Barfly Best Practices

Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.

Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over

If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times

how is that not a dick move

If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.

half empty? we only drink half?

Drinking half is a dick move

Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision

You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy

When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content

strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

Don’t creep or hit on the staff

If you’re sitting outside and it’s windy and seats at the place are at a premium and you’re not finished with your round and you have a glass of water and a clean napkin at hand and you need to vacate your spot temporarily, dip a corner of the napkin into the water and drape it over the round, wet edge touching rim and facing the prevailing direction of the wind. This will decrease the chances your napkin will blow away while you’re elsewhere, thereby decreasing the chances a customer looking for a seat will assume yours is available vis a vis the “abandoned” round.

If you need to limit yourself, order the last round, provide your card, and ask the server to close you out

Most graceful way to close out?
My vote goes to asking for a glass of water or club when you do so to savor the moment a bit longer

Some bartenders will sooner give you a buyback if you pay with a card rather than cash; you will have to determine this via experience

Always have more cash on hand than necessary

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

Fair

as a server for the time being, i completely agree -- just tell me how much you want back and i will bring it. don't make me do math!!

then again, if i am the most sober person (usually) and you cannot be trusted to do math bc u been drinking, i will do it

A safe assumption

Stack your cash tips in single file if the service doesn’t pick up after each round. A mess of singles could give the wrong impression.

Each time you visit a regular spot, alternate between paying cash and with a card. Eventually you will be able to earn a free drink — either via the bartender assuming you’re paying with a card, or via plausible deniability that you forgot which payment method you’re using.

If a bartender in a plausible but uncommon spot recognizes you (“how’ve you been?”) but you don’t recognize them, confess the truth

Casual mention of other bartenders at the same place may get you you buybacks earlier

If you’re looking for a buyback, delay payment on your deserving round (4th is best). Have the bartender serve you and if necessary, feign to fumble about for your wallet. This pause allows your server the appropriate time to reflect

On a hot day, the glass holding your cold beverage may be subject to condensation. Don’t forsake a coaster or a napkin in this scenario. You want that water soaked up during drink downtime — so that it doesn’t drip on your shirt so much when you sip

The other option is to drink your cold beverage so quickly that it doesn't have time to attract condensation, or to warm up.

If you’re already sitting down and halfway through, a discreet wipe of the bottom of your glass on your pants before sipping is acceptable

Finish right on time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPcN9qbLZ0

At the cheapest bar around, order bottles or cans. Sometimes glasses get the short shrift.

Tip 5 at dives

This is obvious but if there’s big tip you want to give to a specific bartender give it to them by hand in cash “you’ve been served”

When you want a canned or bottled beer with a glass on the side, don’t order by saying “(Beer X)and a glass.” This can be misheard (“and” for “in”) and misinterpreted as a request for the draft version of Beer X, which is likely several sovereigns more. Better to preface with “bottle or can of,” and when it arrives, ask the bartender for a glass.