Bartending

That sounds terrific. Dark fruit + scovilles + tequila, yeahhhh.

I hope that fucker doesn't die while I'm working, I'm liable announce a round on the house and get myself fired.

hahaha <3

also we just made plum shrub with allspice and black pepper and bay leaf, surely that's gotta be good with rum and bitters? my wife is not a fan of Scovilles.

Heck yeah, I'll be right over.

One thing I didn't know or expect about bartending is that I'd be sticky from beginning to end of every shift. Juicing squirty citrus and prepping garnishes, then dealing with little spills of sweetened liqueurs and simple syrup all night, mixing juice/syrup premixes for special cocktails...no matter how often I wash my hands, wipe down surfaces and change towels, my hands are tacky until I leave for the night.

The other staff bartender has been off the last two Saturdays and the fill-in is a bartender on furlough from Disney. I was too irritated at her last night to ask if she'd survived the big layoff last week. She's soooo sloowwwww...

We've started opening Tuesday and Weds for happy hour, 4-7, appetizers-only from the kitchen. Tuesday, the first day of the new hours, we were pretty slow, still busy enough to cover payroll and make the opening worth it. Wednesday we were slammed like we'd never been before, enormous numbers and not enough staff; that's Church Night for you in a newly wet town.

Loads of people were swilling Liquid Marijuana, so yesterday I went in and batched 3 liters of the boozes for that so each drink would be one 3 oz. pour instead of 4 little ones, a crucial time-saver for the next happy hour.

sounds like the place is a hit!

So far so good! One of the Mexican restaurants in town has closed for a few months after an ownership change so they could rework their menu and add beer and frozen margaritas, but so far we're still the only bar game in town.

Made a quick run to the liquor store for prosecco in case any brave soul wants to pop a cork for Joe tonight.

Developing a roasted pineapple margarita, early results very promising. Rolled out an aged eggnog yesterday for all of December, handed out a few free samples last night to positive feedback.

One of the bar regulars last night started spouting bullshit about how much we don't know about vaccines and he's not going to get one until he's sure, blah blah blah. I'd come back at every stupid assertion with "what's your news source for believing that?" and it would usually be OANN or just something somebody told him. He also said he had to get his temperature checked at the gate every day before going in to work, but he made them do the infrared sensor on his wrist instead of his forehead "'cause I just don't like anything aimed at my head, 'specially something shaped like a gun."

So what else did Senator Tuberville say

"Ah don't want mah RNA scrambled. Damn, that margarita was fiiiiiine."

Meanwhile, the GM/co-owner turns out to be one of those guys who absolutely loves Christmas, loves getting the place done up in decorations, and most of all, loves playing Christmas music over the house system. So I asked him if there were any exceptions to this or should I just stick an icepick in my head right now. He thought that was really funny.

Oh god

I once worked at a kind of hipster grocery store where they played the “harder they come” soundtrack all day, every day. Great record when you hear it a few times or when stopping in for some cheese. After 40 times, not so much. Many rivers to cross.

Thinking about getting a blender at the bar for frozen drinks but worried that it will open a regrettable can of worms.

don't do it

Funny blender attachment that would open a can imo

heh

Yeah, the more I read up on this, the less I like the idea.

Save it for post covid entertaining splurge buying

Skip the blender, get the slushy mixers

FRIENDS: Ooh this place has a frozen daiquiri machine!
ME: Don't do it. Don't do it. There is a zero percent chance it will be any good.
FRIENDS: <order frozen daiquiris anyway>
Ten minutes pass...
FRIENDS: We should have listened.

But on the topic of blenders, stand-up (spindle) blenders are totally legit pieces of equipment for flash blending: https://punchdrink.com/articles/flash-blend-way-better-frothy-drink/

ooh, interesting, thanks ernestp

I want to be able to make frozen drinks, but I don't want to be roped into making only frozen drinks. Maybe I could treat it like the H&F Cheeseburger, ring the bell once a night and the first four customers who claim it can get one.

i was going to suggest doing it once a week as a special on a manageable night.

Sell 'em by the batch/carafe...?

I rarely make frozen drinks but I sometimes pull out this recipe for a frozen banana daiquiri - just blend everything together (I use one of those small Magic Bullet-style blenders):
1.5 oz rum
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
1 banana
juice from one lime
1 tsp sugar
handful of ice

Wednesday was so, so bad. We were at 110% capacity near as I could tell, with only me at the bar and everyone wanting drinks that took a while to build – margaritas, Sazeracs, sours – rather than just highballs or beers. I will start looking for an escape route from the job before going through too many more of those. So last night, a night off, I went to the bar and just sat and had a beer so I could experience the place without hating it or feeling like my hair was on fire.

WmC, where are you bartending that the bar gets at capacity during a pandemic?

Northeast Mississippi, where pandemic precautions are something we strongly consider and then totally ignore.

damn dude. hope yer double-masking it and that we all get outta this hellscape soon.

Had a covid denier in last night, a trucker who's stuck in town for a couple of days while he waits for tie-down equipment to be delivered by other truckers (who are in the middle of their mandated 34-hour reset in Knoxville). Anyway, he was nice enough but completely convinced that covid is a hoax -- the medical community is using it as a massive cash grab. "Lung cancer? Call it covid and get real paid. Pneumonia? Call it covid and get real paid." etc. I was pretend-smiling and shooting eye-lasers at him and said "Ohhh, I should tell my mother about that -- OH WAIT I CAN'T, BECAUSE SHE DIED FROM IT." Didn't faze him a bit, he just kept rambling on. But he did change the subject pretty quickly.

You have the patience of a saint.

anybody who pisses off the person who make them drinks is an unintelligent person

In all other respects, he was a nice guy, tipped well, which in a way just pissed me off more. They're out there! The pod people! They look just like our friends and neighbors! Don't go to sleep!

WmC, i only just found this thread and read the whole thing. it's a great read! glad you've stayed healthy--would read a book full of your bar thoughts.

also i'm so sorry about your mom

would read a book full of your bar thoughts.

same

what did you end up doing with the pomelo juice?

??? pomelo juice ???

that bitter orange thing?

I'm still drawing a blank. Something from another thread or Facebook? I did find a jar of grapefruitcello last year that I stuck in the pantry 2 years earlier and forgot.

Keep waiting for the other shoe to drop on WmC's trucker:

"Did he... did he mention waiting on trucks in Knoxville? Oh, God. That's the guy who shows up here every February 24. Turns out, it's the anniversary of his dying from typhoid out on Highway 278!"

"But yes, at least he does tip well."

lol

He said he lives out of his truck and just has a little storage unit in Missouri for some personal effects, so whenever he finds himself with mandated idle time, he finds a bar/restaurant and just stays there all day long until closing time. He said he's going to remember Amory and be back at our place someday. ("SOMEdayyyyyyy")

I have been bugging the shit out of Kroger's produce people about when rhubarb would arrive, but since I never catch the produce manager it's all "sorry, dunno." Then I remembered I had 3 vacuum sealed packs of it in the freezer. So now I have rhubarb syrup to play with for a while. Gin + rhubarb syrup in almost any formulation is Instant Classic.

my bartending trick was putting a pint of blueberries in a plastic container, then filling it with gin and letting it sit overnight, then serving like five or six of them in a ramekin as an amuse bouche

When I worked for Wetherspooons in my 20s (very much not bartending, but still) I once got called up in front of management because someone had called head office complaining about the Deicide inverted pentagram I'd drawn in the top of their Guinness. Still the most metal thing I've ever done.

Was that a common practice of yours or were you serving satan?

I had been practising it a bit. This was Hallowe'en so it seemed OK.

i agree!

xpost Ha.. I once got called in at a winery for writing Black Sabbath in a layer of frost on a fermenting chardonnay tank... "We have tourists coming through here, you know.." etc.