Robert Pattinson IS The Batman

Net zero superheroes by 2027 it needs to happen

they can get a head start by wiping existing movies

there might be net zero people in 2027 so

they're gonna start going through all the old movies and making them batman or spiderman movies

vertigo? that's a batman movie now. the killing of a chinese bookie? that's a spiderman

batman begins? strangely, that's a spiderman

r-pattz in dark eyeliner and eyeshadow <3

but everything else about this looks terrible.

12 Angry Batmen

TS: Batmen vs Batsman

This thing is only 25% filmed, but they're already releasing a trailer...massive confidence or barely masked panic?

Eh, they've got a year. Which means they've got enough time to recast Batman with Jason Bateman. Or hell, Justine Bateman.

just once i want the leather masked dipshit to take a punch at the scoffing punk and then have the scoffing punk step aside and leave leather masked dipshit wildly swinging at the air and then throwing a tantrum.

just the most toxic power fantasies, constantly supporting the idea that one properly trained asshole can take on a mob or the state

cobain would've absolutely hated all this shit of course

with the lights out
it's real gritty
it's too bad the
movie's shitty

Now I'm imagining the trailer soundtracked by Weird Al's "Smells Like Nirvana."

Someone should seriously replace it with a slowed down, menacing version of that.

Nah, just keep it as is. Let the ridiculousnessness shine.

Release the Weird Cut!

As Jess H pointed out over on Twitter, Weird Al IS canon:

https://braveandbold.fandom.com/wiki/Weird_Al_Yankovic

even in his best efforts to include everything in Zur-En-Arrh hallucination-induced canon, Morrison didn't go as far as a TV cartoon adaptation of Harvey Kurtzman's 1950s MAD parody, or Scooby-Doo https://braveandbold.fandom.com/wiki/Bat-Mite_Presents:_Batman%27s_Strangest_Cases!

i hope pattinson stays good and interesting after this, that's all.

black on black on black is so tired rn

come back joel, all is forgiven
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr6gACml4h0

They should reboot Batman as a hero that fights in the broad daylight.

I've always wondered about that, tbh. If I were a bad guy in Batman world, I would do all my crimes in the daylight when I just had boring old police to contend with.

Good Bit of Daytime action in the Adam West version.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41t3Pqslp2L._AC_SX466_.jpg

Really, these gloomy Batmans should have the big visual "boom!" and "pow!" effects, because it's so hard to see the fights in the dark. In the brightly lit Adam West version they were all pretty redundant. You think I can't recognize a "biff!" or "blam!" when I see one?! I mean, duh.

crime is rampant in the daylight cos Batman can't see his batsignal in the sun, and then the Batsignal General came and dismantled his signal, citing cost-savings, so now Gotham is lost

Good point! It's just too bright for the bat signal. And then in the summer, when night falls later and later? That's pretty rough. Batman is all sitting in his kitchen, leg bouncing, checking his batwatch again and again, peaking out between the blinds, waiting for the street lights to finally pop on ...

Batman actually beats up 1 in every 3 civilian he runs into so they'll be woozy and unable to commit crime when it's daylight out. he just has to hope he hits the right people

Batman offers grants to all the batbars to keep the happy hour (batty hour?) specials super-cheap so that come nightfall the bat villains are all pretty sluggish.

i hope pattinson stays good and interesting after this, that's all.

― Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Sunday, August 23, 2020 12:38 PM (five hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

otm, too many interesting directions over the past few years. he can spend a decade showing up in cheap productions and still live off Batman cash after this

thought the trailer looked better than almost all other recent dc things. didn’t suffer from snyder's hyper-saturated visual language, actually looked fairly sharp.

On the other hand, another fucking Batman movie.

ive managed to avoid all the batfleck films, so idk maybe i’ll check this one

yeah maybe not the best time to once again make a rich angryman cop a romantic hero

Bat Lives Matter?

i think rpattz could be a decent batman imo

I'm always game to watch someone beat up Paul Dano in a movie

There Will Be More Blood

vertigo? that's a batman movie now. the killing of a chinese bookie? that's a spiderman

It's a Batty, Batty, Batty, Batty World

upcoming DCEU movies:

Wonder Woman 2
Batman 1 only took them a decade
Suicide Squad reboot or 2 or 3 depending
Black Adam 1 and done
Shazam 2
Flash 1
Aquaman 2

This trailer looks emo as hell. Will watch, love r patts

I like r patz and I'm glad this will indirectly help him make a whole bunch more weird ass movies.

Oh and that really was the original Nirvana track, remixed:

https://www.udiscovermusic.com/news/nirvana-batman-trailer-soundtrack/

R-Patz HAS The Rona.

excellent start to the batman press tour

we can't let the oscar nominations eclipse the pasta update from robert pattinson https://t.co/yUxWWBwhke pic.twitter.com/Pj9ybFYhF9

— iana murray (@ianamurray) February 8, 2022

<3

rpattz forever. may he remain awkard forever

the profile (and accompanying photoshoot) is once again, full of gems:

When he started auditioning, anytime he’d introduce himself as English while trying out for an American role, the casting agents would act concerned. “They’d always question it: ‘We’re worried about the accent…’ ” he says. “So I used to always come in as a different person, an American. I’d say, ‘Hi, I’m from Michigan.’ But then I was doing an audition for Transformers 2, right after Twilight had come out”—in other words, precisely the moment that Pattinson became a globally famous actor—“and I went in as some guy from Denver. And they called my agent and were like, ‘What’s wrong with him? Why was he doing an improv? A really boring improv?’ ”

Him thinking The Devil All The Time was a comedy explains SO MUCH about that movie lmao:

Pattinson threw another knuckleball into 2020’s The Devil All the Time, in which he plays a creepy, corporeal Southern preacher who seduces young parishioners and then gaslights them about their sexual encounters. “But I thought that one was supposed to be a comedy. I remember reading the script and it was so extreme, with such monstrous characters, I was thinking it had to be.” (It wasn’t.)

gold

really want to hear his ambient music, ngl