L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

I would kill to live somewhere with both a bunker and a giant train set. Don't care about the rest of it, just those two things = I'm in love.

In the video for that house, the agents gave the address as 2225 Arrrrrrrrlington.

I took another deep dive into insane real estate photos and there was over 50 notable ones I linked in a discord but here are my top four pic.twitter.com/LHTikQGOaq

— Kerma (@kerma4kHD) October 20, 2020

have we had that last one before

the first one looks like it belongs in a crappy first person shooter game

it made me laugh too loud at work

i think it's the ikea lamps that cracked me

the cursed angel loft is a deep-focus cornucopia of nightmares

the rock

the semigloss red walls and ceiling

the angel one's couch placement is something

It’s so when you get up from it they can drop the tv on you and call it an accident

i didn't even see the tv! wtf these always have so many layers

is that the cable for the TV snaking across the room, not in anyway a hazard to walking

or maybe it's just hanging down

kudos regardless

Framed portrait of Gordon Jump in the red room killed me.

the little things that get me about angel pink-floyd-album-cover are:

the little vacuum hose coil poking out of the tiniest under-stairway storage nook imaginable
the pillar outside the window
this house is apparently built on unoccupied moorland by the sea?
the statue above the staircase
the cord hanging down from the tv
the brown embroidered bed pillow square on the wall in the background, far-right

https://consequenceofsound.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Big-Star-Radio-City1.jpg

Stairwell toilets pic.twitter.com/MyB2HzClIi

— Kerma (@kerma4kHD) October 21, 2020

The last of those reminds me of when we were first house hunting in London. We rang a doorbell a few times for a viewing with no answer and were just about to leave when we heard a flushing noise and a wee old man appeared at the door. He then made the mistake of showing off his poorly ventilated Harry-Potter-Cupboard-Loo-Conversion first. The stench would have floored a horse.

https://i.imgur.com/B0H5qiW.jpg

CONS

1. Those stairs.

2. Window going into ceiling.

3. No symmetry.

4. Each window opens in a different direction?

PROS

1. If you look at it long enough, you can trick your brain into thinking it sees a large-screen television showing a home show.

Alexa, what does Non-Euclidean Geometry look like?

https://64.media.tumblr.com/81235dfb009caf05d1a0671338b45fc2/815bc6cf9760bd9a-20/s1280x1920/e66dd0592755bbd0034635c3568c918bf4daf40e.jpg

The vertical hold is off in the bathroom again.

https://i.imgur.com/K40rSjL.jpg

what is that catwalk? not to code

My guess is the water heater.

People, can we refrain from posting pictures of the Winchester House ITT?

I kinda like that first picture, apart from how the doorway opens onto the stairs, which is an accident waiting to happen.

Don't rightly know how anyone could ever get disoriented and lose their balance at that spot.

Found this master suite in an otherwise normal house and I gotta say, this is my kind of nightmare pic.twitter.com/1E2HAOflCW

— shadowfax 🐴 (@whyangelinawhy) November 15, 2020

Holy hell

seksy

The giant watch and the masked photographer

Computer, ENHANCE: (6ft tall watch on the back wall serving as a clock) pic.twitter.com/F9V8kku4N1

— POST OFFICE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU FUCK IT (@LumpySpaceBoat) November 16, 2020

Didn't Swatch used to make those?

Still do, in fact:

https://www.watchpapst.de/en/swatch/maxi-wall-clock.html

ayyyy
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1-Rivers-Edge-Dr-Colts-Neck-NJ-07722/39230937_zpid/?

you can tell they're jewish because of the hall of pictures.

not gonna lie, i fucking love that

It was a bad moment for humanity when real estate photographers discovered HDR

lol I was about to dub that house "The Jew's Nightmare"

I won’t say there are no wealthy Jews with bad taste but I think even wealthy Jews with bad taste aren’t huge on Christmas

the house version of the disgustingly HDR burger

it's perpetually startling when Xians prove their love of Jesus by displaying models of dead Jesus, who reputedly said 'do not worship images of me, especially when i'm rendered in extremis out of concrete'

aka how to tell the difference between Catholics and Protestants.

I love it when a generic link like that gets posted because I know I'm about to go "Nice enough house. Kinda generic. Lot of work put into the driveway. Wonder why Spottie –– *needle scratch* –– Oh."

https://i.imgur.com/TBy8ehC.png

"Did you remember to photoshop the bird into the screen? No? Oh God, no one's going to notice the rest of the room because they're going to be looking at that dark television monitor!"

yah the bird on the screen lol. the bathroom with the rocky sink / toilet base was particularly egregious.

i actually checked this house out when it was for sale a couple years back:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/7741-W-John-Cabot-Rd-Glendale-AZ-85308/8098314_zpid/?

previous owner seen here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33izVlIOgnQ

OH Man! I see what you're talking about. What were they thinking?

https://i.imgur.com/nNsZjTL.png

Wait, why's forks posting that?

Ha, that HDR bullshit makes me feel like I’m having a migraine, but somehow is in perfect sympatico with the heavily-larded, mo-money-mo-decor aesthetic of these places.

pplains did you see the rest of the pictures in that zillow link i posted?