OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

was that written by billy eilish?

Entirely correct though.

From Scaruffi

(I capitalized all the song titles because Autechre's lower-case habit is misleading. It may lead to confuse the music with the design: the lower-case titles are part of the design, and the design has indeed remained high-class; but that doesn't translate into an appreciation of the music, although one could claim that the "content" includes both the design and the music).

Yes, I understand things better now that the titles are capitalized!

May 5, 2011
By Pat Prince

Phil 'Fang' Volk, known as the spirited bass player for Paul Revere & The Raiders, has independently released a cover of Bob Dylan's enormously popular hit "The Times They Are a-Changin'" as a single.

The rendition is electric and hard-driving (what else would you expect from a rock 'n' roll bassist?) as the times we now live in. Volk adds a bit of 2011 to a timeless classic. Nothing can beat the Dylan original, but this energetic take adds to a message with a raw John Mellencamp-ish flair.

With this release, Volk wanted to make a statement about, what he calls, a "planet in transition."

As notes to the single, Volk writes "A SONG FOR A WORLD IN TURMOIL. Never before has humanity teetered with such instability, facing a future with incredible fear & uncertainty." Volk sees this as a "battle cry" for all those who stand ready to see things change for the better. Coincidentally, Volk released the CD on May 1, the same day that Osama Bin Laden, a proponent of such fear, was declared dead.

https://medium.com/@joshuacopperman1/what-your-favorite-album-of-2020-says-about-you-930285dad454

Oranssi Pazuzu: you have prepared yourself for the rise of the Master and shall welcome him with open arms

https://beatsperminute.com/album-review-playboi-carti-whole-lotta-red/

that Carti review in interminable while providing little actual content

There are valid arguments to be made for Autotune. They are not found here: https://popternative.com/music/getting-rid-of-the-stigma-that-surrounds-autotune/

Aside from the utter confusion about music history, every argument in that article goes exactly against the thesis statement.

Yeah, it's so incoherent I'm almost not sure how to even start arguing against it.

The moments of this have probably gone by, but this is nevertheless the stupidest review I've seen in years.

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/st-vincent-daddys-home/

It presents the point of the whole fucking album as arguing for childlessness or something. Peyton Thomas gives this argument 6.7.

It’s odd, for example, that two songs on the album refer to calling “the cops,” or 911, in light of the past year’s uprisings against police brutality.

Docked points for snitching

Calling 911 because you have a medical emergency makes you a Karen

[Verse 1]
9-1-1 (9-1-1, what's your emergency?)
I'm in love (I see, so how can I help you?)

Wow, do better, St. Vincent

Fwiw, here’s the other lyric being referenced:

Hello
Do you know where you are?
You've been out cold
We almost called the cops
Don't get up
Can you count to ten?
Oh, boy, you're so lucky we found you when we did

scandalous

The writer’s oeuvre is full of bangers:

The audible crosswalk signals Jordan samples were developed to make life easier for visually impaired pedestrians. But they benefit everyone, adding clarity, joy, and a little music to busy urban journeys. (Recently, while I was waiting at an intersection, a mechanical voice pronounced “Wait”; I turned to my boyfriend and sang, “They don’t love you like I love you.”)

I like that

It kind of strikes me as the NPR/podcast voice turned to music criticism

I thought his Zooropa piece was good (even if not quite my bag).

Not going to link to The Federalist for obvious reasons, but the 22 year-old daughter of Rachel from The Real World: San Fransisco and Sean from The Real World: Boston wrote an unresearched, openly racist hit piece about country artist Mickey Guyton. Among her claims is that corporate country radio is "shoving Guyton down listeners throats"... despite the fact that Guyton's had exactly one top 40 hit at country radio, back in 2015.

Not the worst piece of music writing ever I guess, but should the Guardian really be publishing these wide-eyed fanzine-level scribblings?

if you say "not the worst" and also don't add a link, don't expect me to go to the Guardian to sniff around to find out wtf you're talking about

lol I forgot the important bit, this is what the fuck I'm talking about

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/jul/24/latitude-festival-2021-40000-party-people-good-vibes-and-not-a-mask-in-sight

This doesn't even really count as "music writing" or even "writing," (may even be algorithm generated) but I had to put it somewhere
https://www.tvguidetime.com/singer/billy-strings-height-age-who-girlfriend-biography-wiki-net-worth-18716.html

Billy String is a well known artist and musician from Michigan. The white person is one of the best nation vocalists in the United States in the present date. In 2017, Rolling Stone highlighted Billy Strings in the rundown of the ‘Main 10 Country Singers’.

Brought up in a modest community in Michigan, Billy was profoundly impacted by down home music. He picked his first guitar while he was only 4 years of age.

Discover some intriguing realities about the nation performer, Billy Strings here.

Billy Strings is a famous nation performer, vocalist, and lyricist from the United States. He is a tremendous aficionado of blue grass music and grew up tuning in to jazz tunes. In addition, Billy is likewise a guitarist.

Billy received music as his full-time calling subsequent to dropping out of secondary school. He moved to Traverse City during his high school years, where he found a guide in veteran performer Don Julin.

Billy delivered his introduction LP named Turmoil and Tinfoil on September 22, 2016.

Name Billy Strings
Birthday October 3
Age 27 years old
Gender Male
Height 5 feet & 9 inch
Weight 62 kg
Nationality American
Ethnicity White
Profession Singer/ Songwriter
Net Worth $4 million
Married/Single Single
Instagram billystrings
Twitter @bstrings1
Youtube Billy Strings
Born in the year 1992, Strings praises his birthday on the third of October. He is at present 27 years of age. His sun sign is Libra.

Billy Strings was born in Michigan, the United States, so he is an American national. His ethnicity is white.

Billy was raised by his mom and step-father. His natural dad wasn’t close to him since he was a kid. Billy adores his stepfather Terry Barber. Terry is a beginner country picker.

The white person stands 5 feet and 9 inches tall. Additionally, he weighs 62 kg. His hair shading is earthy colored and has dim hued eyes.

Billy Strings is a school drop out. His genuine name is William Apostol.

As an expert vocalist for a couple of years at this point, Billy may have aggregated better than average total assets. Shockingly, the insights regarding his profit and total assets are not distributed.

You can follow Billy Strings on Instagram and Twitter.

That sounds (poorly) translated from another language

computer-translated probably, “nation” for “country” and “beginner” for “amateur” are giveaways

computer suspiciously interested in ethnicity, but that's how they're all programmed amirite

The algorithm missed that his BMI works out as impressive 20.2 .

I mean: https://www.theverge.com/2016/3/24/11297050/tay-microsoft-chatbot-racist

xp

Billy Strings beginner with dick. Billy String big house Traverse City nation.

Tired of writers, all writers, using the term "banger."

Also, "slaps," "slays," "bop."

Tired of writers, all writers, using the term "banger."

Hear hear. They should just use "sausage."

all these words are entirely fine, plz don't let this never-exactly-great thread decline into the always awful "words and phrases" thread

I'd be cool with reviews using "sausage."

you want people to write reviews with their penis?

he said sausage, not sauseeg.

My sausage slaps!

mine's a banger

bangers 'n' smash

Sausage Slaps is a great name for a band.

Don’t know where to put this, but it’s amusing to me that this article refers to Megan Thee Stallion as “Stallion” on second reference.

lol that is very funny.

"Mr Vert"

Film not music but please enjoy this sentence with me

"Despite the film’s compact running time of just more than 80 minutes, some of these scenes drag out and never quite arrive at a level of depth and originality a filmmaker like Miranda July, whose distinct style the film brings to mind, possesses with her one-of-a-kind voice."

https://variety.com/2021/film/reviews/how-it-ends-review-1234896131/

OOf, that's bad.

that distinctive style is possessing a compact running time

something about the combination of arguments, bullshit postulates and crap writing makes this one special
https://www.slantmagazine.com/music/the-pixies-trompe-le-monde-retrospective-review/