Joe Biden, Senator from Citibank (oops, DELAWARE), to Run for President

Pac did say "hollah if ya hear me"

i was going to hold my nose and vote for biden, but now, with this 2pac development, i might have to sit this one out

keep your head up

but..2pac is dead

and she didn't know

maybe she's just now catching up with his game-changing 2012 coachella performance

Once a long time ago I was sitting outside a metro stop and some guy with a microphone and a field recorder came up to me and asked me if I wanted to be on the radio. I said sure because I had nothing better to do (I was waiting on a ride to come pick me up, I think) and he began asking me rapid-fire questions that were obviously designed to elicit stupid responses, presumably for some morning zoo shit. I didn’t fall for it and he moved on to go find some other poor sap.

I imagine running for any reasonably high office in the land is like having that experience pretty much every other day or more.

During the week when the wildfires in Oregon were at their hellish worst I watched several live broadcasts of the governor giving daily press conferences, which were intelligent and informative, after which news reporters asked her many remarkably stupid questions.

Tupac lives on in our hearts

And in holographic form

i was going to hold my nose and vote for biden, but now, with this 2pac development, i might have to sit this one out

― Karl Malone, Saturday, September 26, 2020 10:21 AM (fifty-six minutes ago)

finally someone with the courage to speak out on this!

we could comment on the irony of Kamala's choice of rappers being a former prison inmate in the context of her problematic role in the racist carceral state, but we really should emphasize the fact she chose someone who is not alive as an indication of her overall dishonesty and low character?

n.b. i did think it was funny but ... just nbd

It's sad to see Democrats in disarray over the age-old East Coast/West Coast divide.

but we really should emphasize the fact she chose someone who is not alive as an indication of her overall dishonesty and low character?

Is anyone suggesting this?

Like Hillary's hot sauce it's just poorly staged folksiness - as cringeworthy as any relatable brand on Twitter. If asked, you don't have to pretend that you were cool an smoked weed in college while listening to Snoop ten years before he released a single.

(Though that one was worse, given her career-long record of ruining peoples' lives for weed.)

I was being sarcastic, but you are kinda proving my point?

https://media1.giphy.com/media/JTzPN5kkobFv7X0zPJ/giphy.gif

is never actually required

Oh, I agree! Like, I definitely cringe when I read/see stuff like that. It almost makes me want to be a campaign manager or PR person to help otherwise decent candidates avoid it, but ... that is too much professional masochism even for me.

I think I would also vote for Steve Buscemi

i still laugh at 'MUSIC BAND'

Same, heh. The lightning bolt really clinches it.

_but we really should emphasize the fact she chose someone who is not alive as an indication of her overall dishonesty and low character?_


Is anyone suggesting this?

Like Hillary's hot sauce it's just poorly staged folksiness - as cringeworthy as any relatable brand on Twitter. If asked, you don't have to pretend that you were cool an smoked weed in college while listening to Snoop ten years before he released a single.

yeah she's been talking about hot sauce since she had a southern accent

If you have any kind of character bit as a professional politician it automatically becomes fake. like if I ran for office and blurted out something about loving Detroit techno half the electorate would immediately assume I was just making shit up and had never actually listened to Carl Craig in my life. Then somebody would find my ILX posts and I would have to suspend my campaign under a dark cloud of complete and utter shame

yeah, why did you change your name from Tombot to El Tomboto, anyway?

change from @mac.com to @gmail.com iirc

Beto Tomboto

carlos danger's cousin, señor tomboto

Like Hillary's hot sauce it's just poorly staged folksiness

she was asked the question!

Only God can judge Kamala

xp - and if you haven't listened to a new album since 1995 you can say that! Like in exactly those words.

domo arigato beto tomboto

she was asked the question!

yes, and it's worth noting how many white male US senators are asked about their favorite rapper.

Mitt Romney loves 'sport'

I'm not looking to punish anyone, but it's about time the super-wealthy and corporate America start paying their fair share.

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) September 28, 2020

PUNISH THEM

FRIENDSHIP

this is shtick with this guy right now right

why in the fuck wouldn't you want to punish someone who isn't playing fair

I was going to vote for you but not anymore. I've been working for the same corporation for 18 years and I absolutely love my company. We provide an essential service all around the world and if this is how we are going to be thanked for our hard work, then no thanks.

— Joe Pack Joe (@JKFlorida) September 28, 2020

Someone whose brain is melting out of his ears even more rapidly than Trump or Biden.

I don't want to punish anyone white people

noooooo don't go joe pack joe come back i love corporations

lol hadrian

come on joe biden, you know you have to be more apologetic to joe pack joe when you thank him for hard work

but if that is how joe biden is going to thank him, joe pack joe says "no thanks"

by the way joe biden, i have written up this list of 17 questions and posted them on the website of the dumbest man in the united states. these are the 17 questions you MUST answer during tonight's debate.

1 Your son Hunter Biden received a $3.5 million wire transfer from a Russian billionaire who was married to the former mayor of Moscow. He also had a joint bank account with a Chinese national that financed $100,000 in credit card purchases around the world. This all happened while you were Vice President. Why would people connected to the Russian and Chinese governments want to give your son millions of dollars?

2 You recently said you “got started” at Delaware State University, an HBCU. The school says they have no record of you ever attending. What did you major in there?

3 In June you said you were vetting your own potential Supreme Court picks and promised you would release your own list. Now you say you won’t release a list. Why go back on your pledge?

4 Your running mate Kamala Harris said last year that she was open to adding as many as 4 seats to the Supreme Court. Now more leading Democrats are saying your party should pack the Supreme Court if they get the chance. Are you refusing to answer whether you will go along with this radical plan because you are too weak to stand up to it?

5 In January 2017, you said that Democrats should not block President Trump’s nominees for the Supreme Court. You said you believe the Constitution “requires” the Senate “to give the nominee a hearing and a vote.” In 2016 you said “would go forward with the confirmation process” of a Supreme Court nominee “even a few months before a presidential election … just as the Constitution requires." Now you say the Constitution requires the exact opposite. How do you reconcile that change?

6 In 2008 you promised Americans that if they made less than $250,000 they would not pay a penny more in taxes. You broke that promise and imposed new taxes that directly impacted middle-class Americans. Now you’re claiming you won’t raise taxes on anyone making more than 400,000. Why should voters believe you now, especially since you’ve said you will reinstate the individual mandate tax?

7 As Vice President, you oversaw the weakest economic recovery since the Great Depression. What would you do differently if you were elected?

8 Your plan would raise the U.S. business tax rate higher than China’s rate. Won’t that make it more expensive for companies to do business in America and ultimately send jobs overseas?

9 President Trump imposed restrictions on travel from China on January 31 to combat the spread of the coronavirus. Why did it take you two months to say you supported that decision?

10 In 2008 you and Barack Obama promised to fully fund the federal COPS program, which provides resources to local law enforcement. But funding for this program was cut while you were vice president, despite your promise. Why did you fail to keep your word?

11 Earlier this year your campaign staff donated money to the Minnesota Freedom Fund, an organization that bailed out of a jail a rioter who shot at police officers and other violent criminals and sexual predators. Your running mate Kamala Harris also urged people to donate to that organization and is still raising money for it. Do you condone that?

12 You say if you’re elected you’ll push to give citizenship to the 11 million undocumented people in our country. Why do you believe they should receive Medicare and Social Security benefits?

13 When you were running for president in 2007, both you and Obama pledged to renegotiate NAFTA, a promise you did not keep when you were in office. You recently blamed Republicans for this, saying they wouldn’t go along with it, but Democrats controlled Congress in 2009 when the Obama Administration announced it would not even try to change NAFTA. So why did you fail to keep your word?

14 When you voted to give China “most favored nation” trade status in 2000, you said you did not foresee “the collapse of the American manufacturing economy” because of it. But by one estimate, it led to the loss of 1 million manufacturing jobs in the U.S. Do you acknowledge that your vote to give China most favored nation trade status was a mistake that hurt American workers?

15 The 2009 H1N1 swine flu pandemic infected 60 million Americans when you were VP, and the federal government depleted its strategic stockpile of N95 masks in response. A fact check by USA Today found that your administration made no effort to replenish the stockpile of masks, despite warnings from experts. Do you accept responsibility for that failure, which left America unprepared for another pandemic?

16 Your campaign says it is a “lie” that “the Biden-Harris ticket is the most radically pro-abortion” ticket “in U.S. history.” Are there any restrictions on abortion that you support, and if so, please be specific?

17 You said the N-word 13 times during a 1985 Senate nomination fight, when you were quoting something attributed to someone else. Do you think that was appropriate to do? Is that the only time you’ve said the N-word?

and if the lying media doesn't ask you all 17 of those, then you are a liar too joe biden

5 In January 2017, you said that Democrats should not block President Trump’s nominees for the Supreme Court. You said you believe the Constitution “requires” the Senate “to give the nominee a hearing and a vote.” In 2016 you said “would go forward with the confirmation process” of a Supreme Court nominee “even a few months before a presidential election … just as the Constitution requires." Now you say the Constitution requires the exact opposite. How do you reconcile that change?

excuse me for one moment.

*footstep noises receding down the hall, down the stairs into the unfinished basement, which is damp and cold. rustling around in a moving box for an old thick blanket that smells like smoke*

*MUFFLED BLOODCURDLING SCREAM*

i do kind of want to see #15 get asked, because i admit that i do want to watch the two candidates for president of the united states to get into an old man fistfight, on stage

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nKEcddAU9n0/TNhbE6WUFRI/AAAAAAAAAG0/OA9vlo5fw4Y/s1600/mr.blobby+VS+Phil+Mitchel.jpg

Biden was, like, my 17th choice in the primaries but I’ll admit I hope he drops some weird folksy shit on Trump tomorrow.

“Get a load of this tomato. Tell you what, Jack, flippin’ nickels might cut the mustard over at your pappy’s juke joint but this is the big leagues, get me?”

— Abe “Abe Goldfarb” Goldfarb (@AbeGoldfarb) September 29, 2020

i think Abe Goldfarb's first choice was some '30s Warner Brothers character actor, maybe Ned Sparks