hahs, well.................

i am mostly anti-fragrance. I like some scented soaps but not super heavy. I like stuff that smells like mint or cucumber. My hair cleaning product smell problem is always coconut. Almost everything made for my type of hair smells like coconut. I found an ok conditioner that smells like hibiscus-kinda idk but not coconut, which is good! But it isn't as good as the ones that smell like coconut. However it's winter and covid and half the time I am sitting at home wearing a knit hat so I can have less than ideally conditioned hair plus not smell like coconut.

also, when you are trying to stay mostly on the wagon, having hair that smells like a Tiki cocktail does not help.

I especially hate how the branding is very now-ish, very Instagram aesthetics, and yet it's for something SO BACKWARDS that we laugh about it in ads from the 1950s. I expect my super modern product advertising to have less retrograde politics.

oh yeah i like good-smelling soap and conditioner and stuff just not like, aggressive smells

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/files/2013/09/Screenshot_34-500x534.png

hahahah yes!!! In the 80s too! Summer's Eve for that "not so fresh feeling"!

also just on a basic level, scented stuff for your vag is the quickest way to thrush or at least some kind of irritation

nobody wants that!

idk why these products persist in existing

I thought that lume stuff was for, like, for swampy summer butt crack - not vag?? I keep seeing their ads in YT and that’s the impression I got

i think it's for both?

It’s also for feet!

I really thought it was more widely known these days that you don’t put anything up yr vag to “deodorize” it unless you actually WANT problems in that area

I’m willing to bet that if you picked 1000 random men and a 1000 random women and scientifically performed an odor test, dicks would be the clear winner of the bad-smell award. But no one is marketing dick deodorant to men.

...yet :)

lol

https://www.hunt4freebies.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Old-Spice-Below-Deck-Powder-Spray-and-Anti-Chafe-Stick.png

hahahah the idea of someone rubbing a stick deodorant on dick and balls is just ... an odd picture to me? like, does it have instructions about whether hard or flaccid is better for application? ... it's like, there are some products meant to solve embarrassing problems that just create additional embarrassing problems

Lol I semi-retract my statement - that spray is basically the same thing as Gold Bond spray, and it’s just a pubes spray. It’s not doing anything about the actual dick problem.

I’m assuming the anti chafe stick is for the tops of men’s inner thighs where their balls rub???

what can be done about the actual dick problem, really?

Washing it properly!!!! Thankfully this is not an issue I’ve had to deal for 12 yrs but prior to that I def encountered dick that was not being washed properly.

ha it was partly a rhetorical question but yes, there are men who regularly embody "fuck washing a dick"

ugh this convo is making me feel gross

sorry ... sorry ... sorry!

fuck washing a dick

make your fuckwash known hahahaha sorrrrrrrrrrry

RE those Flex period discs I mentioned: I finally tried them this week (after 5 yrs with an iud my period has finally started waning) and I like them. I’d prefer a non disposable version since they’re expensive and a pain to dispose of. But getting one in is easier than I expected, although I find it hard to believe that it doesn’t get in the way during sex (haven’t tested that yet). The disc comes out nice and easy but def not suitable for people who aren’t comfortable using applicator-free tampons as it’s a little messy.

here's a question for y'all -- friends w/teenage daughters -- when they post pics of their kids on social media, do you notice that if the kid is female, most of the comments are like "how beautiful!" and praise her physical appearance, whereas if the kid is male, the comments are less about that? Does that make you feel icky? How would you respond?

Absolutely and I've noticed this at lots of ages. It really pushes my buttons but at the same time can appreciate kids look cute or it's a "nice" "positive" thing to say about a teen. If I'm moved to comment at all I'll generally try and say something less looks-focused... but it can be hard as a photo is basically demanding you pay attention to what's in the photo!

yeah ... it was a friend's daughter's 17th birthday, and I had talked to said friend the day before, and the daughter was struggling with an eating disorder ... so, I didn't comment about her looks at all. I recalled a memory of something my friend told me her daughter did that was super awesome.

I have a 13yo stepkid and I’m more bothered that she and her friends type those comments to each other tbh like

“omg bae”
“why are you so prettyyyy *crying emoji*”
“hottie”

On one hand, her generation is prob more aware than ever about issues surrounding body positivity and self-image, on the other, there’s just so much pressure on them to look or present themselves a certain way. She’s a fun kid with lots of cool interests and I know she’ll prob grow out of it but it still drives me nuts that that’s how they’re expected to interact with each other online.

I would not have survived growing up in the age of Instagram, that’s for sure.

reading the 40s thread -- it kinda seems like most of the people who feel like they get "worse" in their 40s are cis-men, whereas non cis-men feel better in their 40s comparatively? Or have I been reading too much empowering clickbait for middle aged women?

Hiiiiii! I don't want to be insensitive to ppl in that thread but my 40s have been good and my friends and colleagues are mostly all well? Also it took me until my late 30s to have a job that did more than barely pay the bills, and it was extremely pleasant to not be overdrawn or need to know how many individual dollars were in my account at all times. I'm unemployed again so I guess who knows what will happen but it was nice to feel that a good life was within reach.

I'm happy with myself in my 40s.

I'm happy with myself in my 40s.

I have definitely had to deal with a lot of heavy shit in my 40s, but I feel like I am more resilient and happier and have a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence that I can better deal with the heavy shit? Like the lyric in "First We Take Manhattan" -- "I've practiced every night, and now I'm ready ..."?

I have aged out of the 40s thread, so, uh, in what way?

Health, money, confidence, social, what?

I would venture to ask - are the 40s the point in heterosexual cismens’ lives where they realise they are not actually going to be the patriarchs in patriarchy? (Cause it seems like middle age is when cis white men start looking for someone to blame for that.)

While for non-cis-men, the 40s are where the hyperscrutiny drops off and the invisibility kicks in, which almost feels like a relief?

OK this is getting too cynical, even for me. I’m having a bad reaction to the covid vaccine I had yesterday so I’m feeling pretty flattened and less willing to entertain more positive possibilities than usual?