Worst TV adverts of the moment

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In the spirit of responsible posting I'm not going to describe the violence I've fantasised about inflicting on the new Asda advert man

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 September 2020 22:05 (three years ago) link

Shot and edited on iPhone

(Additional software and hardware used)

koogs, Monday, 14 September 2020 01:29 (three years ago) link

you wait ages for an advert for underwear made from bamboo and then two come along at once.

the 'isn't it good to share' mobile phone advert is misleading, i think - in all the examples you see the thing (pizza, bicycle, sandwiches...) being shared grows in size before the sharing, which isn't the case with your data.

koogs, Saturday, 19 September 2020 20:07 (three years ago) link

gee willikins the current Sainsbury's advert is bad bad bad

how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 September 2020 20:13 (three years ago) link

These Nationwide "poets" aren't even trying any more are they?

Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Monday, 28 September 2020 17:12 (three years ago) link

"I am not a poet
Living is the poem..."

Mark G, Monday, 28 September 2020 18:24 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I should probably stop watching re-runs of Star Trek TNG on the Horror Channel, but for inexplicable algorithmic reasons during the breaks they show a Barbie ad, which is truly stroke-inducing in its twee awfulness

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 09:43 (three years ago) link

the girl imagining she's giving a lecture? horrible

Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 10:31 (three years ago) link

that's the one!

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 10:35 (three years ago) link

The guy in the latest nationwide ad had managed to achieve the most hateable hair and beard combination I've ever seen, I can't even look at him

or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 10:55 (three years ago) link

I agree, but I am ashamed to admit that his joke is... almost funny?

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:02 (three years ago) link

I'm sorry but I can't get past his head

or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:17 (three years ago) link

it's not a joke, it's a poem

apparently

Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:45 (three years ago) link

apparently poems are just saying stuff now

Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:45 (three years ago) link

I went for a big shit this morning
It's great having a house with a bog
Cheers Nationwide

Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:46 (three years ago) link

that particular one doesn't make me want to permanently deafen myself like all the others, so that's something

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:37 (three years ago) link

wait, the hateable yoga ad or the equally hateable bedroom door ad?

koogs, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:43 (three years ago) link

The one with a man who's head would look the same if it was put on upside down

or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:47 (three years ago) link

The worst recent poem is the woman given a cake in the coffee shop.

pedantly admonishment (aldo), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:49 (three years ago) link

still feel like Jonny Fluffypunk takes the cake for being called Jonny Fluffypunk

Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:51 (three years ago) link

cake one very bad but brother coming in my bedroom one even worse for just saying stuff

Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:52 (three years ago) link

Poll?

or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 13:20 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

remember when all the adverts were fake zoom calls with the asian one forgetting to unmute and the obligatory pet interruption at the end? seems like a million years ago.

the meta go-compare ads need to stop.

koogs, Tuesday, 10 November 2020 19:14 (three years ago) link

has anybody noticed on the current Vanish carpet cleaner ads that the voiceover dude says "revive carpets" in this really weird aggro way?

big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 November 2020 19:18 (three years ago) link

Not everybody likes Christmas Lisa

Ward Fowler, Friday, 20 November 2020 10:04 (three years ago) link

Depends what she bring to da partie

Mark G, Friday, 20 November 2020 13:01 (three years ago) link

the one with a lot of presumably newly-wiped arses walking away is a bit odd.

koogs, Friday, 20 November 2020 15:26 (three years ago) link

"odd" is one word, "absolutely rank and i'd like to murder everybody responsible" is some more words

Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 November 2020 15:36 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

ah, perfume advert season, time for random music choices. "Cheree" - beautiful, perfect. "Where Is My Mind?" - still really love you despite being a lazy cunt's cliche. The "She Done a Bad Bad Thing" song - get tae fuck with your white twat blues bollocks I used to think you was the worst thing ever recorded. Until: are they called Dead Weather? I dunno. That Jack White thing with the cunt out of Deadpool or whatever. I hope everybody in the vicinity of wherever that shit was recorded dies and goes to hell.

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:02 (three years ago) link

haven't seen that one but the Bad Bad Thing one is fucking awful yes

CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:13 (three years ago) link

I thought the song in the perfume ad with Marion Cottilard was a spoof at first but there has never been a medium with less sense of dramatic irony than perfume advertising and this was just another example

or something, Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:37 (three years ago) link

It's amazing how up themselves perfume adverts are, but that's totally the point of them

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:38 (three years ago) link

I guess that's what it takes to flog tiny bottles of flowery smelling liquid for 70 quid

or something, Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:41 (three years ago) link

Well you don't want to wear it ironically

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:43 (three years ago) link

the JP Gautier one where - gasp!!! - there's a scandal because a supermodel isn't wearing trousers at least doesn't take itself as seriously as the rest of them

Neil S, Saturday, 5 December 2020 22:08 (three years ago) link

I love JPG so he's allowed

Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 22:12 (three years ago) link

My theory is that the things with the highest profit margins are the things you see most adverts for, so cars and perfume, lots of disposable money to spend on TV exposure.

(Falls down a bit when you consider all the over 50s life insurance adverts, shampoo, and cheapo supermarkets. Or does it?)

koogs, Sunday, 6 December 2020 07:51 (three years ago) link

Not at all

Mark G, Sunday, 6 December 2020 23:44 (three years ago) link

they're also those products with least to actually differentiate themselves from one another and most invested in "the brand", hence an arms race in advertising to try to carve out a market share

Neil S, Monday, 7 December 2020 09:42 (three years ago) link

co-op and now centrepoint have also started doing the poems in adverts thing. it's a plague.

that dancing on the moon thing and the mad max one are good examples of lots of money being thrown at perfume ads.

the snoop dogg just eat ad is better than it sounds on paper.

koogs, Friday, 18 December 2020 09:44 (three years ago) link

They are now making the ads in Snoop's absence

Mark G, Friday, 18 December 2020 09:46 (three years ago) link

always the way. iggy pop got replaced by a puppet of iggy pop.

koogs, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:08 (three years ago) link

they're also those products with least to actually differentiate themselves from one another and most invested in "the brand", hence an arms race in advertising to try to carve out a market share

― Neil S, Monday, December 7, 2020 9:42 AM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

I had somebody explaining this idea re alcohol a couple of decades ago. That the bigger brands who you saw most advertising by were seen by those who knew the product in general would view as low com denom, I think he was specifically saying taht if you went to Cuba and ordered a rum and were served with a commercial product you'd be offended. I think he nameda brand but it was a couple of decades ago.,
BUt this was what people had had marketed to them, which was how they knew the product so didn't have a default decent version in their mental database or swatchbook or whatever. AAlso tie taht in with having read about the lasting impression getting a picture from buying from supermarkets as opposed to a more direct less packaged version which has less focus on shelf life and aesthetics of the perfect fruiit that all like pretty iconic but don't taste of anything. Which may be less of a monopolising feature than when i was reading about it but may just be greenwash.

Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:15 (three years ago) link

co-op and now centrepoint have also started doing the poems in adverts thing. it's a plague.

My God yes, rhyming should be banned from adverts.

Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Friday, 18 December 2020 12:04 (three years ago) link

I had somebody explaining this idea re alcohol a couple of decades ago. That the bigger brands who you saw most advertising by were seen by those who knew the product in general would view as low com denom, I think he was specifically saying taht if you went to Cuba and ordered a rum and were served with a commercial product you'd be offended. I think he nameda brand but it was a couple of decades ago.,
BUt this was what people had had marketed to them, which was how they knew the product so didn't have a default decent version in their mental database or swatchbook or whatever. AAlso tie taht in with having read about the lasting impression getting a picture from buying from supermarkets as opposed to a more direct less packaged version which has less focus on shelf life and aesthetics of the perfect fruiit that all like pretty iconic but don't taste of anything. Which may be less of a monopolising feature than when i was reading about it but may just be greenwash.

― Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:15 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've tried with this 6 or 7 times now but think I'm just gonna have to call it a day

or something, Friday, 18 December 2020 12:14 (three years ago) link

point was that they had reduced quality of the product made to fit a non educated taste. A commercial brand was a vague approximation of what was made for but would be what a 'normal punter' would know as taht product. Like if you knew beer as Budweiser lager instead of Budwar or a local brew or something.
& what the supermarket has done to the tastes of what people do not know is the supposed ideal of what these mass production versions are supposed to be approximating. Flavour goes out of the window as do all the things a connoisseur of a product would want in that product.
Certainly seemed to be a widespread thing 10 or 20 years ago but there seemed to be some form of backlash against it which may have been superficial hence greenwash.

Bottom line being agreeing with the idea that taht which needs to rely on advertising doesn't have its own qualities which is what the previous poster's point was.
I agreed with teh person I was in the pub with at the time but could see he may have been overstating. I think his point was taht if you went to Cuba with a Bacardi and tried to pass it off as a decent rum you would be laughed at because it was more fo a commercialised version than anything a rum drinker there would recognise ass worthy. BUt since taht is what people outside of th eoriginal market would be familiar as as rum it is far more the referent point than what should be.

Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 14:01 (three years ago) link

so a fruit looks iconic because of the amount of food wastage involved in the mass production process. All ugly fruit are dumped while the farmer is left paying for them and also has overhead cut as much as possible to allow supermarket to have lowest possible price.

Foods are packaged for shelf life which meant that some cheeses had their characteristic internal workings removed so they could be vacuum sealed. Big thing I saw referred to in a number of places was flavour being sacrificed for looks. you would wind up with bland if not tasteless ideal looking apples and strawberries among other fruit.

Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 14:12 (three years ago) link

I thought you meant Bacardi, in which case unfortunately it's more of less total bollocks.

Bacardi was an attempt to make a smoother, better class/higher price rum, but way back in the middle of the 19th Century. They started production off Cuba circa wwII but escaped to America - having been opposed to the revolution - when Castro siezed their assets.

Havana Club*, on the other hand, is drunk throughout Cuba and is very much commercialised and/or branded there as being 'superior' compared to Ron Cubay which is sort of the only other available country-wide as opposed to the local factory which will be Ron de town or city.

As with tequila, the real difference isn't necessarily the producer but more the aging - silver only good for mixing, añejo to be sipped with a cube of ice. Even more so, if you go down the rabbit hole into rums where the sugar cane is sourced from a single plantation (which is broadly the same sort of cachet as single malts) but to my knowledge Cuba doesn't make any of those.

* Not to be confused with the Havana Club you buy here, which is made by Bacardi to the same recipe (which they bought from the family) as the one made in Cuba (and tastes pretty close).

pedantly admonishment (aldo), Friday, 18 December 2020 14:30 (three years ago) link

Thankfully the Pimlico Plumbers Christmas advert is, like the new covid strain, limited to the London area.

koogs, Saturday, 19 December 2020 21:38 (three years ago) link

LOL they are choice.

Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Saturday, 19 December 2020 22:13 (three years ago) link


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